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What’s the big deal? It was 4:00 a.m. for goodness sake. Can’t a fella go out for a little stroll without getting busted? Well, there is at least one prerequisite to taking that stroll … As reported by wmbfnews.com:

… the suspect, 21-year-old Kerry Joseph Jasiak of Myrtle Beach, was walking down Robert Grissom Parkway toward SC 31 completely nude around 4 a.m. Saturday.

Jasiak told responding officers he did not know where his clothes were, the report said.

See, he had a perfectly logical explanation! Even so, guess what the Five-O did?

Jasiak was taken into custody and transported to the Myrtle Beach Jail where he was charged with Disorderly Conduct (Public Nudity).

Here’s the source, including the mug shot.

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The Juice thinks this breathalyzer must be busted. Why? Because this dude blew way too low considering the circumstances. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

The deputy saw sparks and smoke coming from Kevin Blazer’s Lexus just after 1 a.m. Wednesday and pulled the car over on Little Road near Trouble Creek Road. The driver was so intoxicated, the Pasco sheriff’s deputy later wrote in a report, he didn’t realize he had been driving with his left front tire missing. Blazer, a 34-year-old college student, was arrested and charged with DUI. His blood alcohol level was between 0.129 and 0.131, according to the Sheriff’s Office. The state presumes impairment at 0.08.

Blazer, of 4039 Vista Verde Drive in New Port Richey, was released from the Pasco Jail on Wednesday.

Kudos to Mr. Blazer for returning to college while in his 30s. A big black mark for Mr. Blazer for not maturing much in the intervening years.

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Just what was the condition imposed by Judge Tom Broadmore for granting bail to Mr. Ben Hana (who was charged with cannabis possession and obscene exposure)?

That he wear underwear.

For real. Per The Dominion Post, it seems that Mr. Hana is “… well known around Wellington [New Zealand] as Blanket Man.” Unfortunately, that’s apparently all he wears – a blanket. As his lawyer described it …

“He wears high-risk clothing. It’s a way of life rather than a deliberate attempt at lewdness.”

“High-risk.” Nice touch. What did the Judge think?

Judge Tom Broadmore was sceptical of Ms Dixon’s explanation: “I was walking down Courtenay Place and I’m sure he was exposing his genitals. It’s just not something the public should have to tolerate.”

Counselor?

Ms Dixon suggested making the wearing of underwear a bail condition as a “precautionary measure”.

Done? Done.

The judge agreed to bail on condition that Hana not enter licensed premises, other than supermarkets, not drink alcohol and that he wear underpants or boxer shorts while in public.

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The Juice really, really dislikes liars. Everyone screws up. When you do, just own up to it, and accept the consequences. A drunk-driving English lawyer took a different approach. As reported by The Independent:

Francis Bridgeman, 43, attempted to create an elaborate web of lies to cover up the drink-driving offence … Bridgeman’s Land Rover Sport was found locked and in a ditch in Shovers Green, Ticehurst, East Sussex, at about 1am on April 7, 2010, having crashed into a telegraph pole, police said.

Officers traced the Land Rover to Bridgeman’s home in Wards Lane, Wadhurst, but the lawyer claimed armed men had kidnapped him in the car park of Wadhurst railway station, before driving him off at knifepoint with a bag over his head in another vehicle and then dumping him in Cousley Wood

And, as an officer of the court, you’re sticking with that? Really?

Sussex Police said a breath test carried out at his home proved he was just over the drink-drive limit and he was arrested on suspicion of drink-driving.

Barely over! So he can’t even claim that he came up with such a lame story because he was shitfaced!

Police launched a kidnap investigation but Bridgeman’s recollection of events could not be substantiated, police said.

And physical evidence?

Bridgeman’s DNA was found on the Land Rover’s airbag, showing that he must have been driving the car when it crashed, Sussex Police added.

Curse you, DNA!

He was charged with perverting the course of justice, drink-driving, driving without due care and attention and failing to report a road accident.

After a 5-day trial, guess how long it took for the jury to find him guilty? 45 minutes! So what was the sentence?

Judge Guy Anthony banned Bridgeman from driving for 18 months and ordered that he pay £4,200 costs.

Additionally, Bridgeman was sentenced to 12 months in jail.

Quoting a line from Sir Walter Scott’s poem Marmion, [the Judge] said: “Oh, What a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive.”

He added: “You wasted valuable police time and public expense in order to escape a drink-driving offence when you should have had the courage and decency to plead guilty from the outset. To pervert the course of justice is a serious offence and warrants a custodial sentence.”

