Squeezed on:

vampire.jpg

This is really gross and weird. Who likes sucking blood so much that he would do it for 2-3 minutes? Why would you let someone do that? As reported by The Arizona Republic:

A vampire-crazed man was sentenced Monday to three years probation for stabbing a friend who had refused to let him suck his blood.

Some “friend” he turned out to be …

[Aaron] Homer [age 24] stabbed the arm of Robert Maley, 25, of Chandler on Oct. 4 after Maley refused to let him suck his blood a second time, the police report said.

Maley had let Homer suck his blood before, but only because Homer was threatening to cut his ex-girlfriend or her friend. Homer sucked his blood for two to three minutes that time.

Two to three minutes!

On Oct. 4, Homer was demanding to suck his blood a second time.

“I said no, and he flipped,” Maley told police. “He said, ‘I’m doing it,’ and then boom . . . he stabbed me.”

Maley fled from Homer’s apartment on the 600 block of North Alma School Road, leaving a trail of blood in addition to fake blood that Homer or his girlfriend, Amanda Williamson, 21, had spread on the floor, according to the police report.

“They think they are vampires,” said Maley of Homer and Williamson. The pair, he said, are also into paganism.

Homer later admitted to police he stabbed Maley because he was making fun of their “religion.”

How do you get no jail time after admitting that you stabbed someone? Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

dress%20code.jpg

There’s a dress code at the mall? At least at the Quaker Bridge Mall in Trenton, New Jersey there is. And in case you think the saggy pants looks is a male thing, think again. As reported by The Lawrenceville Patch:

Ashley L. Diggs, 24, of the 800 block of East State Street in Trenton, was charged with disorderly conduct after she allegedly refused to pull her pants up inside Quaker Bridge Mall, according to Edgar.

Diggs was reportedly walking around the mall, in the 3300 block of Brunswick Pike (Route 1), about 6 p.m. Saturday with her underwear visible, Edgar said. He said mall security officers approached Diggs, advised her of the mall’s dress code, and asked her to “pull her pants up.”

Edgar said Diggs allegedly started yelling obscenities at the security guards and became so unruly that she scared “numerous children” nearby. Police were contacted and Diggs was arrested by Officer Steve Simon, he said.

Sure, make it about “the children.” Who could be against “the children” and in support of baggy pants woman? The Juice, for one. Ridiculous. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

joseph%20florence.jpeg

Next time you want to do something nice for a neighbor, think about this story, and then do it anyway. Because there can’t be a lot of neighbors with this particular dynamic … As reported by wftv.com:

Authorities said Joseph Florence was upset with how his neighbor’s yard looked, so he decided to water it. His neighbor called police.

Calling the cops? An overreaction, perhaps? Now that we’re talking about overreactions, how did Mr. Florence respond when the police arrived?

Police said when they arrived and tried to arrest Florence for trespassing, there was a struggle and he punched and choked the officers.

No! Bad move. [See above.]

The officers were not seriously hurt, but Florence ended up with two black eyes.

Florence was arrested and charged with battery to a law enforcement officer, assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, depriving an officer of communication, and resisting an officer without violence. Florence was taken to the Polk County jail.

The Juice has a feeling that won’t be the end of it. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

middle%20finger%20fuck%20you%20off%20flipping%20bird.jpg

No offense to the kid who started all of this “no cussing” hullabaloo, but really, has the word “shit,” by itself, ever hurt anyone? Right. What about “You’re fat” or “You’re ugly” or “You’re stupid?”
Off the soapbox, though, and on to Mr. Anthony Ruano. Seems that young Mr. Ruano (age 18) had an argument with his dad, then headed across the street, spray paint in hand. On the wall of the building facing his dad’s house, he wrote a 7-foot-long message – “Fuck You.” Unfortunately for Mr. Ruano, that building WAS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

As luck (bad) would have it, Mr. Ruano chose to do this during Los Angeles County’s “No Cussing Week.” Per The Contra Costa Times,

Ruano finds himself prosecuted under a City Attorney’s Office plan to work to improve safety and security at the city’s school campuses….

[He] was charged with one count of vandalism and could go to jail for a year and pay up to $10,000 in fines if convicted.

