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To those of you who have a problem with the phenomenon of bikini-clad baristas, this post almost certainly won’t do anything to change your opinion. But if you’re a fan, you can put this arrow in your quiver. Why? Because if this “Sweet Cheeks” barista hadn’t been so concerned about her appearance, her appearance would have been drastically altered. As reported in The Highline Times (Washington) Police Blotter:

One person was slightly injured when a minivan crashed into a bikini espresso stand near S. 262nd St. and Pacific Highway. Police at the scene say that the minivan went off the highway and crashed head-on into the drive-thru window at Sweet Cheeks Espresso. The driver was slightly hurt in the crash.

According to crews at the scene, the barista who would have been standing at the window was unhurt, as she was actually touching up her make-up in another room when the minivan hit.

Here’s the source.

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What’s better than a confession? Maybe a video of the crime? As reported by winknews.com:

A video posted online showcasing a man hitting another with a “baseball punch” lands a suspect behind bars.

In it you can see one man viciously hitting another across the face while those around, both teenagers and adults, laugh and cheer.

“It was a total setup for the man. They set him up they put him online and they knocked him out,” said Patrick Cuervo, a witness to the attack.

So maybe he was knocked out first, and then put online. Not that it matters to the victim, Mr. Goff:

Goff suffered a fractured skull, damage to his ear, and a busted lip as a result and remains in the hospital.

As for the puncher…

… Investigators say the video is what led to the arrest, although they are still searching for more suspects. Christopher Gills, 20, was arrested for battery [and is in jail on $100,000 bond].

Check out the woman at 1:07, who now appears prophetic.

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(Photo courtesy of Raul Lieberwirth)

Here’s a tale of smoker who really, really wanted a cigarette. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Blotter (April 8, 2011):

Officers were dispatched on a panicked call for help by a 24 year old resident of the Summer Grove Apartments, located near the intersection of N. Academy Boulevard and Austin Bluffs Parkway. The victim was an acquaintance of the 26 year old suspect. Santos Santier knocked on the door of our victim and requested a cigarette. Angered that he was awakened [at 1:00 a.m.] for such a trivial purpose, the resident closed the door without fulfilling his request, which now enraged Santier. Santier began kicking the entrance door, eventually gaining entry, then attacked the victim. Shortly after police arrival he was taken into custody. His actions resulted in an arrest for First Degree Burglary, a Felony. Only minor injuries were sustained by both parties.

Yikes.

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It’s strange enough that the dude stole a ferret (no offense to the ferret lovers out there), but even stranger how he got it out of the pet store. By putting it down his pants! Per The Florida Times-Union:

A Jacksonville Beach police arrest report said a 17-year-old saw a man take a ferret from the pet store, stuff it down the front of his pants and walk out of the store. The teen alerted store clerks to the theft, then followed the man to a nearby parking lot on First Avenue North.

Lifting a line from a Juice favorite, Zombieland(see below), it was time for the teen to “nut up or shut up.” And nut up he did.

The teen tried to retrieve the ferret from the shoplifter, but the man punched him and they both fell to the ground. As they tussled on the ground, the man shoved the ferret in the teen’s face and squeezed it.

The ferret, a small domesticated type of weasel, lunged at the teen and bit him, leaving two puncture holes in his ear, the arrest report says. The ferret was not injured.

Well done young man. And what happened to the thief?

… Rodney Bolton, was arrested … and charged with stealing the $129 ferret from the Pet Supermarket at 609 Beach Blvd. in Jacksonville Beach. He was also charged with battery with a “special weapon,” police said.

Too bad the “special weapon” didn’t deploy as it was being stolen from the store …

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Sure, things would go a lot more smoothly for you if you could just pepper spray people who don’t listen to you. But you can’t. Or, can you … Okay, you can, but it’ll cost you, as a Georgia teacher discovered. As reported by 11alive.com:

According to a Macon police news release, officers were called to the Elam Alexander [Academy] … last Friday.

The release says a school video captured [teacher Barbara] Neeley spraying the 14-year-old boy. Police say two boys were disrupting a classroom and Neeley told them to return to their seats.

She warned she would pepper spray them if they didn’t sit down. They didn’t, and police say Neeley sprayed them. One boy closed his eyes and was not affected; the other boy was treated by a nurse and his parents were called to school.

And what happened to Ms. Neeley?

Bibb schools spokesman Chris Floore said Barbara Neeley resigned from Elam Alexander Academy on Wednesday, after school officials completed their internal investigation of the pepper-spray incident. Neeley still faces a charge of cruelty to children, according to Macon police.

Here’s the source.

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Based on this gent’s reaction, it’s a good thing the police sent a robot into the house. As reported by wftv.com:

The Brevard County Sheriff’s Office said the robot was sent into the West Melbourne home last week because the homeowner had called his family and said he was going to take his own life and the life of anyone who tried to stop him.

Deputies decided that the safest way to enter was with a robot mounted with cameras. The $65,000 robot had four cameras that recorded the whole encounter. When the robot entered the house, the man came out, naked, and first tried to break the robot, then shot it at least four times with an AK-47, according to deputies.

Give that robot a raise …

Despite the man’s violent actions, no one was injured and the standoff ended peacefully. Deputies said the man walked out, fully clothed and with his hands up, ready to be taken into custody.

Here’s the source, including the newscast of the story with some video shot by the robot.

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There are many ways to steal. But have you ever heard of a thief whose tool of the trade is a vacuum? Well, you’re about to. As reported by The Lincoln Journal Star:

The vacuum remains at large, but Lincoln police ticketed a man who they believe used one to suck a bunch of quarters out of several apartment house laundry machines.

After surveillance photos from the March 4 laundry room theft were released Friday, police received three tips via Crimestoppers that identified the suspect as William Logan Jr., 40, 5709 Hartley St.

There is a mitigating factor.

He had a mountain bike in tow …

The Juice has a soft spot for cyclists … Here’s the source.

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