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So you say you did this for lunch money? Who knew the cost of living in Goose Creek, South Carolina was so high? As reported by The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina):

Goose Creek police responded to an alarm at Stratford High School about 9:30 p.m. They chased down a man with a yellow crowbar, a prying instrument and $125 in dollar bills that had been taken from vending machines, according to the incident report.

The man told police he was breaking in because he was starting a new job the next day and needed lunch money, according to the report.

And the next day, and the day after that, and …

Matthew Thomas Moses, 33, of Ladson was charged with second-degree burglary, making implements capable of being used in a crime and resisting arrest. He’s being held at the Berkeley County jail.

Here’s the source.

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Who do you think this woman called after the crash, on the way to the hospital? She called her insurance company – to report it, right? Well, not exactly. As reported by PhillyBurbs.com:

On the way to the hospital after she was involved in a four-car accident last October, Regina Whitehead did what most people do: She called her insurance company.

Really? As a personal injury lawyer, The Juice can assure you that this is not something most crash victims do in an ambulance, on their way to the hospital. Anyway …

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Criminals don’t always make the best decisions. Here’s an excellent example, as reported by the South Asian Post:

Angry villagers in eastern India [Jharkhand] burned eight robbers and beat four others to death, police said. About 20 robbers raided a remote village in Jharkhand state, but were surrounded by hundreds of villagers, who began chasing them, the police said. “Four were beaten to death, while eight took shelter in a house, which was set on fire by the villagers,” Mohamed Nehal, a senior police officer, said. Armed villagers stood guard to ensure none of the robbers escaped.

Yikes. Think that village will be safe for a while?

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Some people just seem intent on sucking all of the joy out of life. Here’s a case in point, as reported by The Seattle Times:

The staff at Lafayette Elementary School in West Seattle has decided to uphold its decision not to allow students to dress up for Halloween this year, according to a Seattle Public Schools spokeswoman.

The decision, however, was centered around the costumes being a distraction during an abbreviated day of school, not around the possibility of offending students from other cultures, or offending some students’ religious beliefs, district spokeswoman Teresa Wippel said in an email sent out this morning.

So you made a bad decision, reviewed it, and decided to stick with it. Brilliant!

“Staff suggested that since Halloween falls this year on a half day of school, the school not allow costumes. It takes students a while to change into their costumes, and students are distracted, taking away from the already limited instructional time,” Wippel wrote.

“The principal said that staff also had a conversation about cultural issues that will also be discussed further, but the reason for the final decision about costumes this year was due to instructional time.”

As Colonel Sherman Potter of M.A.S.H. was fond of saying, “horse hockey!” In keeping with the teachings of Otter in Animal House (“We’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!”), one parent is somewhat defiant.

Although Halloween has its roots as a religious observance, parent Ken Allen said it’s pretty clearly a secular holiday now, and that’s what he’s hearing from other parents.

Allen’s daughter plans to dress up as Hunger Games protagonist Katniss Everdeen, and will get in costume after school if the costume ban holds.

Wippel said there is no district-wide policy on costumes. The decision to allow costumes is up to individual schools.

At least he’s a straightforward joysucker. Here’s the source.

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Running from the authorities? Not a good idea. Running from the authorities in the courthouse? Doh! Per wane.com:

It happened Tuesday in Tampa. A 25-year-old man in a purple shirt refused to sign his paperwork in a court case. Surveillance video shows the man took off running through the courthouse.

Bailiffs and two Tampa police officers gave chase and he was eventually tackled. The man was arrested and jailed without bond.

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It’s nice to see a couple in love, right? Yes, and no. In this case, definitely “no.” As reported by wkmg (clickorlando.com):

Orlando police said Jeremie Calo, 32, and his date were “having sex on a table in view of minor children” on the patio of Paddy Murphy’s restaurant.

Yikes!

“That’s ridiculous that they would do that out in public and also in front of kids,” said Ashley Webster. Several witnesses told Local 6 that parents with children were eating on the patio as the couple started making out, then things went further.

The kids!

“That’s totally unacceptable and insane. I’m shocked. I can’t believe that,” said Jackie Kelvington as she watched her daughter at gymnastics across the street. “I would absolutely yank my kids, get them away from that situation and hope that they didn’t see too much.”

Run!

The manager at Paddy Murphy’s, Tom Murphy, said as soon as he realized what was going on he put a stop to it. He told the couple, “Compose yourself, pay your tab or I’ll call the police,” according to the report.

Said Mr. Calo:

“She can’t get up at this time” because his date was still on top of him.

Funny. Not smart or cool. But pretty funny.

Murphy called police, and the couple then stopped what they were doing.

When police arrived, they arrested Calo for fighting with the manager and refusing to pay the $101 bill.

Wait, not fornicating in public, or some such charge?

Neither Calo nor his date were arrested for any of the sex allegations because none of the parents who saw the sex acts wanted to write statements for police.

Here’s the source.

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Hey, what’s the big deal? Clearly their yard wasn’t big enough for the bash, so these Texas twin brothers decided to “borrow” someone else’s property. Can you believe the property owners were not okay with this? As reported by khou.com:

[19-year-old twin brothers] Shawn and DaShawn Butler reportedly promoted the party online and invited people to an open field in Huffman on Saturday.

Deputies said they found the twins and a juvenile there on Friday. They also discovered the lock on the private property’s gate had been cut.

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Do you think these provisions of the Tennessee Constitution might be unconstitutional?

ARTICLE IX
Disqualifications.

Section 1. Whereas ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no minister of the Gospel, or priest of any denomination whatever, shall be eligible to a seat in either House of the Legislature.

Section 2. No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments, shall hold any office in the civil department of this state.

Yikes. Here’s the text. (Scroll down to page 553.)

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It’s undisputed that, if you postpone dealing with a problem it goes away. Wait, you mean that’s not true? Then why does everyone act as if it were? Anyway, per The Orlando Sentinel:

According to an arrest report, the incident began in a shopping plaza at Pine Hills Road and State Road 50, where 31-year-old Schyvonne Whitaker saw her boyfriend talking to another woman.

The woman, Tina Reese, said that Whitaker approached the pair in a red sport utility vehicle. The boyfriend’s response, Reese said, was to tell Whitaker to “drive off.”

Oh, it’s on now.

Reese left the shopping plaza at the intersection, heading north on Pine Hills in a Pontiac G6, when suddenly she saw Whitaker’s Suzuki XL7 approach at a high speed.

Whitaker began ramming the rear bumper of the sedan, witnesses said, and both drivers lost control. They crashed into a house at the intersection of Deauville Drive.

Before the crash, it seems that Ms. Whitaker was a bit overconfident.

Whitaker was taken into custody shortly after the incident. A passenger in her SUV told deputies that Whitaker said “I got you now” as she rammed Reese’s bumper.

And the fallout?

Reese, Whitaker and the other occupants in both vehicles survived mostly unscathed. The front walls of the small, one-story structure, however, suffered heavy damage in the crash.

Deputies arrested Whitaker in the suspected attack, charging her with aggravated battery with a motor vehicle, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle and criminal mischief.

An arresting deputy added a charges of providing a false identification and driving with a suspended license after he said Whitaker purposely misspelled her name while in custody.

And here’s another reason why maybe Ms. Whitaker should have dealt with her problems off the road.

The deputy wrote in his report that he later discovered Whitaker’s license has 24 active suspensions dating back to 2008, and is also currently expired.

Records show Whitaker has several previous arrests in Orange County, and served more than three years in prison after a 1995 conviction on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

She remained in the Orange County Jail on Saturday afternoon. Her bail was set at $5,650.

What? With that history, and trying to run someone off the road, bail is $5,650? How do you even come up with a number like that?

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