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Now remember, we’re talking about an iPad 2, not just an iPad … From a report in the Global Times …

A teenager in China sold one of his kidneys to buy an iPad 2 …

A kidney!!!!!

The 17-year-old boy, identified only by the surname Zheng, searched the internet and found a buyer who was willing to pay 22,000 yuan ($3400) for the organ.

Without telling his family of his plans [“Oh mom, dad – I’m going to sell my kidney for an iPad 2. Back in a bit.”], he travelled north from his home in the eastern Anhui province to a hospital in the city of Chenzhou in Hunan province, where he was operated on under the supervision of a kidney-selling agent.

Whew. At least it was supervised …

His mother’s suspicions were aroused when her son returned home with an iPad 2 and an iPhone, and Zheng, who was left with a deep red scar from the surgery, was forced to admit what he did.

Wo there. An iPhone too? That changes everything!

She took him back to Chenzhou to report the crime, but the contact numbers the kidney agents gave Zheng were not working. The hospital, which admitted contracting out its urology department to a businessman, denied any connection with the kidney-removal operation.

On to another town. Yikes.

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So 55-year-old Wyoming resident David Anthony Vaughn was enjoying “Iron Man” at the Eastridge Movies when the unthinkable occurred – the projector malfunctioned. Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! When Mr. Vaughan demanded a refund, he was offered a voucher to see another movie. Maybe a later showing of “Iron Man?” Anyway, as reported in the Casper Star-Tribune:

According to witnesses, Vaughn became agitated as theater employees tried to explain their policy to him, yelling at workers and telling other patrons they were being ripped off. One customer heard him say that he was going to get his money’s worth before he ripped a computer monitor from the ticket counter and threw it through the glass door. After breaking the glass, the monitor came to rest by a table in the mall food court.

Shazam! Makes you wonder what he would do when faced with a serious injustice (real or perceived). Surely when the police arrived, Mr. Vaughan realized that, perhaps, he had overreacted?

Vaughn told [Sgt.] Randel his actions were justified because the theater refused to refund a patron’s money.

He was busted and booked.

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Clearly The Juice is not a big Subway fan. And while it may be true that there are now more Subway “restaurants” than McDonalad’s “restaurants” worldwide, it’s also true that Subway has an incredibly low franchise fee.

Anyway, back to the Subway in question. It’s in Florida. And if you asked for “extra meat,” you really didn’t want extra meat… As reported by tcpalm.com:

Undercover investigators for the St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office said a sandwich artist [ha!] was doubling as a drug dealer at the fast-food restaurant in the 1900 block of U.S. 1, Fort Pierce. The investigators said Elizabeth Hunt, 47, would slip a bag of marijuana to customers who asked for extra meat with their subs. They said Hunt gave them two grams of marijuana on two occasions last month when they used the code. The investigators dropped $10 into the tip jar for each purchase, according to her affidavit.

Hunt, of the 600 block of Grand Club Place, Fort Pierce, was being held Thursday in lieu of $55,000 bail on two charges of sale and delivery of marijuana within 1,000 feet of a convenience store, possession of marijuana with intent to sell within 1,000 feet of a convenience store and possession of drug paraphernalia.

And once again, many people have found that there is no good reason to go to Subway … Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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Most people who owe money and don’t have it will just admit it, right? Not so with this Florida man. As reported by The St. Petersburg Times:

Michael Cherubino, 51, of 5464 Birchwood Road in Spring Hill had told deputies two men attacked him at his home, stabbed him in the stomach and stole about $4,000 before fleeing in a “beat up” white pickup.

Investigators say he later admitted to Hernando County sheriff’s deputies that he had lied and cut himself with a piece of glass so he would be hospitalized, miss his court date and have an excuse not to pay $4,000 he owed in child support.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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What name could be so bad that a Chicago Alderman held up the sign permit for 2 1/2 years? “Felony Franks”. Yes, The Juice is scratching his head too. As reported by The Chicago Sun-Times:

After a 2½-year battle that culminated in a First Amendment lawsuit, the City Council’s Transportation Committee will meet on June 6 to issue the sign permit local Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) has been blocking on grounds that the name sends a “bad message” to area students.

Sorry Bob, but you’re the one sending the wrong message: censorship because YOU don’t like the message.

