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Over the 14 years Noel “Nutsy” Campbell and Miss Jasmine were involved (I can’t say “together” because at one point, she left him for 4 years!), she left him 13 times. He always took her back. So why did he finally decide he’d had enough? He was tired of the beatings Miss Jasmine inflicted on him, among other things.

She used a machete to beat me all over my body. I ran into my van to get away from her. I managed to get into the van. Nicholas and Noel Jr (his sons) ran me down … and began beating me in my head. I drive away and left them.

She attacked me with a machete that gave me a cut to my right finger on my right hand. I ran out of the house. I went into the van and was reversing. (She) used a stone to hit out the windshield and she also broke my rear view mirror.

So he went to went to court to get a protective order. The Judge said this was the first time she’d ever seen a man bring a woman before the court for abuse. She also said:

“The court makes a protection order or interim protection order forbidding the respondent from entering or remaining in the (applicant’s) residence.” The order, among other clauses, forbids Miss Jasmine from entering Nutsy’s place of work or education, and from molesting the (applicant) by using abusive language to or behaving towards (the applicant) in any manner which is of such nature and degree as to cause annoyance to or result in ill-treatment of the (applicant)”.

Through all of this, Nutsy said he still loves her! Said Nutsy,

… men who are being physically abused by their partners must do the honourable thing and seek legal protection and, if they “can do better, leave the woman, nuh kill har, cause life hard, but it sweet”.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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A California (you were thinking Idaho?) patrolman attended a transvestite party where he paid an entrance fee of between $50-$100 with the expectation of receiving sexual gratification. Damned if he wasn’t getting his money’s worth – participating in sexual acts – when the police raided the party and caught him in the act!

When the party was raided, what do you think happened to Patrolman Warren?

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You’ve probably never been arrested, let alone twice in one day. Carl Michael Gunther of Naperville, Illinois, has. As reported by the Chicago Tribune:

Police were called to the Crosstown Pub and Grill at 909 E. Ogden Ave. in Naperville after Carl Michael Gunther, of the 1000 block of Jane Avenue, refused management’s request to leave, police said.

Big mistake, that.

Police searched Gunther’s car and determined he had driven while intoxicated.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] Did they breathalyze the car? Anyway …

Police said they found a multicolored glass pipe in his car.

Police said Gunther resisted arrest and urinated in his jail cell while he was being held. He was charged with driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia, damage to property and resisting a peace officer, police said.

Okay, not a good night, but at least it’s over? Nope.

After posting $300 bond, Gunther took a cab to a relative’s house, where he left the cab without paying, police alleged.

Dude!

Police were called to Pembroke Road near Chicago Avenue about 4 a.m. April 22 and arrested Gunther again. He was taken to the DuPage County Jail, where he was charged with theft of labor/services and violation of bail bond, police said.

The Juice would recommend laying low for a spell. Here’s the source.

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Okay, so it’s at least a mildly interesting strategy – hiding in plain sight. And sometimes it even works on TV and in the movies.In real life? Not so much, as Floridian Bryan Hartman discovered. Per The Orlando Sentinel:

A St. Cloud man was arrested Monday after drug agents found marijuana growing in his front yard, they said.

Seventeen plants, from 2 feet to 7 feet tall, were growing in planters in front of the home of Bryan Hartman, 45, the Osceola County Investigative Bureau said. The house is in the 1100 block of Mississippi Avenue.

Hartman gave permission to search his home and was arrested on a charge of cultivation of cannabis, agents said. He was being held at the Osceola County Jail.

Doh!

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At least according to Merriam-Webster, a “fetish” is defined as “an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion,” or “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.” Given this man’s behavior, do you think he has a toe fetish? Per The China Daily:

A woman in Dalian, Liaoning province, was attacked by a man who wanted to bite her toes.

The woman said the man, who looked about 25 years old and was well dressed, chased her as she was climbing the stairs of a residential building.

To the woman’s surprise, when the man caught her, he took off her right shoe and bit two of her toes. He fled after the woman kept hitting him with a plastic bottle.

Yikes. So many strange people in this world. And since China has just about 1/5 of the world’s population … expect to see more Juice stories from China.

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How does one group of prisoners really get to another group of prisoners without ever speaking to them? Here’s how, and here’s what the prison did to address it, per the Edinburgh Evening News:

Prison chiefs at Saughton have reportedly been forced to erect a screen wall around the exercise yard, over concerns that new female inmates were flashing their breasts at male prisoners.

A 20ft security fence has been covered with tarpaulin this week after male inmates began hanging out of the windows of their cells to look at the female prisoners in the yard.

And the official explanation?

A spokesman for the Scottish Prison Service said: “The fence has been changed due to operational reasons.”

Why not just spit it? “Operational reasons.” Please. Here’s the source.

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Not many Orders merit a block quote on Legal Juice. This one, from the case of Kissel v. Schwartz … out of Kentucky, most definitely does. So, without further ado:

“And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would rather have jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELED.”

You like Kenton Circuit Judge Martin J. Sheehan, right? One more thing:

“4. The Clerk shall engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of this file to the Clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floors of said office.”

Nicely done sir! Here’s the Order

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Please keep in mind that this is the same town, Kure Beach, North Carolina, that outlawed thong bathing suits. Anyway, way back when (way pre-thong), someone must have been playing the piccolo really loud. Why would the Juice hazard this guess? This is from the Kure Beach nuisance laws:

Sec. 11-31. Certain noises prohibited.

(a) The creation and continuation of any loud, disturbing and unnecessary noises in the town is hereby prohibited…

(b) The following acts, among others, are declared to be loud, disturbing, annoying and unnecessary noises in violation of this section …

(2) Radios, phonographs, etc. The playing of any radio, phonograph, piccolo or any musical instrument in such manner or with such volume as to annoy or disturb any person, or disturb the quiet, comfort or repose of any person in any dwelling, hotel or other residence. (emphasis added)

Picking on the piccolo? Not cool. Here’s the source. (Click on Chapter 11, then Article III.)

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So maybe this tanning salon customer didn’t use those exact words, but just about. As reported by The Daily News (Washington State):

In a recently released report, police said Mary Marilyn Greene of Longview called Island Sun Tanning on July 8, asking if employees there had found “something bad.” Greene, who identified herself by name, had been a customer at the tanning salon earlier in the day, the report said.

Employees later found a bag containing a white, crystal-like substance on the floor of the salon’s lobby. At the request of police, an employee called Greene, who said she was on her way over to pick up the drugs.

Guess who was there to greet her?

An officer waited in a tanning booth until Green collected meth, according to the report. The officer took Greene into custody as she left the tanning salon.

Police said Greene provided a written confession admitting that the drugs were hers.

Click here for the source.

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If you didn’t get in any trouble as a kid, either you’re very clever, or your childhood was incomplete. But this kid? At only 12, he’s had enough trouble to last him for a long, long time. As reported by www.ksat.com:

In Santa Fe, New Mexico, a 12-year-old boy high on marijuana led police on a chase and eventually rolled his car — and it’s not his first run-in with the law.

He was wearing a monitoring bracelet! Ever heard of a 12-year-old wearing a monitoring bracelet? Here’s how they got the ride:

A representative with the Sheriff’s Office said the boys broke into a home and stole the car’s keys.

Incredibly, after rolling the car, neither the boy nor his 15-year-old buddy were hurt badly. They were, however, arrested when they tried to take off. Here’s the source.

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