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You did. You just jacked that little girl’s Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida’s nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.

How’d they get caught?

Notified of the theft by an in-law, the victim offered to not go to the police if the thief would return the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep within 24 hours.

A nice offer but …

The Barbie Power Wheel Jeep had already been sold, according to the police report.

So …

The victim went to the police.

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Uncool
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All couples have disagreements. Fortunately, most folks don’t handle them the way this Sioux Falls, South Dakota couple did. Here’s what went down, as reported by The Argus Leader (per the police):

Edward Martin Lopez Jr. and Russett Lynn Cantrell, both 27, began to argue at their home … early Sunday morning.

Mr. Lopez struck Ms. Cantrell.

Ms. Cantrell then chased Mr. Lopez around the house, throwing things at him.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Lopez left.

Mr. Lopez returned, and allegedly tried to hit Ms. Cantrell with the car.

In response, Ms. Cantrell then grabbed a rake and swung it at the car, then continued to swing it at Mr. Lopez as he got out of the vehicle brandishing the painter’s pole.

What about the knife?

A witness called police after Cantrell went into the house for a knife then came after Lopez with it …allegedly stabbing at the car as he drove away again.

So the police came. After all that, guess who wanted to press charges? Neither of them! To no avail, though.

Lopez was pulled over near the house and charged with aggravated assault and DUI. Cantrell was charged with aggravated assault.

HT: Juice fan who [understandably!] wishes to remain anonymous.

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You’re thinking “of course.” Like most things in life, though, it’s not that simple. Or … is it? Dude got married in Pennsylvania, and years later married his girlfriend in Nevada. Pennsylvania charged him with bigamy, and got a conviction.

Not so fast, said Mr. Seiders. I got married in Nevada, not in Pennsylvania. So, even if I did commit bigamy, it was in Nevada, not here. Case dismissed!

What does the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania think of this argument? Not so much. Being married, it says, is conduct that occurred in Pennsylvania. Case closed!

So who won? Mr. Seiders. Said the Court:

The crime of bigamy, under section 4301, is committed at the time when and in the place where the second marriage is contracted or purported to be contracted.

Sentence reversed! Appellant (Mr. Seiders) discharged! The case is Commonwealth v. Seiders (2010 PA Super 194), which you can read here.

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A police officer who stepped up in a Fortitude Valley freestyle rap battle has become a cult hit on YouTube, as reported by The Courier-Mail.

The clip shows the officer being taunted by local rapper Fluence, who risks arrest for obscenity and public nuisance with a line about “makin’ bacon”.

Instead of whipping out the cuffs, Constable Jay pulls out a put-down – referring to his adversary “downloading gay porn and watching it in slow-mo”. The crowd erupts. Constable Jay then quells the uproar with a plea to “not cause too much of a ruckus”. Constable Jay has since earned the nickname “Slim Shady” from his fellow officers.

Here it is:


Constable Jay may have a new career …

And Real Talk Battles League president Dennyson Willoughby has invited him to participate in a police versus citizens “battle” fundraiser at the PCYC. “Honestly, I’ve had run-ins with officers and I’ve never met one so cool,” Mr Willougby said.

“He just basically stood there, took it with a grain of salt, gave back his two cents and before it got out of hand, said: ‘Oi, oi, calm down’.

“He’s obviously got skills. Not only did his rhyme make sense, and it was an effective punchline, but he actually fed off of Fluence’s rhyme scheme, rhyming ‘low-low’ and ‘po po’ with ‘hobo’ and ‘slo-mo’.

“It was a pure, quality, 100 per cent battle-style rebuttal – which came from a cop… which was unexpected.”

Here’s the source.

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Sure, getting kicked there hurts. How about getting shot there?

A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.

Police said the 17-year-old, whose name is being withheld because he’s a minor, walked into Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center at about 5:45 p.m. with a gunshot wound.

The gun is still outstanding, police said, and the teen has not been cooperative.

Cooperation is probably not at the forefront of this kid’s mind right now… Source: The Oakland Tribune/Times-Herald

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Now, dear, don’t be … oh my! He is driving backwards – down the highway! As reported by tdn.com (Washington State):

Police arrested a driver Thursday night who was cruising along Interstate 5 — in reverse.

The 41-year-old man drove at least three miles backward on Interstate 5 before his arrest around 8:30 p.m. Thursday, Cowlitz County Sheriff’s deputy Ryan Cruser said.

Holy shiznit! 3 miles in reverse? That’s some serious talent right there.

Police said they saw the man laughing as they approached the vehicle, which came to a stop in the middle of three northbound lanes at milepost 55 — not far from a rest area by the Cowlitz County-Lewis County border, according to Cruser.

The man refused to roll down his windows when police approached his rented 2009 Dodge Avenger, Cruser said. Police broke the window to arrest him.

Wait. Don’t ta ….zzzzzzzzzz

Deputies used a Taser to subdue the driver when he began to struggle during the arrest, said Sgt. Blair Schmidt with the Washington State Patrol.

Alcohol and drugs are not believed to be a factor in the incident, Cruser said. Police plan to have the driver, a resident of Canada whose name wasn’t released, evaluated for possible mental problems.

Perhaps mad, definitely mad skills

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You’ve been on the lam for 12 years. Is Facebook really a good idea? In a word: NO! And even if you are bold enough to do this, would you name the town where you’re working? Especially if it’s a really, really small town? Well, Robert Lewis Crose named the town (Cut Bank), and he got busted. As reported in The Independent Record (Helena, Montana):

A man who absconded from parole in California 12 years ago after shooting a man has been arrested in Cut Bank, where authorities say he’s been working harvests for a decade.

