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Nobody can argue that times are not tough. Some people might argue, though, that this is not the best way to go about getting money. As reported by wesh.com:

It’s not normally a problem when a disrobed woman asks customers for money at a strip club. But it is when the woman doesn’t work there.

Deputies said that’s exactly what happened Tuesday night at the Baby Dolls strip club in Pinellas County.

Deputies arrested Natalie Marie Behnke, 25.

Yikes.

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Your mission: theft. You think you’re the only one out there with that mission? A ten-year-old found out the hard way that stealing isn’t such a great idea. Per The Bee News (Buffalo, New York):

Two 10-year-old boys tried to steal a game from a 
Thruway Plaza Drive
business, but tuhe manager sent them on their way. The 
boys were then seen on
the curb outside crying, because one of their bicycles had 
been stolen.

Bad day, but hopefully lessons learned (stealing = bad idea; locking your bike = good idea).

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Lots of people eat fish. Probably most people. Is it really so bad to eat a goldfish? Apparently so, as Briton Chris Caswell found out the hard way. As reported – with no slant whatsoever[!] – in The Sun:

Cruel Chris Caswell was arrested yesterday over the sick stunt that was videoed by his giggling pals and posted on Facebook.

Damn you Facebook!

The lout, 30, paid £1.99 for a fish then asked staff to put it in a glass he had brought along, claiming he lived just across the road.

A puzzled shop worker agreed – then watched in horror as he downed the fish in one swallow.

Oh the humanity!

After Caswell ate the creature, his pal doing the filming crowed: “Goldfish down the hatch!” The yobs then marched out of the shop cackling and joking.

Police were alerted after the appalling footage was posted on the web.

Roofer Caswell was arrested in a dawn raid at his home in Newton Aycliffe, Co Durham, yesterday on suspicion of cruelty to animals.

Really? A “raid”?

He was quizzed at a police station for an hour then released.

Should have asked President Obama for special dispensation to send the gent to Guantanamo Bay.

The yob last night insisted he was an animal lover and it was just a prank.

He bleated: “It was over a year ago. We had been out drinking at a friend’s party. I can’t remember much about it. I have just got a puppy. I like animals.”

If Caswell is found guilty of animal cruelty he could face a £20,000 fine or six months in jail.

This guy is a criminal? Sounds more like a prankster. Here’s the source, including video of the incident.

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Yes, Juice readers, it is still illegal in Florida for unmarried couples to live together! Here’s the statute:

TITLE XLVI CRIMES
Chapter 798 ADULTERY; COHABITATION

798.02 Lewd and lascivious behavior.

If any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or if any man or woman, married or unmarried, engages in open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, they shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083 [A $500 fine and up to 60 days in jail]

Good luck to Republican Representative Ritch Workman who is trying to get this ridiculous, oft-violated (1 million+ lawbreakers in Florida!) off the books. Seems there aren’t a lot of lawmakers in Florida with a spine. Here’s an article about it in The Orlando Sentinel.

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You know the cops are getting annoying, idiotic calls like this all the time. As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

FRAUD, CRYSTAL CREEK DRIVE [Brecksville, Ohio]: A resident reported April 1 that someone had hacked into her email account and sent money requests to those on her contact list.

The victim was made aware of the situation when her friends began calling to inquire about the emails. The report did not state if anyone sent the requested funds.

One question for the complainant: Really? The Juice literally gets an email like this once a month! Hey lady – stop wasting the cop’s time!

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Would you believe it if The Juice told you a woman was busted for noisy sex? Well, he is. As reported in The Northern Echo:

A woman pleaded guilty today to breaching a sex Asbo [anti-social behavior order] three times.

Caroline Cartwright, 48, and her husband Steve were hit with a noise abatement notice after neighbours, the local postman, and a woman taking her child to school complained about their noisy lovemaking.

However, when Cartwright was convicted of breaching the notice, magistrates made her the subject of an anti-social behaviour order as well.

Cartwright pleaded guilty at Newcastle Crown Court today to breaching the Asbo three times in April 2009.

Earlier this year Cartwright appealed against her conviction for breaching the noise abatement notice and the issuing of the Asbo, which bans the couple from “shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance”.

She used Article 8 of the Human Rights Act to argue she had a right to “respect for her private and family life”.

Jobless Cartwright, who lost her appeal against the order, also claimed that she could not help making the loud noise during sex with her husband.

Really? Screaming during sex is not a basic human right? What is wrong with people?

The hearing heard that the Cartwrights’ nightly sex sessions at their home in Hall Road, Concord, Washington, Tyne and Wear, were making their neighbours lives hell.

Their lovemaking was described as “murder” and “unnatural” and drowned out their neighbours’ televisions.

