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You’re probably thinking “oh, like you’ve never brandished?” A gun? No, The Juice has never brandished a gun. The same cannot be said for Ms. Shiquita D. Reed, whose recent trip to Brandishstan involved children at a bus stop! As reported by The Richmond Times-Dispatch:

A Chesterfield County mother with a history of disturbing, anti-social behavior was convicted Thursday of brandishing a gun [a .40-caliber semi-automatic pistol!] in front of three students at her daughter’s bus stop and sent to jail for two years.

Declaring Shiquita D. Reed a “danger to society,” Judge D. Gregory Carr of Chesterfield Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court convicted the 33-year-old mother of six on three misdemeanor counts of brandishing and sentenced her to a total of 36 months in jail with 12 months suspended.

What about her record?

Carr noted Reed’s prior record, including at least three convictions for assault and battery, one for destruction of property and another for brandishing a gun when she was 18, in 1996.

A year ago last month, Reed was charged in Richmond with three counts of brandishing a firearm in the course of six days, including one incident involving a student walking to school. But all three charges eventually were withdrawn because the witnesses either didn’t show up in court or refused to testify.

The Richmond commonwealth’s attorney’s office has dealt with Reed nearly a dozen times in recent years on a variety of charges, but most were dropped because of witness problems.

This may, or may not, explain why there has been such a problem with witnesses:

… Reed … [said] it wasn’t uncommon for her to walk her daughter to the bus stop and she had carried her gun there at least three times before…

“I always carry my gun,” Reed testified, adding that she straps it on soon after she wakes up in the morning.

Yikes. You can read more – a fair amount – and see Ms. Reed’s mugshot here.

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Some people smoke weed. Some people believe god tells them to do things. Therefore, some people who smoke weed believe god tells them to do things. No? Of course not. You need not have taken formal logic to know that is complete BS. Nevertheless, there was a young man in West Hartford, who, after smoking weed said he was doing god’s work… As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Police said a Middle Road resident arrived home Sunday and noticed the front door had been kicked in. [Levon T.]Sarkisyan [27], who identified himself as Leon Sark, then walked out the front door and told the homeowner “a light from above told him to do this,” said Farmington police Sgt. Stephen Egan.

Sarkisyan then told the homeowner he’d broken into the house because “God wants me to help the world,” Egan said. He then told the homeowner, “I mean you no harm.”

While in the house, Sarkisyan used a fireplace poker to smash statues, including one of a Roman soldier, and a marble table, causing about $10,000 in damage, Egan said. Sarkisyan also rummaged through closets, took a shower, then dressed in the clothing of a deceased former resident, Egan said.

No harm to you, just your house and your stuff.

The homeowner told Sarkisyan to sit down, then fumbled with a phone trying to call 911, Egan said.

Sarkisyan said, “You see, God will not let you use the phone,” Egan said.

Er, um, okay.

As they waited for police, the homeowner asked Sarkisyan how he broke into the home.

Sakisyan then stood up, “flexed his arm and said, “you see, super human strength,” Egan said.

Officers arrived moments later and took him into custody without incident.

Why, Sark, why?

Later, Sarkisyan told officers he’d smoked “a strange strand of herb” that caused him to do what he did, Egan said.

The charges?

… third-degree burglary and first-degree criminal mischief …

Sark clearly has problems, but lack of an education is not one of them. He graduated from UConn. Click here for the source, which includes one of the wackiest mug shots The Juice has seen in a while.

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Your boat breaks down in the middle of nowhere. But wait, help is on the way … or is it? Well, sort of. As reported by The Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Boynton Beach TowboatU.S. captain Timothy R. Pooler was dispatched to rescue two men in a disabled boat 25 miles off Delray Beach.

But the rescue operation Thursday evening suffered some irregularities, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Pooler, 63, arrived drunk, four hours after being dispatched, and for several hours towed the disabled boat around in circles.

Doh!

At dawn, he asked the men, Lionel Casey and Lewis Dames of Fort Lauderdale, to drive his tow boat, which then ran out of fuel. Casey and Dames took fuel from their boat, which regained power after the engine had cooled sufficiently.

And they lived happily ever … um, not so fast.

So they towed Pooler’s boat. Until they decided to cut him loose.

Well, that was cold. Maybe not unreasonable, but still cold. And then?

Then their boat broke down again.

Hmm. Karma?

About 12 hours after their initial breakdown, a second tow boat delivered the men to shore — in Jupiter, 30 miles north of their departure point. The FWC picked up Pooler, who admitted that he was drinking and should not have reported for duty as a tow boat operator, and charged him with drunken boating.

All arrived home safely. It could have been a lot worse, like if the Captain was a tow truck driver. Here’s the source.

