Articles Posted in Strange Court Filings

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Yeah, firing a bottle rocket out of your butt is never a good idea. And it’s even worse if it fails to launch! From the recently filed West Virginia case of Helmburg v. The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity and Travis Hughes:

Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated … and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot a bottle rocket out of his anus on the ATO deck …

Plaintiff and his girlfriend were also present on the ATO deck.

Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rock blew up in Defendant’s rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.

So, you might be wondering, what legal duties does the plaintiff allege were breached by ATO?

ATO owed plaintiff a duty … to supervise its guests and its own fraternity members, such as Defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one’s own anus.

What about Mr. Hughes?

Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to file bottle rockets out of his anus.

And here’s a count for both defendants:

Plaintiff asserts that the activity of underage drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an “ultra-hazardous” activity which exposes both of these defendants to strict liability.

A painful night, all around.

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So, you’re telling me that if metal is exposed to the sun, it’ll get hot? NFW! Who would have thought that? Not this woman, who had some wire in her bathing suit (guess where) and got burned. As reported by The New York Post:

A Long Island sun worshipper landed in the hospital with third-degree burns on her bust after the underwire in her two-piece bathing suit became superheated, she said.

Underwire? Oh, so that’s how come this suit makes me feel so much younger! Who knew?!

The black Coco Reef swimsuit had been sitting in her drawer for a while before Robin Corrente, 50, of Yaphank, got the chance to try it out.

She wore it on a 90-degree afternoon in August 2008 to soak up some rays in her yard. “After about an hour, I was hurting,” Corrente said. “I went up to take a shower and I realized . . . I had a lot of blisters.”

A trip to the hospital confirmed she had serious burns, and doctors had to remove a piece of flesh “the size of a dime” from her right breast.

Yikes. That had to hurt. Now she’s trying to take down the very folks who helped, um, prop her up.

Corrente is suing Coco Reef manufacturer Swimwear Anywhere in Manhattan Supreme Court. Swimwear Anywhere declined to comment.

And if you think The Juice is rooting against Ms. Corrente, think again. Although she could have thought of the scenario of the wire heating up during sunbathing, certainly the manufacturer should have foreseen it. Here’s the source.

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You can allege anything. The question is, can you prove it? Check out the allegations in a lawsuit currently pending in Fairfax County (Virginia) Circuit Court, as reported in The Washington Post:

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

So those are the allegations. Said the defendant’s lawyer …

… there was “no statement by anyone that they were driving on the Beltway having sex” and “no facts on it.”

The Post also reports that …

Records show the defendant, from Woodbridge, was convicted in Fairfax district court of drunken driving near Telegraph Road in May 2010. But now he denies he was driving. (What?) He was coming from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore, court records state. The woman involved has been dismissed from the case. There was someone ELSE in the car too, and HE denies driving as well.

Should be quite the trial. (It’ll take place next week.) Here’s the source.



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If you’re serving 15 years in prison, how better to spend your time than trying to get yourself out of prison? This gent came up with an interesting theory that, though it hasn’t yet succeeded, it at least passed one court’s smell test. As reported in The South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

During trial, the judge’s German shepherd whined, barked and put his paws up on the swinging door between her and the rest of the courtroom, a defendant said in his appeal for a new trial.


Philip Leigh, 52, argued that because his legs were shackled, the jury may have thought the dog was there to protect Broward Circuit Judge Susan Lebow.

Leigh, now serving a 15-year sentence in a Lake City prison for cocaine trafficking, says his … attorney should have objected to the shackles and the shepherd during the July 2005 trial.

The Fourth District Court of Appeal on Wednesday [sent] the case back for a hearing. There may still be a new trial, or not.

Who would’ve thought it’d get that far? Here’s the source.

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judge%20leave%20out%20of%20courtroom%20gavel%20funny.gif Regular Juice readers may recall that this will not be the first post involving a Motion to Continue a trial due to … a football game! I’m sure it won’t be the last, unfortunately.

