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Driving an ice cream truck must get really boring, really fast. One man found a way to make it a little less boring, though clearly a LOT more dangerous. As reported by fox59.com:

An Indianapolis man was arrested last Saturday in Mooresville for allegedly driving an ice cream truck while under the influence.

Clarel Padgett, 58, was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated, as well as operating a vehicle with a blood alcohol content of .15 or more, both Class A misdemeanors.

Over .15? Wo.

According to court documents, a woman called police, reporting she could smell alcoholic beverages on the ice cream truck driver.

The chase was on! Okay, it wasn’t much of a chase.

An officer with the Mooresville Police Department responded to the area where the truck was reported to be and issued a traffic stop.

… the officer could smell the odor of alcohol coming from the truck. The officer also noted Padgett had “bloodshot and glassy eyes and slurred his words when he spoke.”

The officer conducted several sobriety tests, before Padgett requested to take a breath test. Padgett blew a .19 BAC, more than twice the legal limit.

Snap! .19 is some serious drinking.

Padgett was transported to the police department for a certified breath test. There, Padgett’s BAC read .24.

Say what?! .24?! Yikes.

A female passenger in the truck was also arrested and charged with public intoxication. Padgett and the passenger were transported to the Morgan County Jail.

Here’s the source, including Mr. Padgett’s mug shot.

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Sadly, Michiganders, you are now on notice of this law, though you were previously bound by it nonetheless. Here’s the law:

436.201 Drunkenness on train prohibited.

No person shall while in an offensive state of intoxication enter or be on or remain upon any railway train or interurban car as a passenger.

Putting aside that The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, nevertheless, he’s convinced he could mount a strong defense for anyone charged under this law based on a single word – “offensive.” Drunk? Hell yeah. But not offensively so. Case dismissed. Here’s a link to the law.

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Of course vehicles get stolen all the time. You report it to your insurance. They send you a check… This gent probably did that, but he didn’t stop there. He’s pissed! As reported by www.kens5.com (San Antonio, Texas):

On March 10, Daryl McClain’s truck was stolen from his home in the 5700 block of Clearwood. So what did he do?

He tagged his own house, and neighbors say he did not keep the message clean.

“I speak my mind,” McClain boasted outside his tagged garage door. “Most people keep it in.”

What does it say?

“To the mother f—– that stole my truck. You are a dead man. 2K NQA.”

That last part means that Mr. McClain is offering a $2,000 reward, no questions asked (NQA). Some neighbors are not happy, especially with the “word” f—–.

“What is wrong with the guy across the street?” asked Roy Patty. “It’s like a parade route. Everybody comes by. I take pride in my house.”

“I’d never come home and do something like that because I was mad,” said Patty. “Children shouldn’t be able to read something like that.”

But McClain sees it differently. “That’s why I didn’t spell it out,” he said. “Code Compliance says I’m not doing a thing wrong.” Then he said, “It’s freedom of speech.”

Is Mr. McClain correct? Yup.

According to the San Antonio Police Department, McClain is not breaking the law.

SAPD spokesman Matt Porter said McClain did not use profanity, because he did not spell out the expletive. Also, he says according to homicide detectives, McClain did not threaten anyone specifically. Finally, the city is not allowed to regulate what people paint on their homes.

Here’s the source, including a photo of the tagged garage doors, and a video news story.

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We’ve all heard a story about someone mistakenly thinking somebody is pregnant. The Juice will wager you haven’t heard of anything remotely similar to this. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A woman told police a dispute began after Jessie Mae Dorsey told her she was pregnant but she said she was “just getting fat.”

Awkward. But okay? Nope, not okay. Here’s how it went down:

“I’ve had five kids, I know how you walk when you’re pregnant,” Dorsey is quoted as saying.

The victim said she was “just getting fat,” and told police Dorsey walked toward her.

“Who the (expletive) are you catching an attitude with,” Dorsey is quoted as saying.

“You,” the victim said.

Dorsey is then accused of lobbing a cinder block chunk at the victim, hitting her head. Dorsey jumped on her, pulled her hair and bit her face.

The man walking with the victim pulled Dorsey off, and Dorsey beat feet.

Um, dude, think you could have jumped in a little sooner? And Ms. Dorsey, you bit her face! After you insulted her!

The victim had teeth marks on her face and bumps on her head.

Dorsey, 46, was arrested [for aggravated battery] March 16 on a warrant stemming from the … fracas … in Fort Pierce.

Go figure. Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Dorsey.

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People wanted to park, and these gents charged them. What’s the problem? Well, it helps if you own the parking lot! As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

Two men collected about $100 charging for parking over the weekend at Chasco Fiesta. Only they didn’t own the land. The city does.

Doh! And guess whose headquarters [that’s a hint] are right down the street?

Michael John Roberts II told an officer he wasn’t actually taking money from people so they could park on the public lot at Central Avenue and Adams Street, just down the street from the New Port Richey Police Department headquarters. He said “he was only charging people to ‘watch their vehicle,'” said Roberts, 24, according to a police report.

Brilliant!

Roberts and his friend, Michael Wayne Manis, 28, collected money Saturday and Sunday before they were caught, the report states. They charged $2 for three hours of parking and $5 for all day, plus $1 for water.

Both men were arrested and charged with scheme to defraud. Manis, of New Port Richey, was released Sunday from the Pasco jail on $150 bail. Roberts, of Hudson, remained Monday in the jail in lieu of $150 bail.

You’ll find the source here.

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How does someone just up and lay claim to a street? When it’s abandoned by the city, and reclaimed, but the documents are never filed in the land records, that’s how. Unfortunately for Mullinville, Kansas, Mr. M.T. Liggett learned of this and took action. As reported by kwch.com:

Head north on Elm Street in Mullinville and you’ll hit a road block–a series of them actually.  It’s not the city that has closed that stretch of road–it’s M.T. Liggett. He says he owns it.

Liggett says the street is vacated property and therefore belongs to adjacent landowners including himself. Traffic can still pass through on the east side of the street–the side Liggett says his neighbor owns. The situation is not causing a traffic jam, but Mayor Andy Kimble says it’s far from an ideal situation.

“It’s a fifty to one hundred-year technicality that could have been taken care of quietly, but now we’ve got what we’ve got,” Kimble says.

Quietly? Good luck with that. Here’s Mr. Liggett:

“I’ll tell you what–if they want it back, they know where the court house is,” Liggett says. “It’s ten miles to the east!”

Here’s the backstory:

The mayor says that stretch of Elm is among three blocks of street the city abandoned back in 1908. A 1949 ordinance reopened the road, but Kimble says the change was never registered at the courthouse.

“It’s been plowed when it snows, it’s been grated when it’s muddy, it’s been mowed–all at city expense,” Kimble says.

The mayor says that stretch of Elm has been treated like every other city street up until Liggett got wind of the descrepancy and put up the barricades.

The mayor says the city council will discuss solutions to this situation at its next meeting.  He says he hopes to arrive at the friendliest solution possible.

Hahahaha. Here’s the source.

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What’s in a name? Plenty, if you’re talking about beer names and the Michigan Liquor Control Commission. You’re in trouble when the standard you’re using, as here, is whether the product is “deemed … to be detrimental to the health, safety or welfare of the general public.” A little vague, perhaps?

As reported by www.mlive.com:

Flying Dog Brewery is suing the state Liquor Control Commission, alleging the agency is censoring its free speech by rejecting labels for the bottler’s “Raging Bitch” 20th Anniversary India Pale Ale.

So Michigan has a problem with “Raging Bitch” beer. What Flying Dog beers has it okayed, you might be wondering?

[Flying Dog] markets approved labels, including “Doggie Style” Classic Pale Ale [and] “In Heat Wheat” Hefeweizen Ale … at many chain and specialty stores in West Michigan.

And don’t forget about this one …

… the state has allowed sales of alcoholic beverages with a vulgar term on the label. Among those are a Grand Rapids brew “Dirty Bastard,” crafted by Founders.

If you’re wondering why “Doggie Style,” “In Heat Wheat,” and “Dirty Bastard” are okay but “Raging Bitch” isn’t, The Juice also wonders. To read a lot more, including Flying Dog’s connection to Hunter S. Thompson, click here.

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Here’s how short this woman’s tenure at her new job was: Welcome Casi! You’re under arrest. Doh! As reported by The Beacon-News:

An Aurora woman has been accused of stealing a designer handbag from a resale shop in Naperville — on the day before she was to start a new job there. Casi L. Biggiam, 27, is charged with retail theft.

Biggiam was arrested March 14, the day she was to report for work at Plato’s Closet, Naperville police said. The store is in the Naper West Plaza, across from the Westfield Fox Valley mall in Aurora.

What was her shoplifting technique? It’s probably one resale shops have seen before.

Police said Biggiam went to the shop about 5:30 p.m. March 13 to sell articles of used clothing and accessories. A red Coach purse was one of the items Biggiam allegedly presented to a clerk. After being given the total of what the store would pay for her goods, Biggiam said she would keep the handbag and accept payment for the other items, police said.

As crimes go, not too stupid, accept for the part about returning to the scene of the crime.

Employees contacted police after determining the purse had been part of their inventory. Police said Biggiam had stolen the bag, which had been on display in the shop.

As for how that first day went …

A police officer and store management confronted Biggiam the next day, when she reported to work for the first time, police said.

Here’s the source.

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Unlike some folks out there, The Juice is not about denigrating women. The “dog” in question is actually a dog.

As reported by The Helena Independent Record: At about 11:30 p.m. [on March 1], East Helena police responded to a report of an intoxicated dog being cared for at Smith’s Bar and found Arly II, a Pomeranian or Pomeranian cross, who could not walk a straight line and kept falling over when placed on the floor, according to an affidavit filed by police in District Court.

An intoxicated person who claimed part ownership of the 20-pound dog told police that ]Todd Harold] Schrier [age 49] had given the dog about a “to-go cup of vodka,” police wrote.

Police took the dog to Alpine Animal Clinic, where veterinarian Dr. Michelle Richardson drew blood and sent it to St. Peter’s Hospital, which found a blood-alcohol level of 0.348 percent. The legal limit for driving is 0.08 percent.

Richardson said alcohol affects dogs similar to the way it affects humans. An alcohol level of 0.4 percent can be fatal in humans.

What about Mr. Schrier?

Police caught up with Schrier at the VFW in East Helena and say they found a bag of hydrocodone pills on the ground outside where he had been standing smoking, leading to the [felony] drug charge. He is also on probation for a pair of previous drug charges.

Schrier is in the city-county jail with bail at $30,000. He is scheduled for an initial appearance in District Court today.

Looks like Arly II will have the last laugh. Here’s the source.

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How crazy is this guy? Or, wow, I didn’t know copper prices were that high! As reported by The Salisbury Post (North Carolina):

A thief pulled a fast one on the Department of Corrections Sunday night after police said someone broke into a minimum-security prison, stole copper and escaped.

Ouch. That’s embarrassing.

Authorities believe someone climbed a fence at 3750 South Main Street at the Piedmont Correctional Institution and “dismantled an A/C unit and stole the copper out of it,” the incident report said.

This raises the question: “Is there a category below ‘minimum-security’ for prisons?”

Salisbury Police are investigating the incident, Capt. Shelia Lingle said, but no one has been arrested.

Here’s the source.