Articles Posted in Juice Drops

Squeezed on:

By

i%20love%20my%20car.jpg I don’t think so. Not like Mr. Sandy Wong, of Edmonton. As reported in the Edmonton Sun, here are a few details of his relationship with a BMW:

Wong was busted for masturbating while sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan on display at the Home and Garden Show at the Northlands AgriCom.

According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he is “sexually attracted” to the BMW’s rooftop because “it’s curved like a woman’s body, the sex appeal, it felt good.” Court heard Wong also gets aroused by certain classic cars, motorcycles and women with big feet.

Shazam! The time? After pleading guilty to indecent exposure and mischief, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 2 years probation.

Squeezed on:

By

kegs%20beer%20lots.jpg Talk about weird laws. In the state of Utah – I shit you not – it is illegal to have a keg party! Section 32A-12-206 – Unlawful sale or supply of beer – provides as follows:

(1) A person may not sell, offer to sell, or otherwise furnish or supply beer to the general public in containers larger than two liters. This does not preclude licensed beer wholesalers from selling, offering to sell, or otherwise furnishing or supplying beer in containers larger than two liters to beer retailers authorized by this title to dispense beer on draft for consumption on the beer retailer’s licensed premises.

(2) A person may not purchase or possess beer in containers larger than two liters unless the person is a beer retailer authorized by this title to dispense beer on draft for consumption on the beer retailer’s licensed premises.

Two liters! That’s exactly 67.6280451 ounces – less than a six-pack-worth of beer! People, rise up!

Squeezed on:

By

judge%20mean%20bad%20evil%20nasty%20crazy%20weird.gif Judge John P. Wulle, of the Clark County, Washington Superior Court, was attending a conference entitled “Planning Your Juvenile Drug Court in Los Angeles in July 2006. I know, skip the details – get to the dirt. Here’s some of what he said, as set forth in the “Stipulation” entered into by the Judge and the Commission on Judicial Conduct:

During a breakout session, the team’s facilitator wrote a star on an assignment the team completed and said jokingly, “Clark County gets a star.” Respondent [Judge Wulle] replied, “I don’t need a star, I’m not a Jew.”

Later in the week, during a break in the conference, other faculty members asked [Judge Wulle] who Clark County’s facilitator was, and he answered, “the black gay guy.”

A team member asked [Judge Wulle] to lower his voice … and he acknowledged the request by raising his middle finger at the team member.

During a breakout session … [Judge Wulle] became frustrated with the pace or direction of discussion, and announced it was time for the group to move on to the next topic. A fellow team member spoke up, “No Judge, this is important, we need to work through this,” or words to that effect. In response to this seemingly respectful entreaty, [Judge Wulle] angrily yelled, “F_ _ _ you” and threw his pen down on a table and left the room. [Regular Juice readers know that I don’t delete expletives. The Commission does, though.]

Zoinks! Maybe it’s me, but it seems like Judge Wulle wasn’t real pleased about attending the conference. If you want to read the full “Stipulation, Agreement and Order of Censure,” click here.

Squeezed on:

By

What’s the latest vanity plate to be retroactively deemed offensive? Hailing from the great state of New York, the newly banned plate is “GETOSAMA.” The plate was issued to retired NYPD sergeant Arno Herwerth, and he is pissed! Said Mr. Herwerth:

This is unbelievable… It’s unpatriotic and absolutely disgusts me that anyone would consider that in any way offensive other than if you’re a member of al Qaeda… You look back at Pearl Harbor and WWII and you wonder, would they be offended by, ‘Get Hitler’?

Hitler and Pearl Harbor? That must make anyone of a certain age think of this truly classic clip from “Animal House” during which Bluto asks “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
You can read more (a fair amount) about the plates and Mr. Herwerth here.

Squeezed on:

By

foot_lick.jpg The store, that is. I don’t understand what drives a foot fetishist, though when I think about the sweet, gentle curve of the arch, the juicy meat of the big toe … oh, sorry. Anyway, I don’t know what Robert James, Sr. of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania was thinking when he went to Target, posing as a podiatrist. He identified himself as a doctor, and asked a woman what kind of shoe she was wearing because he was concerned about her arch support.

