Squeezed on:

empty%20pockets.jpg

If you were asked what’s in your pockets right now, you would probably know, right? This dude clearly thought he knew, but he was wrong … Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

On July 15 an officer was called to the Rancho Alegre bar on Hollywood Boulevard by employees who had escorted a suspected drug dealer off the premises.  The man, Herminio Hurtado-Resendiz, 24, of Destin, told the officer he wasn’t selling drugs and voluntarily pulled out his pants pockets.

Um, are you sure about that?

The police officer spotted a small plastic bag fall out of Resendiz’s right-front pocket and land on the ground. The bag was full of a white, powdery substance that field-tested positive for cocaine.

Doh!

Resendiz was charged with possession of a controlled substance.

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Oops
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

middle%20finger.jpg

Regular Juice readers know that you have a first amendment right to flip off a police officer. That doesn’t mean you won’t be arrested and thrown in jail. It just means that ultimately you will prevail. Any way, the same does NOT hold true for Judges, as this gent learned. As reported by NewsLeader.com (Springfield, Missouri):

David Hernandez, 31, was arrested Wednesday at about 3 p.m. while in the audience of a court proceeding. According to the judge’s docket sheet, Hernandez disrupted the court three times.

“Upon Mr. Hernandez’s departure from the courtroom, in direct view of Judge (Todd) Thornhill, (defendant) flails his arms and then lifts both arms in the air and extends the middle finger of each hand in utter disrespect and contempt of court,” the docket sheet reads.

Hernandez was asked if there was any reason he should not be held in contempt and produced none, the docket sheet says. The court then found Hernandez in contempt and ordered him to jail until August 23. [a 30-day sentence]

A police incident report indicates Hernandez was booked without incident.

To his credit, Mr. Hernandez learned from his mistake, unlike this gent, or this one, or this one. Here’s the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

belt.jpg

Hmm. Do you take the belt, or not, and risk the consequences? Not that The Juice is pro-belt, but behaving is always an option – next time any way. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 16-year-old boy has been arrested after he allegedly pushed his mother away as she was trying to discipline him.

The boy’s mother told an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy the two got into an argument after she determined he was stealing cigarettes from her.

Stealing and smoking? Prepare your buttocks, young man.

She tried to discipline the boy with a belt, and he shoved her in the chest away from him.

The boy admitted shoving his mother.

Oh it’s on now … with the Judge.

[The boy] will report to juvenile court on Aug. 22.

Click here for the source.

Squeezed on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLwNNC2Ckco

Mess with this lady’s kid, and you may be looking at the back of her hand – coming at your face. As seen above, as reported by nbcmiami.com:

A Broward County mother is accused of being a school bus bully after she took justice into her own hands and confronted a child who hit her kid.

Toccara Daniels, 27, was arrested Tuesday and charged with burglary with assault or battery and child abuse without great harm.

Police say Daniels became irate when her young daughter told her another kid had hit him. The children are ages 6 and 7.

“Irate” about sums it up.

Daniels knocked on the bus door and the driver opened it, telling her she wasn’t allowed on, but she ignored the driver.

As evident in the video, the mad momma charged onto the school bus, had her daughter point out the boy who hit her. She then smacked the kid in the mouth with the back of her hand and told him, “don’t touch my child.”

As she she walked back to the front of the bus, the bus driver is heard telling her that she isn’t allowed on the bus, to which she replied, “I don’t give a f[uc]k.” The driver closed the bus doors and initially wouldn’t let her out.

As you might imagine, she wasn’t pleased, but she regrouped…

“Let me off this f[uck]in’ bus,” she can be heard saying. Eventually, she changes her tone, apologizes and the driver lets her off.

Click here for the source.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

drink%20and%20drive%20drunk%20driving%20driver%20not%20don%27t%20bad.jpg

A recent police blotter from The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario, Canada) has several examples of just how stupid people can be when they’re drunk. Of course, it might not be any different when they’re sober … but at least they wouldn’t put the lives of others at risk. This dipstick apparently forgot that McDonald’s is a fast food “restaurant” …

Staff at McDonald’s call police when a man ordering food at the drive thru appears to be drunk. They stall the customer until officers arrive. The 26-year-old Hamilton man is charged with impaired driving and refusing to give a breath sample.

Briliant! Being that The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, he gets especially pissed at dolts who flee the scene, like this guy.