The agreement hammered out in federal court this week stipulates that Fioretti and three other aldermen named in the lawsuit will no longer “oppose, interfere or obstruct” the permit application process for Felony Franks, 229 S. Western.

What does the owner of Felony Franks think?

“We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of speech. If I cannot be allowed to call my business what I want, then we’re living in a dictatorship, not a democracy,” said owner Jim Andrews, who hires ex-offenders. “If you fight hard enough for what you believe in, the system works. The only thing wrong with the system is the consumer shouldn’t have to fight as hard as I had to fight for what’s right.”

And Bob, since when is helping to reintegrate ex-cons into society a bad thing? Oh, and about that lawsuit …

[It’s] still pending and Andrews is still demanding $293,000 in damages for business lost during the 2½-year sign battle.

Here’s hoping Mr. Andrews is victorious. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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You’re out drinking with a friend. Wisely, you travel by cab. Your friend is not feeling well. Of course, you are sympathetic, right? Um… Not so much. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio Police Blotter:

DISTURBANCE, HIDDEN MEADOWS: At 2:51 a.m. April 2, a cab driver told police that when he dropped off passengers, they began to argue and physically fight.

The driver stated that one of the passengers vomited in the vehicle, and that he was still owed $30.

Police determined that the fighting stemmed from one of the subjects using his phone to film his sick friend cleaning the vomit, which led to the argument. The driver was eventually paid, and left.

You know that clip is already posted on facebook. Nice “friend.”

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Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when … [I’ll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don’t write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting “sicker and sicker.” Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

I … think … I’m … going … to … be ………sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

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Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 … unless it’s in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he’d found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That’s a little frightening, but it gets worse.

According to a Santa Rosa County Sheriff’s Office release, while the homeowner was showing a deputy the damage, a bullet passed within 2 feet of the deputy and hit the garage door.

Oh, now it’s on.

Backup units were called and four men were found in the back yard of another home on the same street.

The men had been firing a bolt action, .22 caliber rifle. Two of the men, twin brothers Tyler and Nicholas Hulick, both 19, had fired the rifle at a can and a tree in the back yard.

When Tyler fired a shot that hit the homeowner’s garage, one of the men with him told him he “nearly hit someone” and to “not shoot again.”

Good advice. Surely he listened to his twin brother.

Nicholas then took the gun from Tyler and said, “I wanna shoot some gun,” the release said. Nicholas fired four to six shots in the same direction.

Clearly theses dudes are not “identical” twins.

The can the two men were aiming at was on top of a privacy fence. Nicholas told deputies he shot at a tree in the back yard for a “very short time” before deputies arrived.

From the spot where the men were shooting there was a clear line of sight to the home where the deputy and the homeowner were standing. The two other men present did not fire the rifle. Both brothers were arrested and transported to the Santa Rosa County Jail.

The charges?

Nicholas Scott Hulick was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm, discharging a firearm in public and shooting into a dwelling. He was released on an $11,000 bond. Tyler Grant Hulick, was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm and discharging a firearm in public. He was released on a $2,000 bond.

Sounds about right to The Juice.

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It is true that “shock” can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun …

A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back — and she didn’t even feel it.

Skeptical? Check out the picture here.

Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety.

The office worker had grappled with her attacker when he snatched her handbag as she walked to her parents’ house in the Russian capital Moscow.

But she was so shocked by the ordeal she didn’t know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck just fractions of an inch from her spinal cord.

When she got home her horrified parents rushed her to hospital where surgeons managed to remove the blade without damaging Julia’s spine.

Crazy.

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Why would prisoners be forced to play computer games? In a word: cashish. (Money). As reported by The Guardian:

As a prisoner at the Jixi labour camp, Liu Dali would slog through tough days breaking rocks and digging trenches in the open cast coalmines of north-east China. By night, he would slay demons, battle goblins and cast spells.

Liu says he was one of scores of prisoners forced to play online games to build up credits that prison guards would then trade for real money. The 54-year-old, a former prison guard who was jailed for three years in 2004 for “illegally petitioning” the central government about corruption in his hometown [wow – you get paid for that in the States], reckons the operation was even more lucrative than the physical labour that prisoners were also forced to do.

“Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour,” Liu told the Guardian. “There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [£470-570] a day. We didn’t see any of the money. The computers were never turned off.”

Maybe the work was virtual, but the punishment related to it was very real.

“If I couldn’t complete my work quota, they would punish me physically. They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things,” he said.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.