Sgt. Tom Siefert of the Glacier County Sheriff’s Office said a fugitive task force in California learned Robert Lewis Crose, 47, was working in the Cut Bank area from updates to Crose’s Facebook page.

He was on parole following prison for a 1996 incident in Ventura, Calif., in which Crose, then the owner of an appliance store, used a shotgun to fend off an intruder armed with a rubber hose, according to reports from the Los Angeles Times.

He was convicted of making a terrorist threat and another gun violation, served less than a year in prison before being released on parole, had his parole revoked, and was paroled again in October 1998.

California authorities sent pictures of Crose to Montana, which police and deputies handed out around town Friday. Saturday around 11:30 a.m., they got a call saying Crose was in a local casino, where he was arrested without incident.

Damn you Zuckerberg!

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It’s not like Ms. McCollister (of Garnerville, Nevada) just gave her son the keys and said “drive.” She had him sit on her lap! How drunk was she? .299! To put that in context, having simply read a BAC that high, you should be buzzed. How did Ms. McCollister get to this point? As reported by The Record-Courier:

McCollister told District Judge Dave Gamble on Tuesday that she had been drinking all that weekend. She said she invited an acquaintance to stay at her home because she was in the process of obtaining a temporary restraining order against her husband and she was afraid to be alone.

“He (the houseguest) kept pressuring me to take him home. He drove himself home, and we were in the car. I was pretty much passed out all the way. He pulled into his driveway and just left us there. There was another lady with us, but she didn’t have her glasses, so she refused to drive. I had my son get on my lap and drive us,” McCollister said.

Other than lying, there may be nothing judges despise more than the failure to accept responsibility for your actions. Judge Gamble is no exception:

“You just gave me the identities of three or four people whose fault this was, and none of it was yours,” Gamble said. “As long as you think this was anyone else’s fault but yours, I have no reason to show any leniency toward you, and you’ll get no good out of this.

“All that conspired from your perspective to force you to commit felony child abuse. That’s nonsense,” Gamble said. “Next time you’re in here, I hope I don’t hear a pocketful of excuses for the absolute evilness and irrationality of putting your son on your lap while you’re drunk and driving you home.”

And if you’re wondering how she got caught, not surprisingly, it turns out a 12-year-old drives a lot like a drunkard.

She was arrested Oct. 17 near the intersection of El Dorado Drive and Village Way in Gardnerville after a Douglas County reserve deputy reported seeing a brown Buick headed north on Highway 395 weaving in and out of the travel lane and varying its speed.

The witness said he passed the vehicle and saw a child in the driver’s seat. According to the sheriff’s report, he and a deputy contacted McCollister after the vehicle stopped near her residence.

So what is she looking at? … up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine at her Dec. 14 sentencing [after pleading guilty to attempted child abuse or neglect]. And if the situation wasn’t bad enough …

A woman and a 7-year-old child also were in the vehicle.

And …

McCollister is to appear Jan. 5 in East Fork Justice Court for sentencing on a second conviction of driving under the influence to which she plead guilty Oct. 20.

It’s not that The Juice is unsympathetic to this woman’s problem with alcohol. It’s just that there is no excuse for putting the lives of your child and others in jeopardy. Here’s the source.

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So says Green Tree [Pennsylvania] Council President Mark Sampogna. As reported in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

Green Tree officials said they will not pursue any disciplinary action against police Chief Andrew Lisiecki for his conduct while on prostitution detail last month.

In the letter to Pittsburgh Police Chief Nate Harper and the Allegheny County Chiefs of Police Association, District Attorney Stephen A. Zappala Jr. said the Pennsylvania court determined that it is not necessarily inappropriate for police officers to take off their clothes during such investigations.

Media reports and a criminal complaint revealed that the chief allegedly took off his clothes during an undercover investigation during a sting operation on Sept. 9 at the Radisson Green Tree.

Oh the humanity! The poor man had to get naked in bed with a woman! We already know who to blame for this.

“The fact is that the prostitutes are extremely aware of the laws and know precisely how to avoid arrest” [said Mr. Sampogna].

“What is required for an arrest and conviction is an overt act that unfortunately may require the officer to disrobe. As distasteful as this may seem, the judicial system has created these levels of proof,” he said.

What’s distasteful is the imposition of one’s morals on others. But hey, it’s the law. So violate it at your peril. The more relevant law though? The law of supply and demand. Here’s the source.

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Is it really a good idea to let someone tattoo your back after you’ve had an argument with him? Um, NO, as a 25-year-old Australian man learned the hard way. The tattoo was supposed to be a yin yang symbol with dragons. As reported by The Courier Mail:

A 21-year-old man has been charged by police in Ipswich for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man’s back – instead of the image he had requested.


The 25-year-old victim had been visiting the man, an amateur tattooist, at his home in Bundamba last Wednesday when he was talked into getting a tattoo.

He wanted a yin and yang symbol with some dragons, but was instead shocked to discover the 40cm [almost 16 inches!] tattoo was of a penis with an obscene slogan.

The key word in the slogan was also misspelled.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

The man now faces considerable cost [and pain?] to have the image removed.

Police said the tattooing followed an argument between the men, during which the tattooist allegedly took offence at something the other man said.

The victim has also alleged he was punched and thrown out of the house following the tattooing.

All-in-all, not a good night for the vic. What about the perp? Any charges?

The 21-year-old is due to appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15 charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.

Here’s the source.