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No doubt there are many ways to smuggle things into a country. But check out this lizard-smuggling story from KTLA-TV:

A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest.

Special agents with the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife arrested Michael Plank, 40, of Lomita, as he tried to clear U.S. customs at the airport on a flight from Australia last week.

Agents say the lizards were concealed in a money belt that was strapped to Plank’s torso. Inspectors seized two geckos, eleven skinks, and two monitor lizards. Monitor lizards are a protected species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The lizards are valued at $8,500 according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Special Agent Mona Ianelli.

The crime and the time?

Federal law required that travelers declare items brought to the United States from abroad, including wildlife. Concealing the illegal import of wildlife into the United States is a felony. The maximum penalty is 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.


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At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can’t just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher’s coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher’s ice coffee.

In case you might be thinking the charge is a misdemeanor …

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

And if you’re wondering how the staples went down, surprisingly, the answer is: unnoticed.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

But that may not be the end of it for the teacher.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff’s Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher’s condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

Here’s the source.

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So this woman, Briana “don’t make me pounce on you” Pouncy, told her live-in boyfriend Joseph Boykins to do the dishes. He didn’t. When she came home to a sink full of dirty dishes, it was on. They argued, and she told Mr. Boykins to leave. When he refused, it got ugly. Per the Fort Worth Star-Telegram:

… police say she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face [causing visible cuts] and swung at him with a sword …


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career%20criminal%20Life%20of%20Crime%20spongebob.jpg A 26-year-old man in Northern Ireland has 104 convictions. His crimes include, per The Belfast Telegraph,

… a string of offences including burglary, theft, assault and other dishonesty type offences.

And, per the police, “every single time he was granted bail he broke the conditions.” After a recent arrest, he asked to be let out on bail, and … got it! He was released …

… on the condition that he resides at an agreed address, adheres to a strict curfew, does not enter Belfast in the evening, does not drink any alcohol and takes a breathalyser test any time police request it.

Of course, this time was different, right? Surely he learned his lesson.

When the Telegraph called at his address in Co Down on two occasions this week we were told he was not there — during the hours of a strict curfew.

An occupant at the house said she had not seen him and was unsure of his whereabouts.

Doh! You can read more (a lot) here.

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Things must not be going well if you get to a place where you need to return a box of condoms for a refund. And, when the clerk won’t give you a refund, you call 911, claiming that you were robbed. As reported in the North Jersey Record,

Kadien Jackson, 21, of Blauvelt, N.Y., told police he made the bogus report to help him get his money back. Instead, he was charged with making a false report — a crime that carries prison time upon conviction.

“So, what are you in for?”

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One can imagine the would-be abductors talking beforehand: “Hey, how about that kid?” “Sure, why not?” Here’s why not: Not only was he on his way home boxing training, but the kid is “the two-time Australian junior champion and two-time Queensland champion.” As reported in The Cairns Post:

It seemed innocent enough – three people in a mini-van asking for directions at a well-lit intersection at 8pm on Wednesday in the quiet rural community of Yungaburra.

“It seems so innocent,” 15-year-old Jackson said yesterday. “They stopped and asked for directions and I walked up to the campervan to help. The sliding door opened fast and I spun around to see what was happening.

Here it comes …

“Then this bloke grabbed me by the collar and tried to drag me into the van. He was really trying to drag me in but I pulled back with all my weight and then I hit him in the left ear.”


It only took one punch from the two-time Australian junior champion and two-time Queensland champion to send the alleged abductors fleeing up Maple St from the scene.

Nice. Here’s the source, including a photo of the pugilist.

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There are many ways to steal. But have you ever heard of a thief whose tool of the trade is a vacuum? Well, you’re about to. As reported by The Lincoln Journal Star:

The vacuum remains at large, but Lincoln police ticketed a man who they believe used one to suck a bunch of quarters out of several apartment house laundry machines.

After surveillance photos from the March 4 laundry room theft were released Friday, police received three tips via Crimestoppers that identified the suspect as William Logan Jr., 40, 5709 Hartley St.

There is a mitigating factor.

He had a mountain bike in tow …

The Juice has a soft spot for cyclists … Here’s the source.

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The term “road rage” is used a lot, probably too much. But this case right here, this is definitely road rage. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

The onslaught began when Bonnie N. Coleman, 31, was driving west on Tampa Road in Oldsmar and Therese O’Neill, 29, cut in front of her 2012 Saturn station wagon.

Oh no you didn’t just cut in front of her.

Coleman didn’t like that, deputies said, so she ran into the rear bumper of O’Neill’s 1992 Dodge station wagon. “They didn’t know each other,” said Pinellas County sheriff’s spokeswoman Cecilia Barreda. “It just appears the victim had switched lanes and the suspect became very angry.”

So she bumped her. Not cool, but … oh wait, there’s more.

Coleman trailed O’Neill and bumped her car several times, officials said, before they reached East Lake Road and were stopped by a red light.

Coleman then tried to push O’Neill’s station wagon into the intersection, deputies said.

Holy crap! Sure seems like she trying to get Ms. O’Neill either killed or seriously injured.

That’s when O’Neill retaliated. She backed up into Coleman’s car, then ran the light to try to escape the enraged driver, according to the Sheriff’s Office.

“I think she was trying her best to do what she could to get away from this woman,” Barreda said. “But (Coleman) continued and continued and was so persistent. It didn’t end.

Deputies said Coleman followed O’Neill from Tampa Road onto Mayfair Place in Palm Harbor, where the two women got out of their cars and began to fight. Coleman pulled O’Neill’s hair, kicked and punched her, officials said.

A 45-year-old witness to the road rage incident, Jill Ann Atwood, stopped nearby, called 911, then got out of her car, ran up to the brawling women and attempted to help O’Neill.

That’s got to be it. No?

Coleman struck Atwood in the eye with her fist, deputies said.

That, actually was the end of it, pretty much.

Coleman was charged with aggravated battery, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle and simple battery. Deputies said she was uncooperative to the last and acted “agitated” as she was taken into custody.

As for the victims …

Both O’Neill and Atwood were taken to Mease Countryside Hospital in Safety Harbor with non-life-threatening injuries following the attack.

Whew! The Juice is exhausted. Here’s the source.

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If this were to become a trend, perhaps golf would become a lot more popular? As reported by kmov.com (St. Louis):

On Monday afternoon, police arrested two women after they allegedly exposed themselves while on an Alton, Illinois golf course.

And people say golf is boring …

Officers with the Madison County Sheriff’s Office responded to Woodlands Golf Course at 2839 Harris Lane around 2 p.m. in reference to a citizen complaint. The caller stated that two women were exposing their “sexual organs” while on the course.

When officers arrived, they saw Alicia Binford, 43, and Shelly Lewis, 45, lewdly exposing their breasts.

Binford and Lewis, both from O’Fallon, Missouri, were arrested and charged with public indecency. They were taken to the Madison County Jail and held on $100 bond.

Here’s the source, including mug shots of the ladies.

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When he was a kid, in addition to being a tool, this California elected official must have really sucked at baseball. Sadly, below you can see him taking it out on his stepson.


You can read more about it here.