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Generally, The Juice is not inclined to prejudge a pending action, but, IMHO, THERE IS NO WAY THIS WOMAN SLEPT THROUGH THIS! NFW. As reported by the Chicago Tribune:

A Buffalo Grove woman is accused of allowing an underage drinking party in her home after her son and 17 other teenagers were cited over the weekend for unlawful possession and consumption of alcohol, police said Monday.

17 other teenagers! But wait …

Police officers went to the house in response to reports of loud music and people yelling about 3:20 a.m. Sunday, Husak said. The teenagers, ranging in age from 16 to 19, were given breath tests at the scene and cited for violating a village underage drinking ordinance …

It was so loud somebody called the cops!

Margaret Couch, 46, told officers who were called to her home in the 200 block of Cottonwood Road that she was sleeping and unaware of the party, said Buffalo Grove Police Cmdr. Steve Husak. Couch was cited for violating a Buffalo Grove nuisance ordinance.

No! Sleeping? That’s the best you can do? How about “What was that, sonny? I’m a little hard of hearing.” Or “I thought it was that ‘non-alcoholic’ beer.”

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Sure, I’ll bet just about every one of you has talked on a cell phone while driving. But a Kettering, Ohio woman took it to another level. As reported by The Dayton Daily News:

Police in Ohio say a woman has been charged with child endangering after another motorist reported she was both breast-feeding a youngster and talking on a phone while driving.

Police in the Dayton suburb of Kettering say the caller told them he saw the woman Thursday.

Officer Michael Burke says authorities used a license plate number to track down 39-year-old Genine Compton.

He said the woman told officers she was breast-feeding and wouldn’t let her child go hungry.

Burke said the legal concern is that Compton had a child in her lap while driving, not that she was breast-feeding in public. He said the child was under 2 years old.

Police say the woman faces up to 180 days in jail and a $1,800 fine if convicted of the misdemeanor.

Here’s another multitasking story.



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serena%20kozakura%20large%20breasts%20big%20chest%20boobs.jpg Truth – this defense was really used in court. The charge against Japanese pin-up Serena Kozakura was kicking a hole in a door, and then crawling through it to enter an apartment. She was convicted. On appeal, Serena’s lawyer argued that, with a 44-inch chest, she could not possibly have fit through the hole in the door! The Judge agreed, and tossed the case. Said Serena,

“I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court.”

Shazam! Props to wizbangblog and Japundit for finding this story. Click here to see the story as posted on Weird Asia News (including photos and video).

Posted in: Best Of
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That, Juice readers, is the question of the day. It will be answered when Sarah Welch has her day in court from … (see YouTube video below).

As reported by TMZ.com:

Sarah Welch — a model and former contestant on “The Bachelor” — is suing several companies involved with the fashion show she worked at the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood on October 18, 2007.

Welch claims she suffered “great injuries to her body, shock and injuries to her nervous system” after she fell through a hole in the runway which was created by the performer who went on before her. [She] is suing for negligence and is seeking unspecified damages.



Posted in: Oops
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Colorado bus driver Jim Moffett is a hero, regardless of what the State Patrol thinks. As reported by the Rocky Mountain News:

Two elderly women exited the bus and tried to walk across Federal to their trailer home on the east side, Moffett’s stepson Ken McDonald said Tuesday.

“With that light snowstorm, my stepdad didn’t think they could cross the street safely,” McDonald said. “So he got off the bus with another passenger, and they helped the ladies cross.”

The four people had made it about halfway across Federal, and most of the northbound traffic had slowed to let them go the rest of the way, McDonald said.

“But one pickup driver got impatient and passed in the left- hand turn lane,” McDonald said. “He plowed right into my stepdad – but not before (my stepdad) pushed the old ladies and the other guy out of the way.”

Not only did Mr. Moffett prevent the elderly ladies [and a passenger who was helping out] from being injured or killed, he did so at his own expense.

Moffett is at St. Anthony Central Medical Center with bleeding in the brain, broken bones in his face, a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist and possible ruptured spleen and liver.

For his trouble, Moffett got a jaywalking ticket!

