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It’s a safe bet that nobody will be trick-or-treating at this man’s house for a long time. As reported at mynews13.com:

Children trick-or-treating Thursday night in a Deltona neighborhood got a rude surprise when Volusia County deputies said a 63-year-old man answered the door in a robe that exposed his genitals.

Call the cops!

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Doing any one of these things and driving is stupid. Doing all three at the same time? Idiotic. As reported by BeeNews.com (Western New York):

An Orchard Park man was charged with DWI after patrol responded to an accident in a Union Road lot.

While speaking to the subject, the officer smelled alcohol, and the man said, “Yeah I hit him. I was eating a chicken wing and texting.” His blood alcohol content was .11 percent.

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When a 51-year-old daughter wants to do something nice for her 80-year-old father, it’s a good thing. All agreed? Okay, what if the “thing” is hooking the father up with a prostitute? The Juice’s opinion remains unchanged. As reported by abcactionnews.com:

The pair, who listed their hometown as Dubuque, Iowa, were arrested on Nebraska Avenue, an area of Tampa known for prostitution activity.

Welcome to Tampa, Iowans!

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Judges are generally an understanding lot. But there are some things you just can’t say to a judge.  Mr. Harry Elias found this out the hard way. As reported by kamloopsnews.ca:

Harry Elias was in a family court proceeding on Monday when he allegedly told provincial court Judge Stella Frame to f-off during a heated family hearing, several people familiar with the matter said.

Allegedly? It was in open court!

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It’s just a bad idea to leave your car unlocked, period. It’s an even worse idea to leave your car unlocked with dangerous items in it. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 48-year-old man told Port St. Lucie police Tuesday he discovered his throwing knife, sheath, .40 caliber pistol and magazines missing from his 2003 Toyota Corolla, according to a police report released Wednesday.

He said he left his vehicle Monday in the driveway of his home in the 2700 block of Southwest District Avenue. The vehicle, he told police, was not locked.

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Yeah, like the post office is going to grant access to a post office box to someone other than the person renting the box. Well, there’s one woman out there who thinks that should be the case. No doubt she would feel otherwise if someone wanted access to her post office box. As reported at nj.com:

A postal customer who was refused access to someone else’s post office box physically assaulted the postal employee who refused her, police said.

Yes, that’s certain to engender cooperation.

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It’s so easy, in the comfort of your own home, or sitting there in your ergonomic office chair, to say that you wouldn’t have reacted as this Houston woman did. But can you really know with certainty? Exactly. As reported by khou.com:

According to officers with the Houston Police Department, the woman got upset over her drink at a McDonald’s restaurant, caused a disturbance, and then sped off [and allegedly led police on high-speed chase.]  Police said they spotted her older Mercedes with an expired sticker, and they tried to pull her over.

Okay, so perhaps she overreacted a little.

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The Juice should have a separate flavor (check out the “flavors” [categories] on the right-hand side of Legal Juice) for posts like this: “What were you thinking?”  As reported by The Baxter Bulletin (Mountain Home, Arkansas)

Bull Shoals police officer David Chatman gave Stephen Lewis [age 47] a simple choice on Friday afternoon: take down a sign Lewis was putting up in Bull Shoals or receive a citation. (Lewis is the owner of Lewis Sign & Neon in Mountain Home.)

You should know that Mr. Lewis was driving a 30-foot-long, 12-foot-high bucket truck!

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It was hard to decide whether to put this story in the “Uncool” or “Gross” category. The Juice went with “Uncool,” though it was a tough call. As reported by The Bastro Enterprise:

A video that went viral on the Internet appeared to show someone in a University of Alabama jacket abusing an unconscious Louisiana State University fan after Alabama beat LSU for the BCS football championship, Jan. 9.

Downing, of Smiths Station, Ala., was later booked on charges of sexual battery and obscenity. He was videotaped Jan. 9 “placing his genitals on an LSU fan’s face. The LSU fan appears to be heavily inebriated and practically unconscious,” a police statement said.

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We’ve all heard a story about someone mistakenly thinking somebody is pregnant. The Juice will wager you haven’t heard of anything remotely similar to this. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A woman told police a dispute began after Jessie Mae Dorsey told her she was pregnant but she said she was “just getting fat.”

Awkward. But okay? Nope, not okay. Here’s how it went down: