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The Juice enjoys skiing, but this is just nuts. A Colorado woman tried to pass herself off as her boyfriend so that she could use his ski pass! From The Aspen Times:

The trouble started when a woman was caught trying to use a man named Daniel’s ski pass at Keystone Resort. When asked for a date of birth, she complied but “was slow to recall it” according to a report from the Summit County Sheriff’s Office.

The woman claimed to be in the middle of a sex change and couldn’t provide any personal information beyond the birthday and middle name.

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Warning: this is truly disgusting. If you try and think of a product you could buy at CVS, and then return, that would be really, really disgusting, you would NOT think of this. As reported by the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office:

Investigation revealed the individual was frequenting the CVS since March 2012 and began returning the product in April 2012. He would purchase a pack of enemas and return them at a later time. According CVS personnel, the items appeared to be unused and therefore the store would put the box of enemas back on the shelf for resale.

Enemas! Back on the shelf! “Appeared” to be unused …

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It’s time for the Chilean lawmakers to do some housecleaning. As reported by ilovechile.cl:

A recent study by the School of Law of the Universidad Bernardo O’Higgins (UBO), listed several situations sanctioned by the Chilean Criminal Code which may appear a bit… outdated by today’s standards.

Like what?

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Of course it’s believable that a car being chased by one police car escaped, right? Absolutely. What about two? Three? Keep going. As reported by The Hamilton Spectator:

Two video game thieves in a stolen car evaded a helicopter and officers from five police services in an incredible 90-kilometre [55.9 mile] chase from north Toronto to downtown Hamilton.

That’s five police services and a helicopter! And check this out.

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The answer to that question is “it depends.” It depends on state law. It also gets complicated when several states are involved. You’re not going to believe how many convictions it took to get this guy off the road. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:

A Tennessee man was found guilty Wednesday of his 13th DUI and will now have his license permanently revoked.

13!

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Is it really fair to sentence someone to four years in prison for stealing underwear? Before you answer that, you might want to ask “how many times?” and “from where?” As reported by the Winnipeg Free Press:

James Duerksen spent more than two decades invading the privacy of unsuspecting female victims and satisfying his sexual fetishes. Now the convicted serial lingerie thief is headed to prison after the Manitoba Court of Appeal overturned a conditional sentence that allowed him to remain free in the community.

Duerksen, 40, learned this week the high court has imposed a four-year sentence for crimes they call “strange and disconcerting.” Duerksen, a married father of two, pleaded guilty last year to 92 charges of break, enter and theft that occurred over a 21-year period in Manitoba and Alberta.

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So maybe you’re sitting up above the rest of the folks in the courtroom. But this stuff? Uh-uh. Nope. Fuhgeddaboutit. It’s totally unacceptable. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:

“It was horrible,” Houston attorney Wesley Clements said about the alleged behavior of District Judge Lonnie Cox. “When he started yelling like that at the top of his lungs, it got my attention.”

The allegations are in a motion filed by Clements asking that Cox remove himself from a plea hearing in the probation violation case of Maricelda Marie Aguilar, 22, of Alvin.

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Sadly, this story is not about a U.S. politician. This gent hails from Bosnia. As reported by Reuters:

“Seven days after my campaign began, the whole planet is talking about me,” Mirad Hadziahmetovic told Reuters. “I think I have had a super campaign and proved to be the best market expert in Bosnia.”

The self-proclaimed “innovator” had been running as an independent candidate for mayor of Zenica, the fourth-largest city in Bosnia with a predominantly Muslim population, in the October 7 ballot.

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laundromat
It’s a helluva lot better than cleaning the bathroom, but nobody likes doing laundry. That’s why some people, even if they have a washing machine, take their clothes to a laundromat to have them washed and folded. For very particular folks, this is a bad idea. That brings us to today’s story, as reported by The South Jersey Times (via nj.com):

Unhappy with the wash and fold service, a disgruntled customer attacked the attendant at a local laundromat early Thursday morning, police said.

Yup. This jerk physically attacked her.

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Dating is always a crapshoot.  This date, though, ended in a very strange way. As reported in the police blotter from the 94th Precinct (Greenpoint–Northside) via brooklynpaper.com:

The victim said she went on a date with the guy and, at the end of the night, he turned cretinous because she did not want to spend the night.

While they were standing between Union Avenue at 1:15 am, the galoot grabbed her phone out of her hand and ran into the subway, she told police.

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