Squeezed on:

angel
Why would your appearance require that you are always on your best behavior, or at least on the right side of the law? The answer will soon be abundantly clear.  As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

Kenneth Dewain Parker was in an argument with a woman on Oct. 26, according to the arrest report. Parker was in an argument with the victim when he allegedly hit her in the face.

The victim also told Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies that she had bruises on her arms where Parker “forcefully grabbed her,” the report said. A witness, who had called deputies, described Parker hitting the victim.

Squeezed on:

car%20accident.jpg
While there is never a good time to be involved in a car accident, as will be made abundantly clear, some times are definitely worse than others. As reported at nj.com:

A 2002 white Mercury Mountaineer rolled over into the center grass median and struck the guardrail on July 29, with police and emergency workers responding around 12:56 p.m. Driver Paulette Murray, 48, of Brooklyn, N.Y., told police she failed to control the SUV after another car cut her off, authorities said.

Yikes, a roll over.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

no parking sign park
At some point in your time behind the wheel, you found a great parking spot and said “Wow, we couldn’t get any closer than this!” Well, you were wrong, as this gent proved. As reported by This Is Lancashire:

A driver has been arrested after his car ploughed into a pub in Bolton town centre.

The male driver of the silver discovery vehicle was arrested and led away from the scene of the crash, which occurred just after 5pm at the Dog and Partridge pub in Manor Street.

Posted in: and
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

crowbar crow bar
A crowbar? Really? The Juice wouldn’t waste your valuable time on such an ordinary crime. Maybe a stapler, a tape measure, or a soda can? Nope. You would never, never, ever guess this woman’s weapon of choice. As reported at thelocal.de:

The mother entered the store at 4.25pm and asked to buy a breast pump, police reported.

The Juice can hear the cogs slowly beginning to turn in your brain.

Squeezed on:

cavity filling tooth teeth
Unfortunately, The Juice is not referring to the kind of cavity you get in your teeth. It’s a cavity you might use to try to smuggle drugs – in this case A LOT of drugs! As reported by The Jamaica Online Star:

The court was told that on October 17, approximately 3:10 p.m., [forty-three-year-old Kevin] Peart [from Birmingham, England] was preparing to board a flight to Birmingham at the Sangster International Airport, when an officer on duty noticed that he was behaving suspiciously.

If you were “carrying” what Mr. Peart was, it would be impossible to NOT behave suspiciously.

Squeezed on:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
They wouldn’t buy this woman’s plasma the other day. And based on what she did after being rejected, she’ll be peddling her plasma elsewhere in the future. As reported by news4jax.com:

A woman is in the hospital but she soon could be heading to jail after she intentionally drove her car into a Westside plasma donation center, sending eight other people to the hospital, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.

Yikes!

Squeezed on:

security camera
Most folks know there are cameras EVERYWHERE. The US is becoming more like the UK this way with each passing day. Apparently this Florida woman is not aware of the phenomenon. Per the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office:

A Charlotte County Sheriff’s deputy arrested a Port Charlotte Target employee Tuesday after security went back through surveillance video that showed her steal cash from her register 14 times totaling $2,300. Arrested for Grand Theft was Melissa A. Sayre, 29, 11798 Van Loon Avenue, Englewood East.

14 times!

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

cell phone charger mobile
They break. They get lost. You want one for your car, your office, another room in your apartment or house.  But even in your darkest, lowest-phone-charge hour, you wouldn’t do this. As reported in the police blotter for the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) at brooklynpaper.com:

A brute beat a woman over the head and stole her cellphone charger on Bay 37th Street on Oct. 20, according to NYPD officials.

The woman was walking between 86th Street and Benson Avenue in Gravesend at 10:30 pm when the galoot ran up behind her, struck her in the back of the head, and snatched the charger from her pocket, police said.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

sonic drive in
Before you go getting up in this poor woman’s grill, take note that it is called a “drive-in”. And that’s just what she did. This is actually more common than you would think. The Juice had a case recently involving a woman who did the exact same thing, but she did a helluva lot more damage.  Anyway, as reported by The Daily News (Galveston County, Texas):

No one was hurt when a SUV smashed through the wall of the Sonic Drive-In, 1169 West Main Street, Tuesday afternoon.

Initial reports from League City police indicate that an 83-year-old woman was next door at the Popeye’s restaurant. As she was pulling out of that parking lot, she put her foot on the gas pedal instead of the break of her Honda Pilot, police said.

Posted in: and
Squeezed on:
Updated: