Squeezed on:

angry%20mob.png

Criminals don’t always make the best decisions. Here’s an excellent example, as reported by the South Asian Post:

Angry villagers in eastern India [Jharkhand] burned eight robbers and beat four others to death, police said. About 20 robbers raided a remote village in Jharkhand state, but were surrounded by hundreds of villagers, who began chasing them, the police said. “Four were beaten to death, while eight took shelter in a house, which was set on fire by the villagers,” Mohamed Nehal, a senior police officer, said. Armed villagers stood guard to ensure none of the robbers escaped.

Yikes. Some vigilante justice, a lot of deterrence …

Squeezed on:

f-bomb%20fuck%20fing%20f-word%20f%20word.jpg

Yes, and no. Okay, maybe. According to the Court’s latest ruling, yes. According to some prior rulings, no. Read on, from ANSA.it:

It is OK to say ”Who the f*** do you think you are?” to a boss as an ”instinctive” reaction to being reprimanded, Italy’s highest court said Thursday.

The expression was ”disrespectful but not threatening” and was not the sort of ”full-blown insubordination” that might justify a sacking, the Cassation Court said.

The court’s ruling, which sets precedents, came in the case of a Naples rest home assistant who was fired when he blew his top after his boss scolded him for breaking plates. The supreme court first OK’d the F-word two years ago, earning world headlines, but has since flip-flopped on the issue.

In July 2007, in its landmark ruling, the court cleared an Abruzzo town councillor who told the mayor to ”f*** off” during a stormy town meeting because the expression was now ”common usage”.

But it changed tack a few months later by ruling bosses couldn’t say employees were ”doing f***-all”.

A similar case last May saw the court take another view, saying mayors could use the word to swear at contractors.

But last July it said bosses must not swear at their staff in a case where a Sicilian company director accused an employee of not understanding ”a f***ing thing”.

Posted in: F-bomb
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

omelette%20good%20delicious%20cooked%20eggs%20big.jpg

Ravi, the husband, wanted an omelette for dinner. And he’s not real flexible (at least he wasn’t at the time). Wife Kavitha, a school teacher, didn’t feel like cooking no stinkin’ omelette. After an argument, she began chopping onions for the omelette. After another argument ensued, she took that old knife and planted it right in Ravi’s chest. Do NOT mess with Kavitha! (And, generally speaking, don’t argue with a knife-wielder.) The fuzz took Kavitha away, while neighbors took Ravi to the hospital. Here’s the article. (Trust me, my write-up is better.)

knife%20stabbing%20voodoo%20knives%20funny%20picture.jpg

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

stripper%20sign%20strip%20club%20mud%20flap%20girl%20neon.jpg

Tired of the same old billboards? You wouldn’t be, if you were in Sweden. Some Swedish legislators were upset by mobile billboard ads for strip joints. Per The Local:

“It’s degrading to continually be confronted with cars whose main purpose is to drive around Stockholm’s streets in the evenings – with naked women as the focal point – serving as advertisements for strip clubs,” wrote Sylvia Lindgren and Veronica Palm ….

“Motor-borne advertisements for strip clubs are definitely not in line with an egalitarian view of people. It’s a degrading view of women and sends the wrong signals, especially to children, young people, tourists, and others who find themselves in the public spaces of our streets and city squares.”

So they “introduced a motion that would have required permits for vehicles used to tow billboards through city streets.” What do you think? Did it pass? Nope. And …

As a result, Stockholm’s strip clubs are free to continue sending trucks and trailers rolling down the city’s streets featuring scantily clad women in seductive poses in an attempt to lure customers to their clubs.

The floodgates are open! Look for more scantily clad women, and an uptick in traffic accidents

Squeezed on:

Lake%20oswego%20oregon.jpg

It’s been a slow few days in Lake Oswego, Oregon, a town where, apparently, folks will call the police for just about anything. Here are a few highlights from the police department’s records, as reported by the Lake Oswego Review:

3/16/09 3:21 p.m. A rusted out van has been parked in a driveway for the past few years. [The … rust … must … be … stopped …]

3/16/09 7:39 p.m. A girlfriend was yelled at by her boyfriend and attacked by his dog at George Rogers Park.[It seems like it sorted itself out. Why call the police?]

3/16/09 11:08 p.m. Odd-looking furniture was seen inside a house.[Words escape me.]

3/17/09 5:44 a.m. An elderly man in a wheelchair at a convenience store kept asking people for a ride. He had somehow gotten out of his adult care home. [“Somehow?” Maybe by using his wheelchair?]

3/17/09 10:07 a.m. A shoeless man was seen walking on Highway 43. [No! The shoeless man is back!]

3/17/09 2:53 p.m. A man with a possibly stolen shopping cart was stopped and questioned. He claimed to have permission to use the cart. [Hey, I think that guy was in my town too.]

3/18/09 12:46 a.m. A female neighbor banged on her own door. [Damn you door banger!]

3/18/09 12:25 p.m. A woman has been followed while out walking for the past five years and is getting worried. [She’s just now getting worried?]

3/18/09 7:16 p.m. Five cars were parked for more than five minutes in a timed parking area.[The … fives … are … everywhere…]

3/18/09 9:43 p.m. A possible juvenile delinquent threw a ball of mushy paper at a person’s car. [“Possible?” Why is this kid still at large?]

3/21/09 10:31 p.m. A strange, slinking man was seen lurking around a neighborhood.[I was not “slinking.” I mean, I was home watching TV.]

3/21/09 11:20 p.m. A man was seen walking in circles and talking to himself. [Still at home, watching TV. Not much going on here.]

