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You’ve occasionally had one too many. Admit it. But perhaps not as many as a San Diego, California man recently did, as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune.

A Pacific Beach man had a surprise waiting for him in his living room Sunday morning: a stranger sleeping naked on his couch.

And just in case you need another reason to lock your doors …

The naked man had mistakenly arrived at the condominium after a night of drinking, inexplicably took off his clothes on the porch and entered the unlocked front door, San Diego Police Lt. Jim Filley said.

After discovering the disrobed interloper around 7:30 a.m., the homeowner went back upstairs to his bedroom, armed himself and told his wife to call 911, Filley said.

“This gentleman thought he had been walking into his own home, which is in Mission Valley” nearly 20 miles away, the officer said. “We think it was an honest mistake.”

The homeowner declined to press trespassing charges against the intruder.

“He was sober, so he got dressed and went on his way,” Filley said.

Here The Juice was getting ready to holler about getting a gun out to deal with a naked guy, and the gunslinger goes and does the right thing. Well done, sir.

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It was the night of January 30, 1974, when a young woman, who shall remain nameless, was arrested for prostitution. Having solicited a police officer (doh!), she sought a sentence of probation. Magistrate Judge Richard J. Rome complied. Unfortunately, he also issued the following Memorandum Decision:

This is the saga of ___ ___ ___,
Whose ancient profession brings her before us.
On January 30th, 1974,
This lass agreed to work as a whore.

Her great mistake, as was to unfold,
Was the enticing of a cop named Harold.
Unknown to ___, this officer, surnamed Harris,
Was duty-bent on ___’s lot to embarrass.

At the Brass Rail they met,
And for twenty dollars the trick was all set.
In separate cars they did pursue,
To the sensuous apartment of ___ ___.

Bound for her bed she spared not a minute,
Followed by Harris with his heart not in it!
As she prepared to repose there in her bay,
She was arrested by Harris, to her great dismay!

Off to the jailhouse poor ___ was taken,
Printed and mugged, her confidence shaken.
Formally charged by this great State,
With offering to Harris to fornicate.
Her arraignment was formal, then back to jail,
And quick as a flash she was admitted to bail.
On February 26, 1974,
The State of Kansas tried this young whore.
A prosecutor named Brown,
Represented the Crown.

___ ___, her freedom in danger,
Was being defended by a chap named Granger.
Testimony was presented and arguments heard,
Poor ___ waited for the Judge’s last word.

The finding was guilty, with no great alarm,
And ___ was sentenced to the Women’s State Farm.
An appeal was taken, to a higher court ___ went,
The thousand dollar fine was added to imprisonment.

Trial was set in this higher court,
But the route of appeal ___ chose to abort.
And back to Judge Rome, came this lady of the night,
To plead for her freedom and end this great fight.

So under advisement ___’s freedom was taken,
And in the bastille this lady did waken.
The judge showed mercy and ___ was free,
But back to the street she could not flee.

The fine she’d pay while out on parole,
But not from men she used to cajole.
From her ancient profession she’d been busted,
And to society’s rules she must be adjusted.

If from all of this a moral doth unfurl,
It is that Pimps do not protect the working girl!

The matter was brought to the attention of the Commission on Judicial Qualifications to determine if Judge Rome violated the Code of Judicial Conduct. What do you think they decided?

Continue reading →

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If the wacky law isn’t bothering you, why bother the wacky law? Maybe to look like you are doing something? In any event, as reported by The Edinburgh Evening News:

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has launched a drive to banish both types, inviting people across the UK to nominate needless laws and excessive regulations which should be ditched.

Any examples?

Failing to report grey squirrels in your garden, it turns out, is illegal. So is being drunk in charge of a cow.

Fans of mince pies, though, should count their blessings that they don’t live south of the Border, as eating the sweet treats on Christmas Day is still banned in England under a law brought in by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th century.

More? Okay.

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen’s image upside-down.

A law passed in 1313 makes it illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour. Bizarrely, it is also illegal to die there – allegedly because anyone who dies in parliament is technically entitled to a state funeral and the authorities once wanted to guard against such potential expense.

And if you have to go to the bathroom …

… a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants …

But …

It is apparently legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

There is also seemingly a law that if someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

Good to know, that last one. Here are a few more:

It appears still to be illegal to stand within 100 yards of a ruling monarch if you are not wearing any socks.

It is also against the law to allow your pet to fornicate with any pet of the royal household.

Okay, so why bother?

Mr Clegg believes letting dormant laws accumulate on the statute book sends out the “wrong signal”.

Really? The Juice feels otherwise, and agrees with Professor Kenneth Norrie, head of the law school at Strathclyde University.