In furtherance of his Hippocratic oath, Dr. James got on his knees and “began to manipulate her toes and touch her foot” according to Officer Patrick Malloy. Then the jig was up. The woman told Target’s security about the good doctor. They found Mr. James in his car. He was [cover your kid’s eyes] playing with himself. What did the fuzz do? “Um, sorry to interrupt you, doctor…” No, they hit him with charges of indecent exposure and open lewdness. And surely he was charged with foot fondling? Nope. It’s not a crime in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania! Perhaps coincidentally, next year’s FLAP convention (Foot Lovers and Podiatrists) will be held in … Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. [not]

Squeezed on:

By

red_blood_cells.jpg It’s Valentine’s Day, and your girlfriend wants to tie you up. What the hell, you figure, and you agree. If your girlfriend is Tiffany Sutton, you have just made a huge mistake, as Robert McDaniel learned – the hard, bloody way. No worries for her, though, because she had him sign a release beforehand! Brilliant! It probably didn’t help that they had both smoked meth and consumed a 6-pack of beer, and 1/2 a bottle of whiskey.

Back to the blood. After tying him up, she cut his leg, and [ouch!] stabbed him in the back, neck, abdomen and … through his arm! Then, as reported in The Arizona Republic, she drank some of his blood. When McDaniel escaped, Sutton chased him with a pickax. Then he passed out.

What happened to McDaniel and Sutton? He was okay. She got busted. And what did she have to say to the court? “I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody.” Really? Was that the pickax of love you were carrying?

Squeezed on:

By

tickle.jpg This Thomas Blacine is one weird dude. (Though that is apparently urine in the photo below, it’s not Mr. Blacine.) He has been breaking into women’s homes, naked, and tickling them while they sleep. And videotaping them while they sleep. And peeing in at least one woman’s milk container!

Now he obviosly likes the way Linda Combs looks while she’s sleeping – because he’s hit her house twice! “I felt something on my leg and thought it was my cat and I look up and it was this naked guy, and he ran again,” said Ms. Combs. Surely she must be able to describe him?

“Well, not really. I would recognize him more if there was a shot of his skinny, white butt. The second time he was naked as could be.”

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

<img alt="dentist_patient_nightmare.jpg" src="/files/2013/09/dentist_patient_nightmare-thumb.jpg" width="280" height="376" align = "left" style="margin-right: 7px;" So you’re in a car crash, and you go to see your dentist. It must be bad because, in one day, the dentist performs SEVEN root canals! Now see if you can guess how many should have been done. NONE!

Oh, and not only were the SEVEN root canals unnecessary, dentists who testified at Dr. Lawrence Ho’s hearing said they were done improperly, and required five additional procedures to repair the damage. And, after the 7-bagger, Ho continued to treat the man, Wayne Chalazan, for four more months, doing additional work, none of which relieved the pain! Did I mention that Ho also pulled 2 teeth without sufficient evidence that it was necessary? What about the dental panel’s finding that Ho overcharged for this butchery? And that he misdiagnosed Mr. Chalazan, and didn’t keep proper records of the tests, treatments or anesthetic he gave him? And that, since this took place in 1999, Mr. Chalazan has continuous pain, and can only eat soft foods?

All this, and the guy gets … a 2-month suspension (plus $102,000 in legal costs and other fees) from The College of Dental Surgeons of Saskatchewan! Absurd. They should have sentenced him to SEVEN root canals, and 2 pulled teeth (plus 4 months of pain and unnecessary treatment). Hopefully Dr. Ho will feel some pain in his wallet. Mr. Chalazan has filed a civil suit seeking at least $100,000.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

ecstasy.jpg
Not that a lot of smart people ingest a pill of unknown origin from a drug dealer but… Emma Louise Fischer and Tara Jay Loane, both age 21, definitely put some distance between themselves and the rest of the ecstacy pack.

It all started when the police busted a drug dealer, and started checking the numbers on his cell phone. They put names to the numbers, and then addresses with the names. Our young ladies happened to be on the dealer’s phone. When the police went to their house, they found another cell phone. On that phone was a video of 2 girls who filmed themselves … snorting ecstacy! Brilliant! Not surprisingly, they pleaded guilty.

Squeezed on:

By

shithead.jpg I could not make this shit up! [Sorry.] A priest in Morganfield, Kentucky is suing Shithead’s owner and the city for allowing the dog to be buried near a veteran’s memorial. It’s not the name that upsets Father Gerald Baker: “What are we saluting? A flagpole with a monument to the dog? It’s offensive. Any Christian, any American should understand why this is offensive.”

Shithead’s owner, Judy Hagan, (an American, and maybe a Christian too!) feels otherwise: “What right does he have to come to this town and put somebody else down for something they have done that he knows nothing about. It’s not a disgrace. I didn’t do it for a disgrace. If that’s the way people wanna take it, then that’s their problem.”

Said Father Baker: “This woman in her arrogance and her ignorance, demanding she has the right do this? Well we’ll just see.” Yes, we will. You’d think this just happened, right? Nope. Shithead was laid to rest, with the city’s permission, in 1999.