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In the past three years, trains on which Lee Shuang-chuan and his wife Chen Shi Shen-hong rode derailed three times! After the most recent derailment, on March 17, 2006, authorities thought the death of Lee’s wife was a tragic accident. They had been traveling on a train bound for Vietnam to visit Chen’s relatives. Suddenly, the train violently derailed, and Lee became a widower soon after the crash.

It wasn’t long, though before authorities began to uncover the following bizarre series of circumstances surrounding Chen’s death:

The 2 prior derailments!

Lee was a railway worker, and had worked as a railway inspector 2 years ago.

An autopsy of Chen’s body revealed the presence of Eutimine (a strong sedative mainly administered to patients with mental illnesses) and traces of a poisonous substance that was either rat poison or snake venom.

Lee had lost more than NT $33 million (roughly US $1,030,000) in the stock market between 2001 and 2004 (a tidy sum for a railway worker, no?)

Several days before the derailment, Lee took out a NT $20 million (US $625,000) insurance policy on his wife covering “accidental death.”

Lee’s previous wife died under “mysterious circumstances” four years ago. And what did Lee claim was the cause of his previous wife’s death? A snake bite. Do you think he collected on her insurance policy? He did.

Oh, and witnesses saw Lee giving Chen injections after dragging her to a bathroom near the scene of the derailment!

So What Happened to Lee?

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15-year-old Eric Crespo was charged with attempted murder and illegal possession of a gun. On the night of his arrest, he was interrogated by Detective Perino for over an hour. In court, though, Perino didn’t remember it quite that way. As reported in The Village Voice:

Under cross-examination by Crespo’s attorney, Mark DeMarco, Perino denied 11 more times that he had any conversations with Crespo after he was in custody.

“I never interrogated your client, sir,” Perino told DeMarco.

Turns out that was 12 outright lies!

After questioning Perino, DeMarco turned over the MP3 recording to the prosecutor prompting the district attorney’s office to drop the most serious charge of attempted murder. Crespo eventually pleaded guilty to illegal possession of a gun.

Doh! And it was quite an interrogation, too. Check out this morsel from Detective Perino:

DET PERINO: NOW EVEN IF I WENT TO A COURT OF LAW…THEY’RE
GONNA FUCKING ACCUSE ME OF TRICKING YOU, THEY’RE GONNA ACCUSE ME OF FUCKING PUTTING WORDS IN YOUR MOUTH. THEY ALWAYS DO THAT TO THE DETECTIVES. I’M THE BIGGEST FUCKING LIAR IN THE WORLD WHEN THEY BRING ME INTO THE COURT.

At least he was telling the truth then. You can read a huge chunk of the recorded interrogation in The Village Voice piece.

Mr. Sandy Wong, of Edmonton – he really loves his car. As reported in the Edmonton Sun, here are a few details of his relationship with a BMW:

Wong was busted for masturbating while sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan on display at the Home and Garden Show at the Northlands AgriCom.

According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he is “sexually attracted” to the BMW’s rooftop because “it’s curved like a woman’s body, the sex appeal, it felt good.” Court heard Wong also gets aroused by certain classic cars, motorcycles and women with big feet.

Shazam! The time? After pleading guilty to indecent exposure and mischief, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 2 years probation.

I lack the imagination to make these stories up. Seems that young Ms. Marin (age 18) was picked up for trying to pinch a pair of shoes at a London store called Lizard. While the police were detaining her, she managed to secure her weapon – her right breast – and let loose with a stream of milk at the officer. For this, she was charged with assault!

Judges have to put up with a lot of crap, day in and day out, and deal with it, on the record. I’m not sure how long I would last. Judge Mark Chow of King County, Washington made it from 1991 until just recently. As reported in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

Chow was presiding in a King County Jail courtroom Jan. 23, when a male defendant snapped at him with a vulgar sexual demand. Chow replied, “I would if you pulled it out, but you can’t find it.”