Ryan Sullivan, of the State Patrol, said that while Moffett’s “intentions were good,” jaywalking caused the accident.

Think maybe those “good intentions” would cancel out the jaywalking ticket? Discretion? Compassion? Anyone? Bueller?

Posted in: Say What?
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Oh no you didn’t just cite Ludacris, federal Judge Terence T. Evans. Okay, maybe “cite” is a little misleading, but still … from footnote 1 in U.S. v. Murphy

The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch “hoe.” A “hoe,” of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden’s response. We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho,” a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps “You doin’ ho activities with ho tendencies.”

I like it. Here’s the full cite (with a link to the case): U.S. v. Murphy, 406 F.3d 857 (7th Cir. 2005).

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Certainly all relationships have their ups and downs, but this is ridiculous. Chalie Simon, a 19-year-old sophomore at the University of Colorado, and her ex-boyfriend had, according to him, broken up about 20 times over the course of a year!

I’m guessing that he broke up the 20th time, and here’s why, as reported by The Boulder Daily Camera:

Cmdr. Tim McGraw said Simon … went to her former love interest’s apartment in the early morning hours and began throwing rocks at his window.

When the man opened the door for her and offered to let her come in from the cold, she allegedly became irate and tried to make her way into the man’s bedroom [where there was another woman], McGraw said.

After several attempts to remove her from the apartment, the woman allegedly grabbed the man’s genitals and “squeezed hard,” McGraw said.

Ouch!!!!!! thought the males reading this. BFD, thought the females. The police?

[Ms. Simon] was arrested and booked into the Boulder County Jail on suspicion of third-degree assault, domestic violence and first-degree criminal trespass.

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Perhaps there is one such family. It involves something that has probably never happened before, nor is it likely to ever happen again. On the same day, the New York Commission on Judicial Conduct found that two brothers should be removed from the bench. The North Country Gazette identified the brothers as follows:

Joseph S. Alessandro, a Justice of the Supreme Court, Westchester County, sits in Goshen and Francis M. Alessandro, a Judge of the New York City Civil Court,sits in Bronx County.

Both matters involve dishonesty. You can read the decision on Joseph Alessandro here, and Francis Alessandro here. Each man has 30 days to appeal.

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I think it’s safe to say that virtually everyone has heard the expression “doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.” With that in mind, here’s an excerpt below from a Florida disciplinary case against Dr. G.K. Dwarka Nath:

37. The pathology report for the “colonoscopy” biopsy found benign squamous mucosa … The finding was inconsistent with tissue from the rectum or colon, but consistent with tissue from the vagina. It became clear that Respondent had scoped the vagina and not the rectum.

Incredibly, he didn’t even know that the scope was inserted in the wrong place! Sadly, the disciplinary complaint also describes the case of another patient who did not receive the appropriate care, and died. And what of Dr. Nath? He was fined $10,000 and put on supervised probation! Here’s a link to the Final Order with the above language. There’s another action on the disciplinary board’s website indicating that he was put on probation on 2/23/09, but that Order has not been posted.

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english%20Judge.jpg Let’s say you are Sheikh Khalid Ben Abdfullah Rashid Alfawaz, you’re rich, and you’re getting a divorce in an English court. During a Hearing, here are some of the judge’s comments:

That the sheikh could choose “to depart on his flying carpet” to escape paying costs.

That the sheikh should be available to attend hearings “at this relatively fast-free time of the year.”

That he should be in court so that “every grain of sand is sifted.”

And the sheikh’s evidence was “a bit gelatinous . . . like Turkish Delight.”

What a card! The Sheikh was not amused. He asked the judge to recuse himself due to bias. When the judge refused, the Sheikh appealed and … won. He was booted from the case, and had to apologize. Not to worry, though. Lord Justice Ward threw him a bone.

No little part of my embarrassment comes from my belief that the injection of a little humour lightens the load of high emotion that so often attends litigation and I am the very last judge to criticise laughter in court. For my part I am totally convinced that [the judge’s] jokes were not meant to be racist and I unreservedly acquit the judge of any suggestion they were so intended.

Shazam! Next time I do something stupid, I want Lord Ward speaking on my behalf!