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The Juice is confident you will agree that Canton, Ohio needs to loosen the reins a little bit. Check out this law, that is actually on the books:

539.07  PLAYING OF GAMES.

(a)  No person shall play any game in any park of the City except such as the Superintendent of Parks designates and upon such portion of the park as the Superintendent designates. (1964 Code §511.08)

(b) Whoever violates this section is guilty of a minor misdemeanor.

Think it’s enforced often? Here’s the source.

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…The Juice would put “in front of the police station” near the bottom of the list. Of course, the calculus changes, when, like a 40-year-old Appleton, Wisconsin man, you have consumed so much booze that your blood-alcohol level is 4 times the legal limit. He was busted for … public urination and jailed on a probation violation!

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It’s party time, and you have no booze. Now maybe it was a one-man party, or maybe a bit larger. Regardless, the gent had to get some booze. Apparently not the violent type, he got a little creative, per The Brooklyn Paper.

Someone cut a hole in the ceiling of the a Moore Street liquor store and ran off with several bottles of scotch and a wad of cash on March 25.

The owner of the spirits shop between Graham Avenue and Humboldt Street told police that he when he opened the store at 10 am, he found a giant hole cut into his ceiling and about $500 worth of cash gone, as well as 12 bottles of Johnny Walker Black.

Not cool, but it sure beats a stick-up. And Black ain’t Blue, but at $30+ a bottle, it ain’t cheap either.

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If you’re going to commit fraud, at least be creative or clever. You know, something that would make a good movie. But nooooooo, you had to go and commit this super-simple, guaranteed-to- be-caught fraud. As seen in The New Hampshire Union Leader:

State Police were called to a single-car collision at 10 p.m. Aug. 15, 2011, at which St. Laurent had collided with a jersey barrier near Exit 3 on Daniel Webster Highway in Nashua.

At 11:24 p.m. that night, Progressive Northern Insurance Co. initiated a policy for St. Laurent by telephone, authorities said. The next day, St. Laurent told Progressive he had been in a car accident at 1 a.m. on Aug. 16, 2011, and filed a claim in excess of $1,000 in damages.

After an investigation, St. Laurent withdrew the claim.

That must have been one tough investigation. The dude filed a claim less than two hours after he got the policy! Then what?

The case was investigated by the state Attorney General’s Office and state Insurance Department’s Fraud Unit.

Again, another very short investigation. Not surprisingly, charges followed.

Peter St. Laurent pleaded guilty in Hillsborough County Superior Court in Nashua to one count of Class B felony insurance fraud, state officials announced in a press statement …

The time?

St. Laurent was sentenced in court to 12 months in the House of Correction and a $1,000 fine, both of which were suspended on good behavior and successful completion of one year of probation, authorities said.

Dude caught a break. Here’s the source.

Speaking of auto insurance, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer practicing in Maryland, Washington, DC and Virginia.

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Well sir, this young man went on one hell of a tear. As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

The incident began at 3:47 a.m. March 19 when police were summoned to a father and son dispute at 422 Moore Ave., [Brian Victor] Roppa’s residence. Roppa’s father, unidentified in the report, told police that Brian Roppa was intoxicated and driving.

Officer Derek Shipley of Baden stopped Roppa at the intersection of Moore and Berry Street. Shipley asked Roppa to turn off the engine and step from the car, according to the report. Roppa, citing God, refused.

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taunting%20taunt%20tease%20funny%20mean.jpg Let’s say you rob somebody, and then you’re foolish enough to call him the following day to taunt him. Would you do it from a phone that could be traced to you? A young man in New York did. And it led to his arrest, along with his 4 alleged accomplices. As reported in New York’s “The Journal News” …

[Lt.] Clark said the incident occurred Tuesday, when the victim, who works at the Scarsdale Public Library, left work about 9 p.m. to catch a bus home. About 20 minutes later, as he waited at the Post and Olmsted roads bus stop, he was attacked by a group of young men who police said beat him until he momentarily blacked out. They fled in a car after taking the man’s briefcase.

Knocking the dude out? That’s cold. Why’d they do it?

“The investigation revealed that this was a completely random attack, and that these young men set out to beat somebody up,” Clark said. “Taking the briefcase was almost incidental. One of the men said that his mother had died recently, and that he was angry and just wanted to beat someone up.”

Really? The Juice didn’t know random asskicking was one of the 5 stages of grief. Just how did the bust go down?

The next day, [the victim] received the taunting phone call, which he immediately reported to police. Within hours, Scarsdale Detectives Russ Morvant and Servando Rodriguez were able to trace the call to a house on North Kensico Avenue in White Plains. They found Marzano, of 100 N. Kensico Ave., there, along with Pacicca, of 1649 Hall Ave., and Brown.

Find anything else?

The detectives also found the stolen briefcase and other items belonging to the victim …

Doh!

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Some might say this story is dripping with irony. The Juice respectfully disagrees, believing instead that it is dripping with poetic justice. As reported by The Santa Cruz Sentinel:

A thief stole the bike of a teenage boy as the teen and a friend were being arrested for allegedly trying to pawn a stolen violin Friday morning, Santa Cruz police reported.

Boom! You would think that this kid, especially this kid, would know that, hey, people will steal things, especially unlocked things.

The boys, both 17-year-old Santa Cruz residents, went to a Mission Street music store and tried to sell the violin, which had been reported stolen during a car burglary on the Westside the night before, police said.

A store employee alerted police and an officer came to arrest the teens on suspicion of possessing stolen property. While that was going on, someone stole one of the boys’ bikes, which was outside the music shop, police said.

The boys were booked into Juvenile Hall. Their names were not released because they are minors. The stolen bike wasn’t found, but the violin was returned to its owner.

Here’s the source.

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Yes, of course you should call the police if you need to. But before doing so, you might want to walk through your house to make sure everything is in order. As reported by, Ocala.com, this Florida man neglected to give his house the once over, and is paying the price.

Raymond Wemple called the Marion County Sheriff’s Office to his home at 10441 SE 130th Place in reference to another incident. When officers were talking with Wemple, they saw the dozen plants. Wemple reportedly said, “Oh crap, I forgot about those,” according to reports.

Doh!

As a deputy was driving Wemple to the Marion County Jail, he reportedly said he only had himself to blame for calling officer to his home, reports state.

Does the man get any credit for immediately taking personal responsibility? Unlikely.

Wemple was booked into the jail on one count of producing marijuana and was released just before midnight on Friday after posting a $5,000 bond.

Here’s the source.

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When you get some bad news, how do you react? Probably not like this young man in Fresno did. As reported by The Fresno Bee:

A Fresno Pacific University basketball player went on a naked rampage Monday night near campus after being told that he had been kicked off the team, Fresno police said Tuesday.

Leonard Tyrell Young, 21, ran naked through a convenience store parking lot, tried to steal a police car, beat a police officer and police dog and withstood three Taser strikes before finally being subdued, police said.

He was booked Tuesday into Fresno County Jail on suspicion of carjacking, resisting arrest, vandalism, harming a police dog and being under the influence of a controlled substance, according to jail records.

Yikes.

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If you guessed that this bakery burglar was caught because he left a trail of crumbs, you’d be … wrong! Per the The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

After breaking into a bakery in the area of Barton Street East and Sherman Avenue North Sunday night, a bumbling burglar left a trail of coins which allowed police to follow him to a nearby address and made a quick arrest.

Seriously? A trail of money? Brilliant!

Police say the man was caught red-handed and in possession of property from the bakery including an undisclosed amount of cash and unique coins, also stolen from the business.

Jason Healey, 38, of Hamilton has been charged with break and enter and possession of stolen property valued under $5,000.

You’ll find the source here.