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Maybe this lady has legitimate beefs with her boyfriend. But the way she chose to deal with the situation, well, it bites. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

On Aug. 17 an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy was called to a Colonial Drive apartment after learning of a domestic dispute.

The victim, who has lived with the woman for about six months, said she began yelling at him because she thought he was looking at other women, and was ignoring her to play video games. She became so angry she started throwing things around the house.

He said she charged him, and he grabbed her wrists to protect himself from her. “The defendent then leaned in and bit the victim on the left side of his chest near his arm pit,” the deputy wrote in the arrest report.

Ouch! While it probably wasn’t “a pound of flesh,” no doubt the vic would say it was plenty.

She was charged with misdemeanor battery. Her court date is Sept. 4.

Here’s the source.

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Has 7-Eleven gone upscale lately? If not, then what on earth did this man buy? As reported by The Burlington County Times (Pennsylvania):

Police are searching for a man who bought more than $1,600 worth of items from 7-Eleven with stolen credit cards.

The man went to the convenience store on Route 73 shortly after 5 a.m. Friday and used the cards to buy $1,633 worth of merchandise, police said Tuesday.

The man’s image was captured by video surveillance equipment at the store. At the time, he was wearing a red Nike baseball cap, white T-shirt, blue jeans, and red and white sneakers. (See above.)


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Judges say the darndest things. Take the case of the Honorable Gary W. Velie, a Superior Court judge in Clallam County, Washington. Back in 1988, in response to a complaint, he admitted “the use of racist and sexist language and embarrassing jokes.” Not only was he not reprimanded, the complaint was dismissed “based upon [his] willingness to take corrective action.” But … sometime the next year … per The Commission on Judicial Conduct of the State of Washington,

[Judge Velie] made a remark to attorney John Doherty in open court and in front of court report Penny Wolfe and clerk Tammy Woolridge that he [Doherty] looked like he had been “jacking off a bobcat in a phone booth.” [The Juice is trying to imagine that level of dishevelment.]

In 1990, during the armed conflict between the United States and Iraq, [Judge Velie] remarked: “Nuke the sand niggers” in reference to [his] solution to the Mid-East crisis. The comment was made in the presence of others in the clerk’s office coffee room in the courthouse.

While viewing a property in the course of his duties, with two attorneys in his car, Judge Velie “stated that ‘Johnny,’ a defendant in an old case, “had gone crazy from sucking too many cocks.”

And there were a few others, like the time where he said, in open court, that he knows there are not many starving people. It’s just that “there’s a lot of them too stupid to cook what they are given… In other words, if you don’t give them a Kraft dinner with the instructions written on the box, you give them other normal food, they don’t know how to cook it.”

So, what do you think happened this time? Suspension?

Continue reading →

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It’s just a bad idea to leave your car unlocked, period. It’s an even worse idea to leave your car unlocked with dangerous items in it. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 48-year-old man told Port St. Lucie police Tuesday he discovered his throwing knife, sheath, .40 caliber pistol and magazines missing from his 2003 Toyota Corolla, according to a police report released Wednesday.

He said he left his vehicle Monday in the driveway of his home in the 2700 block of Southwest District Avenue. The vehicle, he told police, was not locked.


As he walked up to his house after noticing the items missing, he saw a plastic bag with writing. The writing stated, “LOADED GUN Unlocked Car = STUPID!!” The bag’s other side read, “LOTS OF Children in area.”

The man saw his handgun and knife were inside, though 30 cartridges were missing.

Master Sgt. Frank Sabol, police spokesman, said Wednesday the person responsible could face charges including armed burglary and theft.

Good luck getting a conviction on that one. Here’s the source, which includes photos of the bag and its messages.

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When you think of road rage, you think about aggressive driving, or maybe even someone pulling a weapon, right? But this? You would not think of this. Ever. Per BeeNews.com (New York):

Police responded to a road rage incident on Union Road. Reportedly, two motorists were spitting on each other after following each other around town.

The Juice can think of worse ways to settle disputes.

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There comes a time in every thief’s life … Okay, so a lot of thieves won’t just come clean. But seriously dude – cut a deal. Next time you’ll turn the iPad off, or at least its location services. As reported by The Canberra Times (Australia):

A court has been asked to decide whether a man trying to find his allegedly stolen iPad was acting unlawfully when he tracked it down to a north Canberra townhouse using Apple’s anti-theft app and a GPS.

Police, acting on the man’s information, allegedly discovered the iPad and a cache of stolen items at the Forde house where 49-year-old Alden Harder lived.

Don’t draw any comparisons to “the decider,” but The Juice would not even take this under advisement. What’s the “lame defense” referenced in the post’s title?

Mr Harder’s lawyer has argued the man physically trespassed on his client’s property while searching for the iPad and had also committed ”trespass via radio wave” when he activated an alarm on the device while it was inside Mr Harder’s house.

Mr Harder has not been charged with any offence.


On Monday, police applied to the ACT Magistrates Court for a forensic procedures order, asking for the man to submit to fingerprinting.

Mr Harder is fighting the order.

Police allege the iPad was stolen from a house that was under construction in Braddon on May 24 but the theft wasn’t reported until three days later.

