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So you get popped in the face. Why wouldn’t you call the cops? Well, it depends on who’s doing the popping, and who gets popped. Per the San Diego Union Tribune:

A man who was busy robbing his elderly victim Saturday became so upset when a bystander tried to break up the crime by punching him in the face that he called police to report an assault.

Brilliant!

Once [the police] put two and two together, police officers located the 83-year-old victim, who confirmed the crime, and arrested the 43-year-old man for suspected elder abuse and robbery, said San Diego police Officer David Stafford.

Police were called at 4 p.m. to Akins Avenue at 62nd Street near a trolley station, where the robber had the elderly man pinned against a wall and was rifling through his pockets when the bystander interrupted the crime, Stafford said.

Here’s to the unnamed “bystander” who didn’t just “stand by.”

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That “Ellen” thing. That is essentially why Heartland Inns of America fired Brenna Lewis, according to Ms. Lewis. But, as reported by Courthouse News Service, Ms. Lewis may have the last word.

An Iowa hotel clerk who describes herself as “slightly more masculine” can sue her former employer for allegedly firing her because she wasn’t pretty enough and she lacked “the Midwestern girl look,” the 8th Circuit ruled.

Here’s the background:

Lewis said she was fired in 2007 for not conforming to sex stereotypes and for questioning recent policy changes.

Lewis has “an Ellen DeGeneres kind of look,” according to her former manager, Lori Stifel. “Lewis prefers to wear loose fitting clothing, including men’s button-down shirts and slacks,” the ruling states. “She avoids makeup and wore her hair short at the time. Lewis has been mistaken for a male and referred to as ‘tomboyish.'”

BFD. Apparently it was, to Ms. Barbara Cullinan, director of operations…

Cullinan allegedly said Lewis lacked “the Midwestern girl look,” and stressed the importance of having a “pretty” desk staff.

When Cullinan told Stifel to move Lewis to the night shift, Stifel allegedly stuck up for Lewis, saying she had been doing a “phenomenal job at the front desk.”

Well done, madam.

The next week, Cullinan asked Stifel to resign and implemented stricter hiring rules, explaining that “hotels have to have a certain personification and appearance,” Lewis claimed.

No good deed goes unpunished. But Judge Diana Murphy had the last word, at least for now.

“Cullinan’s criticism of Lewis for lack of ‘prettiness’ and the ‘Midwestern girl look’ before terminating her may … be found by a reasonable factfinder to be evidence of wrongful sex stereotyping,” she wrote.

Here’s the source.

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No doubt Dr. Nilon Tallant was incredibly thrilled to be honored as the Texas “Doctor of the Day” on January 12, 2007. He correctly assumed that the Texas House of Representatives did not know that he is a CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER who had his license revoked (by the Texas Medical Board!) for 4 years. Said Lt. Gutierrez, who investigated Dr. Tallant’s crime, and described him as extremely exploitative and abusive:

I can’t believe that the Medical Board let him practice again. Why didn’t they talk to us before making that decision?

And what was his crime? Dr. Tallant, then 64, was charged with 19 counts of sexual performance with a child, a 17-year-old PATIENT. He pleaded guilty to a felony and got probation. PROBATION!

Representative Leo Berman, who introduced Dr. Tallant, was not pleased.

I don’t like the idea that I introduced a sex offender. He should have told whoever selected him to be the Doctor of the Day that he is a registered sex offender and not try to appear before the Texas House of Representatives and make himself look legitimate before the entire state.

Are you shitting me? You expect a doctor who sexually molested a minor patient to just out himself?

And guess what the TV station investigating the matter discovered: The Texas Legislature also honored Dr. Tallant on April 21, 2006!

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Let’s just say that Canadian doctor Martin Gillen is in a class by himself – hopefully. As reported by the Ottawa Citizen:

[Gillen’s boss] said [he] was upfront with him about a 2001 incident in which he was caught masturbating as a drugged female patient lay on his examining table.

Egad. Maybe he was “upfront” about the incident BECAUSE IT’S ON FILM! As a result of the incident, Dr. Gillen lost his license and …

The former pain specialist was convicted of sexual assault and spent six months in jail for that crime. He will remain on the provincial sex offender registry until 2017.

Now he’s trying to get his license back, but …

Upon questioning, however, [Gillen’s boss] learned Wednesday Gillen neglected to tell him the full extent of similar allegations that resulted in a nine-month suspension in 1989.

Doh! Regarding the 1989 incident…

Although he was found not guilty of criminal charges, a judge ruled “there was ample evidence to justify the finding of guilt by the (College’s) Discipline Committee.”

The hearing is continuing.

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Crime must be down in Strathclyde (Scotland). Why? Because police there apparently have nothing better to do than to give a man a ticket for blowing his nose! And his car was stopped! As reported by Sky News:

Michael Mancini had stopped his van in traffic and wiped his nose with a handkerchief.

When he moved off, he was pulled over by police who told him he had not been in control of his vehicle.

Mr Mancini, from Ayrshire, was handed a £60 fixed penalty and given three points on his driving licence.

He told Sky News: “I thought they were joking and that it was a wind-up.”

If it is a joke, kudos to the police for letting it play out for so long …

“I was stopped in traffic and had the handbrake on and thought to myself, ‘Ive just got time to blow my nose.’

“Then police pulled me over and I was booked. I genuinely thought they were joking, that it was a wind-up.”

The incident occurred in October, but Mr Mancini has refused to pay the penalty.

Well done, sir!

His solicitor wrote to prosecutors earlier this month explaining the offence could not have occurred because Mr Mancini’s handbrake was on.

