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Before you jump all over 19-year-old Calvin Morett [not pictured above – that dude is a “model”], remember that you were once 19 too. It seems Mr. Morett was not content to throw his cap in the air. Instead, he came to graduation dressed as a 6-foot penis, and sprayed students and school administrators with silly string (per The Albany Times Union). It didn’t go over well. He was apprehended when he tripped on his, um, costume. He was charged with, and pleaded guilty to, disorderly conduct. The punishment for this “crime?” Three apologies (one of which will be published in the local paper), $95 in court costs, and 24 hours community service. What did Mr. Morett have to say for himself?

… he recently told a local television station that he thought the prank was worth whatever punishment he would face because he made people happy.

The Juice is most definitely a fan.

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The much maligned and often stepped over penny took another hit in Utah. As reported by The Deseret News (Salt Lake City):

On May 27, Jason West went to Basin Clinic prepared to dispute an outstanding bill, according to Assistant Vernal Police Chief Keith Campbell. West, 38, apparently did not believe he owed the clinic the $25 it said he did.

“After asking if they accepted cash, West dumped 2,500 pennies onto the counter and demanded that they count it,” Campbell said. “The pennies were strewn about the counter and the floor.”

The incident upset clinic staff, said Campbell, adding that West’s behavior served “no legitimate purpose.”

Clinic staff told West they were calling police and he left the office. Officers caught up with West later and issued him a citation for disorderly conduct, an infraction, which carries a potential fine of $140.

Seems like a huge waste of time to The Juice. Here’s the source, which has a link to an interview with Mr. West.

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There’s often an innocent explanation for even the weirdest behavior. Let’s just say you want to keep some pills warm. Where on your body would you put them to accomplish this? Now it’s not like your hiding them – just keeping them warm. Well sir, as reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News…

A man was arrested after deputies found 55 pills hidden under his groin.

How exactly do you find pills in someone’s groin? This gent made it easy.

Eric J. Roy, 20, was stopped on U.S. Highway 98 near Gulf Shore Drive after a deputy noticed one of the taillights on his vehicle wasn’t working, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

After speaking with Roy, the deputy asked to search the vehicle. Roy agreed to the request, but as he stood up, the deputy saw several small pills fall off him, the report said.


The deputy then searched Roy and found 55 oxycodone pills under Roy’s groin, the report stated.

Roy said the pills were his and that he had been addicted to them for two years.

He was arrested and charged with trafficking in oxycodone.


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Now remember, we’re talking about an iPad 2, not just an iPad … From a report in the Global Times …

A teenager in China sold one of his kidneys to buy an iPad 2 …

A kidney!!!!!

The 17-year-old boy, identified only by the surname Zheng, searched the internet and found a buyer who was willing to pay 22,000 yuan ($3400) for the organ.

Without telling his family of his plans [“Oh mom, dad – I’m going to sell my kidney for an iPad 2. Back in a bit.”], he travelled north from his home in the eastern Anhui province to a hospital in the city of Chenzhou in Hunan province, where he was operated on under the supervision of a kidney-selling agent.

Whew. At least it was supervised …

His mother’s suspicions were aroused when her son returned home with an iPad 2 and an iPhone, and Zheng, who was left with a deep red scar from the surgery, was forced to admit what he did.

Wo there. An iPhone too? That changes everything!

She took him back to Chenzhou to report the crime, but the contact numbers the kidney agents gave Zheng were not working. The hospital, which admitted contracting out its urology department to a businessman, denied any connection with the kidney-removal operation.

On to another town. Yikes.

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So 55-year-old Wyoming resident David Anthony Vaughn was enjoying “Iron Man” at the Eastridge Movies when the unthinkable occurred – the projector malfunctioned. Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! When Mr. Vaughan demanded a refund, he was offered a voucher to see another movie. Maybe a later showing of “Iron Man?” Anyway, as reported in the Casper Star-Tribune:

According to witnesses, Vaughn became agitated as theater employees tried to explain their policy to him, yelling at workers and telling other patrons they were being ripped off. One customer heard him say that he was going to get his money’s worth before he ripped a computer monitor from the ticket counter and threw it through the glass door. After breaking the glass, the monitor came to rest by a table in the mall food court.

