Squeezed on:

good%20grade%20better%20grades%20A%2B%20paper%20report.gif

The old saw remains true: if it’s sounds too good to be true, it is. So how did former high school secretary Caroline McNeal allegedly assure that her daughter increased her grades and SAT scores? Per The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

The first clue that something was amiss came when a high school guidance office employee in fall 2007 noticed that the SAT college entrance exam score in the school computer for Ms. McNeal’s daughter was higher than the one sent by the College Board, 1730 vs. 1370.

Further investigation showed the girl’s grades had been altered about 193 times in 24 courses between May 30, 2006 and July 12, 2007, covering school years from 2003-04 through 2006-07.

Many of the changes boosted grades that were already in the 90s, such as changing an accelerated social studies term grade from 94 to 95 and a family and consumer sciences final grade from 98 to 100.

In some cases, the increase was significant, such as raising an exam grade in advanced algebra from 69 to 94.

But that’s not all. She’s also charged with reducing the grades of two other girls!

The girls had higher class ranks than Ms. McNeal’s daughter did before the grades were altered.

According to the affidavit, the grades of the two girls were changed by a couple of percentage points, such as reducing one’s advanced algebra grade for one term from 96 to 94 and the other’s accelerated English grade for a term from 96 to 93.

All very uncool, and felonious.

[Ms. McNeal] was charged with 29 counts of unlawful use of a computer and 29 counts of tampering with public records, all third-degree felonies.

Click here to read more.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

Bank%20Robbery.jpg

Rule number one for a bank robber preparing a note for the teller: make it legible!

“Hokc ogll sht es wlll ikkk you! Now!”

I totally made that up. In her defense, Stephanie Martin’s note probably wasn’t that bad. Here’s what happened, as reported by kptv.com in Oregon:

Hillsboro police said Stephanie Martin walked into a Wells Fargo bank in Hillsboro and handed the teller a note that read, “Need $300 or I’ll kill you. I’m serious.”

The teller told Martin she couldn’t read the handwriting, police said. Martin then walked to a counter and re-wrote the note on a bank slip, according to Lt. Mike Rouches, of the Hillsboro Police Department.

The teller then hit the silent alarm and the bank’s manager asked how he could help Martin, Rouches said.

Note, what note?

Martin then said she wanted to open an account with the bank, according to officers.

They bought it, right?

Police and FBI agents arrived at the scene and arrested Martin

Since EVERYBODY knows about silent alarms, dye packs, etc., there is only one possible explanation: drugs.

… police determined [Martin] was under the influence of drugs …

Doh!

Squeezed on:

right%20to%20remain%20silent%20fifth%205th%20amendment%20constitution.jpg

Paul Ewing was certainly a stand-up guy to admit killing his neighbor’s plants with Roundup (in what has to be a unique way – see below). But was it really necessary to tell the police why he was mad at his neighbor? From The Bradenton Herald:

To get back at his neighbor for owing him money, Paul Ewing resorted to a series of drive-bys toting a water gun filled with Roundup weed killer, the Bradenton Police Department reports.

He told investigators that he was upset because his neighbor owed him more than $200 for drugs.

Brilliant!

The 35-year-old, who lives in the 100 block of 10th Street West, confessed to his actions after he was pulled over Thursday for driving with a suspended license.

In the front yard, Ewing gunned down flowers and bushes, the report stated. To get to the plants in the backyard, he filled water balloons with the weed killer and tossed them onto his neighbors property. Ewing estimated the landscaping damage to be about $250.

The Bradenton Police Department had been investigating the incidents that began May 1 and lasted until July 1.

Ewing was released from Manatee County jail Thursday after posting a $500 bond. He was charged with criminal mischief with property damage.

Here’s the source.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

You might think that the government official who represents the Motor Accidents Authority, and is also the Education Minister for over 1 million kids in New South Wales, Australia, biked to work to set a good example. You would be wrong. Minister John Della Bosca was riding his bicycle to work because he received seven speeding tickets, from the same camera, in the same place. So his driver’s license has was suspended. Here he is!

minister%20della%20bosca%20bicycle%20cycling.jpg

Squeezed on:

cat%20shooting%20gun%20kitten%20kitty%20shot%20cute.jpg

See if you can follow this. So this lady’s cat illegally (and stupidly) goes into the neighbor’s yard. Why was it stupid? Because a pit bull resides there. Things got ugly, and the pair ended up under a neighbor’s mobile home. Dog owner’s sister tries to get cat out and, for her services, cat bites her hand. Dog owner then shoots the cat! Why? To protect herself, her sister, and the dog, from … the cat. According to the cat’s owner, the cat was just trying to get away from the dog [which wouldn’t have been an issue if it wasn’t illegally outside!]
Everyone got charged in this one. Dog owner was charged with animal cruelty (a felony) and discharging a firearm in public (a misdemeanor – sorry PETA, but shouldn’t those charges be reversed?). Cat owner was cited for letting her cat loose, and improper vaccination documentation. The Juice suspects we’ve not heard the last of this. For the full story in The Lakeland Ledger, click here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

bad%20Doctor.jpg

It’s always a good idea to check your doctor out online before your first visit. Had some of Dr. George Korol’s patients done so, they probably would have asked to see another doctor. As reported in The Edmonton Journal:

A Winnipeg doctor who previously lost his U.S. medical licence for violent criminal behaviour has been stripped of his ability to practise medicine in Manitoba …

First question [rhetorical]: How did he ever get a license in Manitoba?

