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Even if you thought this would allow you to avoid a DUI, you probably wouldn’t do it … unless, maybe, you were drunk? As reported by kpel965.com (Lafayette, Louisiana):

Police Chief Scott Silverii says 53-year-old Wayne Benoit was pulled over Tuesday afternoon after police saw his truck swerving down the road, at one point almost hitting someone riding a bicycle.

Almost hit a bicycle? Now The Juice is really pissed!

Silverii says Benoit reeked of alcohol, and he failed a sobriety test. Once it became apparent police were going to slap handcuffs on him, that’s when Benoit’s mind went into creative overdrive, Silverii says.

And … “Action!”

“Officers said that Benoit began straining really hard,” Silverii says. “Eventually, the straining gave way to Benoit purposely defecating himself.”

Apparently, Benoit thought he would be released after “his little episode,” Silverii says. But no, police arrested him anyway, and he was booked into the Lafourche Parish Detention Center.

Benoit had a blood alcohol content level of 0.20 percent.

Yikes. Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

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Of all the places to park your car, this is among the worst choice you could make. As reported by NorthCountryNow.com (New York):

A Potsdam man was arrested for driving while drugged early Saturday after state police discovered him allegedly sleeping while behind the wheel.

Francis T. Green, 34, of 81B Pumpkin Hill Rd., Potsdam, was charged with driving while ability impaired by drugs after police found him sleeping in his white 1992 Subaru at the intersection of Birch Street and Keener Road at about 3:45 a.m.

In the intersection!

He was transported to the Potsdam Police Department where he was evaluated by a drug recognition expert and found to be under the influence of drugs, police said. He was then taken to Canton-Potsdam Hospital where he consented to a blood test.

He is to face the charge Aug. 15 in Pierrepont Town Court. Police said they are waiting for the results of the blood test.

You’ll find the source here.

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Why would a German company have a party for its top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary? Could it be because prostitution is legal in Hungary? Hmmm. As reported by the BBC:

Munich Re is the world’s biggest re-insurer – in other words, the company acts as an insurance company for other insurance companies. One of its divisions, Ergo, told the BBC that the party had taken place to reward salesmen in 2007.

The gathering was held at a thermal baths in the Hungarian capital Budapest as a reward to particularly successful salesmen.

Oh, and you might not want to bring your wives …

There were about 100 guests and 20 prostitutes were hired.

A German business newspaper said the prostitutes had worn colour-coded arm-bands designating their availability, and the women had their arms stamped after each service rendered.

Wonder what those stamps look like …

According to [the newspaper] Handelsblatt, quoting an unnamed participant, guests were able to take the women to four-poster beds at the spa “and do whatever they liked”.

“There were also women with white wrist bands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps.”

What did the company have to say about the party?

A spokesman for Ergo told the BBC that the party had happened, but said it was not the usual way of rewarding their employees.

This will not help in recruiting salesmen. Perhaps “no comment” would have been better … Here’s the source.

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Assuming everything this woman says is true, you just have to scratch your head. As reported by www.timesonline (Beaver, Pennsylvania):

The owner of a Moon Township landscaping business has been charged with exposing himself to a female passenger in his car. Moon police have charged 72-year-old Armando Zucchero of 233 Ewings Mill Road, owner of Zucchero Landscaping, by mail with indecent exposure.

So what happened?

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Clearly this lady is not cut out to be a school bus driver. Why? Well, as reported by The Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Florida) …

A school bus driver has been fired for defecating on school grounds and encouraging a student to drop his pants and “moon” other students through the bus window.

Maureen Butler, 50, also reportedly admitted to district investigators that high-school students threw condoms and tampons on her bus that were found later by elementary school children.

A fine example for the youngsters. You can read a fair amount more here. And yes, she was fired.

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Have you heard of license plate readers? They are attached to police cars, and automatically run license plates through databases. Wonder if this guy knew about the pervasive use of this technology? He does now. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Department Blotter:

Officer Podpora was on routine patrol in the parking lot at Walmart. He was driving an unmarked cruiser equipped with the License Plate Reader, which alerted on a stolen vehicle. The vehicle was occupied by one male. The male was in possesion of drug paraphernalia and .7 grams methamphetamine. The vehicle was returned to the owner.The suspect was taken to CJC for Theft by Receiving and the drug charges.

Here’s an example of a license plate reader.

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Can you begin a life of crime while still in diapers? The short answer is, it Depends. (Get it!) But seriously, a baby was involved in the commission of a crime. How, you ask? Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

A New Hampshire woman has been indicted for hiding cigarettes in her baby’s diaper before handing the baby to an inmate during a prison visit.

Snap! What are the charges for that?

Forty-five-year-old Wendy Parent of Belmont was charged with delivering contraband to a prisoner – a Class B felony punishable by up to seven years in prison.

First of all, “Parent?” Of course her name is “Parent.” Second, 7 years? That would be a little harsh for trying to pass some cigarettes. What about the inmate?

The inmate has not been charged and his identity and relationship to the baby have not been released by prison officials.

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In some ways, The Juice is like a comedian hoping the buffoon gets elected so he’ll have good material. Well, folks like this will keep The Juice knee-deep in oranges for years to come. Here’s yet another example of a time-wasting prosecution of an f-bomb case. The Juice has two words for these folks: First Amendment. As reported by KJZZ (Arizona):

A Mohave County man convicted of trespassing for wearing an obscenity-laced T-shirt to a Board of Supervisors meeting has lost another round in court. KJZZ’s Al Macias reports.

Just remember, he lost a “round.” He’ll win the fight.

KJZZ first told you about Mervin Fried in March of this year. A justice court found him guilty of trespassing in February after wearing a shirt with obscenities to the Mohave County Board of Supervisors meeting. Fried had maintained that he wore the T-shirt to express his opinion of the board’s decision to increase the county tax rate.

What did the shirt say? On the front, it said “Fuck The Tax.” On the back was the paraphrasing of quote from Supreme Court Justice Harlan from the case of Cohen v. California:

“One Man’s Obscenity is Another’s Lyric.” Harlan

What law was Mr. Fried accused of violating?

A Superior Court judge recently upheld the trespassing conviction, saying the county’s dress code specifically prohibits vulgar messages.

Fried told the Kingman Daily Miner that he plans another appeal.

And he’ll win.

Fried now is running for a seat on the Board of Supervisors.

Here’s the source. Here’s an earlier story, which includes much more detail, and photos of Mr. Fried’s shirt.