Please, please, please just tell The Juice you did not fall for the oldest trick in the book – the “key swap.” Okay, so The Juice had never heard of the “key swap” either. As reported by tcpalm.com:
It sounds like a Hollywood heist. Thieves stole a $55,000 vehicle from the Arrigo Dodge dealership Wednesday afternoon without breaking a sweat or a window.
Maybe Hollywood, Florida, but pretty smooth nonetheless.
You will not believe the lengths this gent went to just to get a discount on some donuts, not that asking them for free would have changed the story very much. As reported by www.mysuncoast.com:
Deputies say 48-year-old Charles “Chuck” Barry went to the drive-thru of a Trinity Dunkin’ Donuts last week, and after identifying himself as law enforcement, asked for a discount on his order of donuts.
Why certainly officer! No?
Coming forward as a witness is your civic responsibility, even when it’s dangerous. That said, the concept of “honor among thieves” is altogether different. Tell that to this gent, who committed a slew of crimes with his twin brother. As reported by wmbfnews.com (Charleston, South Carolina):
Federal prosecutors say a 30-year-old man was convicted of 39 armed robberies after his twin brother testified against him in court.
Wo. That is a boatload of armed robberies.
Hawaiian mom Ijeva Matavele had not been pleased when her 14-year-old daughter failed 2 classes. The girl agreed to get tutoring, and things … did not improve. As reported in the Honolulu Advertiser:
The daughter… skipped tutoring classes and hung out with friends. On the day her report card was due, the daughter — even though she was reminded by the mother to bring it home — said she forgot it at school, but eventually disclosed her grades included four C’s, one D and one incomplete.
When the mother demanded to know why the grades hadn’t improved, the daughter refused to answer. The mother then grabbed a plastic backpack containing a school folder and jacket and hit the daughter on the left arm as the girl tried to block the blow.
Beginning at the beginning – it’s a hunk of metal, plastic and glass.It can be replaced. A brain splattered all over the pavement can’t. From The Orlando Sentinel:
Val Jacques was playing chess at a Christian community center on Central Boulevard in Orlando on Friday afternoon, police say, when he saw a man climb into his sport utility vehicle. He’d left the keys in the ignition.
Jacques tried to open the door to the Mazda SUV, but the man locked it. Police say Jacques climbed on the roof, and the thief hit the gas.
Nobody likes waiting in the ER. But few people, if any, have reacted as this woman did. And it didn’t stop there. As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer at cleveland.com
Prosecutors said in April that [37-year-old Teri] Garko sought emergency medical treatment at the hospital and became angry at being kept waiting. She attacked the technician who was assigned to check her vital signs.
That will certainly get you attention. Not help, but attention.
Do you think you would wake up while someone was setting your pants on fire? This gent didn’t. As reported by nj.com:
A 47-year-old Trenton man suffered burns to his leg when his pants were set on fire last night after he fell asleep on the front porch of his home, police said.
The man awoke around 9 p.m. on the 1200 block of East State Street to find his pant leg on fire, police said.
You’ve heard the expression “Brilliant minds think alike.” Well, what about drunk minds? As reported by nj.com:
Officers Matthew McAuliffe and Robert Appel responded to a report of two men who crashed into a rock wall in the area of Simpson Avenue and Whitfield Place, police said.
Appel found a blue van at the the Sommerfield Avenue-Strowbridge Road intersection and pulled it over, police said. McAuliffe soon joined him at the traffic stop.
This story reminds The Juice of the time he was in a bank years ago and he happened to overhear a conversation between a disgruntled account holder and the manager. “They cleaned out my account” she said. “They said I won the lottery, and they needed my account number to wire the proceeds. How could you let them do this?” Yes, she was trying to blame the bank. The manager asked her if she had played the lottery. When she replied that she hadn’t, the manager asked “Then how did you think you could have won it?” Bam! Manager of the Year! Here’s a somewhat similar, though much less egregious, story as reported by brooklynpaper.com:
68th Precinct – Bay Ridge—Dyker Heights
A scammer bilked an 80th Street woman out of $1,500 over the phone between Oct. 21 and Oct. 30, police state. The victim said she got the first call at 10:45 am at her home between 11th and 12th avenues, informing her that she had won the lottery and needed to send a $1,500 deposit to receive the prize. After getting several more calls during the next week, the woman decided to send the dough in the form of three $500 gift cards. She got a check for $3,950, but when she went to cash it at 11:20 am, it bounced.
It’s a big country. And if you live in or near a major metropolitan area, you may forget about places like Newcastle, Wyoming. Now the folks there may be very nice, but if this is any indication, they’re not very open-minded. Check out this law:
Sec. 17-14. – Obscenity—Public appearance in nude; dress not belonging to sex of wearer; indecent exposure; lewd or indecent behavior.
It shall be unlawful for any person to appear in any public place in the city in a state of nudity or in dress not belonging to the sex of such person or in an indecent or lewd dress or to make any indecent exposure of his person or to commit any lewd or indecent act or behavior.
