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finger%20severed%20cut%20off%20chopped.jpg No, not that. Read on… So 65-year old Pamela Fox thought 50-year-old neighbor Marija Andric harmed her flowers. Ms. Fox then allegedly “poured a caustic substance over the borders and lawn of [Ms.] Andric,” per The Telegraph. But that wasn’t the end of it.

Mrs Fox confronted Miss Andric, who opened her door to find Fox pointing an aerosol spray at her face.

Olive Lycourgou, prosecuting, at Reading Crown Court, Berks, said: “Miss Andric put her hands up to protect her face. Mrs Fox leaned in and bit off the end of Miss Andric’s little finger.” After the alleged assault she said Fox spat blood out of her mouth and ran away. Surgeons were unable to reattach the finger.

Ouchee! You can read more here.

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Ms. Gill Hodges committed an almost unspeakable crime [kids, leave the room]: she used four parking vouchers to pay for her parking, instead of two! And she had the nerve to wonder what difference it made, since her four vouchers added up to £2, exactly the required fee. I can answer her question the same way I answer my kids on occasion [the occasion being that I can’t think of a reason] – because. Ms. Hodges is not one to take such things (including a £60 [$120 US]) fine lying down. She e-mailed the council, and, per The Guardian, here’s how it responded:

Despite clear instructions on the reverse of Mrs Hodges’ vouchers warning that you can only use two vouchers at any time, the council decided to use its discretionary powers and revoke the fine.

However, this cancellation came with the proviso that should Mrs Hodges get another parking ticket, that fine will not be cancelled.

So kids, remember today’s lesson: while 2 x 1 = 2, don’t assume that 4 x .5 = 2. Click here to read more.

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Don Bolles, drummer for the legendary punk rock band The Germs, was on his way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting when he was pulled over by Newport Beach, California’s finest. For whatever reason (they hate punk?), they decide to search his car. I’m sure Bolles now wishes he hadn’t consented. He probably thought he had nothing to hide. Ah, but he forget about ……. the soap! Yes, soap. For some odd reason, the police field-tested Bolles’ bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. Using the handy-dandy Narcopouch 928, the police determined that Bolles had GHB (gamma hydroxyl butyrate – the “date rape” drug) in his soap!
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Never doubting for a second that the results could be erroneous, the Newport Beach police charged Bolles with a felony and took him to jail, where he spent the next 3 1/2 days. The soaps maker came to his defense. Ten days after being bailed out, a confirmation test done by the police crime lab came back negative, and the charges were dropped.

But that’s not the end of it. The soap’s manufacturer has been using the Narcopouch 928 GHB test kit to test a variety of products. So far, products from the following companies have produced false-positives: Neutrogena, Tom’s of Maine, Johnson & Johnson, Palmolive! Concerned about all of these false positives, Dr. Bronner’s is calling for police departments across the United States to stop using the Narcopouch 928.

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As reported in The South Florida Times:

Adrienne Frasier, a single mother of three children, has filed a housing discrimination complaint after being evicted from the Villas D’Este development in Delray Beach. The family had rented a luxury apartment there for more than three and a half years before being evicted after one of Frasier’s sons allegedly threw candy wrappers onto the ground.

The development’s managers did not respond to calls seeking comments, but court documents confirm that the discarded candy wrappers prompted the eviction.

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It’s good to be passionate about your work, but not too passionate. Take the case of Stanley Protokowicz, a Maryland divorce lawyer. He represented one Thomas Sanders (his best friend), who, shortly after divorce proceedings began, learned that his wife had been having an extramarital affair. Things began to go downhill at a meeting after a hearing before Harford County Circuit Court Judge Cypert Whitfill. As the Circuit Court for Baltimore County later explained:

It was during this meeting to discuss child custody and visitation that [Mr. Protokowicz] referred to Ms. Sanders as a slut. Although [Mr. Protokowicz] testified that it was Ms. Mervis (the lawyer for Ms. Sanders) who first referred to her client as a slut, the court finds [Mr. Protokowicz] was the first to use the term. Apparently [Mr. Protokowicz] was extremely emotional about Ms. Sanders conduct which he termed immoral. During this period there were rumors that there had been more than one adulterous affair during their marriage.

The Court continues (as if reciting the plot from a bad episode of Melrose Place):

Some of those rumors persisted and perhaps originated at the country club. There was some attempt by some members of the country club to bar Ms. Sanders’ use of the club swimming pool. Apparently Mr. Sanders was behind Ms. Sanders’ exclusion. . . In response to Ms. Mervis’ questioning as to why this was happening at the club, [Mr. Protokowicz] speculated that prior to the Sanders’ marital problems, Ms. Sanders was very popular at the club. Women members would circle around her when she put her chair down at the pool and now when she put her chair down, the others turned their chairs away.

Ms. Mervis referred to Ms. Sanders as a JAP, saying that if Ms. Sanders weren’t Jewish, she should be because she’s a Jewish American Princess. (Ms. Mervis attributes that reference to [Mr. Protokowicz]) In response to Ms. Mervis’ insistence on an explanation of why the women at the country club were snubbing Ms. Sanders, [Mr. Protokowicz] said, ‘Lisa, if I went into your Temple this week and shit on the floor, you wouldn’t welcome me back next week.’ Ms. Mervis testified that she was offended and took the remarks as anti-semitic.

Cat lovers might want to stop here. Dog lovers, click here to get to the microwaved cat.

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urine%20cup%20drink%20glass%20straw.jpg Ohio resident Alan David Patton went to great lengths to collect urine … so he could drink it. So a father and his son were trying to use a restroom at Sports Ohio. Per the Columbus Local News:

The father told police there were trash bags covering the toilets and paper cups in the urinals, as well as typed signs in the restroom directing people to use the urinals with the cups in them.

While in the restroom, the father told police he opened a stall and saw a man, sitting on the toilet with a black bag on his lap.

Um, er, nevermind. Mr. Patton was arrested and charged with criminal mischief.

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That’s what Bob Nicks was threatened with by the Performing Rights Society (PRS), which collects royalties for musicians – a lawsuit for one penny. Per the Evening Chronicle:

The not-for-profit organisation says any boss who plays music to their workers or customers through a radio at work needs a licence.

Just one problem. Mr. Nicks “says he has neither a radio nor any employees at his business, Power Tools Services, on Front Street, Dipton, County Durham…” So maybe the lawyers for the Performing Rights Society shouldn’t have sent Mr. Nicks a letter with the following language:

You may consider this debt as too small to warrant legal proceedings. However, we are firmly instructed to commence proceedings for recovery unless payment is made within seven days.

In the event of a judgement being obtained we shall seek all fixed costs and fees together with statutory interest.

The sum currently owed by yourself is relatively small and we would reasonably advise you to settle this issue forthwith without further expense and cost to yourself.

Not to worry. Things did end well for Mr. Nicks.

A PRS spokeswoman said: “PRS has reviewed the situation with Bob Nicks. Regrettably we made a mistake and we will be contacting Bob directly to apologise.

Click here if you’d like to read a little bit more.

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Censorship%20fuck%20censor%20bad%20wrong%20stupid.gif If you ask a Los Alamos, New Mexico man named Variable, a lot. Variable wanted to change his name to Fuck Censorship. But Bernalillo County Judge Nan Nash refused his requested. So Variable appealed. The Court of Appeals … denied it. Why? Per WTOPnews.com:

The man has the right to call himself whatever he wants, unless there’s fraud or misrepresentation involved, the judges said.

But once he seeks court approval for a name change, the court has the authority to turn him down on several grounds, including if the name is offensive to common decency and good taste, the judges ruled.

You’re not going to believe what Variable’s old name was: Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokligon. Check it out. Here’s the source.

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bag%20marijuana%20pot%20baggie%20dope%20drugs%20weed.jpg Talk about really bad timing (or being really stoned – or both), as reported by The Maryland Coast Dispatch [Ocean City]:

On Monday evening, an OCPD officer was in the Liquor Mart on 18th Street investigating a theft when he observed a female standing at the counter paying for her purchase.

When the female customer, identified as Allison Naughton, 22, of Ocean City, pulled out her wallet to take out her driver’s license, a small bag of marijuana fell out of the wallet and onto the floor. Naughton was arrested and charged with possession and has been released.

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In the past three years, trains on which Lee Shuang-chuan and his wife Chen Shi Shen-hong rode derailed three times! After the most recent derailment, on March 17, 2006, authorities thought the death of Lee’s wife was a tragic accident. They had been traveling on a train bound for Vietnam to visit Chen’s relatives. Suddenly, the train violently derailed, and Lee became a widower soon after the crash.

It wasn’t long, though before authorities began to uncover the following bizarre series of circumstances surrounding Chen’s death:

The 2 prior derailments!

Lee was a railway worker, and had worked as a railway inspector 2 years ago.

An autopsy of Chen’s body revealed the presence of Eutimine (a strong sedative mainly administered to patients with mental illnesses) and traces of a poisonous substance that was either rat poison or snake venom.

Lee had lost more than NT $33 million (roughly US $1,030,000) in the stock market between 2001 and 2004 (a tidy sum for a railway worker, no?)

Several days before the derailment, Lee took out a NT $20 million (US $625,000) insurance policy on his wife covering “accidental death.”

Lee’s previous wife died under “mysterious circumstances” four years ago. And what did Lee claim was the cause of his previous wife’s death? A snake bite. Do you think he collected on her insurance policy? He did.

Oh, and witnesses saw Lee giving Chen injections after dragging her to a bathroom near the scene of the derailment!

So What Happened to Lee?

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