“When I heard about this initiative, it struck me it was a bit of a wasted exercise,” he says. “Civil servants will be able to advise ministers which laws are causing a nuisance by being there.”

Hear, hear. Here’s the source.

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So, after discovering the glitch (the man’s account was only debited 1/1,000th of the amount withdrawn!), he made an additional 171 withdrawals, to the tune of about $25,000. And yes, it was in China, where he could have been sentenced to death (for real). But really, isn’t a life sentence just a little bit harsh? Yes, said the Guangdong Provincial High People’s Court. After a retrial, Xu Ting was sentenced to 5 years. Here’s what his father had to say:

He is innocent He just made a silly mistake. So he should be set free.

Dude – 171 “silly mistakes?” After which your son was on the run for a year before being caught? Xu said he won’t appeal. To read more (just a bit), click here.

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This one sounds like something out of a movie. Just when you think, okay, that has to be it, the dude keeps it going. It all started with a call to the Wyoming Highway Patrol reporting a man driving erratically. Per The Kemmerer Gazette:

The first caller advised the patrol dispatcher that a white car was swerving all over the highway and had run off the road. The driver of the white car was out of the car and was running back and forth across the roadway in front of traffic. The dispatch center began getting multiple calls from motorists advising that the white male driver of the … vehicle was standing out in the roadway and was wearing no clothes.

Drunk or crazy guy swerving, running off the road, streaking …

Approximately four minutes later, calls were received that advised the naked man, later identified as 26-year-old Armondo Cano from Moroni, Utah, was now fighting with another man. Cano eventually re-entered his vehicle and headed eastbound on the Interstate once again.

Naked fighting man, now naked driving man …

Approximately 17 miles later Cano intentionally rammed another eastbound vehicle occupied by a couple from Cheyenne.

Dude! Really?

When both vehicles stopped Cano, still unclothed, attempted to enter the couple’s vehicle. Seeing the crash and unaware of what was really happening, a female passerby stopped to offer assistance.


Cano forced his way into her vehicle climbing into the back seat as the female driver fled her vehicle on foot.

Smart gal. So that’s it? Nope.

Cano found a 9mm semi-automatic handgun in the female s vehicle and began firing it from inside the vehicle out the closed windows. At this time it is unclear how many rounds he fired or exactly what or who he was shooting at.

Once the shooting began the Cheyenne couple [who he’d rammed] attempted to drive away from the scene however Cano, who was now back in his own vehicle, chased after them and rammed them once again.

Reminds The Juice of “The Hitcher”

Cano, still in possession of the semi-automatic firearm, traveled approximately 3 miles further down the road where he stopped, exited his vehicle and then lay in the highway with the handgun.

Dude has to be gassed by now, right? Um, not yet.

Several truck drivers and motorists stopped and Cano, with a pipe, began breaking out the glass windows in an unknown number of trucks. One truck driver was cut however it is unknown haw badly he was cut or by what.

Help, police!

At this point, one Trooper arrived on scene and attempted to take Cano in to custody. A struggle began between Cano and the Trooper. The Trooper was assisted by several of the truck drivers in wrestling Cano to the ground. A Sweetwater County Sheriff s Deputy arrived moments later and the individuals were able to gain control of Cano which enabled the officers to handcuff him.

So what happened to Mr. Cano?

[He] is currently being held on an emergency detention and has not been charged … but does face numerous felony charges.

The Juice needs to take a breather. That was one helluva rampage. Here’s the source.

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The Juice is not willing to excuse parents who FORGOT – for 40 minutes – that they left their kid locked in the car … while they ate. (See yesterday’s post.) So, you can imagine how The Juice feels about a parent who INTENTIONALLY left her 2-year-old child in a car for 30-45 minutes while she did some [allegedly] bad things. As reported by the Argus Leader (South Dakota):

A Sioux Falls woman reportedly left her 2-year-old daughter in a running car early this morning while she played video lottery.

Bad, right? It gets worse.

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Everyone is forgetful occasionally. But some things you just can’t forget. Like that you left your baby in the car … for 40 minutes. It happened in Colorado Springs. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

Incident Date: June 24, 2010 – Time: 1:30:00 PM – Location: Panera Bread Restaurant

Summary: On the above date and time, officers from the Gold Hill Division were dispatched to the Panera Bread Restaurant to investigate the report of a child that had been left in a car. Officers determined that a 9 month old child had inadvertently been left in a locked car in the parking lot for approximately 40 minutes while the parents had gone into the restaurant for a meal. When the parents came out and realized their mistake, they took immediate actions to call the police and medical personnel.

Two questions: 1) HOW DO BOTH PARENTS FORGET ABOUT A CHILD FOR 40 MINUTES? 2) How can it possibly take you 40 minutes to eat at Panera? Back to the report ..