They say the owner used Apple’s in-built Find My iPad service and his GPS to track down the iPad to Mr Harder’s townhouse in Forde on May 25. He walked around the property and looked in a window.

Find My iPad allows users to remotely track their missing or stolen iPad via GPS and to send messages, trigger an alarm or wipe their device.


The man went to police with the information but was apparently unable to elicit action.

The court heard the man went back to the townhouse a second time on May 29 and used the app to remotely trigger the alarm on the iPad, which he then heard ringing inside the garage.

Police then obtained a search warrant for Mr Harder’s house.

They allegedly discovered the iPad and a haul of other items, including laptops and a police officer’s badge, which were said to have been stolen from as far back as 2009.


The court heard police wanted to take Mr Harder’s fingerprints to see if they matched prints taken from the scene of the iPad theft and another burglary.

But Mr Harder’s lawyer Paul Edmonds argued the search was based on evidence which was obtained unlawfully because the man trespassed on his client’s property while walking round the townhouse.

Blah, blah, blah. The Juice is with the prosecutor on this one.

But prosecutor Keegan Lee dismissed that argument as ”an absurd expansion of the definition of a trespass”.

Mr Lee said if electronic transmission were a trespass then ”I would safely say nearly everybody in this courtroom has committed that act by having a wireless router” that transmitted Wi-Fi internet through their homes and into their neighbours’ property.

Boom! Here’s the source.

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Is it really a “car chase” if the suspect isn’t speeding, but just refuses to pull over? While you’re pondering that, here’s the story, as reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

On Aug. 9 the deputy saw a Mitsubishi traveling south on Beal Parkway with no tag light. He activated his overhead lights at Lincoln Drive and Shady Lane.

The driver failed to stop and continued down Lincoln Drive to Auburn Road. He then turned left on Auburn, traveling south, and then turned right onto Riverside, then right onto Maine Avenue. He pulled into a driveway and parked the Mitsubishi.

The officer noted the man, identified as Matthew Allen Birr of Fort Walton Beach, traveled 4/10ths of a mile from the point where the deputy activated his lights to where he stopped.

Okay buddy – what gives?

Birr told the deputy he didn’t want to stop because he was afraid he’d get a DUI. The deputy noted his speed never exceeded 30 mph.

Like most problems that you ignore, this one didn’t go away.

He was charged with felony fleeing and eluding. His court date was Sept. 9.

No DUI! Doh! Here’s the source.

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Hey, if you don’t like the service, tip accordingly. These three ladies, dining at a Red Lobster in Fairview Heights, Illinois, decided on a different approach. Big mistake. As reported by The Bellevue News-Democrat:

Three Red Lobster customers were charged Saturday in connection with aggravated battery at the Fairview Heights restaurant.

The three women, all from Belleville, were accused of throwing water on an employee Friday and striking her several times with their hands and a menu, according to Detective Tim Mueller with the Fairview Heights Police Department.

A waitress beat down? Not cool at all, ladies.

The following suspects each were charged with mob action and aggravated battery in a public place: Sharrell A. Evans, 21, of 5819 Bret Michael Drive;Britley L. Green, 22, of 7003 Gary Drive; and Geneen L. Green, 44, of 7003 Gary Drive.

Bail for each suspect was set at $50,000. They remain in custody at the Fairview Heights Police Department until arraignment.

As for the “why?”

Police have not been determined what prompted the dispute.

Here’s the source that, sadly, has no mug shots.

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Girls wanted to get their manicure on. Totally fine. Not paying for it, and worse? (you’ll have to read below) – totally uncool. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel

Ty Nguyen called police around 2:45 p.m. Thursday after the three teens ran from MD Nails on Claracona Ocoee Road after having their nails done. The girls arrived at the nail salon and asked to have sets of acrylic nails applied, Nguyen told the Orlando Sentinel.

When the $60 manicures were finished, the teens — a 15-year-old and two 17-year-olds who the Sentinel is not naming because they are minors — refused to pay, according to police.

Not cool, but check this out:

Nguyen said he chased after the teens and that’s when the 15-year-old girl pulled out a pink Taser and shocked him.

Since they weren’t named, you’ve probably figured out that these little ladies got busted. How?

Nguyen, who photographed the teens as they ran and even as one pulled out the Taser, jumped in his car, followed them to a nearby apartment complex and called 911 to report the attack and the $180 theft.

A property manager at the Waterstone Apartments, in the 5200 block of Long Road, was shown a picture of the three girls and immediately recognized them. Officers were shown the apartment where at least one teen lived.

You do NOT mess with Mr. Nguyen!

As officers approached the unit they hear what sounded like “several juveniles yelling,” reports show. But when officers knocked on the door and announced their presence, the noise stopped.

The teens refused to open the door for at least 20 minutes when an adult resident arrived at the home with a key. Officers found the three teen suspects and several other juveniles inside the apartment, reports show.

Think they came clean?

The 15-year-old told officers she “did not pay for her manicure because someone else was supposed to pay,” and shouted, “I didn’t tase anyone!” reports show.

Officers arrested the trio and charged them with aggravated battery with a weapon, resisting a merchant and petty theft. They were booked into the Juvenile Assessment Center and the Taser was confiscated.

You had the Taser! Aaargh. Here’s the source.