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Is it criminal to be incredibly rude and demeaning? If so, then this New Yorker dining out in Galveston, Texas is surely guilty. Here’s what happened, as reported in The Galveston County Daily News:

A Galveston officer was enjoying an early dinner at 4:15 p.m. Monday at Salsa’s Mexican and Seafood Restaurant, 4604 Seawall Blvd., when he overheard a conversation between a man and a woman, said Lt. D.J. Alvarez, a Galveston Police Department spokesman.

“The man said to the female, ‘I can’t believe you’re so f—— stupid,’” Alvarez said, who was reading from a police report of the incident made public Tuesday. “‘What the f— were you thinking?’”

Like I said, demeaning and rude, but criminal?

“The manager was offended by the curse words,” Alvarez said. “And the man was arrested when the manager came forward to complain about the breach of peace.”

The man was charged with a misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct, Alvarez said.

I haven’t been to Galveston, but I’m guessing that, like probably everywhere else on earth, there are more pressing problems than 2 f-bombs dropped in a restaurant. (Judge Juice says: Unidentified f-bomber, two hours with Miss Manners [Noooooooooooo!!!!!]; Lt. Alvarez, fight some real crime.)

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The Juice abhors vagueness. The European Union register of hand-luggage restrictions (which, by the way, was secret until last year!) prohibits passengers from bringing “any blunt instrument capable of causing injury” on the plane, as reported by The Austrian Times. Pretty vague right? Right, as Vienna, Austria resident Gottfried Heinrich learned the hard way.

[Mr.] Heinrich was thrown off a flight to Antalya, Turkey, at Vienna International Airport in 2005 for having his tennis rackets with him – after having already cleared general-security screening.

Thrown off the plane! Mr. Heinrich was pissed!

Heinrich was so angry that he brought a compensation case against the Austrian authorities for having failed to inform him he was carrying banned items.

And …

The Austrian court said the matter was of such great importance to all airline passengers in the European Union that it referred the case to the ECJ [European Court of Justice] in Luxembourg. After winning his case yesterday, Heinrich is now able to pursue his compensation case at a Vienna court.

Here is the ECJ’s reasoning:

… the unpublished European Union (EU) register of hand-luggage restrictions could not be enforced because passengers had no way of knowing exactly what was prohibited.

What else had passengers not not known they were not allowed to take in the cabin?

… skateboards, golf clubs and fishing rods …

Go figure. Here’s the source.

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So the police respond to a call regarding a gas station burglary. At the scene, they see old Bullock trying to hide. When told to halt, he runs – and crashes through a plate glass window. He was caught and taken to the hospital. When the cuffs were removed, and put on with his hands in front of him so he could be treated, he ran again! He was caught again, charged with unauthorized entry and simple escape, and convicted on both counts. As a multiple offender, Bullock was sentenced to 17 years at hard labor. (Shazam!) You can imagine this did not sit real well with him. Per the Court, “After the trial judge granted an oral motion for appeal and the appellate counsel was appointed, the following dialogue occurred between the trial judge and defendant:

THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you.
THE COURT: Back here.
THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you.
THE COURT: Back here, padner [sic]. Let the record reflect the defendant just told the Court twice “fuck you.”
THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you, asshole.
THE COURT: No, you, Mr. Bullock.
THE COURT: Three counts in direct contempt of court consecutive, 18 months. Do you want to go for two years?
THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you.
THE COURT: Two years direct contempt.
THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you, asshole.
THE COURT: Two years, six months.
THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you.
THE COURT: Three years consecutive contempt.
THE DEFENDANT: Fuck you, asshole.
THE COURT: Three [**13] and a half years, Mr. Bullock. Three years, six months, direct contempt of court consecutive to the 17 years the Court just gave him.
MR. JOHNSON [DEFENSE COUNSEL]: Just for the record, note an objection.
THE COURT: That will be noted also. Let’s go on the record as to James Bullock, so the Court of Appeals [sic] will know what happened. Mr. Bullock twice screamed “fuck you” to the Court after the Court had sentenced him. The Court found both to be in direct contempt and told the sheriff to escort him out of the courtroom. Mr. Bullock continued the entire way being escorted out of the courtroom, even after he was out of the courtroom before the sheriff’s [sic] could [*458] put him in a holding cell, continued to scream “fuck you” at the Court. The Court finds that each time he did this to be in direct contempt. It is six months on each one consecutive to the 17-year sentence the Court had just give [sic] him on the other charges.

Damn! Three and a half more years for that? Old Bullock appealed. What do you think the Supreme Court of Louisiana did?

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If you’re going to break into a tavern and steal 4 1/2 cases of beer, it’s not a good idea to leave YOUR LIBRARY CARD ON THE FLOOR. Yes, these are allegations, but it sure doesn’t look good for 34-year-old Kristopher Lehnhardt of Sheboygan, Wisconsin. As reported in The Sheboygan Press, according to a criminal complaint:

A bartender at Cozy Bar, 116 E. Mill St., called police about 2:30 a.m. Feb. 22 after discovering lights on, a cooler open and a window screen cut in the basement.

She also found Lehnhardt’s Mead Public Library card on the floor by a door, where it appeared to have been used in an attempt to unlock the door.

Missing were four cases of Miller Lite and six cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.

I think the real story is that someone actually stole PBR. Anyway, so just the library card? Anything else? Um. Yeah.

