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How does one group of prisoners really get to another group of prisoners without ever speaking to them? Here’s how, and here’s what the prison did to address it, per the Edinburgh Evening News:

Prison chiefs at Saughton have reportedly been forced to erect a screen wall around the exercise yard, over concerns that new female inmates were flashing their breasts at male prisoners.

A 20ft security fence has been covered with tarpaulin this week after male inmates began hanging out of the windows of their cells to look at the female prisoners in the yard.

And the official explanation?

A spokesman for the Scottish Prison Service said: “The fence has been changed due to operational reasons.”

Why not just spit it? “Operational reasons.” Please. Here’s the source.

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Not many Orders merit a block quote on Legal Juice. This one, from the case of Kissel v. Schwartz … out of Kentucky, most definitely does. So, without further ado:

“And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would rather have jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELED.”

You like Kenton Circuit Judge Martin J. Sheehan, right? One more thing:

“4. The Clerk shall engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of this file to the Clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floors of said office.”

Nicely done sir! Here’s the Order

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Please keep in mind that this is the same town, Kure Beach, North Carolina, that outlawed thong bathing suits. Anyway, way back when (way pre-thong), someone must have been playing the piccolo really loud. Why would the Juice hazard this guess? This is from the Kure Beach nuisance laws:

Sec. 11-31. Certain noises prohibited.

(a) The creation and continuation of any loud, disturbing and unnecessary noises in the town is hereby prohibited…

(b) The following acts, among others, are declared to be loud, disturbing, annoying and unnecessary noises in violation of this section …

(2) Radios, phonographs, etc. The playing of any radio, phonograph, piccolo or any musical instrument in such manner or with such volume as to annoy or disturb any person, or disturb the quiet, comfort or repose of any person in any dwelling, hotel or other residence. (emphasis added)

Picking on the piccolo? Not cool. Here’s the source. (Click on Chapter 11, then Article III.)

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So maybe this tanning salon customer didn’t use those exact words, but just about. As reported by The Daily News (Washington State):

In a recently released report, police said Mary Marilyn Greene of Longview called Island Sun Tanning on July 8, asking if employees there had found “something bad.” Greene, who identified herself by name, had been a customer at the tanning salon earlier in the day, the report said.

Employees later found a bag containing a white, crystal-like substance on the floor of the salon’s lobby. At the request of police, an employee called Greene, who said she was on her way over to pick up the drugs.

Guess who was there to greet her?

An officer waited in a tanning booth until Green collected meth, according to the report. The officer took Greene into custody as she left the tanning salon.

Police said Greene provided a written confession admitting that the drugs were hers.

Click here for the source.

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If you didn’t get in any trouble as a kid, either you’re very clever, or your childhood was incomplete. But this kid? At only 12, he’s had enough trouble to last him for a long, long time. As reported by www.ksat.com:

In Santa Fe, New Mexico, a 12-year-old boy high on marijuana led police on a chase and eventually rolled his car — and it’s not his first run-in with the law.

He was wearing a monitoring bracelet! Ever heard of a 12-year-old wearing a monitoring bracelet? Here’s how they got the ride:

A representative with the Sheriff’s Office said the boys broke into a home and stole the car’s keys.

Incredibly, after rolling the car, neither the boy nor his 15-year-old buddy were hurt badly. They were, however, arrested when they tried to take off. Here’s the source.

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Rarely does a marriage that ends end well. This case from China (Jingzhou city, Hubei province) involves a marriage that ended very badly. As reported by Chutian Golden Newspaper, via China Daily:

The 44-year-old husband, surnamed Pei, lost his ability to work six years ago because of a brain disease and his wife became the family’s sole breadwinner, taking care of her parents-in-law and two sons.

However, she recently fell in love with another man and proposed a divorce to Pei, who refused.

The woman then strangled her husband with shoelaces, and cut his throat with a kitchen knife.

Yikes.

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Needless to say, you won’t get flush working at the Rockaway, New Jersey Dunkin Donuts, even on the night shift, unless … As reported at dailyrecord.com:

Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, was arrested after a six week investigation known as “extra sugar” that began when police got a tip that people could go to the Dunkin Donuts on Route 46 and arrange a liason with Redmond.

First reaction: Seriously, when resources are stretched so thin everywhere, the police spent SIX WEEKS on this? OMFG! Second reaction: “extra sugar”? Brilliant! But back to the intrigue…

“I had gotten an anonymous tip,” Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann, who led the investigation. “She was a night time employee (working 9 p.m. to 5 a.m.), supposedly a very good one.’’

Schwarzmann began gathering information and doing surveillance at the scene. He noticed on multiple evenings that she would go out to cars to see customers and would spend 10 or 15 minutes there, he said.

“Sometimes I ‘d even see money changing hands,’’ Schwarzmann said, adding that sometimes the cars would stay in the parking lot and other times they would drive to another nearby location.

So, with all of this valuable intel in hand …

An undercover operation was developed wth the assistance of Officer Robert Koehler and Officer Scott Haigh acting as the undercover “John.”

THREE COPS WORKING THIS CASE!!!!

“He went in plain clothes through the drive thru window,’’ Schwarzmann said. “He spoke to her and she said if he wanted a good time to call her and she gave him her phone number.”

Haigh parked in the parking lot and Redmond allegedly came out, approached him and gave him a specific price list for her services.

Haigh returned on another occasion and inquired about her services, was offered a new, and lower, price so he said he needed to go to a bank machine but would return with the money.

When Haigh returned, they drove to the back of the building and the arrest was made. Redmond was then processed, served her complaint and released.

Is it just The Juice (it often is, and he’s fine with that), or does anyone else (other than Ms. Redmond and her “customers”) think this was (and is) a colossal waste of time? Here’s the source.

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“Really Officer? I had no idea I was going that fast.” Uh-huh. “Yes, but I’ve only had a couple drinks.” The landscape is littered with lies to cops. This one is a humdinger. As reported by thedestinlog.com:

Daniel E. Debernardi was seen inside Night Town in Destin with a white substance, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s report.

Uh oh.

An employee of the nightclub was inside the bathroom when he saw Debernardi put his hand up to his nose and snort a white powder.

So it’s not looking good. But don’t jump to conclusions.

The employee escorted Debernardi to a deputy in the club. After a search, the deputy found a clear cylinder full of the same white substance that he was seen snorting earlier.

Doh! But wait, surely there’s a good explanation for this.

Debernardi told the deputy that he found the tube behind a toilet and thought he would try it.

Yeah, The Juice has found lots of good stuff behind toilets. Haven’t you?

[Mr. Debernardi] was arrested July 16 on charges of possessing a controlled substance without prescription. He is scheduled to appear in court August 16.

Here’s the source.

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So the United States already incarcerates a LOT of people. Imagine, if you will, that getting drunk in your own home, and having a party, were against the law. As reported by Al-Watan Arabic Daily (via The Arab Times):

Party holder held: Based on a tip-off, police rushed to an apartment in Hawalli and arrested an individual for consuming alcohol and holding fun party inside his apartment.

A police source said the drunkard had invited several friends to celebrate his birthday and got angry when he saw an invitee kissing and hugging his girlfriend. The drunkard became enraged and started shouting, as he ran after his girlfriend and the guest. Neighbors, who were being disturbed, called police and the drunkard was arrested, high on alcohol.

That’s right, we tried that once…