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When you think of a crime spree, don’t you think of a string of similar crimes? Irishman
Richard William O’Flynn, in Australia on a 2-year visa, defied convention with his spree. As reported by livenews.com.au:

His most bizarre act was to take a goldfish into a Ticketek office in the CBD and demand money so he could pay for food to feed it.

On another occasion he and a male friend got drunk and entered a cake store, where he demanded a “gay cake” for their “gay wedding”. O’Flynn then picked up a cake decorating knife and threatened the assistant, asking for money. When she told him she would call the police, he and his friend left the store, the court was told.

O’Flynn… also pleaded guilty to wilful damage for kicking a car during an argument in Bundaberg.

And finally,

He also pleaded guilty to using [the telephone] to menace, harass or cause offence after repeatedly calling a real estate agent and abusing her because she left a flyer in his mailbox.

We all hate those flyers, but seriously dude, recycle, don’t hate. What is Mr. O’Flynn’s fate? His guilty pleas were met with a sentence of “12 months [in] jail suspended after 80 days, which he has already served in pre-sentence custody.” A few parting words from the Judge:

Judge Griffin described O’Flynn’s behaviour as “disgraceful” and said Australia would be better off without him. [O’Flynn is returning to Ireland at the end of the month.]

“We will all be altogether pleased to see you go,” Judge Griffin said.

Really, is that any way to treat a guest in your country?

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Apparently, a severed foot is worth less than $100, at least in St. Lucie County, Florida. As reported tcpalm.com:

The St. Lucie County Fire District firefighter accused of absconding with a portion of a man’s leg from an Interstate 95 crash scene last year was arrested Monday on a misdemeanor theft charge, a Florida Highway Patrol spokesman said.

FHP officials on Monday arrested Economou, of the 500 block of Aster Road, on a second-degree petit theft charge, which is punishable by up to 60 days in jail, in connection with the incident. The warrant lists the value of Lambert’s foot at less than $100.

Why did Ms.Economou – who was firefighter of the year in 2007 - take the foot?

[She] wanted the remains to help train her cadaver dog.

And …

Economou … “repeatedly stated” to co-workers, including supervisors, she got permission from a deputy chief to take the foot, but he denied it.

Ms. Economou has since resigned. The Juice hopes she’ll be able to put her firefighter skills to work elsewhere. This shouldn’t ruin her career. You can read more here.

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If you live in Kern County, California, the answer is … there is no limit! That’s got some folks mighty angry with Ms. Kimi Peck, who has at least 168 dogs insider her home, according to KGET News. That’s a lot of dog hair. (Can you imagine washing and brushing all of those dogs?) Why so many dogs?

Peck says the animals at her house are society’s throwaways: dogs deemed too vicious or turned over to animal shelters in the Southland over the last 15 years and facing certain euthanasia.

You can probably guess why she moved to Kern County.

“I would never have come up here if it weren’t for the laws that stated it’s ok to have as many dogs as you want as long as they are individually licensed and have rabies vaccinations,” Peck said.

In fact …

Peck says she never applied for special zoning or a permit because she was told by Animal Control that she didn’t need one.

What’s in store for Ms. Peck?

“We’re going to go to the Board at the end of February, and ask the Board of Supervisors to make a determination there is a zoning violation there and to consider imposing administrative citations against [Ms. Peck],” said County Building Inspection Division Director Charles Lackey.

Think Ms. Peck is going to pack up and look for a more receptive locale? No chance.

“What do I say to them [her complaining neighbors]? Get a life. Get a life, you poor pathetic people,” Peck said. “These are lies. And these people better be prepared for a lawsuit.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Hey, look out for that … lamppost. As reported by the BBC:

CCTV has captured the moment when two handcuffed prisoners’ attempt to escape custody came to a crashing end as they ran into a lamppost.

The pair ran away while awaiting their court hearing in Hastings and managed to cross a street towards a car park before they were recaptured.

Thanks to our friends at www.lawandmore.co.uk for bringing this story to the Juice’s attention.

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Didn’t I tell you not to complain about the calzone? But no, you wouldn’t listen. As reported by the Sun Sentinel:

Flagler County authorities say a restaurant owner pistol-whipped and beat a customer who complained that his takeout order was incorrect.

Joseph Milano, the owner of Goomba’s Pizzeria, has been charged with aggravated assault and battery with a deadly weapon and released on bail.

According to a police report, security footage from the pizzeria shows that Milano struck Richard Phinney with a gun. He then jumped over a counter and started to assault Phinney and his roommate.

