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Navnett Arora (age 22) claims that, in April 2004, a 17-year-old boy called him a “black c***.” (The boy denies it.) So Arora calls 3 of his buddies (ages 21,22 and 24) to the scene, and they put the boy in the car. Per the court, here’s what happened over the next 6 1/2 hours:

They stripped the boy naked and beat him with a belt.

They strapped him to a tree and whipped him again.

As they drove him around for hours, they beat him and slapped him across the face.

Arora called the boy’s mother and demanded $5,000 ransom.

They went to the boy’s house and stole a stereo.

They finally dumped the boy at a gas station.

At the urging of the prosecutor, all 4 men received suspended sentences! And where did this take place? Australia. here.

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As a personal injury lawyer, I cringe when I hear the term “frivolous lawsuit” because it’s used by the insurance industry (and other corporations) to create the false impression that lawyers are filing scads of bogus lawsuits, crowding the court dockets, and somehow getting rich as a result!? The term is used (with much success) to create an environment that prevents victims from obtaining the compensation they deserve.

Well, I think this one qualifies. Rajaram Kripashankar Srivastava has filed a claim stating that he owns the Indian state of Maharashtra (which I just learned is home to 96+ million people, and covers 119,000 square miles) and the Arabian Sea (big, very big). Seems that, on their way out, the Brits transfered the rights to Maharashtra and the Arabian Sea to his mother. Indian authorities are investigating the claim.

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You take off all of your clothes – everything – then go lie down in the middle of an interstate highway. That’s just what Shadrach Harding of Centralia, Illinois did. You’d think a dude in that position would go quietly when the police arrived. Not Shadrach. He put up a fight, and was charged with a felony – aggrevated battery. A sympathetic judge, completely naked under his robe [not], sentenced Shadrach to one year probation.

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[For more F-bomb cases, see the links at the end of this post.]

Old Murphy pleaded guilty to one count of distributing cocaine and one count of using a firearm during a drug trafficking crime. Murphy got 130 months for distributing cocaine (just 7 months less than the maximum sentence allowed) and 60 months for the trafficking – to be served consecutively (190 months total). Murphy was especially displeased with the 130 months. “At the conclusion of the [sentencing] hearing, the following exchange occurred:

MURPHY: You should have just gave me the other damn seven–the other seven months is what you should have did, stinky mother fucker.

THE COURT: Mr. Benya–Mr. Murphy, you are summarily found in contempt of this court-

MURPHY: Just give me the other seven months.

THE COURT: You’re summarily found to be in contempt of this court. I sentence you to six months to be served consecutive to any other sentence imposed.

MURPHY: You should have just gave me the other seven months is what you should have done.

THE COURT: Mr. Murphy, I find you again in contempt of this court and you’re now summarily found in contempt for a second time and you’ll serve an additional six months consecutive to any sentence-

MURPHY: What about that? What about that? Serve that, mother fucker. . . .

THE COURT: Mr. Stone, just a minute. Mr. Murphy-

MURPHY: Bye.

THE COURT: You just gave the finger to the court. That will be a third contempt of court and that’s six-

MURPHY: Add another one to it.

THE COURT: –six more months at the end of your sentence. Well, that’s a quick year and a half.

Stinky mo’ fo’ out of the gate? Murphy was found to have committed three separate contempts, and was sentenced to an additional 18 months, to be tacked on to his 190 months. He appealed. What do you think the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled?

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Janet Campbell did – once. The man was her husband, Desmond. They pitched their tent 20 yards from a cliff! Per Mr. Campbell, his wife left the tent to go to the bathroom. He heard a sound, and found her body at the bottom of the cliff, 55 yards below. Without anything further, you’d have to take a hard look at Mr. Campbell, no? But there’s more. Here’s what has been put into evidence at the Coroner’s inquest:

Just days after his wife died, he went on vacation with one of the women he was dating while he was married!

He was in significant relationships with at least 3 other women while he was dating or married to Ms. Campbell (and none of them knew he was married).

He didn’t go to her funeral.

He had not contributed significantly to the $660,000 property he and Ms. Campbell had recently purchased.

He resigned from the police department in 1994 after being suspended without pay following a number of disciplinary actions against him.

Mr. Campbell was overheard telling colleagues that Ms. Campbell was stalking and harassing him, and that they weren’t together anymore.

Mr. Campbell has a reputation as a rogue and a gold-digger.

Although Mr. Campbell is certainly entitled to the presumption of innocence, it’s not looking too good. Perhaps that’s why he was not even present at the Coroner’s inquest?

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Judges say the darndest things. Take the case of the Honorable Gary W. Velie, a Superior Court judge in Clallam County, Washington. Back in 1988, in response to a complaint, he admitted “the use of racist and sexist language and embarrassing jokes.” Not only was he not reprimanded, the complaint was dismissed “based upon [his] willingness to take corrective action.” But … sometime the next year … per The Commission on Judicial Conduct of the State of Washington,

[Judge Velie] made a remark to attorney John Doherty in open court and in front of court report Penny Wolfe and clerk Tammy Woolridge that he [Doherty] looked like he had been “jacking off a bobcat in a phone booth.” [I’m trying to imagine that level of dishevelment.]

In 1990, during the armed conflict between the United States and Iraq, [Judge Velie] remarked: “Nuke the sand niggers” in reference to [his] solution to the Mid-East crisis. The comment was made in the presence of others in the clerk’s office coffee room in the courthouse.

While viewing a property in the course of his duties, with two attorneys in his car, Judge Velie “stated that ‘Johnny,’ a defendant in an old case, “had gone crazy from sucking too many cocks.”

And there were a few others, like the time where he said, in open court, that he knows there are not many starving people. It’s just that “there’s a lot of them too stupid to cook what they are given… In other words, if you don’t give them a Kraft dinner with the instructions written on the box, you give them other normal food, they don’t know how to cook it.”

So, what do you think happened this time? Suspension?

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Before you hire a psychiatrist, you’d probably want to know a few things about him. For example, where he did his training, and what he charges per hour. You might ask him about the different therapeutic techniques he’ll be using.

And, of course, you should always ask whether he’s recently been caught carrying a loaded handgun into court to protect himself from an ex-wife who he thought took out a contract to have him killed.

Psychiatrist Jerry Gelb had some explaining to do after Melbourne Magistrates Court deputies, conducting routine searches at the courthouse’s main entrance, found a loaded .22 pistol and forty-nine rounds (!) of ammunition in his backpack. Confronted, Dr. Gelb (accompanied by his bodyguard) calmly explained that he was taking the weapon to court because it was a piece of evidence in an ongoing trial. Surprisingly, the deputies weren’t buying that story (perhaps because he later claimed that he had forgotten the gun was in his bag!), and the good doctor was arrested.

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Many folks who are wondering about the meaning of life, or what happens after death, turn to religion for answers. But if you’re wondering how to get out of a traffic ticket, you’re on your own.

Take the case of Mr. Robert G. Loudon, a god-fearing resident of Memphis, Tennessee. On a sunny day in June, 1990, Mr. Loudon was stopped by police for making an illegal left turn. When asked for his license, Mr. Loudon replied that it had expired. The officer then prepared a citation for the illegal turn, and for driving without a license, and presented it to Mr. Loudon for his signature. Mr. Loudon refused to sign, because (as the court explains):

[Mr. Loudon] advised [the officer] that he could not be arrested because her God was not as big as his God. He referred to her as “an agent of the socialistic government and he felt that it was that type of government that was trying to brand him with this mark.”

Mr. Loudon refused to renew his driver’s license because doing so would require him to provide his social security number to the DMV. And why wouldn’t he do so? In a letter to the Tennessee Department of Safety, Mr. Loudon declared that:

[I]t is illegal for you or anyone else to deny me a renewal of my operator license because I neither have nor will get a Socialist Surveillance Number; and so to do will be a violation of Federal laws both civil and criminal, regardless of any “Laws” you claim to be acting under color of. …

I do not have a SSN because that number is now becoming the mark of the beast against which we are warned in the Bible at Revelation 13:16-18, 14:11, and other places. I have committed my life to follow the Lord Jesus, Christ, and I cannot permit myself to be defiled with your number, as it would surely defile me.

The heathen court wasn’t convinced. Risking the fire and brimstone of Mr. Loudon’s vengeful God, the court affirmed his sentence, whereby he was ordered to pay a $108 fine and serve thirty days at the Shelby County Correctional Center.

The case is Tennessee v. Loudon, 857 S.W.2d 878 (Tenn. Crim. App. 1993).

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Respected CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corp.) Radio reporter Bob Keating was ticked off! Seems that Mr. Earl Hamilton, a health care activist, called Mr. Keating a government “toady” who was not to be trusted. Well sir, how would you like a box of chocolates smeared with raw chicken and dirt?

That’s just what reporter Keating sent to Mr. Hamilton. Keating blew the surprise, though, warning Mr. Hamilton about what he was about to receive. He then confessed to his employer, and got psychiatric help. And the ramifications? Should Keating have been fired? A labor arbitrator decided that a three-month suspension was appropriate. When the CBC appealed that, they won, with a three-member panel saying he should be fired. But then that was appealed, and the British Columbia Court of Appeal said that the chocolate surprise was not a firing offense.

Only one problem – Keating does not want his job back! (The case was pursued by his union, against his wishes.) He is now the manager of media and trade relations for Kootenay Rockies Tourism. Though he is happy with his new job, he has found the restrictions – staying 50 feet away from chocolate, raw chicken, and dirt – sometimes difficult to work around. [Okay – the restrictions are bogus.] In any event, said Keating, “I’ve moved on… I made a mistake. It cost me a career… I want to put it behind me.” Here’s hoping he has.

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All of these laws are on the books. Click on the statute and see for yourself.

No tattoos? Yup, no tattoos!

It shall be unlawful for any person to tattoo or offer to tattoo any person. As used herein to “tattoo” means to insert pigment under the surface of the skin of a human being, by pricking with a needle or otherwise, so as to produce a permanent indelible mark or figure visible on the skin. Provided, however, that the provisions hereof shall not apply to any act of a licensed practitioner of the healing arts performed in the course of his practice. §21-841

I’m in trouble with this next one:

Profane swearing consists in any use of the name of God, or Jesus Christ, or the Holy Ghost, either in imprecating divine vengeance upon the utterer, or any other person, or in light, trifling or irreverent speech. §21-904

No “holy shit?” No “damn you to hell?” No “sweet Mary, mother of God?” What about “holy crap?” Not to worry too much, though. The penalty:

Every person guilty of profane swearing is punishable by a fine of One Dollar ($1.00) for each offense. §21-905

Kids, watch your butts because:

… nothing contained in this Act shall prohibit any parent, teacher or other person from using ordinary force as a means of discipline, including but not limited to spanking, switching or paddling. §21-844

Damn, switching or paddling? Well, at least the fraternities have one less thing to worry about.

Again with the duels!

Any person guilty of fighting any duel, although no death or wound ensues, shall be guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment in the State Penitentiary not exceeding ten (10) years. §21-662

Oh no you didn’t just try and serve me with those legal papers on Saturday.

Whoever maliciously procures any process in a civil action to be served on Saturday upon any person who keeps Saturday as holy time, and does not labor on that day, or serves upon him any process returnable on that day, or maliciously procures any civil action to which such person is a party to be adjourned to that day for trial, is guilty of a misdemeanor. §21-912