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So you’re saying that stealing a $1 soda can lead to a felony charge? Well, yeah. Here’s how, as reported by the Naples Daily News:

After filling a courtesy cup with soda Thursday at the McDonald’s soda fountain and then leaving the restaurant, Mark Abaire, 52, of the 500 block of 14th Street North, was arrested by Collier deputies and now faces a felony theft charge, a sheriff’s report shows.

Really? A felony?

A manager told sheriff’s deputies that Abaire entered the store and asked for a glass of water around 10 p.m. Although the employee told him the cup was for water, Abaire filled it with soda at a fountain machine and sat outside the restaurant, according to an arrest report.

During a conversation with the manager, Abaire declined to pay for the soda, valued at $1, refused to leave the premises, and cursed at the manager, the report stated.

Okay, wrong, uncool, but a felony? Please explain.

While his charge is petty theft, because of previous petty theft convictions, the charge for drinking the unpaid-for soda was increased from a misdemeanor to a felony, the arrest report shows. In Florida, a third-degree felony can result in a sentence of up to 5 years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

Seems a little harsh, even for an enhancement, no? And to add to this gent’s woes …

Abaire faces additional misdemeanor counts of trespassing and disorderly intoxication. On Saturday, he remained in the Collier County jail with bond set at $6,500.

You’ll find the source, and a mug shot, here.

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How could The Juice possibly know that people in Wyoming were fishing with guns? Well, do you think they would have passed a law prohibiting it if nobody was doing it? Exactly! Here’s the law:

23-3-201. Fishing tackle; designation of waters for setline fishing; taking fish with firearm prohibited; snagging; penalties.

… (d) No person shall take, wound or destroy any fish of Wyoming with a firearm of any kind or nature.

Very sporting, right? And so much fun! Here’s the source.

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What in tarnation was going on in this Sacramento, California apartment? See if you can figure it out. From The Sacramento Bee:

Police attempted to serve a warrant on Fairfield Avenue. 
Officers said that they 
heard a woman talking inside the apartment, and they 
knocked, identified 
themselves as police officers and asked to speak to the 
woman. A man inside 
replied that she wasn’t there, but they could come back 
later. Officers again heard 
a woman inside and re-identified themselves, adding that 
if the occupants did 
not open the door, it would be forced open. After the 
residents again refused to 
open the door, it was forced open, and the woman was 
found talking to police 
and reporting that someone was trying to break into her 
apartment.

Uh… Sorry, wrong number.

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Fond of jail? Crime addict? Whatever the reason, a Tampa, Florida man wasted no time getting back on the wrong side of the law. As reported by the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office:

On April 14, 2012 at approximately 4:22 p.m., Marcus Wayne Hunt was released from Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office jail after posting bond. Tampa Police Department had arrested Hunt earlier the same day on charges of Fleeing and Attempting to Elude Police and No Valid Driver’s License.

Wait for it (it won’t be long) …

Approximately sixteen minutes after his release from jail, Hunt approached a victim in the area of 78th Street and Gray Moss Lane. Hunt struck the victim in the face and took the victim’s bicycle, valued at $190.00.

Boom! 16 minutes!

Detectives were able to identify and issue a warrant for Hunt in connection with the April 14 incident. He was taken into custody on April 17 at approximately 11:29 a.m. at 8708 Fish Lake Road.

This is pretty shocking for a man with no criminal … wait … what’s that?

Hunt has an extensive criminal history and was released from prison December 2011.

Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

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If you like McDonald’s iced tea, stop reading now. Remember, The Juice warned you. As reported by wsoctv.com:

Greenville County deputies say a McDonald’s employee spit in the iced tea of two customers after they returned them saying the drinks weren’t sweet enough.

You were warned. What’s the evidence?

Investigators say surveillance video caught 19-year-old Marvin Washington Jr. leaning over the cups before he filled them at the Simpsonville restaurant on Saturday.

Authorities say the customers discovered the phlegm when they removed the lids of the drinks to put more sugar in because the second glasses also weren’t sweet enough.

Can you imagine watching that video in slow motion? Yikes.

The McDonald’s owner says he follows stringent food safety procedures and asked people not to reach conclusions until all the facts come out.

