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Certainly all relationships have their ups and downs, but this is ridiculous. Chalie Simon, a 19-year-old sophomore at the University of Colorado, and her ex-boyfriend had, according to him, broken up about 20 times over the course of a year!

I’m guessing that he broke up the 20th time, and here’s why, as reported by The Boulder Daily Camera:

Cmdr. Tim McGraw said Simon … went to her former love interest’s apartment in the early morning hours and began throwing rocks at his window.

When the man opened the door for her and offered to let her come in from the cold, she allegedly became irate and tried to make her way into the man’s bedroom [where there was another woman], McGraw said.

After several attempts to remove her from the apartment, the woman allegedly grabbed the man’s genitals and “squeezed hard,” McGraw said.

Ouch!!!!!! thought the males reading this. BFD, thought the females. The police?

[Ms. Simon] was arrested and booked into the Boulder County Jail on suspicion of third-degree assault, domestic violence and first-degree criminal trespass.

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Perhaps there is one such family. It involves something that has probably never happened before, nor is it likely to ever happen again. On the same day, the New York Commission on Judicial Conduct found that two brothers should be removed from the bench. The North Country Gazette identified the brothers as follows:

Joseph S. Alessandro, a Justice of the Supreme Court, Westchester County, sits in Goshen and Francis M. Alessandro, a Judge of the New York City Civil Court,sits in Bronx County.

Both matters involve dishonesty. You can read the decision on Joseph Alessandro here, and Francis Alessandro here. Each man has 30 days to appeal.

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I think it’s safe to say that virtually everyone has heard the expression “doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.” With that in mind, here’s an excerpt below from a Florida disciplinary case against Dr. G.K. Dwarka Nath:

37. The pathology report for the “colonoscopy” biopsy found benign squamous mucosa … The finding was inconsistent with tissue from the rectum or colon, but consistent with tissue from the vagina. It became clear that Respondent had scoped the vagina and not the rectum.

Incredibly, he didn’t even know that the scope was inserted in the wrong place! Sadly, the disciplinary complaint also describes the case of another patient who did not receive the appropriate care, and died. And what of Dr. Nath? He was fined $10,000 and put on supervised probation! Here’s a link to the Final Order with the above language. There’s another action on the disciplinary board’s website indicating that he was put on probation on 2/23/09, but that Order has not been posted.

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english%20Judge.jpg Let’s say you are Sheikh Khalid Ben Abdfullah Rashid Alfawaz, you’re rich, and you’re getting a divorce in an English court. During a Hearing, here are some of the judge’s comments:

That the sheikh could choose “to depart on his flying carpet” to escape paying costs.

That the sheikh should be available to attend hearings “at this relatively fast-free time of the year.”

That he should be in court so that “every grain of sand is sifted.”

And the sheikh’s evidence was “a bit gelatinous . . . like Turkish Delight.”

What a card! The Sheikh was not amused. He asked the judge to recuse himself due to bias. When the judge refused, the Sheikh appealed and … won. He was booted from the case, and had to apologize. Not to worry, though. Lord Justice Ward threw him a bone.

No little part of my embarrassment comes from my belief that the injection of a little humour lightens the load of high emotion that so often attends litigation and I am the very last judge to criticise laughter in court. For my part I am totally convinced that [the judge’s] jokes were not meant to be racist and I unreservedly acquit the judge of any suggestion they were so intended.

Shazam! Next time I do something stupid, I want Lord Ward speaking on my behalf!

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What do you do to a guy who feels bad for a trapped animal frying in the sun (with no food or water) so he moves the cage? You arrest him, of course. No worries, though. Read on (from UPI):

Charges were dropped Thursday against a Utah man who moved a city-owned skunk trap into the shade because he felt sorry for the animal inside.

Paul Roberts, a lawyer for South Salt Lake City, said after 90 minutes of testimony that the case should be dismissed, The Salt Lake Tribune reported. Ryan Turner told the court he moved the trap because the skunk had been caught in it for two days, with no food or water and the sun blazing down during the day.

“I don’t see any crime in helping an animal,” Roberts said.

Turner had asked for a trap around his property because of a skunk problem. A city employee said Turner complained the skunk had invaded the house at least twice by a cat door.

The case attracted a lot of attention with Gene Baierschmidt of the Utah Humane Society calling Turner a “hero” who “made the morally right choice.” Turner said he found it “baffling” that it proceeded as far as it did.