Snap? That’s all you got? I’d be embarrassed to go before the Commission on Judicial Conduct because the retort was so lame. Here’s incident number two:

While presiding in Mental Health Court that same day, Chow also asked a female defendant, “What flavor are you?” — a question about her ethnic background. He told another, “I think I know what flavor you are, so I’m not even going to ask.”

So what punishment did the Commission on Judicial Conduct deem appropriate? The weakest possible one available – an admonishment. Click here for the source of this tale of judicial woe.

While Mr. Swinyer was in jail, [former] correctional officer Cole admitted that he assaulted Mr. Swinyer by grabbing him around the throat and shoving him against the wall in response to – what else – a “donut” comment (really). Mr. Swinyer filed suit and litigated the case himself. The docket contains over 100 entries. In the end, more than 2 years after the case began, Judge Leighton held that the injury was de minimus and dismissed the case. (Here’s the Court’s decision.)

Understandably, Mr. Swinyer did not take the news well. Here is the Notice of Appeal he filed:

I hereby am informing you that I am appealing the asshole Ronald B. Leighton’s decision in this matter.

You have been hereby served Notice. You’re not getting away with this shit that easy.

Signed this 10th day of July 2006. George C. Swinyer, Jr. Click here to view Mr. Swinyer’s Notice of Appeal.

This was not well-received. The Court rejected the Notice of Appeal, stating that it was “not taken in good faith.” (Read it here.) Soon thereafter, the case was closed.

So the Largo, Florida police respond to a call about a problem at a bar, and they find Dana Shelton. But there’s no problem, and they tell Shelton to move along. Unless you are completely plastered, you realize this is a good thing. Not Shelton. He called 911 – the Largo police – to report that he was “surrounded by Largo police.” A definite head-scratcher. Said Largo Sgt. Melanie Holley:

Our officers were standing there scratching their heads. He called, standing there in their presence. It’s one of our ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ cases.

Just like I said, an official “head-scratcher.” Shelton got hit with misuse of 911, a misdemeanor. Thanks to Mr. Shelton for providing today’s Juice!

The Juice thanks Cindy Hill for submitting this story.

This is not your garden variety “babe-calling” case. Ms. Aude sued Mr. Mullaney for negligently giving her herpes. (The jury found that he did, but that she was “contributorily negligent.”) Mr. Mullaney was represented by Allen Harris (and Benjamin Lipsitz). Ms. Aude was represented by Susan Green and Gary Bernstein.

At Ms. Aude’s deposition, “as [she] was leaving the room to retrieve [a] document, Mr. Harris remarked that she was going to meet ‘[a]nother boyfriend’ at the car. Ms. Green and Mr. Bernstein quickly told Mr. Harris that his comment was in poor taste and asked him to refrain from making further derogatory comments. The following ensued:”

MR. MULLANEY: It’s going to be a fun trial. [Oh, and he’s a lawyer, too. Very professional, no?]
MR. HARRIS: It must have been in poor taste if Miss Green says it was in poor tasted. It must have really been in poor taste.
MS. GREEN: You got a problem with me?
MR. HARRIS: No, I don’t have a problem with you, babe. [uh oh]
MS. GREEN: Babe? You called me babe? What generation are you from?
MR. HARRIS: At least I didn’t call you a bimbo. [have shovel, will dig]
MR.LIPSITZ: Cut it out.
MS. GREEN: The committee will enjoy hearing about that.
MR. BERNSTEIN: Alan, you ought to stay out of the gutter.

“According to Ms. Green’s legal assistant, Harris’s reference to Ms. Green as ‘babe’ continued throughout the litigation. In an affidavit … she stated that ‘in the course of her employment, [Mr. Harris] did telephone Ms. Green’s office and ask, ‘Is the babe in?’ He also referred to [the legal assistant] as ‘babe.”

Ms. Green then filed a motion asking the Court to put an end to this conduct (and some other defense conduct), and requested attorneys’ fees. So what do you think happened?

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