Articles Posted in Best Of

Squeezed on:

By

guy_making_loser_sign_md_clr.gif You live in Georgia, and you Lose a City Council election (the right to be in the run-off, actually) to a transgender candidate. Naturally (if you’re Georgia Fuller, anyway), you sue for fraud. One small problem, Loser lady, City Coucil Member Michelle Bruce IS AN INCUMBENT. Doh! This doesn’t stop Fuller from arguing that, as she calls him, “Michael Bruce,” has an unfair advantage running as a woman! We’re talking about a town of 12,000 people, which Michelle has been serving for 4 years! Said Michelle:

I’m Michelle. I’m the same Michelle they elected four years ago. They’re just distracting the voters from the issues. Everybody in my district knows me, everyone in Riverdale knows me. I’ve done a real good job representing the people. I am for the people.

Because I think Fuller’s lawsuit is one of the most idiotic I’ve ever seen (considering how many cases I review daily for this blog, that’s saying something), Bruce get’s the last word: “People want a candidate that will listen to them, protect them, save them money and be there for them. And I always will be.” Hopefully, Ms. Fuller has moved on. Here’s the story from PrideSource.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

fart%20alert%20button%20funny%20joke%20button.jpg

With what? A fart. Yes, the police charged Clarksburg, West Virginia resident Jose Antonio Cruz with battery for farting on a policeman! As reported in the Charleston Daily Mail:

South Charleston police said they were fingerprinting Cruz at police headquarters Tuesday when Cruz moved near Patrolman T.E. Parsons, lifted his leg and passed gas “loudly” on the officer, according to a criminal complaint.

Cruz then waved the air in the direction of Parsons, who was preparing a breath test machine nearby.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint said.

Charges this serious cannot go unanswered.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

“I couldn’t hold it no more,” he said.

A valid defense. So what happened to Mr. Cruz? Someone thought better of it (perhaps everyone), and the battery charge was dropped.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

marijuana%20joint%20pot%20lit%20smoking%20dope.jpg

Well, kind of. A 17-year-old Washington student stood before his class and presented his essay on why marijuana should be legalized. And? Oh no you didn’t… Per The News Tribune:

At the end of his speech … [he] pulled out a joint, lit it and smoked away. Then he ate the remains.

Yes! Victory! He ate it, so you can’t … what’s that?

For that he got a quick escort to the school office and then a ride to Remann Hall juvenile jail.

The boy … was arrested on suspicion of unlawful drug possession, a misdemeanor.

In case you were wondering, he has a 3.7 GPA. To read more (a fair amount), click here.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

lady%20justice.bmp British hero policeman Andrew Shovelar is on trial for attacking his former girlfriend, a trial which was only supposed to take 8 days, but had wrapped its third week. What’s the problem, you’re wondering. Well, you see, several of the jurors have to go on holiday. What’s a judge to do? Not cancel the trial after 3 weeks, right? Wrong! HE DITCHED THE TRIAL SO A JUROR COULD GO ON HOLIDAY! Said Judge Heath:

It was made plain that she would be on the plane to Portugal.

It is the only realistic decision I can take in the circumstances.

No, my right honorable friend, it is not. It’s asinine! Now you know how the juice feels about jury duty. This is insane. What an incredible waste of time and resources! And the new trial? It’s set for 6 weeks in January 2008! (To read more, click here.)

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

censor.jpg

There is a law in Japan that forbids the importing of photographs showing male genitals. Why would The Juice know this? No, not because of a recent trip to Japan. Because, returning home from a trip abroad, Japanese publisher Takashi Asai was carrying a book of Mapplethorpe photos that he published in Japan in 1994. Under Japanese law, imported genital photos are illegal. So how did he make the book in the first place? When he brought the negatives in years ago, customs did not check them.

Mr. Asai is challenging the ban. Although he lost in the lower court, he is confident that the Supreme Court will rule in his favor. To see some of Maplethorpe’s work, click here.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

doctor%20bad%20operating%20suspended.gif If you or I ever try to pull the shit that Tennessee doctor Robert E. Grindstaff admitted to doing, fuhgeddaboudit. While he was in the hospital, here’s what went down, per The Kingsport Times-News:

[from August 3 through September 8] unlicensed personnel at Grindstaff’s Pinecrest Family Practice in Johnson City treated 115 patients by evaluating and questioning them about their needs and calling in refills for prescriptions without consulting a physician.

… during those dates If the patient required a Schedule II controlled substance, a member of Grindstaff’s staff took a note to Grindstaff to have him sign the prescription without his review of the patient’s records.

During the same time period, Grindstaff’s office billed patients for nursing visits despite the fact the doctor was not in the office and there are no nurses or staff members at the practice “with any formal training or experience in any medically related field.”

doctor%20nurse%20syringe%20bad.gif Really serious shit, right? Apparently not. Dr. Grindstaff did not even have his medical license suspended!

The board placed Grindstaff’s license on probationary status for two years, during which he must complete an educational seminar on prescribing controlled drugs, a comprehensive physician assessment, and a clinical education program.

