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It can’t feel good to be dumped. (Like The Juice would know?) But surely it must be better than having your penis nearly bitten off? The question could be posed to a 56-year-old Belgian man who has some serious teeth marks on his … Per The West Australian:

A Thai woman bit her Belgian boyfriend’s penis out of jealousy during sex, but doctors managed to save the nearly-severed organ, police and reports said today.

“We still don’t know the identity of the suspect or whether he wants her to be prosecuted,” police Lieutenant Colonel Norwich Chulavanich said.

Local media reported that the pair quarrelled after she learned the Belgian man was having an affair with another Thai woman.

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There might be a webcam on you … right now. There’s definitely one on Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park, as 6 trespassers found out. Some folks watching it online saw them leave the boardwalk, and saw 2 of them urinate on Old Faithful! They called park rangers, and the suspects were rounded up, as reported by redgreenandblue.org. (Click on the link for the webcam photos.) What happened to them? Per the AP,

Two seasonal Yellowstone National Park concession workers [at the Old Faithful Inn] have been fired after a live webcam caught them urinating into the Old Faithful geyser.

Park spokesman Al Nash says a 23-year-old man on Tuesday was fined $750 and placed on three years of unsupervised probation for urinating, being off trail in a restricted area and taking items from the area. The man also was banned from Yellowstone for two years.

The second employee’s case is pending.

The geyser was not erupting at the time.

If it was, that likely would have been punishment enough …

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I immediately thought of “Fight Club” when I read this story. As reported by Forbes.com:

For a time, Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend’s Lincoln Navigator.

Quoting Fawn Leibowitz’s “Animal House” friends, “Ewwwwww!” But is it legal?

Using fat to fuel cars might be environmentally friendly, but it’s definitely illegal in California to use human medical waste to power vehicles, and Bittner is being investigated by the state’s public health department.

To read more (a fair amount) click here. (One guess – What is the main ingredient in the soap in “Fight Club”?)

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For the sake of argument, let’s say you have, oh, roughly 296 marijuana plants growing in your basement. The police come to your door, asking if they can search your house. You say … yes? You do if you are Nathan King, Jr. of Kanawha County, West Virginia. Shockingly, Mr. King was arrested and charged with cultivating marijuana, as reported by wsaz.com. Dude!

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This is a lesson that a Unity College (Maine) student learned the hard way. After school is over, and your cleaning out your room, MAKE SURE TO TAKE YOUR MARIJUANA PLANTS WITH YOU! Per the Portland Press Herald:

Unity College held its graduation ceremonies Saturday. Security guards on Sunday were checking dorm rooms to make sure they were emptied when they discovered the plants in plastic containers around 7:47 p.m., police said.

Annica D. McGuirk, 19, of Cabot, Ark., has been charged with cultivation of marijuana, and sale and use of marijuana … according to the Waldo County Sheriff’s Office.

If you’re one of those folks who goes through a hotel room or wherever for a final sweep, and you get derided for it, take some comfort knowing that you would have seen those pot plants, and had a much better summer than the one that awaits Ms. McGuirk.

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Okay, so it would be his 8th strike. But really, do you want to send a 31-year-old man away for life for stealing a laptop and a tv? As reported by kfor.com:

Brew is always on the move at Pope Distributing in Enid, but beer wasn’t what was on tap for a couple of criminals who recently paid Pope’s an unwelcome visit and stole a television and laptop computer.

Officers arrested 31-year-old Conan Carson, who is now charged with second-degree burglary. Come to find, he has seven previous felony convictions and because of his lengthy criminal history, Carson could face life behind bars.

Life! Here’s the source.

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They must really need dermatologists in Edmonton. Either that or perhaps they make it a practice to coddle offending doctors. Dr. Paul Lubitz had sex with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR of his patients. Really, should this guy be practicing medicine? [No!] He is, after serving an 18-month suspension.

And check out this comment from a website with consumer comments on health care providers [it’s the 3/20/08 entry]:

I am a former staff member of Dr.Lubitz. I was terminated, along with all the other staff, when he “Fell ill”. NONE of us were given our vacation pay or severance and were told we would have to sue if we wanted it! I can also tell you that he wrote the reviews on this page on 6/7/07 – the first listed one, and 6/6/07 – the positive review! I saw him do it. He is not a nice man, and always treated his staff horribly. He only cares about himself!

Zoinks!

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Even if this is technically a crime (like you never speed!), what kind of person would report this? Very uncool. The guy wasn’t hurting anybody. As reported by The Republican-American:

A man from Stonington faces public indecency charges after state police said he was driving nude on Interstate 84 on Wednesday morning. Police arrested Seth Roberts, 30, of 1 Minor St., at about 10:50 a.m. Roberts also was charged with breach of peace.

I’m always looking for positives, so consider this: he wasn’t drunk! And apparently he wasn’t speeding either! I’ll take a safe, nude driver over a clothed, unsafe one every time.

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One would think it goes without saying that perhaps the first rule of robbing a bank (other than not getting caught at the scene) is to not allow yourself to be identified, be it by a surveillance camera, fingerprints, a wallet … A wallet? Yes, Albert Vincent Perkins allegedly robbed a bank in Kansas City, and left his wallet behind, with his driver’s license in it! Per the AP:

The U.S. attorney’s office said the teller and a customer in the bank identified the photo on the driver’s license and another photo in the wallet as the robber. Perkins was arrested Thursday night. Police say he took about $3,100.

Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!

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No, it’s not the “give us cash to protect yourself from us” kind of protection. Without even being there, Chuck Norris has singlehandedly ended a series of break-ins at a bakery in Split, Croatia. From the Croatian Times:

Store bosses have seen off burglars by placing a life-sized photo of Hollywood action star Chuck Norris in the window.

The posh bakery shop in Split, Croatia, had often been broken until they put up the poster of the karate champ with a sign saying: “This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris.”

Now the bakery hasn’t had a single burglary for more than a month. “People seem to respect him,” said a sales assistant.

Don’t mess with Chuck Norris.

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