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How can you entice men to go to something, like say, church? In a word – strippers. There’s some crazy stuff going on in Warsaw, Ohio… From The Columbus Dispatch:

Every weekend for the last four years, [Pastor Bill] Dunfee and members of his ministry have stood watch over [strip-club owner Tommy] George’s joint, taking up residence in the right of way with signs, video cameras and bullhorns in hand. They videotape customers’ license plates and post them online, and they try to save the souls of anyone who comes and goes.

Can they do that?

George … sued the church in federal court several years ago, claiming a violation of his constitutional rights, but he lost.

Okay, Plan B ….

Now, the dancers have turned the tables, so to speak. Fed up with the tactics of Dunfee and his flock, they say they have finally accepted his constant invitation to come to church.

It’s just that they’ve come wearing see-through shorts and toting Super Soakers.

They bring lawn chairs and – yesterday, anyway – grilled hamburgers, Monster energy drinks and corn on the cob.

How do the parties view this battle of wills?

[Dunfee] said their presence has united his church members and reinvigorated their mission to shut down the club.

“They have now seen the evil firsthand,” Dunfee said. “This has just made us stronger.”

George laughed at that notion.

“They’re just mad,” he said, “because their wives won’t let them come to my club.”

You can read a lot more about the dueling protests (and see photos) here.

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So maybe it’s not 100% certain that he was drinking with the monkeys, but he let them out of their cages, he was drunk, and … as reported by The August Chronicle (Georgia):

According to a GHSU Police Bureau incident report, a co-worker discovered Coley Mitchell, 32, partially unclothed in the Laboratory Animal Services technician locker room at the Sanders Research and Education Building about 10:30 p.m. Monday.

Yikes!

Campus police said Mitchell, a Lab Animal Services technician, was highly intoxicated and sitting in a chair with his pants half-down.

Partially clothed, highly intoxicated – what about the monkeys?

The spokeswoman said two monkeys were found outside their cages in the lab but were confined to the room. There is no indication the monkeys had been harmed.

Whew.

Police said Mitchell became combative and uncooperative with officers while being escorted from the locker room.

He was booked into the Richmond County jail Monday on charges of public intoxication.

A spokeswoman said Mitchell was still employed by Georgia Health Sciences University on Friday.

That’ll probably change. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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There are some records you just don’t want to set. It looks like this Iowan may hold this record for a while. As reported by the Iowa City, Iowa Patch:

Justin A. Clark, 24, of North Liberty, was arrested July 29 after North Liberty police received reports of a driver colliding with curbs and attempting to rev up his engine.

Clark was sitting in the driver’s seat and was unable to answer any of the officer’s questions, police said. He also was unable to get out of the vehicle, walk or perform field sobriety tests, police said.

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Being forgetful is not a crime … or, is it? It depends on the nature of the forgetfulness. In this case, it’s a definite “yes.” As reported by tcpalm.com (Florida):

The crying of a 3-year-old boy sitting alone in a store aisle at night finally attracted a clerk’s attention.

Yup.

The toddler was so upset, he could only ask “where was his mommy,” according to a police report. He couldn’t remember his mother’s last name and a call over the store’s public address system drew no response. A search outside the Deal’s Dollar Tree, in the 400 block of Georgia Avenue, also was unsuccessful.

Finally an hour later, at 9:44 p.m. Tuesday, a gold-colored minivan drove up with the mother and grandmother as police were at the store. The mother “seemed confused when approached about the whereabouts of her child,” according to the police report. “She said she thought he was in the vehicle at the time she left the store.

HOW CAN YOU FORGET YOUR CHILD? FOR AN HOUR?

“But [she] couldn’t find him when they got home,” the report states.

BECAUSE YOU LEFT HIM IN THE STORE!

Yet no one called 911, police said, and she allegedly couldn’t explain hourlong absence.

The child was turned over to the grandmother. The mother, Philleana Peak, 30, of 1200 block of Wyoming Drive, Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges of child neglect and possession of marijuana. She was in the St. Lucie County Jail in lieu of a $6,250 bail.

Now it’s starting to make sense. Here’s the source.

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Even if you thought this would allow you to avoid a DUI, you probably wouldn’t do it … unless, maybe, you were drunk? As reported by kpel965.com (Lafayette, Louisiana):

Police Chief Scott Silverii says 53-year-old Wayne Benoit was pulled over Tuesday afternoon after police saw his truck swerving down the road, at one point almost hitting someone riding a bicycle.

Almost hit a bicycle? Now The Juice is really pissed!

Silverii says Benoit reeked of alcohol, and he failed a sobriety test. Once it became apparent police were going to slap handcuffs on him, that’s when Benoit’s mind went into creative overdrive, Silverii says.

And … “Action!”

“Officers said that Benoit began straining really hard,” Silverii says. “Eventually, the straining gave way to Benoit purposely defecating himself.”

Apparently, Benoit thought he would be released after “his little episode,” Silverii says. But no, police arrested him anyway, and he was booked into the Lafourche Parish Detention Center.

Benoit had a blood alcohol content level of 0.20 percent.

Yikes. Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

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Of all the places to park your car, this is among the worst choice you could make. As reported by NorthCountryNow.com (New York):

A Potsdam man was arrested for driving while drugged early Saturday after state police discovered him allegedly sleeping while behind the wheel.

Francis T. Green, 34, of 81B Pumpkin Hill Rd., Potsdam, was charged with driving while ability impaired by drugs after police found him sleeping in his white 1992 Subaru at the intersection of Birch Street and Keener Road at about 3:45 a.m.

In the intersection!

He was transported to the Potsdam Police Department where he was evaluated by a drug recognition expert and found to be under the influence of drugs, police said. He was then taken to Canton-Potsdam Hospital where he consented to a blood test.

He is to face the charge Aug. 15 in Pierrepont Town Court. Police said they are waiting for the results of the blood test.

You’ll find the source here.

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Why would a German company have a party for its top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary? Could it be because prostitution is legal in Hungary? Hmmm. As reported by the BBC:

Munich Re is the world’s biggest re-insurer – in other words, the company acts as an insurance company for other insurance companies. One of its divisions, Ergo, told the BBC that the party had taken place to reward salesmen in 2007.

The gathering was held at a thermal baths in the Hungarian capital Budapest as a reward to particularly successful salesmen.

Oh, and you might not want to bring your wives …

There were about 100 guests and 20 prostitutes were hired.

A German business newspaper said the prostitutes had worn colour-coded arm-bands designating their availability, and the women had their arms stamped after each service rendered.

Wonder what those stamps look like …

According to [the newspaper] Handelsblatt, quoting an unnamed participant, guests were able to take the women to four-poster beds at the spa “and do whatever they liked”.

“There were also women with white wrist bands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps.”

What did the company have to say about the party?

A spokesman for Ergo told the BBC that the party had happened, but said it was not the usual way of rewarding their employees.

This will not help in recruiting salesmen. Perhaps “no comment” would have been better … Here’s the source.

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Assuming everything this woman says is true, you just have to scratch your head. As reported by www.timesonline (Beaver, Pennsylvania):

The owner of a Moon Township landscaping business has been charged with exposing himself to a female passenger in his car. Moon police have charged 72-year-old Armando Zucchero of 233 Ewings Mill Road, owner of Zucchero Landscaping, by mail with indecent exposure.

So what happened?