Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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The public library is a terrific place for a 92-year-old man to … hook up? So thought Florida resident Herbert Johnson. The library’s employees were not flattered. Per nbcmiami.com:

Stuart resident Herbert Johnson, 92, has been ordered to stay out of Martin County public libraries after waging an amorous campaign toward female employees.

His offensive included, for one librarian in particular, a letter left on the front desk “containing sexually explicit language stating what (he) wanted to do to” her.

Authorities say Johnson also sent the woman “innapropriate” gifts and letters, which she either refused or destroyed. A second employee reported Johnson made unwanted advances toward her, as well.

You’re really not going to tell us what the “inappropriate” gifts were? Not cool.

A Martin County deputy visited Johnson at home, handing him a trespass warning for all county libraries.

Banned! Here’s the source.

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It’s at least a mildly interesting strategy – hiding in plain sight. And sometimes it even works on TV and in the movies.In real life? Not so much, as Floridian Bryan Hartman discovered. Per The Orlando Sentinel:

A St. Cloud man was arrested Monday after drug agents found marijuana growing in his front yard, they said.

Seventeen plants, from 2 feet to 7 feet tall, were growing in planters in front of the home of Bryan Hartman, 45, the Osceola County Investigative Bureau said. The house is in the 1100 block of Mississippi Avenue.

Hartman gave permission to search his home and was arrested on a charge of cultivation of cannabis, agents said. He was being held at the Osceola County Jail.

Doh!

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So this woman was walking her dog in Belmont, Massachusetts when, according to her, a car came speeding by. What did she do? As reported in the Belmont Citizen-Herald:

According to a police report, an officer on Oct. 1 met with a Belmont man who stated he was driving down Stone Road the previous morning when an object came through his open window and hit him in the face. He soon realized the projectile was “a flying bag of dog feces that splattered across his face, and the remaining matter soiled the front of the car,” the report said.

The Juice’s first thought: Helluva shot! Second thought: If the car is going so fast, how does she pull that off? Backstory:

The day before, on Sept. 30, an officer was dispatched to Stone Road to take a report from a woman about a speeding complaint. The woman reported she was walking her dog down Stone Road and threw a bag at a dark-colored sedan that was allegedly speeding down Stone Road, almost hitting a person on a bicycle.

The woman told police she ran to hid in a neighboring yard after throwing the bag, which she admitted was filled with feces, because the vehicle remained in the area.

The charges?

… assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, vandalism to property and disorderly conduct …

Yes, a “dangerous weapon” … Click here to read more.

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There’s nothing wrong with grown men liking toys, be they iPhones, sports cars, or … plastic action figures … A man in Japan was perhaps a little too attached to his toys, based on what he did when his mommy threw some of them away. As reported in the Japan Times:

A man charged with torching his home in Kasai, Hyogo Prefecture, admitted Tuesday he did it out of anger because his mother threw away some of his plastic figures from the “Gundam” animation franchise.

Oh, they were “Gundam” action figures? Now it all makes sense!

“Plastic figures of Gundam are like my life partners. I thought I would rather burn to death with them than have them thrown away,” said Yoshifumi Takabe, 30, who pleaded guilty as his trial began at the Kobe District Court. Nobody was injured in the blaze [although his mom was in the house!].

Takabe told the court he piled 200 to 300 boxes of Gundam plastic figures up to near the ceiling in his room.

Very uncool, especially since his little brother, mother and grandmother also lived in the 2-story house he torched . Here’s the source.

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So, as a result of this diet, you’ve gone from 413 pounds to 308 pounds in 8 months. Awesome, right? Not according to much-lighter Broderick Lloyd Laswell. Not only is he not pleased, he filed suit against the responsible parties – his jailers in Benton County, Arkansas (the Sheriff and the Jail Captain). Here are some of his complaints, as reported in The Northwest Arkansas Morning News:

“There are noticeable differences on the size of biscuits and cakes, as well as the sides,” according to Laswell, who also wants hot meals to be served from the jail’s kitchen.

“On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out,” Laswell wrote in his complaint. “About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again.”

“If we are in a small pod all day do next to nothing for physical exercise we should not lose weight,” according to Laswell. “The only reason we lost weight in here is because we are literally are being starved to death.”

If Jail Captain Hunter Petray is correct, it’s unlikely Mr. Laswell will starve to death. Captain Petray said that the meals average 3,000 calories per day.

Update: He dropped the suit! Perhaps this may be why, as reported by onpointnews.com.

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LSU%20tigers%20funny%20football%20picture%20sign.jpg No doubt regular Juice readers remember this “Motion for Continuance.” This one is not quite as funny (the bar is now pretty high), but it’s still Juiceworthy. In the Louisiana case of Harrell v. Spencer, et al., defense counsel filed, I shit you not, an “Unopposed Motion To Continue Trial Due To Conflict With The LSU Tiger’s National Championship Game.” In his supporting Memorandum, defense counsel states:

All counsel to this matter unequivocally agree that the presence of LSU in the aforementioned contest of pigskin skill unquestionably constitutes good grounds [under the statute – for continuing the trial]. In fact we have been unable through much imagination and hypothetical scenarios to think of a better reason.

What do you think the Judge did with the Motion? Granted. Trial continued to February 11, 2008. Okay, now I have a problem. February 11th is George Washington’s birthday. Really. As Stephen Colbert says, “Look it up.” You can read the Motion, Memorandum and Order here

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Seriously, you won’t believe what this man claims he found in his cereal. Warning: DO NOT READ THIS WITHIN ONE HOUR OF EATING. As reported by The Telegraph (Macon, Georgia):

An Upson County man and his wife have filed a federal suit against a grocery store chain and cereal manufacturer, contending that the man found a used tampon in a bowl of cereal.

If you didn’t just about hurl, what is wrong with you?

In the complaint, Thomas and Lynn Roddenberry said they bought a box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal from the Save-A-Lot store at 1021 N. U.S. 19 in Thomaston on Oct. 23, 2008.

The following day, Thomas Roddenberry opened the cereal box and poured cereal and milk into a bowl. After taking a bite, Roddenberry said he discovered the tampon in his bowl, according to the suit, filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Macon.

Roddenberry said he spit out the milk and cereal and became nauseated almost immediately. He went to an emergency room for treatment, according to the complaint.

The seal for the cereal box and the plastic bag containing the cereal showed no signs of having been broken by anyone previously.

Roddenberry sustained physical injuries “from the adulterated food” as well as emotional worry, according to the lawsuit.

The Roddenberrys are seeking unspecified general and special damages, as well as court costs.

Chon Tomlin, a Save-A-Lot spokesperson, declined to comment Friday, citing pending litigation.

A representative of Ralston Foods, the cereal manufacturer, also declined to comment in a phone message.

Now that is one bizarre, gross case. Here’s the source.

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It is a fact [or at least truthy] that most younger people don’t proofread. The Juice refers to this as “Spell Check Syndrome.” There’s a kid in Montana who is now likely cured of that malady. Here’s how it happened, as reported by The Helena Independent Record:

A Helena teen sent out a text message last week looking to buy marijuana, only instead of texting the drug dealer, he hit a wrong number.

Who received it? The Lewis and Clark County sheriff [Leo Dutton].

The text message said: “Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?”

Little dude and his buddy got stung, but got off, thanks to a compassionate cop. Click here to read the rest of the story.

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Really? Didn’t The Juice just tell you not to complain about the calzone? But no, you wouldn’t listen. As reported by the Sun Sentinel:

Flagler County authorities say a restaurant owner pistol-whipped and beat a customer who complained that his takeout order was incorrect.

Joseph Milano, the owner of Goomba’s Pizzeria, has been charged with aggravated assault and battery with a deadly weapon and released on bail.

According to a police report, security footage from the pizzeria shows that Milano struck Richard Phinney with a gun. He then jumped over a counter and started to assault Phinney and his roommate.

Phinney was at the pizzeria to collect a refund for a calzone, which he said was prepared incorrectly. He was taken to a hospital after the incident with a bloodied head.

Is it just The Juice, or would you like to try one of Goomba’s calzones too?

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Lots of people don’t like cats. Probably 99.99% of those people just ignore them. But not this woman. Fortunately, the cat’s owner had a security camera that caught the whole thing on video. Per The Courier Mail:

The bespectacled, grey-haired woman, who appears to be in her 50s, was filmed about 8pm local time Saturday walking along Stephanie and Darryl Mann’s street in Coventry.

In the recording, the woman spots the Manns’ four-year-old rescue cat Lola and strokes it tenderly before suddenly grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and calmly dumping her in a rubbish bin before closing the lid and walking away.

How do you do that? Let’s hope she doesn’t have kids… You can see the video by clicking here or on YouTube by clicking here (the woman enters at about 24 seconds). And what about the cat?

The couple found Lola some 15 hours later when they heard the cat meowing in the bin. Lola has since recovered from the ordeal.

Cruella remains at large.