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The Juice has shared many “911” stories over the years. (Click here for all Juice posts with “911.”) This one is clearly “top 5” material. As reported by The Sandusky Register (Ohio):

Officers responded to the 100 block of E. Water St. at 3:17 a.m., where several bar patrons had been arguing. Police told Joseph A. Walsh, 26, to calm down and leave the area.

And of course Mr. Walsh … didn’t.

Walsh started to get into a vehicle with some friends to leave, but then began arguing with one of the men and shoved him, police said.

Police arrested Walsh for persistent disorderly conduct. While taking him into custody, officers said Walsh was unsteady on his feet, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.

Officers also found a rolled $20 bill containing suspected cocaine residue on it in Walsh’s front pocket.

Having clearly done nothing wrong …

Walsh became belligerent with officers while en route to the police department, so they placed Walsh in a holding cell, but he screamed and pounded on the door, refusing to settle down, they said.

Police then handcuffed Walsh to the holding-cell door to keep him from hurting himself or damaging department property.

Apparently that was the final straw for Mr. Walsh.

… while officers completed charges against Walsh, he managed to take out his cell phone and call 911 to complain that he was being held against his will.

Brilliant!

Police took the phone and served Walsh with charges of possession of cocaine, persistent disorderly conduct and misuse of 911. He was booked into the Erie County Jail.

Doh! Here’s the source.

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“We just robbed the Chicken Shack! We just robbed the Chicken Shack!” Okay, so these Lakeland, Florida perps didn’t actually yell that out, but they might as well have. As reported by wtsp.com:

Tuesday morning, Officers Tony Williams and David Kaiser responded to reports of a burglary at the Chicken Shack located at 813 West Memorial Blvd. When police showed up, they found the business had been robbed of t-shirts, beer and other property.

A witness who called in the burglary also reported seeing two men running from the store and was able to give a description of the men. A short time later, and not very far away, the officers spotted 35-year-old Chad Berrien and 31-year-old Rickey Wright.

You’ll recall that they stole some t-shirts. Yup …

Police say Berrien and Wright were both wearing Chicken Shack t-shirts and had several more in a bag. The suspects also still had some of the stolen beer minus what they had already drank.

They were drinking? No way.

Both men are charged with burglary and grand theft.

Here’s the source, including mug shots.

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This is really gross and weird. Who likes sucking blood so much that he would do it for 2-3 minutes? Why would you let someone do that? As reported by The Arizona Republic:

A vampire-crazed man was sentenced Monday to three years probation for stabbing a friend who had refused to let him suck his blood.

Some “friend” he turned out to be …

[Aaron] Homer [age 24] stabbed the arm of Robert Maley, 25, of Chandler on Oct. 4 after Maley refused to let him suck his blood a second time, the police report said.

Maley had let Homer suck his blood before, but only because Homer was threatening to cut his ex-girlfriend or her friend. Homer sucked his blood for two to three minutes that time.

Two to three minutes!

On Oct. 4, Homer was demanding to suck his blood a second time.

“I said no, and he flipped,” Maley told police. “He said, ‘I’m doing it,’ and then boom . . . he stabbed me.”

Maley fled from Homer’s apartment on the 600 block of North Alma School Road, leaving a trail of blood in addition to fake blood that Homer or his girlfriend, Amanda Williamson, 21, had spread on the floor, according to the police report.

“They think they are vampires,” said Maley of Homer and Williamson. The pair, he said, are also into paganism.

Homer later admitted to police he stabbed Maley because he was making fun of their “religion.”

How do you get no jail time after admitting that you stabbed someone? Here’s the source.

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There’s a dress code at the mall? At least at the Quaker Bridge Mall in Trenton, New Jersey there is. And in case you think the saggy pants looks is a male thing, think again. As reported by The Lawrenceville Patch:

Ashley L. Diggs, 24, of the 800 block of East State Street in Trenton, was charged with disorderly conduct after she allegedly refused to pull her pants up inside Quaker Bridge Mall, according to Edgar.

Diggs was reportedly walking around the mall, in the 3300 block of Brunswick Pike (Route 1), about 6 p.m. Saturday with her underwear visible, Edgar said. He said mall security officers approached Diggs, advised her of the mall’s dress code, and asked her to “pull her pants up.”

