You bet (while you still can!) Better get down to Louisana and catch a cockfight before it’s too late. It’s the only state that still allows cockfighting, but not for long. 
The Louisana House and Senate have both approved of the repeal of a section of state law that declares chickens are not subject to the state’s cruelty-to-animals laws.
It all started with a $25 ticket for walking a dog without a leash. As reported in The Washington Post, per Washington, DC resident Peter McMahon:
When I got to the station on April 12 at 6:45 a.m., I was promptly arrested. Throughout the day I was put in five cells, handcuffed three times, fingerprinted twice, made to wear leg shackles and photographed before being released at about 5 p.m.
Handcuffs?! Leg shackles?! You’ve got to click here and read the whole story to believe it (and even then, it’s hard to believe).
In this post-9/11 world, we ask a lot of airport security personnel – they are, after all, our first line of defense against airborne terrorist attacks. We expect them to be vigilant watchdogs, keeping their eyes and ears open for signs of anything unusual in our nation’s airports.
But this is ridiculous.
Ms. Renee Koutsouradis had boarded her flight from Las Vegas to Tampa, and was waiting for the plane to leave the gate, when she was summoned to the front by flight attendants. She was escorted off the plane and down onto the tarmac, where she was informed that “something was vibrating” in her bag (guess what it was). The court explains what happened next:
On the tarmac, in the presence of three Delta male employees, and apparently in view of some of the other passengers still seated on the plane, the gate agent asked Koutsouradis to open her bag and take the batteries out of the vibrator. Koutsouradis alleges that, at this time, one of the Delta male employees . . . made sexually explicit statements toward her, causing the other men to laugh. She claims [he] licked his lips and said “What do [you] need that for?”, “Doesn’t your husband satisfy you?”, and “Come on Baby, let me satisfy you.”
Surprisingly, this smooth-talking luggage-handling lothario failed to win the heart of our heroine. In fact, she found his comments inappropriate and offensive. And so – this is a legal blog, after all – she sued the airline for infliction of emotional distress (among other things), claiming that its boorish bagman had caused her to suffer “panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder.”
How do you think she did at trial? (Click here to find out.)
Petty Officer Second Glass Jason Knight, a trained Hebrew linguist, is gay. So, under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the Navy booted him in 2005. 
He even had to give back his $13,000 signing bonus. Then, just 9 months later, the Navy called him up for a one-year tour in Kuwait. He gladly accepted, hoping to return to active duty full-time, perhaps entering officers candidate school.
Now, just weeks before the end of his one-year tour, the Navy discharged him again because … he is gay! Apparently they were not pleased with an interview he did with Stars & Stripes and other media. Here’s what Knight had to say in a letter to Stars & Stripes before this latest discharge:
I spent four years in the Navy, buried fallen service members as part of the Ceremonial Guard, served as a Hebrew Linguist in Navy Intelligence, and received awards for exemplary service. However, because I was gay, the Navy discharged me and recouped my $13,000 sign-on bonus. Nine months later, the Navy recalled me to active duty. Did I accept despite everything that happened? Of course I did, and I would do it again. Because I love the Navy and I love my country. And . . . my shipmates support me.
Let’s just say that you wouldn’t want to live in an apartment owned by Vincent Tan of Edmonton, Alberta. Here’s what he was up to: A tenant came home and found Mr. Tan with his pants off and an erection visible through his underwear. Zoinks! Enter the police, who then searched Mr. Tan’s home, and found a cache of videotapes. 
On some of the videos, Tan is in the women’s apartment, and is masturbating while wearing their lingerie and clothing. On others, Tan is featured, in the women’s apartment, in “various sexually compromising positions.” And, this is truly, truly nasty [cat lovers – you have been warned – go now, and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow] Tan disclosed that he once masturbated a male cat for “experimental purposes.” I warned you.
You’ll never guess who this man lives with. His mother! And his sentence? Three months house arrest (they had to punish his mother too?), 9 months with an 11:30 p.m. curfew (keep your cats in during the day!), 100 hours of community service, psychological counseling and, most importantly, an order banning him from contact with male cats for 1 year. (Okay, I made that last bit up [about the cat ban].)