They took first-aid steps for their child’s welfare and the child recovered and was responsive on scene. The baby was transported to Memorial Hospital (Central) as a precautionary measure for evaluation. There was no indication of any injury to the child and he was released to the custody of the parents.

So what do you think? Crime or no crime?

After an exhaustive investigation and consultation with appropriate agencies, no criminal charges were filed in this case. This incident serves as a reminder that leaving children unattended in a vehicle is dangerous and potentially fatal.

Really? Perhaps the reminder would be a little more powerful if the parents were punished!

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No doubt that, unfortunately, lots of people have pushed their kids around in a stroller while intoxicated. But this takes the cake, as reported by annarbor.com:

Ypsilanti police arrested a drunken couple early this morning after they were pushing a baby stroller with two young boys, open containers of alcohol and a bayonet inside, a police news release said.

According to the release, officers responded to the 500 block of Perry Street about 1:30 a.m. after the woman attempted to grab a bicycle off someone’s porch.

Security guards had been watching the couple and detained the woman, the release said. Officers found the woman’s sons, ages 1 and 4, in the stroller – along with the open containers and a “double-edged bayonet,” the release said.

Police said both were highly intoxicated and a “long way” from their residence.

The 30-year-old woman and 52-year-old man, both from Ypsilanti Township, were taken into custody. The woman was taken to a local hospital to be checked out after she complained of abdominal pain, the release said. The children were turned over to a relative who lives nearby, the release said.

Just to recap: The kids are 1 and 4. The man and woman were “highly intoxicated.” It was 1:30 a.m.! They were a “long way” from home. There was a “double-edged bayonet” in the stroller. There were open containers in the stroller. Oh, and the woman was trying to steal a bike. The charges?

It’s unclear what charges may be filed in the case.

The Juice can think of a few …

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One might think the f-bomb has the power of an a-bomb, the way folks deal with it. Take the recent case of a judge in New York who was not pleased with the shirt an alternate juror was wearing. Per the New York Post:

The shirt in question, worn by 19-year-old alternate No. 3, Nneka Eneorj, as she sat in the front row of the jury box, caught the judge’s eye just as the defendant was about to take the stand. “WHO THE F[UCK] IS KANYE WEST?” the shirt read, the offending obscenity resting just above the wood veneer rail of the jury box.

Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Thomas Farber ordered the other jurors out of the courtroom — directing Eneorj to stand before his bench.


“Do you think it’s appropriate to wear a shirt that says ‘f—‘ on it in my courtroom?” the judge asked, anger in his voice.

Based on the reporting, The Juice is unclear. Did the judge say “f—” (How do you pronounce that anyway?) or “fuck”? If it was the latter, oh no you din’t! Anyway …

When Eneorj started to protest about having a sweater on — not that it covered the front of the shirt — the judge cut her off, demanding, “You’re excused.” “Sounds like a personal problem,” she sniffed of the judge as she walked out of the courthouse, indignantly.

So she’s already an alternate juror, and is not even given the opportunity to turn her shirt inside out? Oh, and here’s some of the testimony from the case later that day:

Officer David London — caught on surveillance tape delivering a violent, 20-blow baton beating to a prone suspect in an Upper West Side lobby two years ago — let at least a dozen “F-bombs” fly as he recounted what suspect Walter Harvin was purportedly threatening as the blows fell. Among Harvin’s shouts, London told the remaining jurors, were, “You can’t take me,” “I’m gonna f—ing kill you,” and, it’s derivation, “I’m gonna f—ing kill you motherf—er.”

And here’s Ms. Eneorj after leaving the courthouse:

“You will not believe what the f[uck] just happened!” she gabbed into her cell phone, as two news photographers snapped away on the sidewalk outside.

Here’s the source, including a photo.

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Maybe it wasn’t a very judicial comment, but is it a firing offense? Apparently so. Here’s what happened, as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle:

A retired San Joaquin County judge is about to lose his part-time job as a substitute jurist.

California Chief Justice Ron George is declining to renew Judge Peter Saiers’ court assignments after July 2. A spokeswoman declined to give the reason, saying it’s considered a personnel matter.

So what caused all the fuss?

The Stockton Record reported Friday that Saiers won’t be put back on the bench because he used profane language to describe two robbery defendants appearing before him in a 2008 hearing. According to court documents cited by the newspaper, Saiers referred to the men as “lazy (expletive).”

Again with the expletive deleted! The world would end if the paper reported “lazy shits” or “lazy fucks”? I’m sure it’s a “family newspaper.” Please. Anyway, back to the [former] Judge …

A state appellate court later ruled that Saiers didn’t jeopardize the case, but it scolded him over the comment.

No matter. He got fired anyway, though he has asked the Chief Justice to reconsider. The Juice humbly requests, sir, that you reconsider.