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You sell cars. A prospective buyer tells you that he wants to test drive a particular car … alone. Why alone, you might wonder? Wonder or not, this salesman agreed, and, as reported by the Oak Park (Illinois) Trib Local:

A man in his 40’s stole a gold 1996 Ford F150 truck valued at $3,500 from a car dealership on the 6100 block of Roosevelt Road ay 4:10 p.m. June 17.

The man requested to take the test drive alone while the salesperson followed in another vehicle. The man eluded the salesperson and fled.

Doh! Dude has bad judgment, and apparently isn’t a very good driver either.

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A convenience store clerk in Florida might as well have said “Hey fellas, want some money? Help yourself!” Here’s how it went down, as reported by www.wpbf.com:

Boynton Beach police said two men entered the store [the aptly-named E-Z Market] and found the clerk asleep in the back.

Police said one of the men took between $300 and $400 from the register while the other man kept watch to make sure the clerk didn’t wake up.

Both men then rode off on a bicycle, police said.

Fellow cyclists? Dagnabbit. Please, don’t hold this against The Juice and the ever-increasing number of cyclists out there.

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If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And, you heard it here, rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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So, you’re telling me that if metal is exposed to the sun, it’ll get hot? NFW! Who would have thought that? Not this woman, who had some wire in her bathing suit (guess where) and got burned. As reported by The New York Post:

A Long Island sun worshipper landed in the hospital with third-degree burns on her bust after the underwire in her two-piece bathing suit became superheated, she said.

Underwire? Oh, so that’s how come this suit makes me feel so much younger! Who knew?!

The black Coco Reef swimsuit had been sitting in her drawer for a while before Robin Corrente, 50, of Yaphank, got the chance to try it out.

She wore it on a 90-degree afternoon in August 2008 to soak up some rays in her yard. “After about an hour, I was hurting,” Corrente said. “I went up to take a shower and I realized . . . I had a lot of blisters.”

A trip to the hospital confirmed she had serious burns, and doctors had to remove a piece of flesh “the size of a dime” from her right breast.

Yikes. That had to hurt. Now she’s trying to take down the very folks who helped, um, prop her up.

Corrente is suing Coco Reef manufacturer Swimwear Anywhere in Manhattan Supreme Court. Swimwear Anywhere declined to comment.

And if you think The Juice is rooting against Ms. Corrente, think again. Although she could have thought of the scenario of the wire heating up during sunbathing, certainly the manufacturer should have foreseen it. Here’s the source.

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When you have a flat tire, you’re already having a bad day. The next time you get a flat, remember this story, and know that it could have been a LOT worse.

It all started when this gent was just fixing his flat tire, and a police officer stopped to help him. As reported in The Post & Courier:

A man arrested for marijuana possession now faces a drug trafficking charge after officers and jailers found 14 grams of crack cocaine inside his body.

Derrick Andrew Guest, 24 of North Charleston is charged with simple possession of marijuana and trafficking crack cocaine.

You can probably guess where they found the crack

Officers found the cocaine in his rectum while conducting a strip search [while he was being booked] at the Charleston County Detention Center, according to an incident report.

Guest was initially arrested about 5 p.m. Monday after an officer who had stopped to assist him with a flat tire smelled marijuana on him.

Guest told police he didn’t have any marijuana on him but he agreed to let officers examine the contents of his pockets. They found two clear bags of marijuana, the report said.

Damn you flat tire!

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It’s never a good idea to leave the keys in the ignition. It’s an especially bad idea under these circumstances, as reported by The Brooklyn Paper

A thief stole a $50,000 tractor trailer packed with $200,000 in beef on Grand Street on May 30.

The driver told police that she was making a delivery to Western Beef at 3:30 am, and parked her truck near Gardner Avenue with the key in its ignition. She returned 10 minutes later to suffer a bum steer.

$200,000? That’s some seriously choice meat, or a helluva lot of it, or both.

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You can allege anything. The question is, can you prove it? Check out the allegations in a lawsuit currently pending in Fairfax County (Virginia) Circuit Court, as reported in The Washington Post:

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

So those are the allegations. Said the defendant’s lawyer …

… there was “no statement by anyone that they were driving on the Beltway having sex” and “no facts on it.”

The Post also reports that …

Records show the defendant, from Woodbridge, was convicted in Fairfax district court of drunken driving near Telegraph Road in May 2010. But now he denies he was driving. (What?) He was coming from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore, court records state. The woman involved has been dismissed from the case. There was someone ELSE in the car too, and HE denies driving as well.

Should be quite the trial. (It’ll take place next week.) Here’s the source.

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