The board further ordered Grindstaff to pay up to $1,000 of the cost of the health department’s prosecution of his case.

Excuse me, but la-di-fucking-da! This punishment was imposed notwithstanding that …

According to the board, Grindstaff’s actions violated both state statutes and medical practice acts governing gross malpractice, unprofessional conduct, prescribing and dispensing drugs, and medical record keeping.

Is it just The Juice, or do you folks agree that, absent some incredible mitigating factors, this guy should have had his license revoked?

Squeezed on:

By

injustice%20inhumane%20unfair%20working%20conditions.jpg The Juice suggests that you think again. You are not a “manual scavenger.” As described by writer Sunil Kuksal:

The term ‘manual scavenging’ describes the daily work of manually cleaning and removing human feces from dry (non-flush) latrines across India. Workers, mostly women and young boys, are also referred to as ‘night soil workers’, a Victorian euphemism that hides the repugnance of the word ‘shit’… Using a broom, a tin plate and a drum, they clear and carry human excreta from public and private latrines, more often on their heads, to dumping grounds and disposal sites.

Did I mention that the Indian government passed a law banning the employment of manual scavengers in 1993? It doesn’t seem to matter, since, as Mr. Kuksal notes:

The practice is on in almost all states, including Bihar, Maharashtra, Jammu & Kashmir and even Delhi. The Indian railways is one of the largest employers of manual scavengers.

And in an affidavit, the railway admitted that it has about 30,000 open-discharge toilets [that need to be cleaned manually]. How many people do you think are doing this job in India? According to the Indian government, 343,000. Why would anyone do this job? Per Mr. Kuksal, it’s caste-based, and is forced on the dalits by caste pressure.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

socks%20lots%20bunch%20pile%20funny.jpg That’s probably what Mr. James Dowdy is thinking. Per the Belleville News-Democrat:

In 1993, Dowdy received a three-year-prison sentence for attempted burglary after police caught him with a bag of stolen socks.

Damn. Three years for that? But wait …

[In 1997] … Dowdy was sentenced to six-years in prison for breaking into another woman’s home and stealing socks…

Okay. This is surely the strangest life of crime I have ever seen. But wait …

In 2004, Dowdy, received a seven-year prison sentence after he pleaded guilty to walking into a female neighbor’s home and taking her socks.

And just recently …

Dowdy … was charged with residential burglary, a class X felony. He’s accused of stealing a pair of socks early Monday morning from a victim’s basement.

His bail? $100,000! All the socks out there can relax. Mr. Dowdy is in jail, as he was unable to post bail. If there’s not more to this story, then, damn!

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

judge%20mean%20bad%20evil%20nasty%20crazy%20weird.gif Yup. Judge John P. Wulle, of the Clark County, Washington Superior Court, was attending a conference entitled “Planning Your Juvenile Drug Court in Los Angeles in July 2006. I know, skip the details – get to the dirt. Here’s some of what he said, as set forth in the “Stipulation” entered into by the Judge and the Commission on Judicial Conduct:

During a breakout session, the team’s facilitator wrote a star on an assignment the team completed and said jokingly, “Clark County gets a star.” Respondent [Judge Wulle] replied, “I don’t need a star, I’m not a Jew.”

Later in the week, during a break in the conference, other faculty members asked [Judge Wulle] who Clark County’s facilitator was, and he answered, “the black gay guy.”

A team member asked [Judge Wulle] to lower his voice … and he acknowledged the request by raising his middle finger at the team member.

During a breakout session … [Judge Wulle] became frustrated with the pace or direction of discussion, and announced it was time for the group to move on to the next topic. A fellow team member spoke up, “No Judge, this is important, we need to work through this,” or words to that effect. In response to this seemingly respectful entreaty, [Judge Wulle] angrily yelled, “F_ _ _ you” and threw his pen down on a table and left the room. [Regular Juice readers know that I don’t delete expletives. The Commission does, though.]

Zoinks! Maybe it’s me, but it seems like Judge Wulle wasn’t real pleased about attending the conference. If you want to read the full “Stipulation, Agreement and Order of Censure,” click here. And if you like stories about Judges, you’ll find a boatload of them here.

Squeezed on:

By

marijuana%20pot%20funny%20sign%20at%20least%20not%20crack.jpg

So this dude had 60 pot plants growing in 2 rooms. As luck would have it [bad luck, that is], there was a fire in his apartment building, leading to the discovery of the weed. How much time do you think he’s facing? Zippy. Nada. Squadoosh. Sure he doesn’t have a record, but if it happened to you or me, fuhgeddaboutit. We’re doing time. But not Mr. Graham McConnell, who actually had a pretty good story, which might even be true. Per The Paisley Daily Express:

[His lawyer said] “He is a man who has been using cannabis for some time and made the foolish decision to cultivate the drug in order to avoid coming into contact with those who traffic in the drug.”

“He had decided to grow a lot of the stuff, dry and freeze it and, by doing so, not become involved with those who traffic in drugs on the street.”

True or not, that’s a tough sell. Mr. McConnell was sentenced to 300 hours of community service. Here’s the source.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated: