Squeezed on:

gun%20pointed%20at%20you%20in%20your%20face%20aim%20aimed.jpg

You’re never going to get rich robbing convenience stores, especially this way. In hindsight, it’s funny. In all other sights, it’s just dumb. Risking getting killed for what’s in a 7-Eleven till? Here’s the skinny, from the San Diego Union-Tribune:

The 20-something suspect entered the 7-Eleven on Gateway Drive near Home Avenue in the San Diego community of Webster about 4:30 p.m., pointed a gun at the woman staffing the cash register and demanded money, police said. But the clerk indicated to the suspect that she could not understand his demand and refused to hand over any money, according to police.

The would-be robber exited the building and drove away in a late-model green Ford sedan. A detailed description was not available.

Squeezed on:

evidence.jpg

If you’re a cornered criminal, sometimes just taking off is your best bet. But if you’re going to do that, it’s best not to leave any evidence behind. As reported in The Naples Daily News:

Cory L. Dalton had some simple advice for his mother, Lori Lynn Larocque, when Collier County sheriff’s deputies say they were caught shoplifting from a Kmart in June: “Run, ma, run.”

Remember what The Juice said about the evidence?

Dalton and his mother did run, and got away temporarily. But Larocque left her debit card behind, and on Tuesday investigators located them at Dalton’s home and arrested them.

I thought you had it! Uh-uh. I thought you had it!

Both Dalton, 19, of the 4500 block of Coral Palm Lane, Golden Gate Estates, and Larocque, 38, of the 8900 block of Bonita Beach Road, Bonita Springs, were charged with petty theft. Dalton was also arrested on a warrant for failure to appear in court on a marijuana possession charge.

And in case the cops needed more evidence …

Surveillance video showed a distinctive tattoo on Larocque’s arm. That tattoo was clearly visible when she was located.

Doh! Here’s the source, including photos.

Posted in: Oops
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

Doctor%20bad%20evil%20sex%20patient%20with.jpg

How does this doctor get away with just losing his license and getting fined? The conduct seems criminal to The Juice. What do you think? Per the Winnipeg Free Press:

In what college officials called “an egregious breach” of ethics in their written decision, a Beausejour doctor has been barred from practicing after having a sexual relationship with a mentally unstable patient.

David Corder treated an unnamed woman for five years in the early 1990s. During that time, the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Manitoba found Corder had questionable boundary issues with the patient, had prescribed numerous drugs and failed to properly chart her treatment.

The woman was suicidal, depressed, addicted to prescription drugs and suffered numerous mental health issues, making her particularly vulnerable, the College noted in a recent decision.

It was in 1995 and 1996 that the relationship turned sexual and exploitative.

“He victimized Ms. X,” wrote the College. “He used her, abused her trust.”

Think that might be a bit of an understatement?

In the same decision the college also noted Corder also had an inappropriate — but not sexual — relationship with a second female patient to whom he prescribed potentially addictive drugs.

You already know the punishment:

The College’s discipline committee revoked Corder’s registration and medical licence and demanded $20,000 in costs.

Really?

Squeezed on:

sickle.gif

Of course, if you don’t mind having your head handed to you … As reported in The South Asian Post:

A woman chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said. Police arrested the woman late on Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses, said police officer Ram Bharose. The woman, 35, told police she had gone to a nearby forest to cut grass for fodder for her cattle when a man attacked her from behind. ”In a bid to save her dignity she beheaded him with a sickle,” Bharose said, adding that the woman had bite marks on her neck and cheek.

Safe to say she’s unlikely to be attacked again …

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

chinese%20food%20container%20carry%20out%20take%20out.jpg

Everyone – okay almost everyone – knows that Chinese food comes in those little cardboard containers with the little wire handle. So what was Mr. Edward Ridley of Cordele, Georgia thinking when he tried to smuggle some pot to an inmate in Chinese food in a styrofoam container? Needless to say, the guards were suspicious. As reported by the Dothan Eagle (Alabama):

Court records show deputies arrested Edward Ridley, 41, of Cordele, Ga., and charged him Saturday with felony promoting prison contraband. Records show Ridley apparently entered the Pike County Jail with a styrofoam container with Chinese food inside, including rice and shrimp, for inmate Vincent Thomas. A jailer at the facility used a fork to search the food and found a bag of marijuana.

Things went south from there.

If convicted of the class C felony charge, promoting prison contraband, Ridley faces one to 10 years in prison. He was being held in the Pike County Jail on a $7,500 bond.

Doh!

Squeezed on:

cockatoo.jpg

When is a $15,000 cockatoo not worth $15,000 (12,000 euros)? When it doesn’t fly right, of course. And how would a judge make that call? By watching it fly, naturally. Per The Scotsman:

A cockatoo has been made to fly in front of an Austrian judge to try to identify whether it is lopsided in flight and, therefore, not worth the €12,000 (£9,943) its owner paid for it.

The Danish owner is claiming that the bird cannot fly properly because of chronic gout and is demanding his money back from the Austrian seller through the courts.

The owner told the court: “When the cockatoo flies around all crooked, it’s worthless.”

The cockatoo took its test flight in a hall in front of the judge and a vet.

Exciting stuff no? So does the bird fly right? Not so fast…

A report on the bird’s health is expected to be produced in three to four months.

Damn you slow wheels of justice!

Squeezed on:

furniture%20junk%20stuff%20pile.jpg

Say your neighbor has a trailer in the parking lot with a bunch of furniture in it. You’re tired of looking at it, but what to do? In a word … Craigslist! Yeah, sure, technically (and in ever other way) it’s not yours. Carpe diem, right Ms. Kimball? Per the Tampa Tribune:

The 29-year-old resident of Chelsea Meadows apartments got sick of looking at a trailer loaded with furniture in the complex parking lot, Pasco County deputies say.

So she took matters into her own hands by taking a picture of it and posting an advertisement on Craigslist, deputies say.

I doubt Craig was pleased.

“Come get this trailer, attach it to your car and get it out of here,” it read. “I’m tired of looking at it, and I have no idea what to do with it. You must take couches and dresser too either keep them or dispose of them, just get them out of here! Thank you! No need to email or call just come get it,” it stated. The ad continued with specific directions to the complex. “The trailer is sitting in the parking lot ready to be attached to the car and take. I will delete this post when it is gone. Thank you!”

And?

[The trailer owner’s fiancee – actually it belongs to his dad] Jennifer Lepage, … was home when someone knocked on the door looking for the free trailer. She said it wasn’t free and looked outside and saw it had vanished, Andrews said.

Snap! And Ms. Kimball almost pulled it off.

At some point, another person came over looking for the freebie and had the printed advertisement in hand and waited for deputies to arrive.

“If he had not had printed it out, I would have had no way of proving to the deputy that it was on Craigslist because by that time it had been deleted,” Andrews said.

The charges?

… deputies arrested Vanessa Kimball, 29, on a charge of grand theft.

The trailer? The furniture? …

By the next day, according to a sheriff’s office report … the [now damaged] trailer reappeared – still loaded with the furniture – at the end of the complex’s driveway …

Click here for the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Posted in: Uncool
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

drunk%20funny%20passed%20out%20urinal%20wasted%20inebriated.jpg

You’ve occasionally had one too many. Admit it. But perhaps not as many as a San Diego, California man recently did, as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune.

A Pacific Beach man had a surprise waiting for him in his living room Sunday morning: a stranger sleeping naked on his couch.

And just in case you need another reason to lock your doors …

The naked man had mistakenly arrived at the condominium after a night of drinking, inexplicably took off his clothes on the porch and entered the unlocked front door, San Diego Police Lt. Jim Filley said.

After discovering the disrobed interloper around 7:30 a.m., the homeowner went back upstairs to his bedroom, armed himself and told his wife to call 911, Filley said.

“This gentleman thought he had been walking into his own home, which is in Mission Valley” nearly 20 miles away, the officer said. “We think it was an honest mistake.”

The homeowner declined to press trespassing charges against the intruder.

“He was sober, so he got dressed and went on his way,” Filley said.

Here The Juice was getting ready to holler about getting a gun out to deal with a naked guy, and the gunslinger goes and does the right thing. Well done, sir.

Posted in: Oops
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

rhyme.jpg

It was the night of January 30, 1974, when a young woman, who shall remain nameless, was arrested for prostitution. Having solicited a police officer (doh!), she sought a sentence of probation. Magistrate Judge Richard J. Rome complied. Unfortunately, he also issued the following Memorandum Decision:

This is the saga of ___ ___ ___,
Whose ancient profession brings her before us.
On January 30th, 1974,
This lass agreed to work as a whore.

Her great mistake, as was to unfold,
Was the enticing of a cop named Harold.
Unknown to ___, this officer, surnamed Harris,
Was duty-bent on ___’s lot to embarrass.

At the Brass Rail they met,
And for twenty dollars the trick was all set.
In separate cars they did pursue,
To the sensuous apartment of ___ ___.

Bound for her bed she spared not a minute,
Followed by Harris with his heart not in it!
As she prepared to repose there in her bay,
She was arrested by Harris, to her great dismay!

Off to the jailhouse poor ___ was taken,
Printed and mugged, her confidence shaken.
Formally charged by this great State,
With offering to Harris to fornicate.
Her arraignment was formal, then back to jail,
And quick as a flash she was admitted to bail.
On February 26, 1974,
The State of Kansas tried this young whore.
A prosecutor named Brown,
Represented the Crown.

___ ___, her freedom in danger,
Was being defended by a chap named Granger.
Testimony was presented and arguments heard,
Poor ___ waited for the Judge’s last word.

The finding was guilty, with no great alarm,
And ___ was sentenced to the Women’s State Farm.
An appeal was taken, to a higher court ___ went,
The thousand dollar fine was added to imprisonment.

Trial was set in this higher court,
But the route of appeal ___ chose to abort.
And back to Judge Rome, came this lady of the night,
To plead for her freedom and end this great fight.

So under advisement ___’s freedom was taken,
And in the bastille this lady did waken.
The judge showed mercy and ___ was free,
But back to the street she could not flee.

The fine she’d pay while out on parole,
But not from men she used to cajole.
From her ancient profession she’d been busted,
And to society’s rules she must be adjusted.

If from all of this a moral doth unfurl,
It is that Pimps do not protect the working girl!

The matter was brought to the attention of the Commission on Judicial Qualifications to determine if Judge Rome violated the Code of Judicial Conduct. What do you think they decided?

—–

Continue reading →

Squeezed on:

sign%20wacky%20crazy%20silly%20dumb%20stupid.jpg

If the wacky law isn’t bothering you, why bother the wacky law? Maybe to look like you are doing something? In any event, as reported by The Edinburgh Evening News:

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has launched a drive to banish both types, inviting people across the UK to nominate needless laws and excessive regulations which should be ditched.

Any examples?

Failing to report grey squirrels in your garden, it turns out, is illegal. So is being drunk in charge of a cow.

Fans of mince pies, though, should count their blessings that they don’t live south of the Border, as eating the sweet treats on Christmas Day is still banned in England under a law brought in by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th century.

More? Okay.

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen’s image upside-down.

A law passed in 1313 makes it illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour. Bizarrely, it is also illegal to die there – allegedly because anyone who dies in parliament is technically entitled to a state funeral and the authorities once wanted to guard against such potential expense.

And if you have to go to the bathroom …

… a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants …

But …

It is apparently legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

There is also seemingly a law that if someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

Good to know, that last one. Here are a few more:

It appears still to be illegal to stand within 100 yards of a ruling monarch if you are not wearing any socks.

It is also against the law to allow your pet to fornicate with any pet of the royal household.

Okay, so why bother?

Mr Clegg believes letting dormant laws accumulate on the statute book sends out the “wrong signal”.

Really? The Juice feels otherwise, and agrees with Professor Kenneth Norrie, head of the law school at Strathclyde University.

“When I heard about this initiative, it struck me it was a bit of a wasted exercise,” he says. “Civil servants will be able to advise ministers which laws are causing a nuisance by being there.”

Hear, hear. Here’s the source.