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If you’re thinking this Crestview, Florida woman hid the shoes on her person, you’re right. In her coat? Nope. Pants? Nope … As reported by NWFDailyNews.com:

A Nov. 29 video surveillance showed the woman take clothing and pass them to the man, according to an arrest report from the Crestview Police Department. The man rolled each item and passed them back to the woman.

The woman hid a pair of shoes under her breasts. She hid the rest of the items in her purse.

Really? Under her breasts? Those were either some really small shoes or …

The man was also seen selecting items, rolling them and handing them to the woman. He concealed one pair of pants inside his pants.

Quite the pair, no?

The couple was caught outside of the store and escorted to the back until police arrived. With an officer as a witness, the loss prevention officer asked the couple to return the items they took.

They were each charged with retail theft, a misdemeanor.

Click here for the source.

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You did. You just jacked that little girl’s Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida’s nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.

How’d they get caught?

Notified of the theft by an in-law, the victim offered to not go to the police if the thief would return the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep within 24 hours.

A nice offer but …

The Barbie Power Wheel Jeep had already been sold, according to the police report.

So …

The victim went to the police.

Here’s the source.

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The answer is “yes,” one man can stop a speeding locomotive. Is it a good idea? Nope. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 26-year-old man accused Thursday of standing on railroad tracks in the area of Northeast Palmetto Drive and causing a train to make an emergency stop was arrested, according to an affidavit released Friday.

Joseph Robert Fabrey was arrested by a Martin County Sheriff’s deputy on a felony unauthorized person interfering with railroad train charge and a misdemeanor trespass on property charge.

The train conductor pointed to Fabrey and said he stood in the middle of the railroad tracks as the train approached. The engineer repeatedly used the horn and had to stop the train.

A worker identified as an assistant road master said Fabrey was standing on the tracks and stepped off “at the last minute,” according to the report.

Yikes. A felony. And the defense?

Fabrey … denied standing on the tracks.

No doubt that defense will prevail against the engineer and the assistant road master … Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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What kind of person would rough up a swan? Well, this kind of person, as reported by myfoxorlando.com:

A man is behind bars after police say he roughed up a swan. John Wynne is accused of grabbing a swan by the neck from Lake Eola. Orlando Police arrested him for animal cruelty and grand theft. He is being held in the Orange County Jail on $1,000.00 bond.

Totally uncool. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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The Juice has not had a “booth” dance (uh, yeah, sure, right), but he can’t believe a stripper would give one without getting the cashish first. Well this stripper did, unfortunately for all parties concerned. As reported by cnews.canoe.ca:

A stripper will spend the next nine months in jail for smashing a beer bottle over the head of a customer who refused to pay her. Tamara Valcourt was sentenced this week for the Dec. 1 attack at the Chez Venus bar.

Crown prosecutor Julie Gagne said Valcourt attacked the man as he was leaving the strip club without paying the $100 he owed for a booth dance.

“The defendant struck the victim with a beer bottle,” said Gagne. “(He was hit) behind the ear and suffered a deep, four-centimetre cut.”

The Crown and the defence [she pleaded guilty] agreed that Valcourt should serve an additional nine months on top of the 36 days already served. She was also slapped with two years’ probation and has been barred from the Venus club.

Any priors? Well …

The judge took into account the stripper’s prior criminal record that included convictions for obstructing police in 2006 and assault in 2007.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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Just to be clear, we’re talking about using chalk to write on the sidewalk. In Orlando, that can land you in jail. Really. Just ask Timothy Osmar. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Just before Christmas, OPD [Orlando Police Department] arrested 25-year-old Timothy Osmar for “writing or painting advertising matter on streets or sidewalks”

The criminal “advertising” in question? Slogans like “Justice Equals Liberty.”

Advertisting? Really? UFB, as is this …

As of Friday, Osmar was still in jail ..

Through Christmas and New Year’s! Mayor Dyer?

Dyer’s office was unapologetic, saying city codes clearly outlaw chalk writing.

Please, tell me this guy isn’t a lawyer. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Even for those who believe in Karma, The Juice doubts you think it’s this instantaneous. How instantaneous? Check out this dude who tried to skip out on his bar tab, as reported by www.phillyburbs.com:

Police said the man, who may be from Honduras, was asked to leave the Sandbar [in New Hope, Pennsylvania] shortly after 6 p.m. Saturday. He was handed his bill and asked to pay, but after receiving the bill ran out the back door, police said. He fled across Waterloo Street and somehow fell over a wall onto water covered rocks below.

The man, whose name was not released Saturday night, was pulled from an area of the shoreline not easily accessible from above by a team of firefighters aboard a rescue boat. He was brought to shore and taken to St. Mary Medical Center in Middletown.

Do you believe?

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Hmmm. The Juice was working on this post and thought this name sounded familiar, so he checked the archives of 1,854 Legal Juice posts and found this one about Judge Willie F. Singletary. The story on philly.com was now not so surprising.

The state Supreme Court yesterday canned Philadelphia Traffic Court Judge Willie F. Singletary, suspending him without pay after he allegedly showed a woman cellphone pictures of his genitalia two weeks ago.

Yikes.

But this isn’t the first time Singletary has made headlines. In 2007 his driver’s license was suspended for unpaid tickets [a BOATLOAD of them – see Juice post above], and two years later he was reprimanded for promising favors in exchange for campaign donations.

That’s quite a record in just the past 5 years.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court ordered that Singletary be “relieved of any and all judicial and administrative responsibilities as a judge of the Philadelphia Traffic Court.”

Might consider another line of work.

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Is it just me, or does “Friday” evoke positive thoughts for you too? For most folks, it’s the end of the work week, and the beginning of the weekend. Well sir, an Italian court took a different view of “Friday.” As reported by the BBC News:

Italy’s top court has banned a couple from naming their son Venerdi (Friday), saying such a “ridiculous” name could expose the boy to mockery.

That’s not all, though.

The judges also ordered that the boy be renamed Gregorio – after the saint’s day on which he was born.

What the hell is going on in Italy? Do you think the parent should appeal? This was the appeal!

The Cassation Court upheld earlier rulings by lower courts that Friday was too reminiscent of the name of Robinson Crusoe’s native servant in the classic shipwreck novel.

And what’s up with my Italian brethren?

Gian Ettore Gassani of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers backed the ruling.

Not cool. Here’s the source.

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We’re not talking about texting here. We’re talking about kissing. As reported by the Arab Times:

Police [in Kuwait City] have arrested an unidentified couple for committing immoral act inside a car.
It has been reported a police patrol was passing by and saw the couple in an embrace. They were kissing each other and were not even aware that a police patrol was driving in their direction.

Kissing! Oh the humanity!