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Movies … real life. Movies … real life. See where we’re going here? Mr. Travis Hayter apparently confused the two, much to the detriment of fellow golfer Alan Bezanson. As reported by the CBC:

A man who hit a golf ball straight at another player, injuring him, has been ordered by the Nova Scotia Court of Appeal to pay more than $225,000 in damages. Plaintiff Alan Bezanson says he hasn’t been able to work since he was injured on June 8, 2002.

The New Glasgow, N.S., man and the defendant, Travis Hayter, were golfing in a foursome that day as part of a wedding celebration for Bezanson’s cousin. By the time they reached the 16th hole, Hayter had consumed nine beers and a half pint of tequila, the court heard.

9 beers AND half a pint of tequila? Incredibly, not only was the dude still standing, he was going all Happy Gimore.

That’s when he ran up to his ball and took a swing out of turn. Someone yelled, “Heads up, he’s going to hit again.” But it was too late for Bezanson, who was standing no more than 20 metres away. Hayter hit what court documents refer to as a “so-called Happy Gilmore shot,” named after a film character played by Adam Sandler.

According to court documents, Bezanson put up his hand to protect himself and the ball hit his left wrist, causing permanent damage to his radial nerve.

Bezanson, a woodcutter, has been unable to work without pain. When the case originally went to court, a judge awarded $227,500 to Bezanson, a father of three.

How did “Happy” take it? He appealed. The grounds?

… it wasn’t the first Happy Gilmore-style shot he had taken that day and Bezanson should have known what was coming.

The result? Not good for Happy.

…the Court of Appeal dismissed that argument, upholding the earlier court’s ruling that Hayter’s behaviour was not a “natural risk” of golfing.

Hayter was ordered to pay Bezanson $85,000 in damages, $67,500 in lost income and $75,000 for lost future earning capacity.

Ouch, all around.

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If you are one of those folks who refuses to carry a cell phone, I seriously doubt that this story will change your mind. But for those who carry them religiously (me?), and feel strange if we don’t have them, vindication! Check out this story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

The robber came in the door of the Beverage Mart liquor store in Roswell, waving a big, black hunting knife.

He wanted the money in the knapsack. Now!

He lunged at the clerk, Joseph Wescott, 59, who leaned back to get away from that 10-inch gleaming blade. The knife hit the cell phone in Wescott’s breast pocket instead.

That bought time. Time enough for Wescott to reach for the Glock .40 he kept under the counter.

It was Monday night, about 8:30 p.m., and that’s when accused robber, Carlos Jeanpierre, 24, of Atlanta, realized this might be the end.

He ran for the door, but not before Wescott got off a round, hitting him in the side. The bullet went in the right side and lodged in the left side of the abdomen.

I think Mr. Westcott owes his son a huge “thank you.” Why?

Wescott … is the father of a Roswell Police officer. The son had bought his dad both the gun and the phone, Wescott said.

 

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Folks in Valentine, Nebraska can now breathe a huge sigh of relief because the Butt Bandit has been arrested. It’s not clear why they call him the Butt Bandit since neither his butt, nor any other part of him, ever stole anything. To the contrary, he actually leaves something behind [bad pun, I know], his butt (and/or groin) prints in vaseline or lotion. As reported in The North Platte Bulletin:

The rash of bizarre behavior began in May 2007. Valentine police already had fielded about 20 different reports by this time a year ago.

Rewards offered through Crime Stoppers failed to provide any leads. No physical structure has been damaged, although producing the printings probably involved indecent exposure, officials believe.

The charges? They haven’t been filed yet – perhaps because they’re tring to come up with the crime? Criminal vaselining? First-degree buttprinting? Here’s the source.

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Irony? Sixty-one-year-old Janusz Nowak of Sosnowiec, Poland was sick and tired of people vandalizing his bus stop. So, he pasted the following notice on the pavement:

“Dear Vandals – please stop destroying the bus-stop.”

And guess what happened? He was arrested for vandalism!

A police spokesman said: “Although the man had good intentions and wanted to express his indignation towards hooligans’ behaviour in the neighbourhood he unfortunately broke the law himself.”

What a brilliant use of police resources. Here’s the story.

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“Shock” can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun …

A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back — and she didn’t even feel it.

Skeptical? Check out the picture here.

Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety.

The office worker had grappled with her attacker when he snatched her handbag as she walked to her parents’ house in the Russian capital Moscow.