Shazam! Makes you wonder what he would do when faced with a serious injustice (real or perceived). Surely when the police arrived, Mr. Vaughan realized that, perhaps, he had overreacted?

Vaughn told [Sgt.] Randel his actions were justified because the theater refused to refund a patron’s money.

He was busted and booked.

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Clearly The Juice is not a big Subway fan. And while it may be true that there are now more Subway “restaurants” than McDonalad’s “restaurants” worldwide, it’s also true that Subway has an incredibly low franchise fee.

Anyway, back to the Subway in question. It’s in Florida. And if you asked for “extra meat,” you really didn’t want extra meat… As reported by tcpalm.com:

Undercover investigators for the St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office said a sandwich artist [ha!] was doubling as a drug dealer at the fast-food restaurant in the 1900 block of U.S. 1, Fort Pierce. The investigators said Elizabeth Hunt, 47, would slip a bag of marijuana to customers who asked for extra meat with their subs. They said Hunt gave them two grams of marijuana on two occasions last month when they used the code. The investigators dropped $10 into the tip jar for each purchase, according to her affidavit.

Hunt, of the 600 block of Grand Club Place, Fort Pierce, was being held Thursday in lieu of $55,000 bail on two charges of sale and delivery of marijuana within 1,000 feet of a convenience store, possession of marijuana with intent to sell within 1,000 feet of a convenience store and possession of drug paraphernalia.

And once again, many people have found that there is no good reason to go to Subway … Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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Most people who owe money and don’t have it will just admit it, right? Not so with this Florida man. As reported by The St. Petersburg Times:

Michael Cherubino, 51, of 5464 Birchwood Road in Spring Hill had told deputies two men attacked him at his home, stabbed him in the stomach and stole about $4,000 before fleeing in a “beat up” white pickup.

Investigators say he later admitted to Hernando County sheriff’s deputies that he had lied and cut himself with a piece of glass so he would be hospitalized, miss his court date and have an excuse not to pay $4,000 he owed in child support.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

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What name could be so bad that a Chicago Alderman held up the sign permit for 2 1/2 years? “Felony Franks”. Yes, The Juice is scratching his head too. As reported by The Chicago Sun-Times:

After a 2½-year battle that culminated in a First Amendment lawsuit, the City Council’s Transportation Committee will meet on June 6 to issue the sign permit local Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) has been blocking on grounds that the name sends a “bad message” to area students.

Sorry Bob, but you’re the one sending the wrong message: censorship because YOU don’t like the message.

The agreement hammered out in federal court this week stipulates that Fioretti and three other aldermen named in the lawsuit will no longer “oppose, interfere or obstruct” the permit application process for Felony Franks, 229 S. Western.

What does the owner of Felony Franks think?

“We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of speech. If I cannot be allowed to call my business what I want, then we’re living in a dictatorship, not a democracy,” said owner Jim Andrews, who hires ex-offenders. “If you fight hard enough for what you believe in, the system works. The only thing wrong with the system is the consumer shouldn’t have to fight as hard as I had to fight for what’s right.”

And Bob, since when is helping to reintegrate ex-cons into society a bad thing? Oh, and about that lawsuit …

[It’s] still pending and Andrews is still demanding $293,000 in damages for business lost during the 2½-year sign battle.

Here’s hoping Mr. Andrews is victorious. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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You’re out drinking with a friend. Wisely, you travel by cab. Your friend is not feeling well. Of course, you are sympathetic, right? Um… Not so much. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio Police Blotter:

DISTURBANCE, HIDDEN MEADOWS: At 2:51 a.m. April 2, a cab driver told police that when he dropped off passengers, they began to argue and physically fight.

The driver stated that one of the passengers vomited in the vehicle, and that he was still owed $30.

Police determined that the fighting stemmed from one of the subjects using his phone to film his sick friend cleaning the vomit, which led to the argument. The driver was eventually paid, and left.

You know that clip is already posted on facebook. Nice “friend.”