But prosecutors replied the next day warning that if the fine wasn’t paid, the case would be taken to court.

Mr Mancini added: “I intend taking this all the way to court. I still don’t believe it actually happened.”

A Strathclyde Police spokesman said: “A 39-year-old man is the subject of a report to the procurator fiscal in connection with an alleged traffic offence on October 26.”

Now that would be a fun trial to watch! Here’s the source.

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Of all the reasons to fire somebody, this has got to be among the most idiotic. As reported by China Daily:

Two women have been fired from their jobs for refusing to drink at a company party.

No doubt they would have been fired had they gotten shitfaced. Maybe each employee should get a breathalyzer, along with guidelines for the acceptable BAC range…

He, an executive manager of an auto parts company in Hanyang, and her assistant refused to drink alcohol when their boss made a toast at their company’s New Year party.

They were fired the next day on grounds of incompetence.

“This is not fair at all,” He, who joined the company just a month back, fumed after receiving her termination letter.

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You can put your eyeballs back in their sockets. You read it right: 3 months in the slammer (and a fine of about $600!) for possessing 5 firecrackers. From the New Straits Times (Malaysia):

A jobless man was sentenced to three months’ jail and fined RM2,000 by the magistrate’s court yesterday for possessing five firecrackers.

Mohd Zafizie Mohd Zawawi, 29, pleaded guilty to committing the offence at Gate J of Sultan Mohamed IV Stadium at 9pm on Saturday.

Zafizie, from Kampung Belakang Masjid, who was unrepresented, told magistrate Nik Habri Muhamad neither he nor his parents could afford to pay a high fine.

“I have repented and I promise not to commit the offence again. This will be my first and last offence.”

Krykie! A first offender too.

[The magistrate] told Zafizie that he had committed a serious offence because the stadium was a place for recreation.

Oh, and if Mr. Zafizie’s family can’t pay the fine …

“If you fail to pay the fine, the jail sentence will be extended by another month.”

So it will probably be almost 1 month in jail per firecracker…

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Kauai has got to be one of the coolest places on earth (especially the north shore). It’s definitely the coolest place The Juice ever visited.

But even this totally chill tropical paradise has a few rules. For example, when you visit somebody in the hospital, you can’t bring the patient’s horse (in the elevator!) to cheer him up. Now it is Kauai, so the hospital does allow pets, like cats and dogs. And they are almost apologetic about this limitation.

“On Kauai, we have a very warm inviting atmosphere at Wilcox [Memorial Hospital],” [hospital spokeswoman] Yukimura said. “We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse.”

Yes ma’am, we understand. Oh – one more thing about the horse. After all the man went through to cheer up his ailing relative – he brought the wrong horse!

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The Juice definitely doesn’t – and not just because it would reduce the amount of material out there. Anyway, talk about a harmless prank. And a damn funny one too … Check this out, as reported by khou.com:

What happens when you drop the C and the L from class? You get in trouble, that’s what.

Three Cypress Ridge High School students were suspended and fined $135 each for allegedly pulling a prank in the senior class photo.

Seniors posed for the panoramic photos last month. First, there was a formal picture with students in the front row wearing t-shirts that spelled out “Class of 2010.”

So far, no problem. But then …

The second panoramic was an informal shot. The students were allowed to move around so they rearranged themselves, leaving only “ass” on the front row.

“I heard C and L ran off. That’s not ass’s fault. That’s C and L’s fault, said senior Austin Knight. “It was funny and they shouldn’t have been punished.”

Right on, sir! You have just been awarded “quote of the month” – “That’s not ass’s fault.”

But it was the three students wearing A, S and S that got in trouble. Along with the fine and suspension, they lost their positions as officers for various clubs.

“S” man George Bermudez, who was the senior class secretary, said it was an accident.

Cy-Fair ISD officials didn’t buy that story.

In a statement, the district said: “Three students were disciplined in accordance with the Student Code of Conduct. ”

Uncool. Here’s the source, including video.

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judge%20mad%20angry%20upset%20pissed%20irate%20.gif She did. She called the Judge an asshole! (Or, as reported at Ocala.com, “a two-syllable curse word—a crude term referring to the anus.” Must be a “family” newspaper. Please.) Anyway, Ms. Sarah E. Muller was not pleased with Marion County [Florida] Judge R. James McCune Jr.’s denial of her request to be dismissed from jury duty. Twice. First, she cited her poor health, which the Judge rejected. Then, she said she was a racist, which the Judge also rejected. That’s when she called the Judge an asshole, only he didn’t quite hear it. So…

When the judge asked Muller to clarify her remark, [she] repeated it. He charged her on the spot with direct criminal contempt of the court — a second-degree misdemeanor— and Muller was promptly handcuffed by a court bailiff and taken into custody.

Now Judge McCune was pissed.

“How in the world did you think that running your mouth in such a foul, profane way would be appropriate in court, of all places?” McCune asked Muller. “Did it even dawn on you that you were already here and you might as well make the most of it?”

Ms. Muller’s reaction? Not a “crude term referring to the anus.”

Muller apologized to the judge as tears streamed down her face. “I’m very sorry for calling you that. I did not know it was illegal, and I did not mean to cause disrespect,” she said.

Muller added that cursing was “a very bad habit” of hers and that she was feeling upset, sick, and very broke. “I’m very poor, and I barely have any money at all,” she protested. “I do not appear to be sick, but I am internally sick.”

Now you know the crime. The time? Three days in jail (plus $233.00 in court costs and fees). One final nugget from Ms. Muller:

“I didn’t know I would go to jail for freedom of speech.”

Zoinks! Here’s the source (including photos). And if you like “contempt” stories, click here.

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