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Perhaps the only time it’s safe to laugh in open court is when the judge does. A North Carolina man thought otherwise, and paid for it in a big way. As reported by The Fayetteville Observer:

A Cumberland County judge didn’t find it funny when a man kept laughing in her courtroom Friday.

Judge Toni King asked Johnny Montgomery, 47, what was so amusing. According to the Sheriff’s Office, Montgomery told her, “It’s none of your business.”

Um. It is now. Note that Mr. Montgomery was in court for misdemeanor charges “of communicating threats and trespassing.”

[Judge] King ordered him removed from her District Courtroom. As deputies searched Montgomery, they found more than 3 grams of crack cocaine on him, Sheriff’s Office said.

Oh my. Those misdemeanor charges are looking pretty trifling.

Now [Mr. Montgomery] is charged with felony possession of cocaine. [He] … was taken to jail where his bail was set at $1,500.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Montgomery.

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How can The Juice be so certain that Jennifer Bibby, a 63-year-old neighborhood watch leader will catch the person who vandalized cars in her neighborhood? Because she did it! CCTV may be intrusive, but it doesn’t lie. As reported by swns.com:

Police officer’s widow Jennifer Bibby, 63, is an upstanding churchgoer and well-respected as a neighbourhood watch leader in a tight-knit community.

But she has been arrested and cautioned for criminal damage after being caught on CCTV attacking the cars of neighbours Clare Leverton and Suzanne Hoole.

Clare had suffered a number of vandalism attacks over recent years and believed hooded yobs were responsible for the latest damage, which occurred on Bonfire Night.

But Clare was stunned when the CCTV system she installed to catch the culprits spotted Jennifer covering the vehicles with flour and eggs.

Single mother-of-two Clare, who runs Attitudes Hair and Beauty in Hoddesdon, Herts., admitted she was ”shocked” when she saw Jennifer on the footage.

Clare, 44, said: ”The vandalism had been going on for years at my house so we decided to put up some CCTV cameras as a last resort.

What did Ms. Bibby have to say for herself?

”She denied everything to the police until they said ‘you are on CCTV’ and then she admitted it.”

Doh! You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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When you get excited, you sometimes forget things. Even when you’re robbing a bank? As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

The heist happened around 9:45 a.m. at the Citibank branch, 539 N. Michigan Ave., police said. A man walked into the bank and told a teller he had a bomb in a bag he was holding and demanded the teller stuff cash into it, police said.

It’s working! It’s working!

But then the man left the bag behind with the cash, police said.

Doh!

FBI officials said there was no bomb found and no one was injured.

The man is described being between 6 feet 2 and 6 feet 3 inches tall and clean shaven. He was wearing a baseball cap and wore one blue latex glove.

Here’s the source, including a still from the bank’s video surveillance.

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Of all the places he could have picked, check out where this gent chose to expose himself, as reported by phillyburbs.com:

A man exposed himself to a woman inside the Bucks County Association for the Blind.

Newtown Township police said the incident occurred about 2 p.m. Friday inside the bookstore at the offices at 400 Freedom Drive.

The woman told police the suspect is a skinny, black male, between 35 and 45 years old, about 5 feet 10 inches tall and was wearing a black track suit.

Officers checked the area along with Newtown Borough police and could not find the suspect.

Crazy right? Or was it? Here’s the source.

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Seriously, are you ever going to escape from the police armed with a dildo? From The Chicago Tribune:

Carolee Bildsten, 56, of Gurnee, will plead not guilty next month to accusations that she charged an officer with the “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device” described in a police report, defense attorney Neil Calanca said.

Mr. Calanca was not pleased with the inclusion of a description of the “weapon.”

A former police officer, Calanca said the officer involved in the incident “should be ashamed of himself,” and that he would have been embarrassed to include such information in a police report. Gurnee police Cmdr. Jay Patrick countered that such reports “are required to be a factual account of an incident.”

So what led to the brandishing of the “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device?”

The alleged assault occurred when the officer went with Bildsten to her apartment in the 5300 block of David Court on Nov. 9 after employees at Joe’s Crab Shack in Gurnee accused her of dining without paying for the second time, according to Patrick.

Bildsten reached into a dresser drawer for what the officer thought was money to pay her bill, but instead pulled out the “pleasure device,” police allege. The officer deflected the sex toy with his hand, and he was not injured, Patrick said.

The charges?

Along with the aggravated assault charge, Bildsten is scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 27 on the Crab Shack-related theft of services charge and an unrelated charge for aggravated driving under the influence of alcohol.

Click here for the source.

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Kids play. Balls go into neighbors’ yards. No big deal, right? Normally, yes. Here, it was a BIG deal. As reported by the Flagler County Sheriff’s office:

A 56-year-old Palm Coast man was arrested Tuesday evening and charged with three misdemeanors after deputies said he fired a gun after a basketball rolled into his yard.

Bam!

Deputies responded to 80 Providence Lane around 8:22 p.m. after several residents called to report hearing a gun shot in the area. Theodore Van Beveren was arrested at his home on charges of breach of peace, culpable negligence and discharging a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

Drunk too. Well done, sir.

A 16-year-old witness said he was playing basketball at his home on Providence Lane when the ball rolled over into the yard of Van Beveren.

Van Beveren, according to deputies, was sitting inside his garage. He walked out of the garage as the juvenile walked over to retrieve the ball. It was at that time that Van Beveren walked down the driveway with a firearm and fired once into the ground. The juvenile told deputies he ran away from the man and was not injured.

Deputies found two fully loaded firearms in the garage. They were located on separate tables alongside the chair where Van Beveren was sitting.

Deputies said the homeowner appeared to have been drinking and a half empty bottle of vodka was found next to the chair. He refused to take a breathalyzer measurement. The firearms were taken into custody by the deputies.

Van Beveren was released from the Flagler County Inmate Facility after posting $750 bond on the charges.

$750? Why bother? Here’s the source.

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A bender? Not uncommon. Driving while on a bender? Common, but thankfully not as common. Getting busted while driving on a bender? Less common. Getting busted TWICE IN THE SAME DAY while on a bender? Fortunately, extremely rare, but it does happen… As reported by The Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

Around 9 a.m. that … morning, [Yvette L.] Cavallo [29] was charged by Harmony Township police with driving under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of a controlled substance.

In that case, police said, Cavallo admitted to taking a combination of pills and then texting while driving. Cavallo hit a telephone pole in the 3700 block of Duss Avenue in Harmony, police said.

Texting too! And then …

Cavallo’s car was towed to Chris Automotive Repair and Towing Service in Conway, where police were called at 9:57 a.m. because Cavallo was in the towing yard and had climbed onto a flatbed truck in an attempt to take something out of her car, Conway police said.

Conway police cited Cavallo with defiant trespass and public drunkenness. She pleaded guilty to both charges April 9.

So that’s 2 sets of charges in 2 jurisdictions, and it’s not even noon!

According to a police report, Chippewa police were called at 6:45 p.m. March 24 about a reckless driver on Darlington Road. Police found the vehicle near Get-Go on McMillen Avenue with a flat tire, the report said.

Cavallo, who was driving the vehicle, had glassy eyes and was responding to police “sluggishly as though she was having difficulty understanding,” the report said. There was also a smell of smoke and cologne coming from the car, the report said.

Cavallo was taken to Heritage Valley Beaver hospital, where she tested positive for marijuana in her system, police said. Cavallo also had a baggie of marijuana and pipe in her purse, police said.

[She] was charged by Chippewa Township police with driving under the influence of a controlled substance, possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Cavallo is still awaiting preliminary hearings on the charges filed by Harmony and Chippewa police.

Let’s hope she’ll use the time she’ll no doubt be doing to get herself together. Here’s the source.

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Can you really be charged with a felony for throwing a soda? At a machine? Yup. As reported by The Gainesville Sun:

Upset that his order wasn’t prepared correctly, a 30-year-old man is accused of throwing his soda on a cash register at a Taco Bell in Gainesville on Sunday night, shutting down the restaurant’s computer network for several hours.

Doh! The whole “computer network.” Hence the felony …

Suresh A. Chapman, of Gainesville, was charged with damaging a computer resulting in a loss of $5,000 or more, a second-degree felony.

Police said he threw his soft drink at the register and credit card machine at the Taco Bell at 3408 Archer Road at about 8 p.m., causing an estimated $2,500 worth of damage.

The damage to the computer network meant the store lost about $3,000 in revenue, according to a Gainesville Police Department report.

How much time could you get for that?

GPD spokeswoman Cpl. Angelina Valuri said Officer Sean Borges was right to charge Chapman with the second-degree felony, which can carry a 15-year prison sentence.

Yikes. Adding injury to injury …

Because of the arrest, Chapman also was charged with violating his probation on a 2011 child abuse case, according to the arrest report.

Mr. Chapman is cooling off in a jail cell.

While the bond was set at $5,000 for the computer damage charge, Chapman was being held Monday at the Alachua County jail without bond because he had been charged with violating his probation.

Click here for the source.

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Whatever your opinion is on the legalization of marijuana, it goes without saying that it’s illegal in many places. It also going without saying that you shouldn’t try to sneak it on a plane and into a foreign country when you know it’s illegal in that country. Or does it? As reported by The Boston Herald:

Harvard is being tight-lipped after one of its instructors was busted with pot in her underwear after landing in Bermuda for a weekend getaway with her husband.

In her underwear! Brilliant! Nobody has tried to hide anything there before … except the Underwear Bomber, and probably scores of other folks!

Drug-sniffing dogs alerted authorities to the 6 grams of marijuana in a small plastic bag stuffed in Mey Akashah’s underwear on Friday.

So you’re saying the authorities have dogs that can smell pot? No way! Okay, she’s busted. Do you think this woman will go down without a fight?

Akashah, an environmental health instructor at the school of public health, told the arresting officers a doctor had prescribed the pot to treat her nausea after a colon operation, according to the Bermuda Sun News.

Whew. So there is an explanation for all this. Or, is there?

… at a hearing yesterday, Akashah failed to pony up any documentation showing she’d been prescribed marijuana for medical reasons. The Harvard instructor acknowledged that she knew marijuana was illegal in Bermuda but said she “responded illogically due to the amount of pain I was in.”

A senior magistrate said he found it “strange” she couldn’t provide any proof, but he discharged her from custody with no fine. He said a conviction would have had an “overwhelming effect” on her.

Wow. That was incredibly nice. The Juice is totally fine with this outcome, unless she was lying. The Juice despises liars. Here’s the source.

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