Hear, hear, your Honor. Hear, hear. You’ll find the source here.

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When I grow up, I want to be a doctor so I can … For this doctor, the rest of the sentence would have been nothing like “help people” or “cure diseases.” As reported by the CBC News:

The Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons received complaints from four female patients of Miguel Bonin.

A discipline committee heard that Bonin had made sexual comments during pap smears and vaginal exams.

So you’ll get an idea of what a tool this guy is …

Patients said he commented on the size of their breasts, made sexual invitations, asked about sexual fantasies and said he told them he “became this kind of doctor so I could see pretty women in my office.”

The Juice would suspend Dr. Bonin for at least a year, make him undergo a lot of counseling, and have a professional certify that he’s fit to practice. The punishment?

The College has suspended Bonin for three months… and fined [him] more than $7,000 for misconduct.

When he resumes his practice, the College has imposed restrictions. He will not be able to see a female patient without a monitor approved by the College. He must also post a sign in his office and consulting rooms notifying women of the restrictions he is now under.

Pshaw. Bunch of wimps. Here’s the source.

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Drunk driving is all too common. What about driving drunk to a drive-thru, and then drinking while you’re at the window? It’s happened at least once. As reported by wmbfnews.com:

A South Carolina woman is now out on bond after allegedly admitting to drinking while she was in the drive-thru of a Little River fast food restaurant Monday evening.

Yikes!

According to a police report obtained by WMBF News, officers with the Horry County Police Department were dispatched to the Burger King located at 1568 Highway 17 in reference to a person in the drive thru who was possibly intoxicated.

Once they got there, they found Debra Marie Lafferty, 51, of Mt. Pleasant and asked her to move to the back of the vehicle she was driving, the report said.

Officers said Lafferty became very loud and belligerent as they tried to talk with her, and they could sense she was under the influence of alcohol.

According to the report, Lafferty admitted she had been drinking. She was then placed under arrest for public disorderly conduct “for being grossly intoxicated in public.”

Her vehicle was towed and she was taken to the J. Reuben Long Detention Center. She was released Tuesday morning at 8:45 a.m. on a $262 bond.

Shazam! Here’s the source, including a mug shot of Ms. Lafferty.

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What would you do for some nuggies? Definitely not what a California woman was willing to do, as reported by whptv.com.

Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles was seen opening customers’ car doors in the McDonald’s drive through at 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, according to the Burbank Leader. Baseer was allegedly offering to swap sexual favors for the fast food item.

A witness reported her bizarre behavior to the authorities. Baseer was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

Yikes.

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Maybe you haven’t heard about bath salts. Or maybe you have, and think the hype is overblown. Well, what would you say if The Juice told you that bath salts could cause you to yearn for Mike Huckabee? As reported by Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, Rhett Daniel Burleson broke into his father’s home and was lying on the kitchen floor. Burlseon was “raving about Jesus, Mike Huckabee, and how people were ‘full of [shit].’ ” (expletive reinserted)

The deputy asked Burlseon what was going on and he yelled that he needed to speak to Mike Huckabee and demanded that he be delivered to him.

Say what?

Burleson was talking very quickly and was speaking to someone not in the room that he claimed to be Jesus.

Burleson initially complied with the deputies allowing them to cuff him, but he suddenly began to resist and attempted to scratch one deputy’s face.

[He] was arrested and charged with felony battery on an officer and felony resisting arrest with violence.

Later, deputies learned Burleson was under the influence of a synthetic drug such as spice or bath salts.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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If you’re thinking this Crestview, Florida woman hid the shoes on her person, you’re right. In her coat? Nope. Pants? Nope … As reported by NWFDailyNews.com:

A Nov. 29 video surveillance showed the woman take clothing and pass them to the man, according to an arrest report from the Crestview Police Department. The man rolled each item and passed them back to the woman.

The woman hid a pair of shoes under her breasts. She hid the rest of the items in her purse.

Really? Under her breasts? Those were either some really small shoes or …

The man was also seen selecting items, rolling them and handing them to the woman. He concealed one pair of pants inside his pants.

Quite the pair, no?

The couple was caught outside of the store and escorted to the back until police arrived. With an officer as a witness, the loss prevention officer asked the couple to return the items they took.

They were each charged with retail theft, a misdemeanor.

 

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You did. You just jacked that little girl’s Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida’s nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.

How’d they get caught?

Notified of the theft by an in-law, the victim offered to not go to the police if the thief would return the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep within 24 hours.

A nice offer but …

The Barbie Power Wheel Jeep had already been sold, according to the police report.

So …

The victim went to the police.