It’s pathetic, but props to The Contra Costa Times for at least saying the graffiti rhymed with “Muck Goo,” placing it one notch above the legions of “expletive deleted” censors.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

florida%20orange%20grove.jpg

You’re driving down the road in Florida and you see a beautiful orange grove, or a cow with a silhouette of Jesus on her. You’ll have to resist the urge to take a photograph unless you have the owner’s permission, at least if a Florida legislator has his way. Here’s part of a bill proposed by Senator Jim Norman:

(2) A person who photographs, video records, or otherwise produces images or pictorial records, digital or otherwise, at or of a farm or other property where legitimate agriculture operations are being conducted without the written consent of the owner, or an authorized representative of the owner, commits a felony of the first degree …

A felony? Why pass such a law? Would it pass constitutional muster? As reported by The Florida Tribune:

Media law experts say the ban would violate freedoms protected in the U. S. Constitution. But Wilton Simpson, a farmer who lives in Norman’s district, said the bill is needed to protect the property rights of farmers and the “intellectual property” involving farm operations.

Simpson, president of Simpson Farms near Dade City, said the law would prevent people from posing as farmworkers so that they can secretly film agricultural operations.

So this is a problem in Florida?

[Mr. Simpson] said he could not name an instance in which that happened. But animal rights groups such as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and Animal Freedom display undercover videos on their web sites to make their case that livestock farming and meat consumption are cruel.

Sorry Mr. Simpson, but The Juice agrees with this lady.

Judy Dalglish, executive director for the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, said shooting property from a roadside or from the air is legal. The bill “is just flat-out unconstitutional not to mention stupid,” she said.

Here’s the proposed law, and here’s the rest of the Trib article.

Squeezed on:

The Juice has the utmost respect for police officers. But, just as there are lawyers who do bad things, such is the case with police officers too. But there are no dashboard cameras for lawyers… Unfortunately for this baton-wielding officer (see below, at the 15 second mark), his dashboard camera was up and running. He was subsequently fired, criminally charged, and convicted, which you can read about here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1joImpo4l0

Squeezed on:

airplane%20plane%20flying%20clouds.jpg

You find out your husband is cheating on you. You fly from the east coast to Chicago, and this is the best you can do? As reported by www.triblocal.com:

A wife flew to Chicago and cut the crotches out of the pants of a woman who was vacationing with her Wilmette husband, police said.

That’s it? Actually there was one more thing …

[she] put [the clothes] in a suitcase and left it in the home’s driveway, she told investigators.

Based on the backstory, the gent is fortunate that’s all she did with the scissors.

Reached later by telephone, the man’s wife allegedly acknowledged to Wilmette police that she had damaged the clothing — and that the two are still married, talk on the telephone several times per day, and have lived separately because of their work situations.

The woman said her husband told her he was traveling to a business conference, but she became enraged when she discovered he was vacationing in the Caribbean with another woman, the report states.

Surely the husband admitted to the affair? Well …

The man told police the woman was just a friend and was visiting him from Turkey. She declined to press charges over the damage. The man also told police that he was separated, though not divorced, from his wife, who lives out of state.

Plausible, but …

She told investigators she flew from the East Coast to O’Hare Airport on March 4, took a cab to the Wilmette home she still co-owns with her husband, and was shocked to find that her husband “had hidden everything that would reveal he was married.”

Just sayin’, it doesn’t look too good for the husband. So, the charges?

Since the woman whose clothes were destroyed refused to sign a criminal complaint, no charges were filed and the case is considered closed.

Hmmm. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

divorce%20property%20division%20settlement.jpg

It’s always nice when folks get divorced, yet remain civil. On the other end of the spectrum, at least from the ex-wife’s standpoint, we have this story out of Eutawville, South Carolina, as reported by The Times and Democrat:

The victim told deputies he got into an argument over the phone with his former wife at around 12:30 a.m. and it was agreed they meet at a location on Cement Bridge Road several miles southeast of Eutawville.

“Meet me outside of town on Cement Bridge Road.” Who would accept that invitation? Well …

When the man made his appearance at the designated location …

No!!!!

…he was met by four men who were strangers to him. He described one of the men as being “stocky.” The four men proceeded to beat the victim in the face and head, the report said.

Not cool. Adding insult to injury …

Two of the victim’s assailants then began punching his Chevrolet Silverado, the report said. One of them, described as 6-foot-2-inches and 240 pounds, “ripped the tailgate from the truck,” according to the incident report.

Not … my … truck! And what kind of justice is the ex looking for?

The victim said he wanted to file charges for the damages done to the truck.

Really? Just the truck? Apparently so. Here’s the source.