That’s all for now. Maybe we’ll check in on Lake Oswego another time.

Squeezed on:

maid%20housekeeper%20cleaning%20lady%20woman.jpg

If I titled the post “Vanessa Bryant, Vanessa Bryant ….” would you know who I was talking about? No. But like Prince, Shaq, and Magic, everybody knows who Kobe is. Now they’re also going to know a little more about his wife Vanessa, thanks to a lawsuit filed by the couple’s former housekeeper, Maria Jimenez, for wrongful termination, among other things. Here are a few of the allegations from the Complaint:

Among other abusive comments, Vanessa called Maria “lazy,” “slow,” “dumb,””a fucking liar” and “fucking shit.” [expletives inserted]

On another occasion, Vanessa derided Maria after Maria said she needed to see a doctor but the Bryants had not paid for her medical insurance. “You’re a fucking liar,” Vanessa said. [expletive inserted]

Uncool, but check this, um, shit out:

On the final incident, Vanessa screamed at Maria for putting an expensive blouse in the Bryants’ clothes washer. Then Vanessa demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse.

Snap! There’s PLENTY more. To view the entire Complaint, click here.

Squeezed on:

injustice.jpg

So this British woman (Penny Batkin) is driving her disabled son (he’s 4, can’t walk or talk, and has frequent seizures) to a hospice when she hears him gasping for air, as reported by The Telegraph. Of course she immediately pulls over to resuscitate him, which she does. Apparently almost everything in Britain is captured by CCTV (closed circuit television). Unfortunately for our heroine, patrolling CCTV-camera-wielding traffic wardens taped her pulling over – illegally, and fined her £100 ($145 US).

Surely the ticket would be dismissed when the authorities received her written explanation, with supporting documentation from the doctor? Nope. But she is pressing on with her appeal with the help of a disability advice charity called Richmond Aid.

A spokeswoman said: “It is absolutely shocking to discover that Richmond Council’s parking office cannot find it in their hearts to rescind a parking fine incurred by a desperate mother who had no choice if she was to save the life of her child. We are so appalled we struggle to find the words.”

*#@!&+%^! (That’s the Juice also struggling to find the words.) Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

speeding%20ticket%20excuses%20funny%20police.jpg

Here are some interesting excuses offered by speeding drivers, as recalled by a Tennessee judge and some police officers, as reported by The Murfreesboro Post:

… When he asked why she sped, the driver replied, “My colon has fallen in my vaginal canal.” Spence wrote her a ticket anyway. He figured she could bring medical proof to court if she wanted to contest the ticket. She paid it without a hearing.

Smyrna Police Traffic Officer Casey Hughey stopped a speeding driver and asked about the reason for traveling so fast. “My colonoscopy bag is leaking,” the driver replied. “Prove it,” Huey said. When the driver proved his case, Huey simply told the driver, “Have a nice night.”

Murfreesboro Police spokesman Kyle Evans, a former traffic officer, said he stopped a man and inquired about the reason for speeding. “The reason I was going so fast is because I couldn’t see the speedometer,” the driver said. Evans peered inside the car and the speedometer appeared fine. The driver explained. “Sir, I had my head so far up my butt there’s no way I could possibly see how fast I was going,” the driver said. “After a few short laughs and a warning citation, he was on his way,” Evans remembered. “It was the most original excuse I’ve heard in my 10 years as a traffic officer.”

Tennessee Highway Patrol Trooper Kay Peay clocked a man driving more than 100 mph on U.S. Highway 231 South (Shelbyville Highway) one cold morning. “Why are you going that fast?” Peay asked. He replied he was trying to get his window to defog because he couldn’t see. “Let me get this straight,” Peay said. “You’re going 100 mph because you couldn’t see?” “Right,” the driver answered. He got a ticket.

THP Sgt. Rick Smith said he’s had several drivers ride right behind him when he’s driving with his lights and sirens on while responding to an emergency call. In one case, a “silver-spoon-fed 18-year-old driving a Mercedes” chased Smith responding to an crash call. Finally, Smith got behind the driver and pulled him over. The driver complained at the scene and later to Judge Loughry that Smith entrapped him. “He told the judge I said he was a smart a–,” Smith said. “The judge told him he tended to agree with me.”

Say what? Yuk. Nice one. Dork. Mama’s boy. Click here to read more.

Squeezed on:

animal%20funny%20pig.jpg

I guess, once upon a time (and still? – okay, let me have it, Tremontonians), certain animal behavior was popular in Tremonton, Utah. From the Tremonton City Ordinances:

13-221. Unlawful Acts. It shall be unlawful for any person to … (4) … let any male animal to any female animal for the purpose of providing entertainment or viewing to any person.

Zoinks! Here’s a link to the Ordinances.

Squeezed on:

finger%20severed%20cut%20off%20chopped.jpg No, not that. Read on… So 65-year old Pamela Fox thought 50-year-old neighbor Marija Andric harmed her flowers. Ms. Fox then allegedly “poured a caustic substance over the borders and lawn of [Ms.] Andric,” per The Telegraph. But that wasn’t the end of it.

Mrs Fox confronted Miss Andric, who opened her door to find Fox pointing an aerosol spray at her face.

Olive Lycourgou, prosecuting, at Reading Crown Court, Berks, said: “Miss Andric put her hands up to protect her face. Mrs Fox leaned in and bit off the end of Miss Andric’s little finger.” After the alleged assault she said Fox spat blood out of her mouth and ran away. Surgeons were unable to reattach the finger.

Ouchee! You can read more here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated: