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There’s not enough money in the world … Per The Courier & Mail:

French police say they have arrested a 63-year-old woman who was leading her 40-year-old companion along a busy shopping street by a leash attached to his exposed penis.

The couple were detained on Wednesday afternoon in the southwestern city of Carcassonne and were due to appear in court in April on charges of public indecency.

The couple admitted to being sex addicts and said they were in the middle of a game when arrested, police said on Thursday.

Only in France (until The Juice hears otherwise). And if you do hear otherwise, let The Juice know so he can create a new category (e.g. “Say What?“, “Just Weird“, “Odd Cases“) …

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Crime must be down in Strathclyde (Scotland). Why? Because police there apparently have nothing better to do than to give a man a ticket for blowing his nose! And his car was stopped! As reported by Sky News:

Michael Mancini had stopped his van in traffic and wiped his nose with a handkerchief.

When he moved off, he was pulled over by police who told him he had not been in control of his vehicle.

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It was not a good night for this young lady, who will most likely be looking for a new boyfriend. As reported by the Colorado Springs Police Department:

February 10, 2011 Time: 2:28:00 AM Division: Stetson Hills Title: Disturbance

Summary: Officers were sent to a residential area in close proximity to Sand Creek High School, to investigate a domestic disturbance. A couple had gone to a downtown nightclub and had a good time partying together. On the way home, it turned sour and resulted in the 22 year old male striking his 22 year old girlfriend several times while she drove home.

They continued their trip home while still arguing, the male grabbed the steering wheel causing the demise of the vehicle in which they were traveling. The 2009 Ford Sedan struck a tree, causing extensive damage and minor injury with the deployment of both front air bags.

The male fled the scene, but not before stealing his girlfriends purse. He was apprehended after an extensive search of the area by officers about a mile and a half from the scene. He was made to post bond on the charges of Theft from a Person (Felony) and three Misdemeanors; Reckless Endangerment, Third Degree Assault, and Harassment. Alcohol was a factor with all aspects of this event.

Hmmm. Smacked her a bunch of times while she was driving, caused them to crash into a tree, stole her purse, and then ditched her at 2:30 a.m. Not cool.

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If this dude is a sports fan, here’s guessing that his favorite cliche is the one about running a successful play over and over until the opposing team stops it. Now, It may be useful in sports, but in crime? Not so much. Especially crimes against property … As reported in The Spectator [Hamilton, Ontario]:

Police had staked out a Subway restaurant on Lake Street Tuesday that’s been robbed three times before, when a man robbed the Esso gas bar next door at Scott Street.

The suspect was nabbed with the cash running from the gas bar. Turns out, detectives say the man is the same one who’s hit the Subway so often.

A 38-year-old St. Catharines man has been charged with four counts of robbery and was scheduled to appear in St. Catharines court Wednesday.

In his defense, at least it was a neighboring establishment … You can find the source here.

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If you have a son, or know someone who has a son, or have even a tenuous connection to popular culture, then you know how many young males play Xbox LIVE. (It allows gamers to play with other gamers, online, and to talk with each other.) So, why did The Juice warn you not to let your son read this? As reported by wbaltv.com:

Police said a California woman was arrested Friday after she allegedly befriended a 13-year-old Maryland boy on the Internet and traveled to his home to have sex.

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The Juice is confident this kid wishes he was just playing with matches and burned himself. Why? Because, while playing with a gun, he shot himself in the … As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

An Orlando teen begged police to call an ambulance late Saturday after shooting himself in the testicles, according to police reports.

“I shot myself by accident,” the 17-year-old boy said. “Get an ambulance.”

Yikes. And how exactly did you do that?

The unidentified teenager was lying on his bed, watching TV and playing with a 9 mm. pistol about 8:30 p.m. when it fired. “I was trying to tie the gun around my leg,” he said, describing the accidental discharge to officers.

While it was loaded? Dude! Adding insult to – ouch! – injury:

The police department is recommending that the Orange-Osceola State Attorney’s Office charge the victim with unlawful possession of a firearm by a minor and unlawful discharge of a firearm.

Here’s the source.

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Under virtually any scenario, this lady would have gotten away with stealing (not borrowing – she didn’t return it) a neighbor’s shovel to dig out her car after the Chicago snowstorm. Unfortunately for her, the gent she stole the shovel from is in the video equipment business (think “surveillance cameras” – lots of them). So, having reviewed his footage and having seen it all go down, as you can below, he got his revenge (also included in the clip below).


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judge%20leave%20out%20of%20courtroom%20gavel%20funny.gif Regular Juice readers may recall that this will not be the first post involving a Motion to Continue a trial due to … a football game! I’m sure it won’t be the last, unfortunately.

And just in case you think that maybe The Juice just doesn’t like football … He was spotted at 3 Super Bowls over the years, coincidentally all involving the Redskins … Furthermore, he was spotted at almost every home Redskins game from 1967 until that painful day in December 1996 (notwithstanding the thrashing of the Cowboys) when the curtains closed at RFK.

Having established his bona fides, let’s just say it’s not a motion The Juice would ever file (not that there’s anything wrong with it …) Think the judge granted it? Yup, he did. Click here to read the Motion.

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Football%20flying%20fly%20throw%20throwing%20air.jpg No! I told you not to tell me that! As reported by The Cincinnati Enquirer:

The 88-year-old Blue Ash woman arrested after refusing to give a 13-year-old neighborhood boy his football back after it landed in her yard has sued the youth’s parents, alleging emotional distress.

Don’t laugh. This is serious stuff.

The suit contends that members of the Tanis household “have thrown objects against the side of Ms. Jester’s house, into her gardens and onto her porch.”

The Tanises and their minor children “regularly and without permission” enter Jester’s yard to retrieve footballs and other play items that have been “carelessly tossed” onto her property, the suit adds.

See what I mean? Very serious stuff. Oh, the pain! This is exactly the kind of case a personal injury lawyer hates to see.

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He did! Listen to the 911 call [above]. So what happened after the call? As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Dispatchers traced the call to 192 Waterville Road, the home of Robert J. Michelson.

He told narcotics officers who visited his home that he had spent a lot of money online buying everything he needed to grow marijuana. He had one small plant at home, along with seeds and equipment for growing, police said.

Michelson also had drug paraphernalia for personal use.

If this was an attempted candor pander, it failed.

He was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, illegal cultivation of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia in a drug factory.

Michelson was brought to Farmington police headquarters where he was released on $5,000 bond. Police said he was cooperative with officers, but made an obscene gesture at the dispatchers.

Yeah, it was all the dispatcher’s fault. Here’s the source.