I see your “baffling” and raise you an “idiotic” and a “WTF.”

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Since the Juice is against school dress codes, how do you think he feels about “hair” codes? Check this out, from The Hindu (the “Online edition of India’s National Newspaper”):

In a bizarre incident, a teacher snipped off the hair of five students in a school in Burdwan district of West Bengal for allegedly not adhering to the institute’s code of conduct related to hairdo.

The teacher, Manisha Ray, cut short the hair of the students for violating the rule of tying two plaits and coming with with a single plait during the morning prayers. As news of the incident spread, irate guardians entered the school premises in protest. They locked the teachers in a room and demanded Ms. Ray’s suspension. The police arrested Ms. Ray following complaints by the guardians of the students whose hair was cut off.

“We have arrested the teacher, based on a complaint. Charges against her will be framed under relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code,” Burdwan’s Additional Superintendent of Police Utpal Naskar said.

Members of the school’s managing committee later suspended Ms. Ray indefinitely from service.

Paws (and scissors) off the hair.

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doll.jpg As reported by the Associated Press:

A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down.

Seems he’s got a thing for mannequins, too.

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Like many shoppers before him, Mr. Walter Tessier walked into a grocery store (in Amsterdam, New York) and bought a lobster. He later returned to the store claiming that the lobster was bad, and exchanged it for a bag of king crab legs. So whatsamatta? Just this: the lobster shell was empty! As reported by The Times Union:

When confronted, the man with a passion for seafood ran from the store with the bag of crab legs in hand, they said.

Deputies said they caught up with him at his home only to discover that he had already eaten the crab legs.

Walter Tessier, giving new meaning to the phrase “eat and run” … (We actually had a case involving a woman who admitted to eating a crab she had just purchased – while she was driving! Not surprisingly, she rear-ended our client.)

Tessier was charged with petit larceny and given an appearance ticket to return to court at a later date.

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The headline from the story by WXYZ in Detroit sums it up nicely: “Teacher By Day, Inmate By Night.” For 30 days anyway, when Mr. Donald Colpaert is not teaching social studies to middle schoolers in Macomb County, he’s in jail. Here’s an exchange between WXYZ reporter Heather Catallo and Mr. Colpaert:

“I’m wondering why you’re still teaching if you’re in jail? I’m not in jail. I’m bringing lunch for my friends. No, you’re going back to your work release position. How can you be a role model for your students? Are you familiar with what’s going on at all with the case? Why don’t you tell us? I don’t really feel like explaining it. The court’s done a pretty good job of that.”

Alrighty then.

According to court records, the secretary says Colpaert started harassing her husband with phone calls and text messages after she decided to patch up her marriage.

During a hearing to obtain personal protection orders against Colpaert – the secretary and her husband submitted several of Colpaert’s email messages to Macomb County Judge Ed Servitto.

In one from October – Colpaert writes to another school co-worker about what he was allegedly planning to do at a party that the secretary was going to attend with her husband. One message states: “me and some of my friends will be waiting outside.” and “the s**t is definitely gonna hit the fan.” In another message Colpaert allegedly told the party hostess “I cant [sic] and WILL NOT promise that nothing will go down at your house.”

As for the text messages that Colpaert allegedly sent to the secretary’s husband – they’re so obscene we can not describe them on television.

Damn it! The Juice is not fond of censorship. Anyway, here’s how Mr. Colpaert ended up in jail:

When the judge granted the PPOs for the school secretary and her husband, according to the hearing transcript, he had some strong words for the teacher. Judge Servitto said “I can’t believe you’re an educator.” He also told Colpaert: “I don’t know that you should be a teacher. I don’t know. It just amazes me”

What’s truly amazing is that Donald Colpaert violated the PPO within minutes of leaving Servitto’s courtroom.

According to police reports, in the court hallway– Colpaert told the secretary’s husband, “we could have settled this man to man, it’s on now, it’s on.”

After those comments – a judge sent Colpaert to jail for 30 days for violating the PPO.

So it’s definitely “on,” with the “it” being the pokey, not an asskicking. How does tenure fit into the equation?

The Van Dyke Public School District did suspend Donald Colpaert for 3 days without pay for violating a directive they had given him to stop contacting the secretary. An attorney for the district tells Action News at this point, that’s the highest level of punishment that can be leveled against a tenured teacher.

Time to take a long, hard look at those tenure provisions …

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