But she was so shocked by the ordeal she didn’t know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck just fractions of an inch from her spinal cord.

When she got home her horrified parents rushed her to hospital where surgeons managed to remove the blade without damaging Julia’s spine.

Crazy.

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In many households, there is a debate over piercings of various body parts. What body part? How many piercings? At what age? But what about this: piercing a kitten’s ears! That’s what a Luzerne County, Pennsylvania woman has been charged with, as reported by WNEP-TV. In fact, the jury is deliberating as this is being written.

Investigators slapped three counts of animal cruelty on [Holly Crawford] in December, 2008 after SPCA officials took several kittens and a cat from Crawford’s home in the Sweet Valley area.

Officials accused Crawford of piercing the kittens ears and trying to sell them on the internet as “Goth kittens.”

So uncool. But is it a crime?

At the heart of the argument is whether or not Crawford’s actions fit the mold for animal cruelty.

During the trial a forensic veterinarian testified for the prosecution that Crawford maimed, disfigured and tortured the kittens, a legal statute for animal cruelty.

Said the defense …

“Parents take their kids to get pierced at a young age. That’s not a crime! If you say it’s wrong to pierce a cat’s ears. Then you’re holding the cat to a higher standard then children.”

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This is definitely the most bizarre type of “fishing” The Juice has ever read about. As reported in the Strongsville, Ohio police blotter of the Sun Star Courier:

… officers had a chat with a boy because of his unusual fishing methods.

Concerned residents called police because the youngster — who was at Waterford Lake on Prospect Road — was catching fish with a bow and arrow that had a suction cup attached.

Sure, that’s a little odd. But then …

He would take the fish out of the water, beat them to death on a rock and throw them back in the pond.

Hmmm. This might be something his parents should know about, no? Apparently not.

Officers told the young fisherman that only catch-and-release fishing is allowed at the pond. The boy left the area.

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So you get popped in the face. Why wouldn’t you call the cops? Well, it depends on who’s doing the popping, and who gets popped. Per the San Diego Union Tribune:

A man who was busy robbing his elderly victim Saturday became so upset when a bystander tried to break up the crime by punching him in the face that he called police to report an assault.

Brilliant!

Once [the police] put two and two together, police officers located the 83-year-old victim, who confirmed the crime, and arrested the 43-year-old man for suspected elder abuse and robbery, said San Diego police Officer David Stafford.

Police were called at 4 p.m. to Akins Avenue at 62nd Street near a trolley station, where the robber had the elderly man pinned against a wall and was rifling through his pockets when the bystander interrupted the crime, Stafford said.

Here’s to the unnamed “bystander” who didn’t just “stand by.”

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That “Ellen” thing. That is essentially why Heartland Inns of America fired Brenna Lewis, according to Ms. Lewis. But, as reported by Courthouse News Service, Ms. Lewis may have the last word.

An Iowa hotel clerk who describes herself as “slightly more masculine” can sue her former employer for allegedly firing her because she wasn’t pretty enough and she lacked “the Midwestern girl look,” the 8th Circuit ruled.

Here’s the background:

Lewis said she was fired in 2007 for not conforming to sex stereotypes and for questioning recent policy changes.

Lewis has “an Ellen DeGeneres kind of look,” according to her former manager, Lori Stifel. “Lewis prefers to wear loose fitting clothing, including men’s button-down shirts and slacks,” the ruling states. “She avoids makeup and wore her hair short at the time. Lewis has been mistaken for a male and referred to as ‘tomboyish.'”

BFD. Apparently it was, to Ms. Barbara Cullinan, director of operations…

Cullinan allegedly said Lewis lacked “the Midwestern girl look,” and stressed the importance of having a “pretty” desk staff.

When Cullinan told Stifel to move Lewis to the night shift, Stifel allegedly stuck up for Lewis, saying she had been doing a “phenomenal job at the front desk.”

Well done, madam.

The next week, Cullinan asked Stifel to resign and implemented stricter hiring rules, explaining that “hotels have to have a certain personification and appearance,” Lewis claimed.

No good deed goes unpunished. But Judge Diana Murphy had the last word, at least for now.

“Cullinan’s criticism of Lewis for lack of ‘prettiness’ and the ‘Midwestern girl look’ before terminating her may … be found by a reasonable factfinder to be evidence of wrongful sex stereotyping,” she wrote.

Here’s the source.