Phinney was at the pizzeria to collect a refund for a calzone, which he said was prepared incorrectly. He was taken to a hospital after the incident with a bloodied head.

Is it just me, or would you like to try one of Goomba’s calzones too?

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Mr. Weusi McGowan was on trial in San Diego. It’s clear that he was dissatisfied with both his lawyer and the jury. How do we know this? Per 10news.com:

At the mid-morning break, McGowan produced a plastic baggie filled with fecal matter and spread it on [his attorney’s] hair and face, then flung the excrement toward the jury box, hitting the briefcase of juror No. 9 but missing the juror himself.

Ooooooh. What then? The jury was dismissed (whew) and the trial was postponed until another lawyer could be appointed. And in case you think this was the first time …

The prosecutor said the defendant had previously wiped human feces on himself and was examined by doctors to ensure he was mentally competent to stand trial.

What do you Mr. McGowan was alleged to have used in the case he was on trial for? Wrong! Not feces.

The prosecutor said the defendant hit a man with a rock in a sock as the victim came out of his home to investigate a commotion on Oct. 17, 2007. McGowan allegedly ransacked the man’s apartment then stole some of the victim’s belongings and took off in the victim’s car.

Here’s the source.

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That headline is not hyberbole. As reported by the AP:

Law officers in western Kansas are investigating the bizarre case of a woman they say sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years.

TWO YEARS! What would you think happens to your body under those circumstances?

The sheriff said the woman’s muscles had atrophied and that medical personnel had to remove her from the toilet because she was bound to it by “natural means.”

So, the obvious question: What kind of boyfriend would let his girlfriend sit on a toilet for 2 years without getting her help? Answer: A dude who said that, hey, she stayed in the bathroom of her own free will. Legally, what’s going to happen to the “worst boyfriend over a two-year period” ever?

Sheriff Whipple said his office may charge the boyfriend with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

Sitting on his toilet for 2 years? I’d say that definitely made her “dependent” on him.

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foot_lick.jpg Target the store, that is. I don’t understand what drives a foot fetishist, though when I think about the sweet, gentle curve of the arch, the juicy meat of the big toe … oh, sorry. Anyway, I don’t know what Robert James, Sr. of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania was thinking when he went to Target, posing as a podiatrist. He identified himself as a doctor, and asked a woman what kind of shoe she was wearing because he was concerned about her arch support.

In furtherance of his Hippocratic oath, Dr. James got on his knees and “began to manipulate her toes and touch her foot” according to Officer Patrick Malloy. Then the jig was up. The woman told Target’s security about the good doctor. They found Mr. James in his car. He was [cover your kid’s eyes] playing with himself. What did the fuzz do? “Um, sorry to interrupt you, doctor…” No, they hit him with charges of indecent exposure and open lewdness. And surely he was charged with foot fondling? Nope. It’s not a crime in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania! Perhaps coincidentally, next year’s FLAP convention (Foot Lovers and Podiatrists) will be held in … Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. [not]

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Football%20flying%20fly%20throw%20throwing%20air.jpg No! I told you not to tell me that! As reported by The Cincinnati Enquirer:

The 88-year-old Blue Ash woman arrested after refusing to give a 13-year-old neighborhood boy his football back after it landed in her yard has sued the youth’s parents, alleging emotional distress.

Don’t laugh. This is serious stuff.

The suit contends that members of the Tanis household “have thrown objects against the side of Ms. Jester’s house, into her gardens and onto her porch.”

The Tanises and their minor children “regularly and without permission” enter Jester’s yard to retrieve footballs and other play items that have been “carelessly tossed” onto her property, the suit adds.

See what I mean? Very serious stuff. Oh, the pain! This is exactly the kind of case a personal injury lawyer hates to see. Click here to read more.

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[Warning: kids, leave the room.] Ms. Gill Hodges committed an almost unspeakable crime: she used four parking vouchers to pay for her parking, instead of two! And she had the nerve to wonder what difference it made, since her four vouchers added up to £2, exactly the required fee. I can answer her question the same way I answer my kids on occasion [the occasion being that I can’t think of a reason] – because. Ms. Hodges is not one to take such things (including a £60 [$120 US]) fine lying down. She e-mailed the council, and, per The Guardian, here’s how it responded:

Despite clear instructions on the reverse of Mrs Hodges’ vouchers warning that you can only use two vouchers at any time, the council decided to use its discretionary powers and revoke the fine.

However, this cancellation came with the proviso that should Mrs Hodges get another parking ticket, that fine will not be cancelled.

So kids, remember today’s lesson: while 2 x 1 = 2, don’t assume that 4 x .5 = 2. Click here to read more.

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