Legal Juice

If you are among those who can look at a piece of bologna and still eat it, that may change after you read this. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch:

[Ex-deputy] Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner's penis.

What was the evidence that this grade-school prank actually happened?

Cantwell, of Park Point Lane in Lewis Center in Delaware County, and another deputy, Phillip Barnett, photographed the sandwich incident in the Downtown jail. Both were fired by Sheriff Jim Karnes in May.

Photos? Were these guys in a cave when the Abu Ghraib photos were EVERYWHERE? So what was the punishment?

Franklin County Municipal Judge Harland H. Hale fined Cantwell $500 but suspended a 90-day jail sentence, provided that he complete his [5 years of] probation.

What about the sandwich-eater?

Copeland and two other prisoners have sued the county.

Since the Juice has a soft spot for personal injury lawyers, he is really hoping that Mr. Copeland filed this action pro se. You can read more here.

Custodian Stephen L. Thompson must really dislike a certain Clark County court reporter. We know this because he urinated on her chair. How do we know this? Per the courier-journal.com:

A probable-cause affidavit filed in Clark Superior Court said an employee with the county circuit court discovered a “wet substance” on her chair upon arriving at work July 15.

Okay, so how do they know it was Mr. Thompson?

Following that, a hidden surveillance camera was installed.

Doh! Mr. Thompson was then caught on tape.

Thompson was arrested when he arrived for work and later posted bail, according to Jeremy Mull, Clark County's chief deputy prosecutor.

The charges?

...attempted battery by body waste

What, you've never heard of attempted battery by body waste? Here's the source.

It started with a really bad car accident. Melbourne, Florida resident Carl Lambert had to have his leg amputated at the accident scene. Things went from extremely bad to extremely strange. Per CBS12 news:

Lambert's Attorney says he was flown to the hospital, but his leg didn't follow.

What happened to it?

Right now, all Karl Lambert knows is what he was told: the leg didn't come with him and it was put in someone's freezer.

That someone was a firefighter.

St. Lucie Fire officials say the firefighter was not a rookie. Right now, she is still on the job pending the outcome of the investigation.

Mr. Lambert is left to wonder if his leg could have been reattached. Here's the source.

What kind of person would sexually assault a dog, and make a boy watch? It's difficult to fathom. As reported by the Grand Junction Sentinel:

Allegations that a former Grand Junction man had sex with a dog while forcing a 7-year-old boy to watch has astounded even the county’s top prosecutor.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Pete Hautzinger, Mesa County’s District Attorney, said after the defendant’s first court hearing Thursday.

Jason Lee McRoberts, 30, posted a $1,000 cash bond from the Mesa County Jail on Thursday on a low-level felony charge of obscenity for alleged sexual incidents that occurred at his Grand Junction home between December 2007 and June 2008.

McRoberts, who now lives in Castle Rock and also was wanted on a Grand Junction Police Department warrant for indecent exposure, turned himself in for the obscenity charge.

Local authorities learned of the allegations from the boy’s mother, who lives in Texas. In an interview with Texas investigators, the boy said while he lived in Grand Junction he was made to watch McRoberts have sex with a dog, according to an arrest affidavit for McRoberts.

Hautzinger said it’s unclear whether McRoberts will face any child abuse charges.

McRoberts appears next in court Sept. 11.

Ohio resident Alan David Patton went to great lengths to collect urine ... so he could drink it. So a father and his son were trying to use a restroom at Sports Ohio. Per the Columbus Local News:

The father told police there were trash bags covering the toilets and paper cups in the urinals, as well as typed signs in the restroom directing people to use the urinals with the cups in them.

While in the restroom, the father told police he opened a stall and saw a man, sitting on the toilet with a black bag on his lap.

Um, er, nevermind. Mr. Patton was arrested and charged with criminal mischief.