So, lax food safety procedures would allow spitting in drinks?

Washington was arrested Wednesday and charged with malicious tampering with food. He could face up to 20 years in prison if found guilty. It wasn’t clear if he had a lawyer.

Up to 20 years? That’s just idiotic. Here’s the source.

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The good news? No injuries. The bad news (for this young man, anyway – good for the rest of us)? This young man is in the soup. As reported by the Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

Police responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle on Route 523 in Readington. The vehicle was found to be in reverse, with the engine running, and when police nudged [Matthew] Kelly [19] to see if he was awake, the man’s foot slid off the brake pedal and the vehicle rolled backwards into a tree.

Yikes. Surely that must have awakened him?

Kelly was still asleep after striking the tree, police said.

Police did manage to awaken him, after which he was …

…charged with careless driving, driving while intoxicated and being under the influence of a controlled dangerous substance.

Here’s the source.

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Either this was the worst bank robbery ever, or there’s something we don’t yet know. As reported by The Belleville [Illinois] News-Democrat:

[Jeffery C. Bell, 56, and Rita L. Bell, 58] entered Scott Credit Union, 648 Carlyle Ave., at about 10 a.m. Thursday and demanded money from a teller, who gave them an unidentified amount of cash out of the drawer, according to police.

So far, just your run-of-the-mill bank robbery.

Then the Bells went into the manager’s office and asked her to call police.

Say what?

Police responded to the credit union and arrested the Bells. No weapon was ever displayed or implied during the robbery.

Belleville Police Capt. John Moody did not know the pair’s relationship or why they requested the police be called. Asked whether he ever encountered a similar case, Moody said, “No, it’s the first. (But) I’ve seen all kinds of things.”

And to make it a little stranger …

Moody said the motive for the robbery, which coincided with Jeffery Bell’s birthday, was under investigation.

Happy birthday!

… both … were charged Friday with robbery, police said. Their bail was set at $70,000 each.

You’ll find the source here.

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Can it really be a crime to father or have a second child? If it’s your second illegitimate child, and you’re subject to Mississippi law, then yes. As set forth in the Mississippi Code:

SEC. 97-29-11. Illegitimate children; person becoming natural parent of second illegitimate child; jurisdiction.

(1) If any person, who shall have previously become the natural parent of an illegitimate child within or without this state by coition within or without this state, shall again become the natural parent of an illegitimate child born within this state, he or she shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction thereof, shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for not less than thirty (30) days nor more than ninety (90) days or by a fine of not more than Two Hundred Fifty Dollars ($250.00), or both. A subsequent conviction hereunder shall be punishable by imprisonment in the county jail for not less than three (3) months nor more than six (6) months or by a fine of not more than Five Hundred Dollars ($500.00), or both. Provided, however, that for the purpose of this section, multiple births shall be construed to be the birth of one (1) child.

(2) The circuit court of the county in which said illegitimate child is born shall have jurisdiction of any action brought under this section. No male person shall be convicted solely on the uncorroborated testimony of the female person giving birth to the child.

 

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Although words can cause a lot more pain than a physical injury, a 21-year-old man who called a woman “fat” might disagree. As reported by the Lincoln [Nebraska] Journal Star:

Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn’t like being called “fat.” Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said officers were called to a Lincoln hospital around 3:25 a.m. Wednesday to talk to the injured man.

Flood said officers later learned that the injured man and two others had been arguing with other people at the birthday party. Flood says the man told 21-year-old Anna Godfrey that she was fat.

Officers said Godfrey then tackled the man and took a bite.

And what about the ear?

Flood said the ear chunk was not found.

Zoinks. The charge?

Godfrey was arrested on suspicion of felony assault and remained in custody Wednesday.

To the South Park fans out there, remember, words are like bullets.

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The Juice has the utmost respect for police officers. But, just as there are lawyers who do bad things, such is the case with police officers too. But there are no dashboard cameras for lawyers… Unfortunately for this baton-wielding officer (see below, at the 15 second mark), his dashboard camera was up and running. He was subsequently fired, criminally charged, and convicted, which you can read about here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1joImpo4l0

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