A friend of Lehnhardt’s told police Lehnhardt admitted taking the beer and putting it outside to pick it up later.

Thanks, “friend.” Mr. Lehnhardt “could face up to 18 months in jail, if convicted on misdemeanor counts of theft and property damage.”

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What else would you put in a mail slot on a door other than a letter? A penis, or course. Such was the case with Mr. Bryan Owens. And it wasn’t easy. As reported in The Sun:

Prosecutor Paul Caulfield said: “He had adapted the draft excluder to make a hole wide enough for him to stick his penis through so others could see it.

Owens was originally cautioned for the offence last September when a woman spotted him flashing his member on her way to work.

Despite the warning he was then collared doing the same thing a month later.

The defense? None. Mr. Owens pleaded guilty. Said the judge: “You have clearly got a problem which you need to overcome.” Indeed. The sentence was two years of supervision and five years on the sex offender registry. Here’s the source.

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Judge Paul Cosgrove was already having a bad day. He was at a meeting of the full Canadian Judicial Council, trying to keep his job. (A panel of 5 judges had voted 4-1 to remove him.) And at that meeting (per the Globe and Mail) …

Adding to Judge Cosgrove’s woes, security was so lax at the Council meeting that a man who managed to plant himself in front of him at one point interrupted the hearing to angrily serve Judge Cosgrove with what he claimed were legal papers.

The man quickly slipped out of the room after calling Judge Cosgrove, “you mother-fucker.”

Think maybe the Judge was proving to be difficult to serve?

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Son of a biscuit! She did crash that funeral. As reported by FoxCarolina.com:

According to a[n] incident report, Nicole Leonard walked into the church while the funeral was going on and started dancing near the casket.

Sure, that’s weird, but read on.

The report said that Leonard then started waving a wand around the casket before opening it and laying her hands on the deceased. Leonard then started tapping the deceased man’s head with the wand, which was described as a car antenna.

You might be wondering, as I did, what her connection was to the deceased. None!

“(It’s) kind of ironic and weird in its own right, especially for someone with no connection to the family or the deceased in any way that we can find,” [Laurens County Sheriff Ricky] Chastain said. [He happened to be at the funeral.] “(She) just picked this funeral at random to stop in and do what she did.”

Surely Ms. Leonard can clear this up.

According to the incident report, when Leonard was asked why she did it, she said that she thought it was the right thing to do at the time.

See? It all makes sense. (She was charged with “disrupting a funeral.”)

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No offense (really) to the kid who started all of this “no cussing” stuff (notice I didn’t say “shit” – doh!), but really, are words in and of themselves “bad?” Has the word “shit,” by itself, ever hurt anyone? What about “You’re fat” or “You’re ugly” or “You’re stupid?”
Off my soapbox, and on to Mr. Anthony Ruano, who probably wishes I were King. Seems that young Mr. Ruano (age 18) had an argument with his dad, then headed across the street, spray paint in hand. On the wall of the building facing his dad’s house, he wrote a 7-foot-long message – “Fuck You.” Unfortunately for Mr. Ruano, that building WAS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

As luck (bad) would have it, Mr. Ruano chose to do this during Los Angeles County’s “No Cussing Week.” Per The Contra Costa Times,

Ruano finds himself prosecuted under a City Attorney’s Office plan to work to improve safety and security at the city’s school campuses….

[He] was charged with one count of vandalism and could go to jail for a year and pay up to $10,000 in fines if convicted.

It’s pathetic, but props to The Contra Costa Times for at least saying the graffiti rhymed with “Muck
Goo,” placing it one notch above the legions of “expletive deleted” censors.

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Is it just me (it often is), or is it a little strange for a couple to exchange cell phone videos of their genitals? Because that was Christopher Walker’s explanation for sending a cell phone video of his genitals to … not his girlfriend! Doh! Per the BBC:

When interviewed, Walker said he had been off work and and been drinking when he tried to send the call to his girlfriend, but had got the number wrong.

He said the footage of his genitals was meant for his partner …

Hmm. Wouldn’t his girlfriend’s number be in his contacts, so he wouldn’t need to dial it? Although he got probation, Mr. Walker will be a registered sex offender for 3 years, and must attend a community sex offender’s group program. Here’s the source. For a few more cell phone stories, click here.

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Generally, The Juice is not inclined to prejudge a pending action, but, IMHO, THERE IS NO WAY THIS WOMAN SLEPT THROUGH THIS! NFW. As reported by the Chicago Tribune:

A Buffalo Grove woman is accused of allowing an underage drinking party in her home after her son and 17 other teenagers were cited over the weekend for unlawful possession and consumption of alcohol, police said Monday.

17 other teenagers! But wait …

Police officers went to the house in response to reports of loud music and people yelling about 3:20 a.m. Sunday, Husak said. The teenagers, ranging in age from 16 to 19, were given breath tests at the scene and cited for violating a village underage drinking ordinance …

It was so loud somebody called the cops!

Margaret Couch, 46, told officers who were called to her home in the 200 block of Cottonwood Road that she was sleeping and unaware of the party, said Buffalo Grove Police Cmdr. Steve Husak. Couch was cited for violating a Buffalo Grove nuisance ordinance.

No! Sleeping? That’s the best you can do? How about “What was that, sonny? I’m a little hard of hearing.” Or “I thought it was that ‘non-alcoholic’ beer.”