Squeezed on:

friends don't let friends drive drunk driving

“Hey buddy, I think you’ve had a few too many. Why don’t you let me drive you home?” That didn’t go over so well. As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

A Raymond man was arrested early Friday after hitting a friend in the parking lot of the Raymond American Legion with his vehicle and fleeing the scene, police said.

Edward Miller, 56, was charged with driving under the influence of liquor and conduct after an accident, police said.

The victim, who police found on the ground in the parking lot on Harriman Hill Road, told officers that Miller, his friend, fled the scene shortly before 12:30 a.m. Friday. The victim was taken to Exeter Hospital to be treated for what were believed to be non-life-threatening injuries.

Police said Miller allegedly attempted to leave the American Legion after consuming alcoholic beverages when he struck the victim’s vehicle, which was legally parked and unoccupied at the time. The victim had left the American Legion hall to try to stop Miller but was struck by Miller’s vehicle in the process, police said. Miller then fled, according to authorities.

Officers arrested Miller at his home, police said. Miller was released on personal recognizance bail and is scheduled to appear at Candia Circuit Court on April 7.

Um. Sorry? Here’s the source.

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

scarface.jpg

Everyone has to start somewhere. If this is any indicator, and it probably is, a life of crime is not in the cards for these blokes. As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):

The clerk at a gas station on Main Street reported a suspicious white Chevy in the parking lot. A male kept getting out of the vehicle and coming into the store to attempt to sell the clerk drugs. The passenger had been grinding up aspirin on the floor mat and attempting to sell it as cocaine.

Doh!

Squeezed on:

teacher in a bad mood

It’s one thing for a teacher to encourage a young student to eat her lunch, but this was clearly over the line. As reported by nationalpost.com (Canada):

A spoiled banana pulled from a school trash can by a teacher and handed back to a student to eat — resulting in the teacher’s suspension, a Children’s Aid investigation and the withdrawal of an Ontario family’s children from the school — marks another skirmish in the lunchroom politics of schools and daycares. The “banana incident” — as even the school is calling it — took place at École élémentaire catholique Sainte-Marie in Simcoe, Ont. An eight-year-old student says she was forced to eat a “rotten” banana the teacher had retrieved from the trash. “It had all black spots on it so I threw it out,” the girl told the Simcoe Reformer newspaper. “My teacher found it in the garbage and gave it to me. I felt like I had to eat it. I felt like I’d be in trouble if I didn’t eat it.” The girl’s mother, Jordan Stewart, said the teacher was acting like a bully and lodged complaints with the school and child protection workers.

Definitely inappropriate. But it’s not like she shoved it down her throat. Unless there is more to the story, perhaps a good talking-to would have sufficed. Here’s the source.

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

pruning%20clippers%20shears%20prune.jpg

This robber’s weapon of choice – pruning clippers. It shouldn’t come as a big surprise that the endeavor didn’t go so well. As reported by The Bellingham Herald (Washington):

Police released photos of the robbery Thursday, Aug. 30. They show the masked man walking into Starvin’ Sam’s, 1101 Iowa St.

He brandished a pair of pruning clippers with 3-inch blades, said David Kassner, the clerk working the graveyard shift at 2:50 a.m. Aug. 20. The suspect, who wore a black ski mask with eyeholes, strode toward the cash register and demanded money.

He probably didn’t know the clerk was a Vietnam vet.

“But I wouldn’t do that,” said Kassner, a retired U.S. Army staff sergeant who served in southeast Asia.

Instead the clerk backed up and grabbed a hammer-style stapler that happened to be sitting on a countertop. Employees at the service station use the stapler to tack up posters.

Oh it’s on now.

The suspect grabbed the register and tried to take the whole thing with him. Kassner swung the stapler at the man’s head. He missed his target but must have made contact, because the man “ran out real quick” clutching his wrist, Kassner said, and without any cash.

See ya.

The man was last seen running northbound on Moore Street, said Bellingham police spokesman Mark Young.

Police dogs tried to track him, but the trail quickly “evaporated” – meaning he may have hopped into a car or rode away on a bike, Young said.

Squeezed on:

junk salvage yard

Too many laws are justified, at least in part, on the grounds of promoting the morals of us citizens. Here’s a Minnesota law you can add to that list:

471.924 COUNTY REGULATION OF SECONDHAND AND JUNK DEALERS. Subdivision 1. Authority.

For the purpose of promoting the health, safety, morals, and general welfare of its residents, any county in the state may regulate the activities of secondhand and junk dealers.

How could a secondhand store or a junk dealer or a secondhand store ever be immoral? Anyone? Here’s a link to the statute.

second hand shop

 

Squeezed on:

bad idea

Everything becomes crystal clear when you’re drunk, right? You never do anything you later regret. You do? Well, this gent did too. As reported in Off The Beat (by Will Greenlee, tcpalm.com):

Michael Moore said his wife told him he’d been drinking to excess. So, Moore told Stuart police, he decided to “drive it of.”

Brilliant!

Moore made the statement around 12:35 a.m. Feb. 13 after an officer noticed his sport utility vehicle appeared to be speeding on U.S. 1, according to recently released records.

Police stopped Moore, 61, in the 800 block of Southwest U.S. 1 and reported he smelled of booze, appeared to have glassy eyes and slurred his speech.

What did he have to say for himself?

He told one officer he was coming from home and had “a couple” of drinks. He said he was en route to a bar for “a few” more.

Moore told another officer he got in an argument with his wife and left for a drive.

“He also told me that his wife told him that he (had) been drinking too much so he decided to go out and ‘drive it off,'” an arrest affidavit states.

Moore was given field sobriety exercises, and a breath test measured his blood alcohol content at 0.104 and 0.103 — greater than the 0.08 limit.

Now it all makes sense … You’ll find the source, and a mugshot, here.

Squeezed on:

coupons

Another day, another scam.  It was working pretty well until … they got caught! As reported by The Express-Times via LehighValleyLive.com:

Two coupon counterfeiters have been jailed after police in Warren County uncovered a large-scale baby supply scam that hit hundreds of stores in nine states while netting one of the men more than $250,000, authorities said.

Wenqiang Wu, 38, and Zhouxing Dong, 26, both of Brooklyn, N.Y., targeted Wal-Mart stores, passing off fake coupons for baby formula and diapers, before they were busted Sunday in Pohatcong Township, police said.

Police said charges are also pending against two others who were arrested days later at the Route 22 store in an apparently unrelated, but identical, scheme.

Wo! 250 large? That’s a lot of baby stuff.

“It’s a unique case,” Pohatcong Township police Detective Sgt. Scott Robb said today.

How it works, Robb said, is fraudsters duplicate a valid manufacturer’s coupon and alter the bar code, tricking store computers into thinking each is legitimate. The scam isn’t realized until later, when the store sends the coupons to the manufacturer for reimbursement.  In the meantime, the individual get products for free or at a significantly discounted price before reselling them.

Pretty clever. They probably should have switched products at some point, and stores! Like Wal-Mart (or any large chain) isn’t eventually going to figure it out? You can read more (a lot) here.

Squeezed on:

plausible%20deniability.jpg

There’s this thing called “plausible deniability.” “Hey, I did not know anything about that!” See if you think this gent can rely on this defense. As reported by The Guyana Chronicle:

Colin Manson, 25, of Lot 377 Turkeyen, Greater Georgetown, was remanded to prison yesterday on a drug trafficking charge.

The prosecutor said the defendant was at Ogle Airport, with an intention of going to Port Kaituma, North West District, when a bag on his back was searched by (CANU) officers and found to contain the narcotic.

Now, maybe he could argue that someone put the drugs in his backpack without his knowledge. But …

On being taken to the CANU Head Office, another search was conducted on the defendant’s person and one more package containing the illegal substance was discovered in his crotch, the prosecutor related.

Now what do you have to say?

Manson denied having knowledge of the illegal substance.

Perhaps Mr. Manson might want to consider an alternative defense?

Squeezed on:

question%20mark.jpg

In a 6-week span, this New Jersey man was charged with driving while intoxicated FOUR times! Each time, he was charged and released. As reported by The News of Cumberland County (at nj.com):

[Anderson] Sotomayor [age 45] began his alleged traffic crime spree on April 2, when Ulrich said he collided with a school bus. Though not charged with DWI for that accident, he was charged with improper passing, leaving the scene of an accident and failure to report an accident.

And then …

A week later on April 9, Officer Phillip Martinez charged him with DWI on the 300 block of Axtell Avenue after he collided with a police vehicle.

And then …

Two days later on April 11, Officer Luis Rodriguez charged him with DWI after responding to an accident during which Sotomayor had struck a utility pole by the intersection of Main Street and Landis Avenue.

Two days! And then …

Two weeks later on April 25, Officer Adam Shaw charged him with DWI and several other offenses after stopping him by the intersection of Delsea Drive and Park Avenue. He said Sotomayor was swerving and had a cold, opened 40-ounce bottle of Budweiser on the floor behind the passenger seat. Sotomayor asked Shaw to either give him a ride home or follow him home as he drove, an offer which Shaw declined.

Seems like a question only a drunk guy would ask a cop. And then …

Just over two weeks later on Saturday, May 12, officer Adam Shaw again pulled over Sotomayor on the 200 block of Grape Street. Sotomayor refused to take a breathalyzer test and was again charged with DWI. He was released on a summons pending his case in municipal court.

And finally (hopefully) …

… Sotomayor … received his fourth DWI charge on Saturday and was again released without bail, said Captain Thomas Ulrich of the Vineland police department.

And before you go getting mad at the police, they’re not pleased either.

“Bail is a matter for the Court System. The Police Department or its officers do not set bail. In this case, bail was not approved,” responded Ulrich.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated: