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door bell doorbell ding dong ditch
There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (news-leader.com):

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

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faker%20fakers.png
This isn’t the first time The Juice has blogged about a cancer faker. That lady had nothing on Ms. Lori E. Stilley. As reported by The Gloucester County Times (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Making more than $3,000 from sales of an e-book was far from the only thing a township woman did to rake in tens of thousands of dollars from lying about having cancer, authorities allege.

According to a statement released from the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, the scheme began and ended in 2011.

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Posted in: Best Of
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bill law
Does anyone really believe there’s no such thing as bad publicity? Check out this proposed Missouri law, as reported at fox2now.com:

Courtney Allen Curtis, (D) District 73, introduced a bill to the Missouri House of Representatives that would make the high five the official state greeting.

Yes, that’s right, an official state greeting.

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time
The question: “What time is it?” These days, that leads many people to pull out their phone to check the time. You know where this is going. As reported in the Police Blotter from the 62nd Precinct (Bensonhurst—Bath Beach) via brooklynpaper.com:

Two bike-riding brutes swiped a man’s cellphone, watch, and jacket after asking him the hour on 63rd Street on Jan. 12, authorities allege.

The victim said he was walking along 63rd Street near 15th Avenue at 4 pm when the punks pedaled up behind him and requested the time. When he took out his mobile device to check, one of them grabbed the gadget while the other tore off the victim’s jacket, cops said.

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Posted in: Uncool
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piranha
How much do you think a piranha is worth? More on that later. For now, you only need to know that, if you live in New York City, you can’t have a piranha.  But just because it’s illegal … As reported by nbcnewyork.com:

A New York City man is accused of smuggling nearly 40,000 piranhas into the U.S. by having them mislabeled as harmless aquarium fish, prosecutors said.

First reaction: run!

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Posted in: Yikes
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wanted

Yeah, he was about six feet tall, white, a little heavy, with short blond hair and a big nose. He was wearing …  Now that’s the kind of description that could be helpful. But this?

Employees of Smith Oil on East Liverpool Road reported a tall, white, ugly man wearing a hoodie and plaid pajama pants driving a newer model Ford Focus drove off without paying for nearly $34 worth of gasoline.

Ugly? That’s it? Oh, and tall and white. Very helpful. Thanks so much. (As reported in the St. Clair Township Police Report (via The Review, East Liverpool, Ohio.)

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retired
When Michael Jordan resumed playing basketball, you know he wasn’t going to play with a number 23 Jersey. No, that number was retired, period.  While this gent’s jersey number is still retired, he’ll be wearing it every day, though not in a manner of his choosing. As reported by wdrb.com:

The University of Kentucky may have retired Richie Farmer’s number 32 jersey, but the federal Bureau of Prisons is bringing it back.  The prison system has assigned Farmer inmate number 16226-032 for use when he reports to a yet-to-be revealed facility by March 18. [The inmate number will be worn on his prison jump suit.]

That’s got to hurt. What did he do?

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snail%20slow.jpg
Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone’s finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in a really bad mood, or both. As reported by www.khou.com:

Police said [David Charles] Patronella [age 56] was driving behind another man southbound on Highway 6 on September 28. When the two drivers reached a light on Westheimer at Briargreen, Patronella allegedly lowered his window and pointed a gun at the other driver. No words were ever exchanged.

Who needs words when you have a gun?

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graffiti.jpg
Without Johnny Law, there would be chaos, right? In this situation, Johnny Law needs to step off. In the Australian city of Whitehorse, little children drawing with chalk in front of a cafe have been deemed to be … taggers! As reported by The Whitehorse Leader:

Children drawing with chalk on a Nunawading footpath have been labeled graffiti artists.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

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huh
The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer. Nevertheless, it’s obvious that you can’t steal your own stuff. But you can fake a burglary. The question is, why would you? As reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Police said they responded to the 11 Cranberry Lane home of Theresa Cantella, 25, on Jan. 15 and found her lying at the bottom of a flight of stairs. She said she suffered injuries after interrupting a burglary and was assaulted by an intruder.

Police said in a release that a subsequent investigation did not match evidence at the scene with Cantella’s original statement.

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