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The Juice loves bicycles. He even commutes to work by bike. But if he were ever going to attempt a robbery, he wouldn’t use a bicycle for the getaway! That’s what James Lachenauer, Jr. is charged with. Incredibly, he wasn’t caught on his bike. Per the South Florida Sun Sentinel:

Police said Lachenauer was armed with a silver revolver and entered the Medication Station Pharmacy on Woolbright Road around 10:30 a.m. He ordered the six people inside the business to the ground and pointed the revolver at a clerk and demanded oxycodone and morphine.

Lachenauer handed a backpack to the pharmacist, who filled it with 18 bottles of morphine sulfate, Oxycontin and oxycodone.

Lachenauer ran out of the pharmacy and onto a bicycle. He then dumped the bicycle and ran to his house in the 2300 block of Southeast Fourth Street, where he asked his mother for a ride to the store.

So how was he caught?

… officers combed the area for the suspect. Detective Jason Llopis observed a small green SUV on South Federal Highway driven by a woman and occupied by a man who matched the suspect’s description. The car was stopped and the passenger was identified as Lachenauer.

And the goods?

Detectives recovered the backpack, which contained the 1,524 pills, in the car. Police found the revolver at Lachenauer’s house.

Doh! The charges?

… armed robbery and trafficking in oxycodone and hydrocodone.

I doubt he’ll be cycling anytime soon. Here’s the source.

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That depends. In this case, the offender had 2 previous drug offenses. He also had hidden over a pound of weed in a washing machine. But, and this was a big “but” for the Judge, the offender is a high-achieving environmental scientist, as reported by The Cairns Post (Australia). So, not only did Isha James Segboer, 34, get off with just 100 hours of community service …

… Supreme Chief Justice Paul de Jersey took the unusual step of not recording a conviction, despite two previous drug offences, because he did not want to ruin the high-achieving environmental scientist’s career potential to help others.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] I almost forgot the “cake” defense.

Segboer’s lawyer Bebe Mellick said Segboer had been given the shopping bag of drugs by an associate and had intended to bake a cake out of it because of its poor quality, but had forgotten about it.

Huh? An interesting defense, to be sure. Here’s the source.

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Back in the day, getting high in the back of the bus was something that happened when the bus driver hit a bump in the road. This was not the case with two Ohio boys who were busted recently, as reported in the South Side Neighborhood Watch at Akron.com.

LAKEMORE: On Sept. 1, police charged a Samuel Road male and an Albrecht Avenue male with illegal use and possession of drug paraphernalia after a school bus driver reported they smoked marijuana on the bus and police found a drug pipe hidden in a seat and lighters on both of the boys.

I can’t say I always behaved on the bus, but seriously!

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doctor%20mask%20scary%20creepy%20strange%20weird.gif I will forever think of this case when I hear anything about the European Court of Human Rights. As reported by The Argus:

[Hypnotherapist Imad Al-Khawaja] was convicted in 2004 of indecently assaulting two women, then aged 20 and 47, while they were hypnotised.

Al-Khawaja was handed consecutive 12-month and 15-month jail sentences after the jury returned unanimous guilty verdicts.

Said the Judge:

“This was an appalling breach of trust. You abused two vulnerable woman in your charge and under your control. You have not expressed any remorse for the distress you caused.”

About that remorse …

When a disciplinary panel met in December to decide if he should be banned from medicine, Al-Khawaja sent them a letter quoting television comedian Catherine Tate: “Look at my face, am I bothered?”

Do you have a pulse? His 2 appeals within the United Kingdom were unsuccessful. But wait! What about the European Court of Human Rights? While they didn’t overturn his convictions, they awarded him 6,000 euros (about $8,000 US) plus attorney’s fees. And why would they do that?

Because he “inevitably suffered a degree of distress and anxiety as a result” of not being able to cross examine one of his accusers, whose written statement was read to the jury, but was not able to testify in person because she committed suicide before the trial! I still can’t believe any court would give this man – who inflicted so much suffering – money for his “distress and anxiety.” Here’s the source.

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You may recall the case involving Nevada Judge George Assad, who jailed a guy’s girlfriend until he showed up in court. Problem was, she hadn’t done anything! (This innocent nurse had just come to court to explain that her boyfriend just started a new job, so he couldn’t make it.)

So, in June 2008, the Judge was ordered to apologize. But he didn’t send the letter to the Judicial Discipline Commission until over a year later – on July 24, 2009! How was it received by the wrongfully imprisoned girlfriend? We may never know! Per The Las Vegas Sun:

[Ms.] Chrzanowski could not be reached for comment, but her lawyer, Cal Potter, said Wednesday that the apology, coming so many years later, is “hollow” and now “meaningless” to his client. He said he hasn’t been able to locate Chrzanowski, who may have left Las Vegas, to send her a copy of the letter.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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If you are among those who can look at a piece of bologna and still eat it, that may change after you read this. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch:

[Ex-deputy] Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner’s penis.