Neighbours said the Cartwrights’ sex sessions would usually start around midnight and last for two or three hours, every night of the week.

That there is a lot of sex.

Specialist equipment installed in a neighbour’s flat by Sunderland City Council recorded noise levels of between 30 to 40 decibels, with the highest being 47 decibels.

Giving evidence Cartwright said she was unable to control the noise she made during sex.

“I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal. I didn’t understand where they were coming from,” she said.

“I have tried to minimise the situation by having sex in the morning – not at night – so the noise was not waking anybody. I maybe sympathetic to it but it is not something I am doing on purpose.”

Breaching an Asbo carries a maximum sentence of five years imprisonment but Judge Beatrice Bolton said Cartwright, who now lives in a bail hostel, would not face jail.

She adjourned the case until next year for sentencing and released Cartwright on bail.

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Judges can do many things to end up facing discipline. They can skip out on work too much. They can treat parties poorly. They can disrespect lawyers who appear before them. Or, as a Pennsylvania disciplinary court found regarding Allentown District Judge Maryesther Merlo, all of the above, per The Morning Call.

Regarding attendance:

Merlo had a habit of calling out of work when dozens of hearings were scheduled and litigants, police and attorneys were assembled in her courtroom, her staff testified. According to the decision, Merlo missed 116 days of work from September 2007 to December 2009.

“This is not to mention that on the days when [Merlo] did come to work, she was never on time — she was always late,” the court added.

Former Lehigh County President Judge William H. Platt and Court Administrator Gordon Roberts testified their efforts to address her work habits fell on deaf ears. The disciplinary court noted Merlo’s explanation that her absences were excused because she never took vacation was belied by the fact she did take 49 days of vacation during the period at issue.

Excellent work habits. How did she treat parties and witnesses?

In one case, Merlo described a young man who appeared in court with his mother on a traffic offense as “a dog who needs to be retrained.” In another case, she ordered deputy sheriffs to arrest a woman who had been counseled by her lawyer not to testify to avoid incriminating herself, according to the decision.

[There was also testimony about] bizarre courtroom behavior, including an episode in which she ordered a defendant to call himself “scumbag.”

And the court examined Merlo’s conduct in 10 cases and found six in which her demeanor constituted a violation of the rules of conduct. Witnesses testified Merlo’s behavior was often demeaning, intimidating and offensive.

Okay. But what about Judge Merlo’s side of the story?

In each of the six cases, the court found the witnesses who complained about Merlo’s behavior to be more credible than the judge.

Doh! That hurts.

The state disciplinary court examined Merlo’s demeanor during truancy hearings, noting her practice of continuing cases to give the kids “a second chance” interfered with the district’s efforts to discipline students with attendance problems. Her own tardiness set a poor example for the students, the court noted.

Suzette Arcelay, a school counselor, testified Merlo’s behavior was often rude and erratic, including an episode in which Merlo told her to “shut up.”

Judge Merlo has the option of appealing the findings. You can read more here.

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If everyone just went about their business, we’d all be better off. But the cops would sure be bored. No worries about being bored for some cops in Indiana, as reported by The Chicago Tribune:

The still-unidentified man was discovered wandering along the [Interstate 65] just south of U.S. Highway 30 at about 2:30 p.m. “marching like a drum major” while holding the 35-inch [samurai] sword, state police said in a news release.

The shirtless man moved the sword rhythmically like a baton until Master Trooper Rick Hudson approached, officials said. The man swung defensively at Hudson, but dropped the sword when Hudson ordered him to, authorities said.

So far, so good …

Authorities said the suspect then tried to get into the 2010 Chevrolet SUV until he was ordered to the ground at gunpoint and Merrillville police took him into custody.

Nice job, pal. Just got yourself some more charges.

Once in custody, the man gave authorities different names and addresses, but told Lake County Jail officials that he was “Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

The charges?

Though his identity hadn’t been verified, authorities charged the man with attempted car jacking, resisting law enforcement and possession of marijuana.

You’ll find the source here.

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Everyone, and I mean everyone, has had a haircut they have been unhappy with. But, unlike with virtually every other problem, this one actually does go away with time. A man in Norway couldn’t wait. So, as reported at newsenglish.no:

A man in Drammen was so unhappy with his new haircut that he called police, demanding assistance because he didn’t want to leave the hair salon.

News bureau NTB reported that according to the Søndre Buskerud Police District’s logs, the man claimed that the hairdresser had done such a bad job that he couldn’t go outside without a cap. He apparently didn’t have one.

He also had complained about the result of his haircut to the salon’s proprietor, but was told it was too late to do anything about it.

If only the owner had told him he could take care of it … and then shaved him bald!

The police receiving his call for help told him they had many duties in the course of a day, and responded to many calls, but his would not be one of them.

Here’s the source.