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captain%20obvious%20funny%20picture%20pink%20cape.jpg So these 2 cops were in an unmarked car in street clothes [sort of]. But perhaps alleged prostitute Rose M. Townsend should have picked up on the following signs:

Detective Osborne was wearing a tactical vest with the word “Police” in large letters!

Detective Hamblin was wearing his badge on the outside of his clothing.

Oh, and after Ms. Townsend had approached the car and said “I’m looking to party,” both Detective’s radios “received transmissions dispatching units on a run,” per Detective Hamblin.

So she took off, right? Nope. As reported in The Indianapolis Star:

Townsend, unaware that the men were officers, allegedly offered to perform a sex act in exchange for $20, according to the report.

“Are you kidding?” Hamblin reportedly asked Townsend.

“No, I am not kidding,” she replied, according to the report.

Osborne then got out of the vehicle and placed Townsend under arrest.

“What did I do wrong?” Townsend reportedly asked as the handcuffs were being placed on her wrists.

Zoinks!

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Yes, although it’s not exactly sweeping the nation, apparently you can get high from sewage gas. It’s called Jenkem. If this dude in Fort Pierce, Florida is any indication, it’s bad news. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A rooming house reeking of human waste in the 100 block of North 11th Street was evacuated late Wednesday and closed because a disgruntled second-floor renter apparently emptied buckets of raw sewage inside and left, according to police reports.

Police say the upstairs renter probably has been using the sewage to create a gas that when inhaled creates a euphoric high similar to cocaine. The gas — called Jenkem — is collected in a balloon on top of a closed container filled with digesting human waste.

“Highs” from the gas can last 20 minutes, but police quoted the landlord as saying the renter had become aggressive. And six months after moving in, the renter was told to get out, police reports show.

The landlord “theorized that …. (the renter) may have intentionally destroyed his building with ordure (excrement) as a means of revenge for having been ejected from the property,” the report says.

Not cool.

Police were first alerted 10:55 p.m. Wednesday when a downstairs renter came home to repulsive smells. The first officer on the scene also “noticed a strong foul odor (that) wafted through the cold night air,” reports show.

Inside the downstairs room the renter found brown liquid running down the walls and coming through ceiling. Some was in the curtains and on the floor.

Because of the smells, a police officer used an outside staircase to get to an upstairs hallways and to a room “covered with dark substance that appeared to be fecal matter,” according to the police report. “The room had several dozen containers and a five-gallon bucket….containing some of the material” that was dumped onto the floor and furniture.

Worst tenant ever!

Rebuilding the rooming house could cost $150,000, said police who continuing to investigate the case and whether to file charges.

Ouch. Here’s the source.

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If you’re thinking this Crestview, Florida woman hid the shoes on her person, you’re right. In her coat? Nope. Pants? Nope … As reported by NWFDailyNews.com:

A Nov. 29 video surveillance showed the woman take clothing and pass them to the man, according to an arrest report from the Crestview Police Department. The man rolled each item and passed them back to the woman.

The woman hid a pair of shoes under her breasts. She hid the rest of the items in her purse.

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Clearly times are tough. But check this out, from a sermon by Anglican priest Tim Jones, per The Daily Mail:

He told parishioners [shoplifting from major stores] would not break the eighth commandment ‘thou shalt not steal’ because it ‘is permissible for those who are in desperate situations to take food that they might not starve’.

Really? The Juice hasn’t seen that version of the ten commandments.

Father Jones, 42, was discussing Mary and the birth of Jesus when he went on to the subject of how poor and vulnerable people cope in the run-up to Christmas.

‘My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift,’ he told his stunned congregation at St Lawrence and St Hilda in York.

‘I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.

‘I would ask them not to take any more than they need. I offer the advice with a heavy heart. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift.

Good luck getting that genie back in the bottle. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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In Oklahoma City, it’s illegal for a minor to possess a “broad-tipped” permanent marker. Here’s the ordinance:

§ 35-201. – Prohibition on possession of aerosol spray paint by minors.

No person under the age of 18 years may possess an aerosol spray paint container or broad-tipped indelible marker on any public property unless accompanied by a parent, guardian, employer, teacher or other adult in any similar relationship and such possession is for a lawful purpose.

