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You are not going to believe what this formerly respectable couple did to try and avoid a £60 ($88 US) ticket and three points. And it’s not like it would have put the wife over the top – her driving record was spotless. So Mrs. Diane Rodger, a lecturer [professor] was doing 40 mph in a 30mph zone when she was nailed by a speeding camera. Instead of just paying the fine, what did she and her husband Michael (a magistrate!) do? As reported in the Mail Online:

After consulting an internet website for tips on challenging speeding tickets, they altered the car’s appearance.

They changed the style of the Skoda’s number plate and removed stickers from its windscreen in a bizarre attempt to persuade police it had been ‘cloned’ and that she was not the driver…

Then they tried to weasel out of it.

Over the next three months Nottinghamshire Central Ticket Office, which deals with speeding fines, received five letters contesting the ticket, all signed by ‘Mr Rodger JP’.

They variously claimed he had no knowledge of the offence, that the car was regularly used by others, that the car may have been ‘cloned’, that the car was parked in Nottingham city centre at the time of the offence and that the captured image was not clear enough to identify the driver.

The letters also claimed that the middle letter on the number plate was indistinct and that his vehicle did not have stickers in the windscreen, unlike the images of the speeding car.

So the cops went to their house to ask them about the letters. What did they say?

Mrs Rodger stated she had, while Mr Rodger claimed he had signed them without reading them. Thomas Elmer, defending Mr Rodger, said: ‘It was his wife who wished to evade the penalty but it was their joint idea how to go about it.”

Partners in an asinine crime. The Judge agreed.

The couple wept as Judge David Brunning told them they had been ‘staggeringly stupid’ and that he had ‘just been persuaded’ not to send them to prison. Instead, they were each given six-month jail sentences, suspended for two years.

They were also ordered to carry out 300 hours of unpaid work each and to pay £5,000 costs between them after admitting intending to pervert the course of justice.

Here’s the source.

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The Juice enjoys the occasional game of chance. But not if it’s going to end this way … As reported by the Palm Beach Post News:

Anthony Lindsey, 18, of Belle Glade … is charged with attempted first degree murder, attempted robbery and aggravated battery, all with a firearm, in a December assault on Edenson Major, 20, of Belle Glade, authorities said.

According to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office arrest affidavit, a dispute arose after Lindsey and Major played a game of dice on the afternoon of Dec. 1. Major told investigators that Lindsey became upset when he lost $80 to Major, as well as monies to others.


Lindsey left the game and later returned with a 9mm handgun, the affidavit said. He approached Major and said ‘gimme back my money’ and then pulled out the gun and started shooting. The group playing the game fled the area and Lindsey chased Major down the street as he continued shooting.

Here’s the source.

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For real. Apparently it wasn’t the first time Michael Rainey’s cat mistook neighbor Joseph Loflin’s yard for a litter box. As reported by Click2Houston.com:

“‘Your cat has been back there defecating in my back yard,'” [former police officer] Loflin said he told his neighbor. “I used the slang word, the four-letter word to describe what the cat was doing.”

The “slang word?”

Both men agree that Loflin used the “s” word. Rainey said his 13-year-old daughter was nearby.

Not the S-bomb! Now it’s on.

“I said, ‘Look, I’ve asked you twice. This is the third time. Don’t use that language in front of my daughter,'” Rainey said he told Loflin. “That’s when he responded, ‘There’s nothing wrong with the word, and if I want to use the word, I’ll use the word.'”

Uh huh. So there’s a 13-year-old out there who hasn’t heard the word “shit” before? He probably thinks his daughter isn’t on Facebook … So how did the police get involved?

“I didn’t call him a filthy name,” Loflin said. “I didn’t call him … I didn’t use any profanity towards him. I used it as a noun, then I used it as an adverb to describe what his cat was doing. I think it was greatly taken out of context.” After Loflin threatened to get a trap, Rainey called the police. The police wrote Loflin a ticket for disorderly conduct because of language.

The Juice is glad to hear that Mr. Loflin will fight this asinine ticket.

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I’m guessing this Detroit man (no, not the costumed dude above) was trying to lend a hand to the police in dealing with prostitution in the area. So he posed as a cop, and busted up a “transaction.” Only problem was – he stepped into a sting! The “prostitute” was actually a cop. And a our would-be cop is in a world of trouble. From wxyz in Detroit:

Investigators say that around 5:00 p.m., Wednesday, the man pulled up to a female detective in the area of Vernor and Oakdale on the city’s east side. At the time the detective, who was posing as a prostitute, was talking with another man.

The suspect, who was in a red 1994 Ford Ranger yelled at the detective to “get off the street.” Officers say this is when he flashed a badge. The other man sped off, and officers say the suspect began following the detective ranting that he was a cop. When the detective revealed she was a police officer, the man took off. He was arrested a short time later by the nearby arrest team.

When questioned, the suspect denied having a badge. However, officers say the found a Detroit Police department badge, a loaded .40 caliber Glock pistol and hats and clothing with DPD logos during a search of his truck.