And just in case you think that maybe The Juice just doesn’t like football … He was spotted at 3 Super Bowls over the years, coincidentally all involving the Redskins … Furthermore, he was spotted at almost every home Redskins game from 1967 until that painful day in December 1996 (notwithstanding the thrashing of the Cowboys) when the curtains closed at RFK.

Having established his bona fides, let’s just say it’s not a motion The Juice would ever file (not that there’s anything wrong with it …) Think the judge granted it? Yup, he did. Click here to read the Motion.

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Clearly, the attorney asking the question needs to get out more. Not so for the responding attorney. From an actual case…

NTERROGATORY NO. 16: Please describe how “beer pong” is played, including the needed equipment and/or materials.

RESPONSE TO INTERROGATORY NO. 16: Defendants object to this Request as vague, ambiguous, overly broad, unduly burdensome, and not reasonably calculated to lead to discovery of admissible evidence. Subject to and without waiving the foregoing objections, Defendants state that the term “beer pong” appears to refer or relate to at least two different activities, each of which require different equipment and/or materials, and both of which are subject to substantially varying “house rules,” depending on the players and/or location of the specific instance of the activity.

Defendants further provide the following information, available from, catalogued under the title, “Beer pong”. In providing this response, Defendants do not vouch for the veracity, accuracy, or validity of the information contained within the online resource ; Neither do Defendants claim the response as their own, but have merely provided the information to respond to this Interrogatory to the best of their ability based on diligent research and investigation:

1. Teams
Beer pong is usually played with two teams of two players each, though it can be played with two teams of one person each, or other numbers of players. Each team begins the game standing at either end of the table behind their rack of cups.

2. Playing field
Although the game is typically played on either a ping pong table or a folding banquet table, enthusiasts may create a personalized table for use by friends and visitors. In general, this will be a plywood board cut to proper size, sometimes painted with sports, school, or fraternity symbols and given a liquid-proof coating. Some companies sell tables, and there are companies making portable or inflatable tables. The game can be played on any flat surface, such as a door or dining table.

3. Equipment
The most common cups used are 16 ounce disposable plastic cups (such as red Solo cups) with ridge-lines which can be used precisely to measure the amount of beer to be poured into the cup. On each side of the table, teams assemble equilateral triangles, with a convergence point focusing on the other team. Games typically use either six, ten, or twelve cups. Each team usually has a separate cup of water as well, used to rinse off the ball.

38 mm or 40 mm table tennis (ping pong) balls are typically used for game play.


This diagram illustrates a standard set up for a game of Beirut, with either 6 or 10 cups being used.

4. Alcohol
An inexpensive pale lager or light beer of 3.2–5% ABV is sometimes preferred because of the large quantities of beer which may be consumed during the course of several games. For non-drinkers, the game may be played without beer, as is done at Utah State University, where alcohol is not allowed on campus—root beer is used instead. The game may also be played with water instead of beer, or with cups full of water that players do not drink from, instead using another cup of beer or alcohol. Water pong has been banned at some freshman Dartmouth dorms due to a possibility of water intoxication.

Game play
There are very few universal or “official” rules. Typically, players abide by a uniform set of “house rules”, which are often consistent within one university or region of the country (e.g., “Ivy League rules” or “West Coast rules”), or may vary on a “house-by-house” basis. Number of cups, bouncing, amount of alcohol, the distance shots must be taken from, et cetera, may all vary.

In some house rules, players must immediately drink any cup that has been hit. Failure to do so incurs a penalty, such as drinking more beer or losing the game. Some rule sets allow for “re-racking” (also known as “rearranging”, “consolidation”, and other names), which is a rearrangement of a team’s remaining cups after some have been removed. The formations, number of cups, when to rearrange and so on depend on the rule set. For example, a team with three remaining cups may ask the other team to “re-rack” their multiple targets into a single triangle formation.


Teams have many possibilities for reracks.

Some other house rules allow swatting the ball away if it bounces and if the ball spins around the cup. Other rules state that if a team makes both shots in a round, they may shoot again, sometimes called a “repo” or “rollback”. With WSOBP rules only one repo/rollback is allowed and is a single ball. If this ball is also made the three consecutive shots are referred to as a “splash-trick”.

After shooting, teams may dunk the ping pong balls into cups of water in order to wash off the balls. However, research showed that the wash cups still hold bacteria, such as E. coli.

1. Shot techniques
There are three key ways to shoot in beer pong: the arc, the fastball (or “laser”), and the bounce shot. The most common throwing technique is the “arc” shot, where one grasps the ping pong ball with the tips of the thumb and forefinger, holds the arm at an angle with the ball upwards, then throw by using gentle elbow motion, holding the upper arm parallel with the table.

Some players throw “fastball” style, which uses more of a hard chopping motion to send the ball in a more direct line to the intended target cup. Also, a fastball shot may be favorable if house rules dictate a cup that is knocked over is taken off the table, in which case a fastball can eliminate multiple cups if thrown hard enough.

A “bounce” shot is performed by bouncing the ball toward the cups. Since (depending on house rules) the other team may have the opportunity to swat away a bounced ball, a bounce may be worth more than one cup. In some rule sets, bouncing is not allowed; in others, it is required.

The typical path for the different kinds of shots.

2. Winning the game
If the opposing team makes the last cup, the other loses unless they can make either all remaining cups or simply one cup, depending on “house rules”—this is called a rebuttal or redemption. In some rule sets, if the opposing team hits the last cup with both of their balls, no redemption is given to the losing team.

A shutout rule is a house rule usually stated before a game or during the game in the midst of a shutout. If the shutout does occur the losing team must do whatever the two teams decided on, such as going streaking or drinking a large quantity of beer.

Defendant further provides the following information, available from, catalogued under the title, “Beer pong (paddles)”:

Game play
No “official” codified version of the rules of pong exist, and many “house rules” variations exist. In general terms, players start by assembling cups of beer or other obstacles onto either side of a table and a median in between. Like table tennis, pong requires one side to serve the ball and the other side to attempt to return the ball and begin a rally. Both the serve and the intra-game volleys generally must propel in an arch trajectory. Players may not return the ball until it has struck their own side, objects on their side, or the floor. Following the serve, players attempt to hit or sink in the opponents cups, whereby the opponent will lose one or more points. Once all points for a cup or obstacle have been taken away, the object is removed. The game is won when all objects have been removed from the opponents side.

1. Equipment
Pong requires a table, paddles, a ball, cups, and beer. Also, a median is sometimes utilized.

The table is not a regulation ping-pong table but is made from one or two sheets of plywood, usually measuring 4′x8′, 5′x9′, or 5′x10′. However, a regular ping-pong table may be utilized, as long as the net is removed. The sheets are propped up on supports such as sawhorses, garbage cans, or frames specially built from lumber or steel pipes.

The median is a divider placed across the center of the table, such as a pole, hockey stick, broom handle, or the net of a table tennis set.

Paddles are commercial ping pong paddles, sometimes in modified form to suit the house rules. Typically, the handles are broken off.

Cups are predominately 12oz plastic cups arranged in a predetermined configuration, 16 oz. cups are utilized as well.

Beer (or water for water pong, cocktails for tails pong, champagne for champong) fills each cup approximately 5/6ths of the way full before each game.

2. Configuration
Cups or obstacles may be assembled in a number of configurations. Often these configurations vary widely between groups, with players remaining very loyal to their original form of play.

* Two Cup: Two cups are placed next to each other a set distance from the edge of the pong table, typically one paddle length. Two cup can be played for points and/or simply until your two cups are gone.
o Four Cup: Each player on a side has a “Two Cup” set up.

* Line: An expansion of “Two Cup” to any number of cups lined up in a single row a set distance from the edge of the pong table, typically one paddle length.
o Wall: Cups in a line across the width of the table.
o Great Wall: Cups lining all sides of the table.

* Triangle: A six cup triangle centered on each end with the base along the back line.

* Shrub: A six cup triangle centered on each end, a paddle’s width from the edge of the table, with a single ‘stem’ cup behind them.
o Tree: An eleven cup variant with a ten cup triangle.
o Double-stemmed Tree: A twelve cup variant with a ten cup triangle and two stem cups.
o Sequoia: A seventeen cup variant with a 15 cup triangle and two stem cups.
o Tower: A twenty-one cup variant. The base consists of a “Tree,” a “shrub” is carefully balanced on top of the base. A miniature three-cup tree is balanced on the “shrub” and finally a single cup is balanced on the top.
o Sequoia Tower: A thirty-eight cup variant. “Tower” with a “Sequoia” base.
o Enchanted Forest: Typically played with two pong tables placed side by side. The number of players is unlimited to the extent that the tables get too crowded. Each player starts with a “Tree” and once your last cup is gone – magically another “Tree” appears in front of you. Etiquette dictates that you do not hit towards the person immediately to your left or right, but etiquette quickly dissipates as the game proceeds. The game ends when you decide to walk away.
o Social: Same as “Enchanted Forest” but each player has a “Scrub” instead of a “Tree” and 2 ping pong balls are in play at any given time.

* Ship or Battleship: A configuration modeled after the classic board game Battleship. Each team positions five “boats” aligned to a grid. The “boats” consist of one 5-cup arrangement, one 4-cup arrangement, two 3-cup arrangements, and one 2-cup arrangement, similar to the board game. Additionally, there is a “mine” or two which if hit by an opponent is drunk by the opponent. Sometimes the “mine” is movable and may be refilled.
o Pearl Harbor: Originally called 8-Man. A variant on “Ship” where two pong tables are placed side by side. There are 4 teams each defending a corner of the pong field, instead of the normal short side of the table. A 6-cup “boat” is added to the game, as well as an additional “mine.” Again, the “mine” may be movable and may be refilled.

* Battlestar: A combination of “Ship” and “Tree.”
o Battlestar Gallatica: A combination of “Tower” and “Ship”
o Towerstar Gabootica: A combination of “Sequoia Tower” and “Ship”
* Tic-Tac-Toe: A massive game in which all likelihood will require substitutions as 81 cups are placed on each side of the table. The cups are sets up 9 groupings of 9 cups obviously in the formation of a Tic-tac-toe board. You win by getting rid of three 9 cup groupings as per the normal rules of Tic-tac-toe.

* Table: Another massive game. Cups are set up to cover the entire surface of the table. A player must continue to serve and incur penalties until they have cleared a space on the table large enough to legally serve.

* The Unholy: Another version is where a shot of Jagermeister is put in a shot glass in front of the single beer glass one paddle length ahead on the center line. If the person hitting the shot toward the beer glass hits the shot glass, they must take the shot, hence the name “The Unholy”.

3. Primary rules
Start of game: Usually the challenging team serves first. Often, it is considered polite for one team to volunteer to serve first. Sometimes players will throw the ball, similar to Beirut, to determine who serves first.

Serve: A player serves by striking the ball so that it makes contact with their own side once, immediately followed by contact with the opposing side.

Serve fault: Failing to contact the opposing side on a serve is considered a fault. Often a predetermined number of faults results in the serving team losing one or more points.

Serve hit: Making contact with cups or obstacles on the opposing side when serving is considered a serve-hit. Often the serving team immediately loses one or more points.

Ace: A serve resulting in the ball bouncing in an awkward fashion, such as off the cornered edge of the table, is called an ace. An ace is legal and generally sought after by experienced players.

Dirty serve: Serving in a disreputable manner, such as striking a ball that is already bouncing or squeezing the ball between the thumb and paddle, is considered a dirty serve. A dirty serve is typically legal, but frowned upon.

Volley: After the serve, teams alternate striking the ball onto the opposing team’s side of the table.

Hit: Striking the opponents cups during a volley is considered a hit. Usually the opponents will lose one point or drink.

Sink: Having the ball come to rest in one of the opponents cups during a volley is considered a sink. Usually the penalty for the opponents would be doubled, costing two points or drinks in most circumstances.

End of volley: A volley ends when the ball bounces twice, misses the opposite side, is double hit, or hits or sinks in the cups. The team that caused the volley to end must then serve the ball to restart play.

Double hit: A team striking the ball twice is considered to have double hit the ball. This generally results in the end of a volley.

4. Secondary rules
The rules included in this section are an outline of popular rules that exist in standard variations. Localizations of beer pong will often be based on a subset of these or may include additional rules not listed here.

Save: Immediately after the ball strikes a team’s cups, the team may attempt a subsequent return called a save. A save generally cancels the penalty associated with the hit.

Cup Save: When the ping pong ball hits an opponent’s cup and the ball bounces high and far enough to cross back over to a team’s side, negating the hit penalty.

Throw Save: Throwing one’s paddle to save a hit penalty. Usually occurs, when a team’s cup is hit on the edge or side closest to the opponent, and the ping pong ball ricochets back toward the opponent’s side but not far enough to avoid hitting a team’s side of the table twice, which would result in the hit penalty being accessed. Because of the ricochet of the ball and the distance from a player, the player is required to throw their paddle in an attempt to hit the ball over to the opponent’s side.

Blow Save: Where a ping pong ball hits a cup and while swirling around the cup about to “sink” into the cup, but before the ball touches the beer, a player blows air under the ball and pops it out of the cup. Obviously, this only saves a “sink,” and a penalty for a hit is still accessed unless the player in the same motion is able to hit the ball onto the opponent’s side. This type of save is contentious.

Save hit: In attempting a save, if a player strikes the opponents cups, it is generally referred to as a save hit. A save hit often results in the players on whom the hit was made losing a point or drink.

Save sink: In attempting a save, if a player strikes the ball so that it comes to rest in the opponents cups, it is generally referred to as a save sink. The consequence of a save sink is often the dual-doubling of the combined save and sink, costing in four points or drinks in the general course of play.

Floor shot: On hitting the floor, a team may attempt one final shot to hit the opponents cups called a floor shot. Hitting or sinking from a floor shot is generally considered the same as hitting or sinking during a volley. A floor shot may similarly be saved, although the volley is still terminated once all save shots have completed.
1. Lob pong
The game mirrors the basic form of a friendly game of regulation table tennis. Each serve and return must complete an arc acceptable to opponents and observers, though the goal of sinking the ball in a cup tends to reward returning in the proper form. Hitting an opponent’s cup means one-fifth, one-half or simply a “sip” of the cup is drunk (depending on the school), and sinking a ball in a cup (aka, a “plop”) means that a player or a team must drink a half or the entire cup. Spilling one’s own cup usually merits drinking an entire cup of freshly poured beer. Other beverages than beer, including water or cocktails, are sometimes permitted, but some beverage is necessary.

a. Service
The ball is properly served by striking it with the paddle, ensuring it bounces only once off the serving team’s half of the table, and then lands on the opposing team’s half. If the ball hits an opponent’s cup the serving team must drink one sip from their cup and serve again. This is a “fault”. If the serve lands in an opponent’s cup the serving team must drink an entire beer. This is also a “fault”.

Two “faults” are allowed if the ball fails to make its second bounce on the opponent’s half of the table. If a server faults three times, the opponent gets one point and gets to serve. Note that hitting or sinking on the serve do not count as faults; in this case, the opponent collects 1 or 2 points respectively and immediately gets to serve.

Since a game cannot be lost on a service error, at match point the losing server has an unlimited number of “faults”, and the server does not lose points or service if the opponent’s cup is accidentally hit or sunk on the serve. As a result, the server should keep trying for the best serve possible when the opponent is at match point. Some players institute a three-fault rule, however, the violation of which requires that a full beer be drunk.

A related strategy is to foul up the ball and intentionally serve it into your opponent’s cup. If you are able to sink it later, your opponent must drink a fouled beverage. This is known as “intentional gorfing”.

In some places, continuing service after the ball has hit a cup is, not only commendable, but results in “one on”. Roughly explained, if a cup has been hit and the opponent is able to keep the ball in play, there will be “one drink” on the table. The losing side of that service will not only lose a point, but will have the pleasure of drinking a “drink” from their cup. Obviously this rule is not limited to just one hit of a cup but can expand infinitely, depending upon the skill of the players.

b. Return
The ball must be returned after it has bounced just once off the returning team’s half of the table; this includes the table top and the cups. Blowing a spinning ball out of a cup and returning it is permitted but it is highly-frowned upon unless done by girls. Ricocheting the ball off external objects such as a vertical or horizontal structural member in the basement, a ceiling, or a bystander is usually permitted. If a ball is extremely hard to return or if it is “un-returnable”, both teams can agree to call it a “DB,” “Dive-bomb,” or “stoner.” If a “DB” or “stoner” is agreed upon, then the point is played over.

There are a number of formal variants of Lob, including the standard Two-Cup (one full cup per player), Four-Cup (two full cups per player), Shrub (a triangle of six beers with a “stem” attached to one side), Tree (much like Shrub, except the triangle includes 10 beers), Line (with four half cups per player), Full-Cup Line or Wall (cups in a line across the width of the table), Great Wall (cups lining all sides of the table), Table (cups covering the surface; one must foul out to clear a space on his own side for service), Battleship (or ‘Ship, two lines of three cups and one line of five, four and two cups placed strategically, similar to the formations in the board game Battleship), Rotating Randomness (irregular groups of cups placed in irregular pie-shaped sections of the table and played by six or more people who change positions after each point, encouraging shifting ad-hoc team behavior), and Henge (stacked cups or trilithons in irregular pie-shaped zones, with each player having a separate “Tourist” cup whose strategic drinking out of turn imposes the requirement that all others drink theirs, and other ritual elements).

2. Gentleman’s game
This version is similar to “lob pong” but with key differences. This game is always played as either a one-on-one or doubles match, with one keg cup of beer per person. The game is always played to 21 points, and victor(s) must win by at least 2. When a side reaches 20 points, or any time thereafter when its total is one point ahead of the other side, the match is at game point. The winning side must end the game with a “hoop” (see below); when at game point, merely hitting the opponent’s cup does not result in an additional point for the leading team, though a sip is “on the table” (see below).

An optional (though highly recommended) variation employs the “hoop rule”, in which the winning side must tally at least as many “hoops” as the other side. Under this condition, the winning hoop cannot come until the winning side has at least evened the hoop count. Any hoop that comes on game point prior to the hoop that evens the count does not result in an additional point for the leading team, but shall be treated as any other hoop in terms of drinking requirements. Between evenly matched foes, the “hoop rule” can result in quite lengthy competitions and continued debauchery long into the night. It is believed, though not confirmed, that the record for most amount of “hoops” in a game is 17. Of course if an opponent feels the sudden urge to “boot”, a gentleman always allows a short break, though said opponent is then expected to “rally”. Anything less would be uncivilized.

a. Service
The ball is properly served by striking it with the paddle, ensuring it bounces only once off the serving team’s half of the table, and then lands on the opposing team’s half. If the ball hits an opponent’s cup the serving team must drink one sip from their cup and serve again. If the serve lands in an opponent’s cup the serving team must drink an entire beer. If the ball fails to make its second bounce on the opponent’s half of the table after two attempts, the serving team must take a sip and continue serving. No points are awarded to either side on the serve. Service changes sides after every combined 5 points. In doubles play, teammates must alternate serving the 5 point sets with each side change.

b. Return
The ball must be returned after it has bounced just once off the returning team’s half of the table; this includes the table top and the cups. Ricocheting the ball off external objects is permitted. Points may be scored anytime after the first serve.

Points are scored one at a time for either a “hoop” (the return lands in the opponent’s cup) or for hitting the opponent’s cup followed by the opponent’s failure to make a successful return. When a hoop occurs, the side whose cup was “hooped” drinks an entire beer per team member. When a hit cup occurs (without a successful return), the side whose cup was hit drinks one sip per team member. A successful return off a hit cup negates the point, but a sip is “on the table”, and the side that fails to sustain the rally must take a sip at its conclusion.

If a ball hits the edge of the table at any time and is thus impossible to return both teams can agree to call it a “stoner” and replay the point.

3. Fast pong
As the name suggests, fast pong happens at a faster pace than lob pong. While there are many variations of the game, one major difference is that the goal is often just to hit the opponents cup and sinking the ball into the cup happens much less frequently. The game can be played either with points (with each hit counting as a point) or with drinks (with each hit requiring the opponent to drink a certain amount of beer, usually half of the 12-ounce cup).

4. Bucknell variant
a. Purpose of game and winning
The purpose of Bucknell pong (referred to as “pong” to Bucknellians) is to hit the opponents’ cup three times. After one hit, the team being hit has to drink half of their beverage. After the second hit the team must drink the rest. After the third hit the team loses. One can also win the game by hitting the ball into the opponents’ cup once. If that happens, the game automatically ends and the losing team must chug their beverage. In this style of pong, the ball is never out of play and one side always has the option to take a shot from wherever the ball lies, whether on the floor, in the garbage, or in an empty cup.

b. The table and table lay-out
The Pong Table sits 33 inches off the ground and the surface area is exactly 9′x5′. Because the Pong Table is a close sibling to the ping pong table, two hinges for a net should be fastened at the middle point of the table. Additionally, a flattened ping pong net should lie between and connected to the hinges. While Pong can be played with actual ping pong paddles, the more traditional and acceptable way to play involves paddles which use sandpaper-like material as padding and have the handles broken off.

Four 12-oz cups of beer should be placed on opposing sides of the table, one for each of the four players. The placement may be six inches from both the end and the side of the table, but it is most important that it remain uniform for all four players, ensuring that no team gains an advantage. Typically, one side of the table is declared “Winners’ Side”, and the team that wins the previous match will play on that side while the challengers will use “Losers’ Side”.

c. Service and return
The serve must always be made to the person standing diagonally across the table and needs to hit both sides of the table. If it doesn’t, the opposing team has the choice to accept the serve or to call out “One Side” or “No Sides” and give the ball back to the serving team.

If the team serving the ball hits any cup with the ball, that will be considered “A Hit” against the serving team and they will serve the ball again unless that would be the third hit against them. If the serve knocks over a cup, regardless of how much beer is in the cup (or if the cup is empty), the serving team loses the match and must chug one cup of beer as a penalty.

When the opposing team serves the ball, the receiving player can either hit it with his paddle immediately or choose to hit it off of his body for a better shot. The latter maneuver is called “A Body”. If the ball hits either of the receiving players’ hands, arms, or paddles, it is considered that player’s shot.

d. “Bodying” the ball
Players have the choice of either hitting the ball off of the table or “Bodying” it to either side for a better shot off of the ground. Because a player’s hands and arms are considered extensions of the paddle, you cannot Body the ball with either your hands or arms. If you do, this is considered a shot. You also cannot body the ball with your foot or your leg below the knee. This is a “Foot” and the player that does this should pick up the ball and serve. Additionally, you cannot Body a ball that has already hit the floor, even if done by accident.

If the ball gets stuck in an article of clothing, that player may take one step before inducing the ball to drop on the floor, at which time normal play resumes. This is the same rule if the ball rolls into an empty cup.

e. Defense
While the opposing team takes a shot, a player has the choice of playing defense (more commonly referred to a “D”) by placing either their hand or their paddle in front of their cup. Some players consider this weak, but it is a common and acceptable practice. Defense only works against a ball that has already hit the table. If the ball hits the table first and then hits the defense, the player should pick the ball up and serve. If the ball bounces off of the defense onto the other side, that team must play the ball; the hand is treated like the paddle, and so defense can be considered a shot.

If the one team hits the ball and it hits the other team’s defense in the air, that will be considered a hit if it would have hit the cup were the defense not there. However, this is a difficult thing to ascertain. Ultimately, the team that shot the ball gets to make the decision of whether the shot is a Hit or not. However, the arguments of the bystanders and the other team should be listened to and respected. For this reason, playing defense can sometimes increase the risk both of the other team calling a hit and the ensuing arguments.

f. Knock-overs and dunks
If a team knocks over their own cup with the ball, their paddle, their body, or by hitting the table, they lose and must drink a beer. This is true regardless of how much beer was in the cup (or if it was empty). If a player hits a ball (not on the serve) and knocks over the other team’s cup, his team automatically wins, regardless of how full the cup is. The Full Cup Knockover is considered the most difficult shot in the game.

If a player hits the ball and it lands into the other team’s beer, that player’s side wins the game and the other team must chug their beers. This is called a Dunk.

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I know you’re probably wondering, how could a sexual harassment claim arise from a cocktail waitress’s employment at a strip club? Well, suspend your disbelief, and take my word for it. Or click here to read about it in the Gothamist.

Anyway, that’s not the point of the post. The point of the post is the caption of the Complaint:

LOURDES GARCIA, on behalf of herself and hose similarly situated, PLAINTIFFS [emphasis added]

So, just in case you missed it, the law firm for the strip club cocktail waitress referred to its client and her peers as “hose.” Sure, you can quibble and say that it’s spelled “hoes” or “hos,” to which The Juice says, close enough! And as pointed out by Ravi Sharma, who gets props for bringing this to The Juice’s attention:

… it is even more fishy that in the first line instead of using “those” they state “all others.”

If they has just used “all others” in the caption, it would not be susceptible to the unfortunate and plausibly deniable typo being missed (as “hose” is correctly spelled) by the spell checker.

Why didn’t they use “all others” in both places?

You can see the first page of the Complaint here.

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The magazine, that is, not the dwelling. Unfortunately for Jorge Niebla, his current dwelling is a prison cell. And he’s having a real hard time getting his Penthouse subscription. So, feeling aggrieved, and having plenty of time on his hands, he sued. Per the New York Post:

A Florida prison inmate is suing the nudie magazine because it refused to send a subscription to him behind bars.

Jorge Niebla, who is serving 13 life sentences for kidnapping and armed robbery, filed the two-page suit in handwritten block letters to Manhattan Federal Court.

“[I] would like to purchase the magazine … but staff are being predjudice and don’t have respect for my basic rights,” Niebla wrote in the bizarre filing.

Penthouse couldn’t be reached for comment.

A judge last week ordered Niebla to fill out a form to get a waiver of the $350 filing fee.

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judge%20leave%20out%20of%20courtroom%20gavel%20funny.gif Regular Juice readers may recall that this will not be the first post involving a Motion to Continue a trial due to … a football game! I’m sure it won’t be the last, unfortunately.

And just in case you think that maybe The Juice just doesn’t like football … He was spotted at 3 Super Bowls over the years, coincidentally all involving the Redskins … Furthermore, he was spotted at almost every home Redskins game from 1967 until that painful day in December 1996 (notwithstanding the thrashing of the Cowboys) when the curtains at RFK closed.

Having established his bona fides, let’s just say it’s not a motion The Juice would ever file (not that there’s anything wrong with it …) Word is that the judge was inclined to grant it (and may have done so already). Click here to read the Motion.