What was the evidence that this grade-school prank actually happened?

Cantwell, of Park Point Lane in Lewis Center in Delaware County, and another deputy, Phillip Barnett, photographed the sandwich incident in the Downtown jail. Both were fired by Sheriff Jim Karnes in May.

Photos? Were these guys in a cave when the Abu Ghraib photos were EVERYWHERE? So what was the punishment?

Franklin County Municipal Judge Harland H. Hale fined Cantwell $500 but suspended a 90-day jail sentence, provided that he complete his [5 years of] probation.

What about the sandwich-eater?

Copeland and two other prisoners have sued the county.

Since the Juice has a soft spot for personal injury lawyers, he is really hoping that Mr. Copeland filed this action pro se. You can read more here.

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Just how did 2 men in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania avoid the daily maximum withdrawal amount on the ATM at the Delaware County Memorial Hospital? They took the ATM! During visiting hours! Per myfoxfilly.com, it may have had up to $96,000 in it. The security tape above shows most of the heist.

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Maybe McDonald’s has sold over 100 billion burgers, but McCurry (Malaysian Chicken Curry) wouldn’t be intimidated. As reported by the BBC News:

The American fast-food giant McDonald’s has lost an eight-year legal battle to prevent a Malaysian restaurant calling itself McCurry.

Talk about David vs. Goliath.

McCurry opened for business in Kuala Lumpur in 1999, and serves Indian dishes, including fish head curry and breads including tandoori naan.

So it was McDonald’s (with over 30,000 “restaurants” worldwide, including 180 in Malaysia) against 1 McCurry. With the end of the litigation, McCurry looks to change that.

“We can now go ahead with whatever we plan to do such as opening new branches,” [McCurry owner P Suppiah] said.

Here’s the source.

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Remember when a bunch of people at UCLA Medical Center snuck a peak at Brittany Spears’ electronic medical records? No? I didn’t either. Well they did. As reported by California Healthline:

The Department of Public Health said 53 employees, including 14 doctors, at UCLA Medical Center breached Spears’ records on two occasions.

They were disciplined or fired, right?

None of the physicians quit or were fired.

What what what? None of the physicians? Then the nonphysicians must have skated by too, right? Nope.

18 [nonphysician] employees resigned, retired or were dismissed after the violations were discovered, according to UCLA data.

I’m guessing this is why:

In the past, UCLA has said physicians are overseen by a group of their peers, while other employees report to the human resources department.

Lovely. Here’s the source.

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So this woman (no, that’s not her, but could you resist using that picture?) crashed her car and refused a breathalyzer test. For her crime, she was sentenced to 80 hours of community service. Apparently nobody anticipated that she would show up for the community service in 4-inch heels. She was sent back to court, as the boots were deemed a health and safety hazard. What do you think should happen? Here are excerpts of the story from The Daily Mail:

Debbie Stallard was told she couldn’t do the manual work because her boots were a health and safety hazard.

The 47-year-old, from Paignton in Devon, claimed she was unable to wear flat shoes for medical reasons. ‘Since I was a little girl I have only been able to walk on the balls of my feet. Even my slippers have two and a half inch heels.

‘The long and the short of it is that I can’t wear flat shoes because of a medical condition I have had since I was a child. ‘It’s health and safety gone mad. I was made to feel stupid’.

The mother-of-two had been sentenced to 80 hours community service after she was convicted of damaging a vehicle and failing to provide a specimen of breath.

Within 10 days she arrived at the probation service’s community payback workshop in Torquay but was told her towering boots would be unsuitable for ‘the vigorous work ahead’.

The probation service took her back to court last Friday asking that the community service order be revoked and replaced with another punishment.

Judges have adjourned the case until more detailed medical reports are made available.

Probation officer Heidi Randle said: ‘She attended on the date required but was sent away because she was wearing heels. ‘We tried to contact the GP [General Practitioner] in this case and received a letter which was non-committal and does not say anything specific about wearing flats.

Starting to smell a bit?

‘It is a non-NHS [National Health Service] matter and, for a fee, he would write a more detailed report’.

Or does the doctor just want some dough?

Ms Stallard’s solicitor John Darby said: ‘My client has always lived on her toes. ‘She has always worn heels and in her last job had to sign a disclaimer so she could wear high heels to work. She can’t walk in flats.’

A spokesman for the Probation Service said: ‘We take the health and safety legislation for offenders very seriously. ‘Ms Stallard was offered protective footwear but refused to comply. We had no option but to return the order to court for magistrates to re-sentence as they see fit.’

Interesting. Here’s the source.

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