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Some bank jobs are planned very well, at least in the movies. This was no movie-type heist. Per a report by wpxi.com:

A North Braddock man is behind bars after police said he robbed a Swissvale bank wearing a blond wig, fake breasts and clown pants.

Swissvale police Chief Greg Geppert said Dennis Hawkins, 48, was sitting in a parked car covered in dye from an exploding packet when he was arrested Saturday.

The most amazing thing about this is that there is still at least one person WHO DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THE EXPLODING DYE PACK! The suspect stealthily entered the bank… um, not exactly …

Geppert said Hawkins was spotted in a Giant Eagle grocery store before shoplifting a BB gun from K-Mart before entering the bank.

And then?

Authorities said Hawkins robbed the bank at gunpoint then dropped some of it after the dye pack blew up.

The bail? $230,000. Click here for the source, including video footage from the bank.

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Hahaha. It’s so funny to post videos of me doing illegal things! Trouble? No cop will see this. No way! As reported by wfsb.com:

A 19-year-old Watertown man was arrested after posting a two-minute video on Facebook that shows him ramming his car into  trash cans set out along a quiet street. 

Watertown police say Dylan Muscio slammed the Subaru station wagon he was driving into  two trash cans on Kimberly Lane before posting the video online.

Detectives said Muscio and an unidentified passenger intentionally rammed into Rinaldi’s and her next door neighbor’s garbage can with the car.

“It’s a little scary. It looks like the video was during the day, and we have kids here playing all the time, ” Rinaldi said.

Brilliant! Click here for the source, and to watch a news story about the incident (including some of the video).

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It’s a little strange to call 911 on yourself. It’s even stranger if you’re doing it because …

“Basically I slapped him this morning because he wouldn’t have sex with me, and he hasn’t had sex with me in a couple of months, so I slapped him across the face and he wants me to go to jail,” reported the caller.

So why did this South Carolina woman call the cops?

She also told officers her husband was going to call the police, so she would do it for him, according to the report.

But before you take me to jail …

The wife then told the dispatcher she was going to change clothes and get ready for the police to arrive, because she didn’t want to go to jail in a sweatshirt and a pair of boxer shorts she was wearing at the time.

What did the husband have to say?

The husband claimed she never hit him and she just wanted to go to the J. Reuben Long Detention Center.

Quite the interesting family. The source is WMBF News. Click here for more.

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It’s not uncommon for police officers to charge people who flip them off. When those people fight the charges, they win. But what about f-bombing a police officer? Well, that depends, as an Ohio woman recently found out. As reported in The Knoxville News Sentinel:

Dorthea Frazier’s son Cody was arrested by Akron police after a brief car chase. Dorthea Frazier yelled at the arresting officers: “What the f[uck] are you arresting my son for? What are you doing?” She then yelled at a lieutenant: “You f[uck]ing crooked a– cop” and “You’re a b[astard?].” [uncensored by The Juice].

The lieutenant apparently ordered her to desist from further yelling, but Frazier persisted. Officers on the scene testified that her cursing drew a growing crowd and presented a possibly dangerous situation.

Officers charged her with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. In the course of her arrest, she suffered a broken arm.

Her defense, of course, was the First Amendment. The result?

A jury found her guilty of disorderly conduct. During that trial, she requested a jury instruction on freedom of speech that read in part:

“In the event that you find that the Defendant’s conduct was Constitutionally protected free speech, then you must find the defendant not guilty. A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct based on the words the person has spoken because such speech is constitutionally protected unless the defendant’s words rise to the level of fighting words.

“A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct by the use of words because the First Amendment protects a significant amount of verbal criticism and challenge directed at police officers.”

The Judge refused the request. Ms Frazier appealed and … lost. You can read a lot more here.

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The dumb part? Getting so drunk that he passed out. The lucky part? That he passed out on train tracks. Yes, that is the “lucky” part because this youngster crashed in between the tracks. So when the train ran over him, per The Des Moines Register:

Two railroad engineers for Iowa Interstate Railroad said they saw 17-year-old Christian Latshaw on the railroad tracks as they were moving east and crossing a Des Moines River bridge to East First Street south of Court Avenue about 10:45 p.m., according to a Des Moines police report.

When the engineers, David Good Jr. and John Knutson, realized a person was in front of the train, they applied the emergency brake, but the engine and first car still went over the top of Latshaw before the train stopped.

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So maybe it’s an unusual way to round out your outfit, but to each his own. From www.pennlive.com:

A 21-year-old Harrisburg man who wears a red clown nose while walking in New Cumberland is not violent and poses no serious threat to the public, borough police said.

Witnesses told officers they’ve seen the man point a toy gun at passing traffic and stare at people walking by, police said. He’s been cited for disorderly conduct three times since May, police said. 

The issue has garnered much attention on New Cumberland’s Facebook page, where some people say they are concerned about him. New Cumberland police say the man is mentally ill.

Maybe turn that concern into a helping hand? Here’s the source.

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Oh the joy of setting off a bottle rocket – unless it’s in … your pants! As reported by The Highline Times (Washington):

Police responded to a call for medical assistance in the 12000 block of Ambaum Blvd. A man accidentally set off a bottle rocket firework in his pants. He was transported to Harborview by ambulance to be treated for superficial burns on his groin, face and hand. No other injuries were reported.

Oops.

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It’s like natural law – you don’t have to write it down. It just is. Here’s the natural law in question: You don’t mess with someone’s toothbrush. Period. Tell it to Ms. Deborah Woist who, according to the police, definitely messed with HER SON’S toothbrush. As reported by The Morning Call:

Investigators say Deborah Woist, 52, decided on July 18 to tidy up a bathroom inside her Springtown Hill Road because it hadn’t been cleaned in two months. The problem, police said, is that she used her son’s toothbrush for the job and later returned it to its holder.

Yikes.

The son, 26-year-old Justin Novack, called police claiming his mother applied feces to his tooth brush.

Zoinks. The cops? Yup.

When police arrived at the home, Woist admitted she used the brush for cleaning and then put it back on the holder, police said.

The Juice gives her props for fessin’ up, though the cops clearly didn’t.

Woist was cited for harassment, police said.

So she ends up cleaning the bathroom and getting busted for her unorthodox methods. Harsh.

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&@#$#@)+&!!!! Everyone has thought about cussing someone out. Lots of us have done it. Not so many have done it on another attorney’s voicemail. A longtime prosecutor in Clark County, Washington sure wishes he hadn’t. As reported in The Columbian …

A 27-year veteran attorney of the Clark County Prosecutor’s Office — who has tried a number of high-profile criminals — has been demoted after leaving an explosive, profanity-laced two-minute voice-mail message on a defense attorney’s cellphone.

What made Mr. David so angry?

The situation started May 25, when [prosecutor Jim] David received an email from defense attorney John Terry notifying him that the defense attorney was prepared to go to trial the following week. Terry was representing Matthew L. Coonce, arrested on March 3 on suspicion of possessing methamphetamine and stealing a car.

David was under the impression that Terry wanted to postpone Coonce’s trial, so David said he had already scheduled several conflicting appointments. The next day, he called Terry, telling him a trial would force him to “cancel my weekend.”

Here it comes (with expletives reinserted):

“You’ve been telling me you wanted a continuance on the [fucking] case, and now you are telling me you want to go to trial next week,” David said in the voice mail. “I’m [fucking] laying you out. This is absolute [bullshit].”

David went on to say harsh words about [defendant] Coonce.

“It’s coming out of your client’s hide if I have to go to trial next week, and there ain’t going to be no stinking offers,” David said in the message. “There ain’t going to be nothing coming other than go to prison for a very long time.”

Although Mr. David has paid a price for losing his temper, he was right about that last bit.

Prior to trial, Terry filed a motion to dismiss the case because he felt David was guilty of telephone harassment and his actions unfairly prejudiced his client. Clark County Superior Court Judge Barbara Johnson denied the motion. The case went to trial and Coonce was convicted on June 3.

You can read a fair amount more here.

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Everyone speeds some. This Illinois gentleman, though, is in a class by himself. Let’s hope so, anyway. From the pages of The Beacon News:

At 182 mph, Rodney Jones was covering almost the length of a football field every second on his Suzuki Hayabusa motorcycle.

That is not a typo. 182! This probably won’t surprise you:

…. Jones, 39, has what officers believe is the fastest speeding ticket ever recorded in the Chicago area — and likely the state.

Hell, probably the world.

“When I looked at the radar and saw 182, I couldn’t believe it,” said Heinzl, who clocked Jones going more than three miles a minute in what he characterized as “moderate” traffic, before Jones surprised him by stopping.

“I asked him why he didn’t run and he said, ‘I wasn’t in the mood to run. If I’d wanted to run, I’d have run.’”

It’s unlikely he displayed the same demeanor before the court, because he surely could have done a lot worse.

Jones was fined $375 and ordered to buy high-risk insurance, according to court records and the Illinois Secretary of State.

Click here for the full story, including a photo of Mr. Jones.