Edgar said Diggs allegedly started yelling obscenities at the security guards and became so unruly that she scared “numerous children” nearby. Police were contacted and Diggs was arrested by Officer Steve Simon, he said.

Sure, make it about “the children.” Who could be against “the children” and in support of baggy pants woman? The Juice, for one. Ridiculous.

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Next time you want to do something nice for a neighbor, think about this story, and then do it anyway. Because there can’t be a lot of neighbors with this particular dynamic … As reported by wftv.com:

Authorities said Joseph Florence was upset with how his neighbor’s yard looked, so he decided to water it. His neighbor called police.

Calling the cops? An overreaction, perhaps? Now that we’re talking about overreactions, how did Mr. Florence respond when the police arrived?

Police said when they arrived and tried to arrest Florence for trespassing, there was a struggle and he punched and choked the officers.

No! Bad move. [See above.]

The officers were not seriously hurt, but Florence ended up with two black eyes.

Florence was arrested and charged with battery to a law enforcement officer, assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, depriving an officer of communication, and resisting an officer without violence. Florence was taken to the Polk County jail.

The Juice has a feeling that won’t be the end of it. Here’s the source.

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No offense to the kid who started all of this “no cussing” hullabaloo, but really, has the word “shit,” by itself, ever hurt anyone? Right. What about “You’re fat” or “You’re ugly” or “You’re stupid?”
Off the soapbox, though, and on to Mr. Anthony Ruano. Seems that young Mr. Ruano (age 18) had an argument with his dad, then headed across the street, spray paint in hand. On the wall of the building facing his dad’s house, he wrote a 7-foot-long message – “Fuck You.” Unfortunately for Mr. Ruano, that building WAS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

As luck (bad) would have it, Mr. Ruano chose to do this during Los Angeles County’s “No Cussing Week.” Per The Contra Costa Times,

Ruano finds himself prosecuted under a City Attorney’s Office plan to work to improve safety and security at the city’s school campuses….

[He] was charged with one count of vandalism and could go to jail for a year and pay up to $10,000 in fines if convicted.

It’s pathetic, but props to The Contra Costa Times for at least saying the graffiti rhymed with “Muck Goo,” placing it one notch above the legions of “expletive deleted” censors.

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You’re driving down the road in Florida and you see a beautiful orange grove, or a cow with a silhouette of Jesus on her. You’ll have to resist the urge to take a photograph unless you have the owner’s permission, at least if a Florida legislator has his way. Here’s part of a bill proposed by Senator Jim Norman:

(2) A person who photographs, video records, or otherwise produces images or pictorial records, digital or otherwise, at or of a farm or other property where legitimate agriculture operations are being conducted without the written consent of the owner, or an authorized representative of the owner, commits a felony of the first degree …

A felony? Why pass such a law? Would it pass constitutional muster? As reported by The Florida Tribune:

Media law experts say the ban would violate freedoms protected in the U. S. Constitution. But Wilton Simpson, a farmer who lives in Norman’s district, said the bill is needed to protect the property rights of farmers and the “intellectual property” involving farm operations.

Simpson, president of Simpson Farms near Dade City, said the law would prevent people from posing as farmworkers so that they can secretly film agricultural operations.

So this is a problem in Florida?

[Mr. Simpson] said he could not name an instance in which that happened. But animal rights groups such as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and Animal Freedom display undercover videos on their web sites to make their case that livestock farming and meat consumption are cruel.

Sorry Mr. Simpson, but The Juice agrees with this lady.

Judy Dalglish, executive director for the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, said shooting property from a roadside or from the air is legal. The bill “is just flat-out unconstitutional not to mention stupid,” she said.

Here’s the proposed law, and here’s the rest of the Trib article.

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The Juice has the utmost respect for police officers. But, just as there are lawyers who do bad things, such is the case with police officers too. But there are no dashboard cameras for lawyers… Unfortunately for this baton-wielding officer (see below, at the 15 second mark), his dashboard camera was up and running. He was subsequently fired, criminally charged, and convicted, which you can read about here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1joImpo4l0