A driver involved in a collision at Upper Wentworth and the Linc leaves the scene at 3:15 a.m. Half hour later, police locate the suspect trying to change a flat tire, stalled going the wrong direction on the eastbound QEW at the Red Hill. A 34-year-old Hamilton man is charged with fail to remain, impaired driving and over 80.

A well-deserved flat tire. This next miscreant is a bit more run-of-the-mill.

Witnesses call police at 1:20 a.m. when a woman who appears intoxicated leaves a variety store and gets into a vehicle. Officers find the woman asleep in the driver’s seat with the car running. The 44-year-old from Hamilton is charged with impaired and over 80.

Good idea, that, going to the variety store when you’re hammered.

Squeezed on:

ouch.jpg

Not sure how The Juice missed this one last week. One thing’s for sure – this gent wishes he’d missed. Yes, that’s cryptic. Here’s some clarification, as reported by NewsOn6.Com?

Police were called to Southwest Medical Center on Saturday, July 14, after a man came into the emergency room with a gunshot wound. Police questioned Tavares Donnell Colbert and told them he was on his way to sell a gun when he accidentally shot himself.

According to Colbert, he was on his way to S.E. 44th and Shields when he pulled over to the check the gun. He said he’d had problems with it earlier and wanted to make sure it was functioning properly.

Colbert told police when he tried to force the slide back, he also had his finger on the trigger. The gun went off and he shot himself in the penis.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! So what’s the “insult” added to this “injury”?

Police told Colbert because he had prior felony convictions it was illegal for him to own a gun. Colbert said he was aware of that, and that’s why he was trying to sell the weapon. Officers arrested Colbert after he was released from the hospital. He was booked into the Oklahoma County jail on one count of possession of a firearm.

Not a good day for Mr. Colbert. Here’s the source.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

no%20drunk%20driving%20drinking.jpg

(Pretty provocative title, right? The Juice is looking forward to the MADD emails.) Who is a better driver: a drunk 40-year-old or … a 13-year-old boy? Unfortunately, the drunk guy did not give himself the choice of “none of the above.” As reported by The Seattle Times, he went with … the boy.

The jerky driving and constant braking was an indicator of an inexperienced driver, but when the trooper pulled the sedan over in SeaTac on Sunday he was more than surprised by who was behind the wheel.

The driver, a 13-year-old boy, told the trooper that it was his first time behind the wheel, according to the State Patrol. His father, 40, had apparently been drinking at a house and had his son drive them home, said Trooper Julie Startup, recalling the conversation she had with the colleague who stopped the Lincoln on Sunday afternoon.

Doh! How about a taxi?

According to Startup, the silver Lincoln was heading east on South 166th Street in SeaTac when the vehicle, which had a broken windshield, and its young driver caught the eye of the trooper.

The trooper had the boy’s father step out of the car and noticed obvious signs of intoxication, she said. The man was booked in King County Jail for investigation of reckless endangerment and allowing an unauthorized person to drive.

And the young wheel man?

The boy was released to his mother and will not face criminal charges.

 

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

fornicator%20fornication.jpg

Trust The Juice ladies. This is a good thing. Why? Because fornication is a crime. And ALL the fellas get caught up in the dragnet, while the married ladies get a pass.

609.34 Fornication.

When any man and single woman have sexual intercourse with each other, each is guilty of fornication, which is a misdemeanor. [emphasis added]

Not so fast there, married ladies. Don’t forget about adultery!

609.36 Adultery.

Subdivision 1. Acts constituting. When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000, or both. [emphasis added]

So, if you’re keeping score at home, married men can fornicate, but married women can’t. And single men can commit adultery, but single women can’t. Time to change these laws?

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

Cats%20lots%20many%20tons%20cat.jpg

Lots of people don’t like cats. Probably 99.99% of those people just ignore them. But not this woman. Fortunately, the cat’s owner had a security camera that caught the whole thing on video. Per The Courier Mail:

The bespectacled, grey-haired woman, who appears to be in her 50s, was filmed about 8pm local time Saturday walking along Stephanie and Darryl Mann’s street in Coventry.

In the recording, the woman spots the Manns’ four-year-old rescue cat Lola and strokes it tenderly before suddenly grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and calmly dumping her in a rubbish bin before closing the lid and walking away.

How do you do that? Let’s hope she doesn’t have kids … And what about the cat?

The couple found Lola some 15 hours later when they heard the cat meowing in the bin. Lola has since recovered from the ordeal.

Cruella remains at large.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–