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Not you, knucklehead. You can pick up your beer and keep drinking, unless you’re in Malaysia. Such was the case for 32-year-old part-time model Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, a mother of two who was busted for throwing a beer down at a night club, and sentenced to six strokes of the cane (and fined). And she’s not appealing. Per the New Straits Times:

… Pahang Syariah chief prosecutor Datuk Abdul Rahim Jaafar said the caning would not cause physical injury as it was merely to make the offender feel repentant.

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The good news: Ontario resident Barry Shell won the lottery, hauling in $4,377,298. The bad news? Per The Toronto Star:

… after a smiling Shell, 45, had posed for an OLG [Ontario Lottery and Gaming] photo holding his cheque for $4,377,298, he was arrested outside the building on outstanding criminal charges and taken into police custody.

The charges?

… failing to appear, theft under $5,000 and possession of property obtained by crime.

Seems the OLG conducts a “rigorous investigation” of anyone who claims a prize. Here’s the full story.

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Okay, so that’s a slight exaggeration, since the sound barrier on land is about 761 mph (it varies with the atmospheric conditions). But perhaps I am in a state of shock after reading that a nun in Italy was busted for going 110 mph! Really, and with 2 other nuns in the car. Why? Well, as reported at news.com.au, they were …

… on their way to visit the Pope after a bathroom fall.

Demon driver Sister Tavoletta, 56, was at the wheel of the Ford Fiesta, while two other nuns aged 65 and 78, who have not been named, were with her when shocked police pulled them over.

When stunned officers asked them why they were speeding, Sister Tavoletta said: “We had heard how the Pope had fallen over and we were on our way to make sure he was OK.”

The nuns were stopped on a dual carriageway at Quincinetto, near Turin – just an hour’s drive from Pope Benedict XVI’s summer holiday chalet at Les Combes.

They had heard that Pope Benedict XVI had slipped and fractured his wrist at the Salesian convent where they live and immediately got into a car to try to visit him.

A Turin police spokesman said: “The officers involved were amazed to see three nuns in the Ford Fiesta when it stopped – it had been clocked at 110 mph.

“Hopefully, Sister Tavoletta will be making sure she confesses her bad driving the next she goes to confession but in the meantime she will have to pay the 375 Euro (A$659) fine she was given.”

Unlikely, since she is fighting the fine (and the one-month suspension she received), having retained “Italy’s best known lawyer in driving cases, Anna Orecchioni.”

She said: “I will be taking this matter before a judge to get the penalty removed and the nun’s licence reinstated.”

Here’s the source.

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Before the potheads among you get too excited, or the wingnuts blow a gasket, this new iPhone application won’t direct you to your neighborhood dealer. Here’s what it will do, as reported by The Sun:

Simply named Cannabis, the £1.79 [$2.99 US] app lets users search by city for their nearest medical cannabis suppliers, doctors, clinics, lawyers and other relevant organisations.

It currently covers 13 US states which have passed laws allowing medical cannabis use, legal cannabis “coffee shops” across Europe and uses Google Maps for directions.

Makers [sic] the campaign group Ajnag.com hope to add cannabis related news, menus, reviews and videos soon.

It is available from the Apple iTunes App Store now, and requires the iPhone 3.0 Software Update.

Having just checked the App Store, the Juice can confirm that Cannabis is indeed available, though the initial reviews are not exactly glowing. …

Worthless in the state of Colorado …

Want my money back …

(The average rating is 2.5/5.) Here’s the source.

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With a saw. Really. And then he offered her $5 not to call the police! As reported by The Treasure Coast Palm:

The altercation happened Wednesday morning in the 1700 block of Wyoming Avenue after James Patrick Fitzgerald and his 41-year-old mother argued as she tried to get him to take his medication. Following the argument, the boy bicycled to the Wyoming Avenue address, where he apparently started hitting a tree with a saw.

The mother followed him but he still wouldn’t take the medicine. Fitzgerald raised the saw and hit his mother, who had a minor laceration, on top of her head.

“When he saw the blood coming from her head he threw down the saw and started to plead with the victim to not call the police,” the [police] report states.

He reportedly offered a $5 bill to his mother if she didn’t notify authorities.

The charge? Aggrevated battery. Does this kid have any history? Funny you should ask …

The victim’s pregnant 19-year-old daughter said Fitzgerald has tried to cut her stomach with a fork, claiming he was going to give her a “C-section.”

Wow. That’s more disturbing than the saw incident. But there’s more …

She also said he tried to use hairspray and a cigarette lighter as a torch to set the family cat ablaze.

Yikes! And …

The 19-year-old daughter’s husband said he found Fitzgerald looking up bomb-making instructions on the Internet.


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kauai%20legal%20juice%20birds%20of%20paradise.jpg Kauai has got to be one of the coolest places on earth (especially the north shore). It’s definitely the coolest place I’ve ever visited. But even this totally chill tropical paradise has a few rules. For example, when you visit somebody in the hospital, you can’t bring the patient’s horse (in the elevator!) to cheer him up. Now it is Kauai, so the hospital does allow pets, like cats and dogs. And they are almost apologetic about this limitation.

“On Kauai, we have a very warm inviting atmosphere at Wilcox [Memorial Hospital],” [hospital spokeswoman] Yukimura said. “We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse.”

legal%20juice%20coral.jpg Ma’am, I want to live on your island! Yes, we understand. Oh – one more thing about the horse. After all the man went through to cheer up his ailing relative – he brought the wrong horse!

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Yes indeed. Washington [state] resident Roy “Billy” Day did not appreciate being dumped. So he camped out (literally) in his ex-girlfriend’s attic. (He had a sleeping bag and a fan up there!) He then cut a hole in the ceiling, jumped down and assaulted his ex and her daughter. He hit his ex more than 20 times.And he punched her daughter too. Mr. Day is being held on $500,00 bail. Click here to read the entire story.

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Is it just me, or does “Friday” evoke positive thoughts for you too? For most folks, it’s the end of the work week, and the beginning of the weekend. Well sir, an Italian court took a different view of “Friday.” As reported by the BBC News:

Italy’s top court has banned a couple from naming their son Venerdi (Friday), saying such a “ridiculous” name could expose the boy to mockery.

That’s not all, though.

The judges also ordered that the boy be renamed Gregorio – after the saint’s day on which he was born.

What the hell is going on in Italy? Do you think the parent should appeal? This was the appeal!

The Cassation Court upheld earlier rulings by lower courts that Friday was too reminiscent of the name of Robinson Crusoe’s native servant in the classic shipwreck novel.

And what’s up with my Italian brethren?

Gian Ettore Gassani of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers backed the ruling.

Non mi piace. Here’s the source.

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Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:

Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.

“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.

So Mr. Wagar decided to fight back.

This year, Wagar borrowed a pair of night vision goggles from his son and waited outside. It wasn’t long before he saw a group of about 20 kids approaching his house from the east, through a soybean field. He confronted them and asked them to leave. They refused and began throwing eggs at him. That’s when Scott unleashed his secret weapon.

“I figured that fox urine against eggs was probably equal force, and so I should be okay,” said Wagar.

Using a Super Soaker squirt gun, Wagar sprayed the teens with fox urine. One teen grabbed him around the neck, and when he wouldn’t let go, Wagar bent his finger back.

Question: Where do you get fox urine, let alone enough to fill a Super Soaker? Regardless, though sentiment in town seems to be on Mr. Wagar’s side, he was charged with 5th degree assault for spraying the little miscreants, who have not yet been charged.

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Yes, “right to dry,” not “right to die,” though some people may jump off their condo balconies if, heaven forfend, Project Laundry List, and some New England legislators get their wish. What do they want? Per The Boston Globe:

If successful, the measures in Vermont and Connecticut would be the first in New England, and among the first in the country, to protect the age-old custom of air-drying laundry. (The proposal in New Hampshire died in committee, but proponents say they plan to try again next session.)

And why is this a good idea?

“People think it’s silly, but what’s silly is to worry so much about having to look at your neighbors’ undies that you would prevent them from conserving energy,” said Vermont state Senator Dick McCormack, a sponsor of “right to dry” legislation. “We’re not making a big deal over clotheslines; we’re making a big deal over global warming.”

Sign me up. This I why I will NEVER live in a condominium, or anywhere with a homeowner’s association. Too many friggin’ rules. Here is the Rulies [my word – somebody please add to Urban Dictionary and Wikipedia – props to me] argument:

“If you imagine driving into a community where the yards have clothes hanging all over the place, I think the aesthetics, the curb appeal, and probably the home values would be affected by that, because you can’t let one homeowner do it and say no to the next,” said Frank Rathbun, a spokesman for the Community Associations Institute, a national group based in Virginia that represents thousands of homeowner and condominium associations, many of which restrict clotheslines.

Mercy! Here’s to line-drying.

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