Damn! A loaded glock? In addition to the insult of unknowingly stepping into a real police sting, the charges ….

The suspect is being held in Hamtramck until he can be arraigned on one count of impersonating a police officer.

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Per the Court, Ken Parks

… attacked his parents‑in‑law, killing one and seriously injuring the other. The incident occurred at their home, some 23 km. [14 miles] from respondent’s [Parks’] residence, during the night while they were both asleep in bed. Respondent [Parks] had driven there by car. Immediately after the incident, the respondent went to a nearby police station, again driving his own car, and told them what he had done. Respondent claimed to have been sleepwalking throughout the incident.

Mr. Parks was charged with first degree murder and attempted murder. So how did the trial go? Per the Court:

At the trial respondent presented a defence of automatism. The testimony of five expert witnesses called by the defence was not contradicted by the Crown. This evidence was that respondent was sleepwalking and that sleepwalking is not a neurological, psychiatric or other illness. The trial judge put only the defence of automatism to the jury, which acquitted respondent of first degree murder and then of second degree murder. The judge then acquitted the respondent of the charge of attempted murder. The Court of Appeal unanimously upheld the acquittal. At issue here is whether sleepwalking should be classified as non‑insane automatism resulting in an acquittal or as a “disease of the mind” (insane automatism), giving rise to the special verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity.

So does he walk on the “insanity” issue too? The Supreme Court says … the acquittal was proper. Parks did not have a “disease of the mind,” so the trial court properly refused to give the jury that option.

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Movies … real life. Movies … real life. See where we’re going here? Mr. Travis Hayter apparently confused the two, much to the detriment of fellow golfer Alan Bezanson. As reported by the CBC:

A man who hit a golf ball straight at another player, injuring him, has been ordered by the Nova Scotia Court of Appeal to pay more than $225,000 in damages. Plaintiff Alan Bezanson says he hasn’t been able to work since he was injured on June 8, 2002.

The New Glasgow, N.S., man and the defendant, Travis Hayter, were golfing in a foursome that day as part of a wedding celebration for Bezanson’s cousin. By the time they reached the 16th hole, Hayter had consumed nine beers and a half pint of tequila, the court heard.

9 beers AND half a pint of tequila? Incredibly, not only was the dude still standing, he was going all Happy Gimore.

That’s when he ran up to his ball and took a swing out of turn. Someone yelled, “Heads up, he’s going to hit again.” But it was too late for Bezanson, who was standing no more than 20 metres away. Hayter hit what court documents refer to as a “so-called Happy Gilmore shot,” named after a film character played by Adam Sandler.

According to court documents, Bezanson put up his hand to protect himself and the ball hit his left wrist, causing permanent damage to his radial nerve.

Bezanson, a woodcutter, has been unable to work without pain. When the case originally went to court, a judge awarded $227,500 to Bezanson, a father of three.

How did “Happy” take it? He appealed. The grounds?

… it wasn’t the first Happy Gilmore-style shot he had taken that day and Bezanson should have known what was coming.

The result? Not good for Happy.

…the Court of Appeal dismissed that argument, upholding the earlier court’s ruling that Hayter’s behaviour was not a “natural risk” of golfing.

Hayter was ordered to pay Bezanson $85,000 in damages, $67,500 in lost income and $75,000 for lost future earning capacity.

Ouch, all around.

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If you are one of those folks who refuses to carry a cell phone, I seriously doubt that this story will change your mind. But for those who carry them religiously (me?), and feel strange if we don’t have them, vindication! Check out this story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

The robber came in the door of the Beverage Mart liquor store in Roswell, waving a big, black hunting knife.

He wanted the money in the knapsack. Now!

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Folks in Valentine, Nebraska can now breathe a huge sigh of relief because the Butt Bandit has been arrested. It’s not clear why they call him the Butt Bandit since neither his butt, nor any other part of him, ever stole anything. To the contrary, he actually leaves something behind [bad pun, I know], his butt (and/or groin) prints in vaseline or lotion. As reported in The North Platte Bulletin:

The rash of bizarre behavior began in May 2007. Valentine police already had fielded about 20 different reports by this time a year ago.

Rewards offered through Crime Stoppers failed to provide any leads. No physical structure has been damaged, although producing the printings probably involved indecent exposure, officials believe.

The charges? They haven’t been filed yet – perhaps because they’re tring to come up with the crime? Criminal vaselining? First-degree buttprinting? Here’s the source.

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Irony? Sixty-one-year-old Janusz Nowak of Sosnowiec, Poland was sick and tired of people vandalizing his bus stop. So, he pasted the following notice on the pavement:

“Dear Vandals – please stop destroying the bus-stop.”

And guess what happened? He was arrested for vandalism!

A police spokesman said: “Although the man had good intentions and wanted to express his indignation towards hooligans’ behaviour in the neighbourhood he unfortunately broke the law himself.”

What a brilliant use of police resources. Here’s the story.

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