Things must be going awfully well in the Collier County, Florida school system. Why else would they spend so much time and so many resources doing battle over a harmless prank? Here’s what happened:
Senior Nick Sofos was asked to co-host a fundraiser for the school’s drama club.
Just before intermission, Nick faked an accidental pants-drop and turned his back on the crowd, mooning them. (Hmmm. I wonder where he got that idea?) For the occasion, he wore a thong, so that the crowd would not be exposed to anything other than his butt. After about 10 seconds of mock befuddlement, Nick pulled up his pants, apologized and exited the stage.
The following day, Nick was ordered to leave the school’s football game. (Fear the buttocks!)
He was then suspended for 10 days, after telling the principal that it was an accident.
Soon thereafter, per the principal, Nick sent him an e-mail admitting that it was not an accident.
After the suspension, Nick was required to spend 10 more days in the Phoenix Program, an alternative school.
That was too much for Nick’s parents, who went to court and asked the judge to force the school board to allow Nick to return to his high school. They won.
The school board appealed!
They lost.
Now they want to expel Nick for violating …. Rule 11! No, not Rule 11! Anything but Rule 11! Anyone have the Rule book? Sorry. Here it is. Rule 11 provides that “a student shall not use any method of communication, including electronic communication, that is obscene or profane, that causes personal humiliation or is likely to disrupt the school education, extracurricular or administrative process.”
So do you think Nick was expelled?
Missouri resident Thor Davis was no stranger to the state troopers. When Davis was pulled over
… [Trooper] Hines recognized [him], as he had previously stopped Davis for motor vehicle license violations. Hines … asked to see his driver’s license. Davis told Hines that he did not have a license, and did not need one because, “he was an ambassador of God, and had immunity.” At trial, Davis said, “I freely admit that I do not have a driver’s license. I will tell the Court that I do not intend to get a driver’s license because I feel that it is against my religious beliefs.” Davis declared he was merely “traveling in a conveyance” rather than “driving a motor vehicle.” When asked by the judge whether he was claiming that he was not “turning the wheel, and operating the brake pedal, and operating the accelerator,” Davis replied, “No, I’m not.” (emphasis added).
Oh, and Davis also contended that
his religious beliefs, as expressed in the Bible in Leviticus 18:3-5, Exodus 22:32-33, 34:10-17, and Deuteronomy 7:2, prohibit him from making any covenant or contract with any other god but God. He reasons that the state of Missouri is a god, and that an application for an operator’s license is a contract, which he is prohibited from making, because such act would amount to the crime of treason against his government and his King (God) (emphasis added).
What do you think the trial judge decided?
In Illinois, if you kill someone in the heat of the moment, you can get LESS jail time (mandatory 6-30 years) than if you try to do so and fail! (4-20 years, with the possibility of probation). “It’s so goofy,” said Peter Baroni, an attorney and lobbyist who has worked for the state Senate Judiciary Committee. “There’s a statutory incentive to finish the job–to kill somebody. It’s bizarre.” Because of strange results like this, and the ones listed below, among many others, Illinois created the CLEAR (Criminal Law Edit, Alignment and Reform) initiative to fix the criminal code. Here are a few examples of laws CLEAR proposes to fix:
You can launder money, as long as it comes from another state!
The law prohibiting the carrying of a weapon near a courthouse doesn’t cover federal courthouses.
There is a law that forbids lawyers from “wickedly” stirring up disputes – without defining “wickedly.”
The law that prohibits threats against public officials does not include assistant attorneys general.
There is a law prohibiting the manufacture of gunpowder within 20 rods of a valuable building. [What the hell is a rod? And I guess regular old buildings aren’t worth protecting?
Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when … [I’ll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don’t write them like they used to.]
It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting “sicker and sicker.” Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]
I … think … I’m … going … to … be ………sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.
Pastor Herman Lewis, of the Morning Star Baptist Church in Spokane, Washington, told detectives he has been living a double life for years – church on Sunday, prostitutes drugs and alcohol the rest of the week. Apparently still in the “church” mode when he was arrested on Monday (for attempted kidnapping, attempting to run down two police officers, attempted rape, and assault with a deadly weapon), he screamed that he was “Jesus” and “God.” His brother says he “snapped” and needs help.