This is not academic, at least for one 13-year-old boy. As reported by The Oklahoman:

A 13-year-old was arrested Friday in Oklahoma City, accused of violating a little-known city ordinance that prohibits possession of a permanent marker in some circumstances.

Doh!

The teen was caught using a permanent marker at Roosevelt Middle School by a teacher, according to the crime report filed with the Oklahoma City Police Department.

Delynn Woodside noted the marker had bled through a piece of paper onto the desk and reported to a police officer that she also had seen the teen writing on the desk with the marker, the report said.

Woodside, a seventh-grade math teacher, made a citizen’s arrest on the teen, and the police officer transferred the student to a Community Intervention Center that houses juveniles who have been arrested. The name of the minor was not released.

A citizen’s arrest under that law? And sending the kid to Juvie? Why go all “Gomer Pyle” on the kid (see above) instead of just sending him to the principal’s office for defacing school property? Here’s the source.

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As a general rule, cab rides not only lack drama, but are downright boring. There was an exception to the rule a few days ago in Sacramento, as reported by The Sacramento Bee:

A cab driver had a dispute with a rider over the destination at 20th and Q streets in midtown Sacramento on Saturday, according to a crime report.

The fare pulled a folding-blade knife, but no threats were made. The cab driver fled on foot.

The rider also fled on foot but not before paying (and tipping) the cab driver.

The rider was not found, police said.

Isn’t pulling a knife [apparently during an argument] a threat? Anyway, here’s the source.

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Google probably gets sued everyday for some wacky reason. Add this one to the list – in the “Google satellite – underwear” category. As reported by The Mainichi Daily News:

A woman [in Fukuoka] is suing search-engine giant Google Inc., saying her psychological condition worsened after discovering that a search for her address brought up a photo of her underwear hanging out on her veranda.

The woman, who is in her 20s, filed suit against Google at the Fukuoka District Court for 600,000 yen [$7,162 US] in consolation money and other payments.

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What, you think Santa isn’t feeling the recession too? As reported by The Providence (Rhode Island) Journal:

A man dressed in a Santa Claus suit and armed with a gun robbed the East Providence Yacht Club on Pier Road on Sunday night, according to police.

A bartender had been getting the bar at the yacht club ready for the evening when a man, described as large and wearing a Santa hat, white beard, a red Santa suit jacket and jeans, walked in and produced a shotgun or rifle-type gun from a Santa bag.

The bartender fled through the bar entrance and escaped to a nearby establishment.

Police said an undetermined amount of cash was missing from the bar register when police arrived. The incident is under investigation.

Here’s the source. And here’s a video of the story from the local tv station.

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Your wife leaves you, and this is what you do? As reported by the Bee News (New York):

A Poinciana Parkway man wanted to file a missing 
persons report for his wife, 
who was staying with family and no longer wanted to 
speak to him. The man said 
she had to come home, because he didn’t know how to 
cook for himself.

Even if she comes back, think the food will be any good?

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The Juice seriously doubts that Mr. James Lewis will ever complain about his wife’s cooking again. Why no more complaints? In 2 words: fifty stitches. As reported by wral.com:

Deputies responded to an assault call Friday morning on the 5000 block of Justice Branch Road and found paramedics treating James Lewis, 85, for head injuries. Lt. Stevie Salmon of the Halifax County Sheriff’s Office determined that Lewis and his wife, Rosie Lee Lewis, 71, had argued over what she had cooked for breakfast.

The couple continued to bicker as Rosie Lewis cooked another meal, Salmon said, and the argument escalated to the point that James Lewis raised his cane as if he were ready to hit his wife. Rosie Lewis then hit him on the head several times with an iron frying pan, knocking him to the ground, Salmon said.

Damn!

James Lewis was taken to Halifax Regional Medical Center, where he received 50 stitches to close his head wounds, Salmon said.

And Ms. Lewis?

[She] was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, and authorities said she was being held without bond because the charge stemmed from a domestic dispute.

Click here for the source, including a photo of Ms. Lewis. And check out this wacky food complaint story. And this one.