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Why shop for gifts when you can jack a what? As reported by The Belleville [Illinois] New-Democrat:

A whole lot of presents did not get delivered Monday when an armed robber carjacked a UPS van and unloaded it with an accomplice in East St. Louis.

The UPS delivery driver was making deliveries before 1 p.m. Monday in the 500 block of North 22nd Street when a man wearing a ski mask jumped aboard the van and pointed a gun, East St. Louis Police Chief Michael Floore said. The delivery man was forced to drive to 37th and Caseyville Avenue, where the masked gunman used a cell phone to make a call.

A blue van pulled up. Its driver and the robber unloaded most of the UPS van.

An organized jacking of a UPS truck? And you fellas expect to get away with that? Fuhgeddaboutit. UPS has to protect its drivers. Fortunately …

The driver was unharmed.

You’ll find the source here.

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Nothing will resolve the disagreement between those who believe concealed carry laws are a good thing, and those who think they are idiotic. Though we can’t know with certainty, Mr. Randall White is probably in the latter group. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

Police said the incident unfolded about 4 p.m. inside the Little Caesars, 3463 Fourth St. N, after Randall White, 49, got mad about his service.

White said he got mad because his thin-crust vegetable pie was taking longer than the 10 minutes he was promised. “Twenty minutes later, I’m like, ‘Where’s my pizza?’ ” White said.

That did not go down well with another patron.

Another man in line, Michael Jock, 52, of St. Petersburg admonished White. That “prompted them to exchange words and it became a shoving match,” said police spokesman Mike Puetz.

White raised a fist. Jock, a concealed-weapons permit holder, pulled out a .38 Taurus Ultralight Special Revolver.

Wo there. You’re pulling a gun over an argument – that you started – in a take-out line in a restaurant? Um, yeah.

He fired one round, hitting White in the lower torso. The men grappled and the gun fired again, hitting White in roughly the same spot, police said.

Well, that solved everything… And what exactly did the shooter tell the cops?

After the shooting, both men went outside and waited for police. Jock told officers the shooting was justified under “stand your ground,” Puetz said.

“He felt he was in his rights,” Puetz said. “He brought it up specifically and cited it to the officer.”

Seriously, that’s what he said.

He told officers he feared for his life. He mentioned that he thought White had an object in his hand, then backed off that when officers pressed him. Florida’s “stand your ground law” says people are not required to retreat before using deadly force.

What did the police think?

“We determined it did not reach a level where deadly force was required,” Puetz said.

Police arrested Jock on charges of aggravated battery with a weapon and shooting within a building. He was released from jail on $20,000 bail.

Said the victim:

White was treated at Bayfront Medical Center and released. Reached by phone Monday night, he said he felt lucky to be alive. He was also angry.

“There are arguments every day, but how many people pull out a gun? When you pull a gun out and shoot somebody, your life better be in danger,” White said. “He was in my face and I pushed him. His life was not being threatened.”

White said he still has a bullet fragment in his back.

“I got lucky,” he said. “To me, that stand your ground rule … people are twisting it. He’s twisting it. I walked in to get a pizza and I got shot … I’m hoping the law prevails. We’ll see.”

You’ll find the source here.

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So you say you’re the Constable? Yes sir, and my office is enshrined in the Constitution of The Commonwealth of Kentucky. There are more than 500 of us.

The job may not pay well (zippy!), but it does come with some perks, including that you get to do it without any training! It does not, however place the officeholder above the law. As reported by wdrb.com:

“They arrested [Bullitt County Constable Clifton] Hudson on a traffic stop and followed up with a search warrant on his home,” says Bullitt County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Mike Murdoch. “That’s where they were able to find drug paraphernalia, many other pills and marijuana including a ledger showing money he’s owed for prescription pain pills.”

Hudson had been serving as constable in the Mount Washington area since 2011.

Bullitt County deputies say citizens complained about him selling drugs before he was even elected, but because of his position it was harder to capture him in the act.

So what powers does a Constable have? Per kentuckyconstable.com:

Constables are Peace Officers with broad powers of arrest and authority to serve court processes. The Constable has the authority to enforce both the Traffic Code and the Criminal Code of Kentucky. They may execute warrants, summonses, subpoenas, attachments, notes, rules and orders of the court in all criminal, penal and civil cases (KRS 70.350). The Kentucky Constitution, Section 106, Constables will possess the same qualification as the sheriffs and may exercise jurisdiction in any part of the county. (OAG 62-115 and 40-776).

Those are some serious powers for a job that requires no training. Are they popular? Well …

Last year, Kentucky lawmakers considered eliminating the office after a Jefferson County Constable shot an accused shoplifter.

Last month a report from the State Secretary of Justice and Public Safety called the office outdated and irrelevant.

Click here to read an article about the report. As for Constable Hudson, click here, for a little bit more, including a mug shot.

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This may be the worst trade ever made in a jail, anywhere. As reported by the Des Moines Register:

A western Iowa man already convicted on federal fraud charges has been sentenced to more than two years in prison for selling his pain pills for candy.

Say what? And they weren’t just any old pain pills.

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In another installment of “Curse you, McDonald’s!”, a woman at a McDonald’s in Kansas City just LOST it over her hamburger order. As reported by KMBC-TV:

On Dec. 27, a woman at the McDonald’s at 3255 Main St. was upset about her order and returned her hamburger twice, demanding her money back.

Surveillance video showed that the woman started throwing things. She grabbed a water dispenser and dumped it on the counter. She also shoved a cookie container and several cash registers off the counter and threw a “Wet Floor” sign at the clerk.

When the clerk said she was going to call police, the woman fled the restaurant.

Hmm. I wonder where she’s headed …

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Can you really steal someone’s driveway? Yup, one paver at a time, as reported by Ocala.com.

The victim told Deputy Michelle Wright that she left her home in the 4500 block of Northwest 120th Street around 7:30 a.m. When she arrived home at 6 p.m. and drove onto the driveway, she felt a large “bump.”

Uh oh.

She said she got out of her vehicle and noticed that the concrete pavers used to make the driveway were missing.

They stole my driveway! In broad daylight! Surely someone saw this?

A witness told the deputy about seeing two men digging up the pavers, but said the activity didn’t seem suspicious because the victim had workers constructing a barn on the property.

Fair enough.

The men are described as a tall, heavyset black male in his 30s and a white male of small build who stood roughly 5-feet 3-inches tall. They were driving an older model black pickup hauling a flat-bed utility trailer.

And it’s probably parked on a sweet driveway, newly constructed with concrete pavers … Here’s the source.

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Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.

According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.

Yeah, like you would ever …

She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.

Ewwwwww. Yes, that’s why this is posted in The Juice’s “Gross” category.

The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.

Please, tell me this is a crime.

The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery and his court date is Dec. 26.

Yes! Think he’ll agree to a plea, or choose to appear in court? Here’s the source.

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How bad was this gent’s weekend? Let’s just say that, for a man whose last name is “Irish”, there was nothing lucky about it. As reported by The Union Leader:

Police were called to the Mall at Rockingham Park Friday at 8:19 p.m. in response to complaints that a man – later identified as Sean Irish [age 35] – appeared disoriented as he walked around the parking lot looking into parked cars. Officers spoke with Irish, then called Salem Fire & Rescue to have him checked out due to his condition, police said. Irish had prescription drugs on him and police believe he may have taken up to 80 pills in a short period of time, according to deputy police chief Shawn Patten.

80 pills? Must have taken a while to come down from that.

After the brief exam, Irish was told he was under arrest. He allegedly struggled with officers as he was being taken into custody. He was eventually released on $1,000 bail …

Up to 80 pills, and he was released? Maybe he wasn’t in such bad shape because …

On Saturday, police were called to LaQuinta Hotel for a report of a man refusing to pay or leave the premises. Responding officers found Irish at the scene and took him into custody. Irish allegedly had a small amount of marijuana on him. He was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled drug, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and criminal trespass. Irish was released again following his arrest.

That is officially a very bad weekend. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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Not sure how The Juice missed this one. In this case, the old saw is true – that a picture is worth a thousand words. (Click on the link below.) As reported by Reuters:

Four men stand tied up in front of one of the two donkeys which residents had accused them of stealing, at a kiosk in the town of Otumba, in the state of Mexico November 25, 2012. The local community had tied up and beat up the four men for the theft before handing them over to police officers after an eight-hour long negotiation, local media reported.

Shazam! Beat them up, and then held them hostage! And then turned them over to the police. You can see the picture here.

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Every year, somebody (okay, Fox News) finds a few instances of folks either following the Constitution (this often involves taxpayer-funded Christmas displays), or some entity trying to be sensitive to all religions (and maybe atheists too?), and blasts them relentlessly. Well, that’s a bunch of hogwash. But this? No, The Juice, as a lover of all Christmas lights (even those cheesy pre-wired animals – yes, the moving ones too) cannot abide by this truly outrageous conduct. As reported by The Beacon-News (Aurora, Illinois):

A 68-year-old man who lives near Yorkville told police that his exterior Christmas lights were cut between 9 p.m. Thursday and 12:05 a.m. Friday, the Kendall County sheriff’s office said. The victim said it is the third time in a week the lights have been cut at his home in the 0-99 block of Timberview Lane, police said. Police had no suspects.

They cut his lights 3 times! The Juice implores all residents of Timberview Lane, in all blocks, not just the 0-99 block, to be on the lookout for this scofflaw! Do it for the kids!

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