The provincial body that regulates doctors revoked Dr. George Korol’s medical licence and registration at a discipline hearing on Aug. 31, according to new documents posted on the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Manitoba’s website this week.

Korol was suspended in February 2009 after he was arrested on assault charges and accused of writing fake prescriptions.

A college investigation found Korol had an intimate sexual relationship with a female patient, “who was in a highly vulnerable psychological state and under financial stress.”

So so low. How did he get the drugs for the vulnerable female patient?

Regulators discovered Korol wrote prescriptions for drugs in his wife’s name which he gave to the female patient. He also obtained blood and cervical swabs from the patient which were submitted for testing under a different name, and prescribed antipsychotic drugs under his wife’s name so he could use the drugs himself.

Korol “misled and failed to fully co-operate” with the investigation, and initially denied several of the improper activities. The investigation found Korol failed to inform the college he had been arrested and charged for domestic violence, uttering threats and possessing a weapon.

Hey college, nice background check. Way to protect your patients.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

Cartman%20Cop%20silly%20police%20officer%20stupid%20wacky.jpg

Or else what? If you don’t like The Juice on Facebook, and/or follow him on Twitter (@LegalJuice), expect a visit from Officer Cartman. And you don’t want to make Eric angry. Just ask Scott Tenorman what can happen when Eric gets angry. (Warning: If you really like chili, you won’t like how this episode ends.)

Squeezed on:

plane%20airplane.gif

So this woman is on a Delta flight that lands at Logan International Airport in Boston. As she would make sure everyone knows, she is FAMOUS! As reported in The Boston Globe:

The general manager of WHDH Channel 7 was arrested after an allegedly drunken, obscenity-laced tirade at Logan International Airport in which she threatened to call a news crew and put a state trooper “on TV and ruin [his] life,” according to a police report.

Randi Goldklank flailed her arms and screamed at State Police when they took her into custody after her Delta flight landed Sunday night, according to the report. She had to be helped off the plane by two crew members, according to the report, and struck a trooper in the chest, breaking the prescription glasses in his pocket.

How much did she have to drink?

… she was overheard by police telling medical personnel that she had had “about three dozen drinks.” Goldklank smelled of alcohol and was so intoxicated that police had difficulty booking her, the report stated

Holy Moses! Here are a few of her comments:

“I’m a big shot in Boston and I’ll have your [expletive] jobs.”

“You think you’re a [expletive] tough guy, just you watch and see what the [expletive] happens to you when I get out of here.”

You know I don’t delete expletives, but “The Globe redacted the obscenities …” Something changed because, after being so belligerent, Ms. Goldklank told one of the troopers:

‘You think I’m cute and I think you’re cute, just drive me home.’

Check out her defense:

Goldklank defended her behavior to the Boston Herald Monday night and told the paper she was inappropriately touched by a male passenger seated beside her.

But …

There was no mention of the male passenger in the State Police report. Trooper Eric Benson, a department spokesman, said this morning that “there has been no complaint made to the State Police alleging any such improper contact.”

Ms. Goldklank was put on administrative leave.

Squeezed on:

censorship%20fight%20sucks%20funny%20poster%20sign.jpg

Remember that post about the woman who refused to return the “obscene” library book she checked out? (Hint: It was yesterday’s post.) So do you think she returned the book, or was sent to jail? Wrong. Neither. The city (Lewiston, Maine) decided not to pursue the matter any further. Why? As reported in The Sun Journal:

[City Administrator Jim] Bennett .. said that proceeding with that kind of legal action [having Ms. Karkos put in jail] would have accomplished nothing. Putting the matter to rest, he said, is in the best interest of the city. It saves money that would need to be spent to pursue the case in court, he said, and will keep Lewiston from becoming the epicenter of the debate over decency in publications.

Ms. Karkos was pleased, no? No.

Karkos said she would have been happy to see it go further. By dismissing the matter, she said, the city is trying to make the issue go away.

“They didn’t do me any favors,” Karkos said Friday night. “They knew what they were doing. They were protecting themselves.”

Will she pay the $100 fine imposed by the Court? You can read more here.

Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

censorship%20pin%20button%20sign.jpg Maine resident JoAn Karkos said she’ll take jail. And it’s not because she likes the book, “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health.” It’s because “she claims [it] violates the city’s obscenity ordinance,” per The Sun Journal. What she’s doing is just “civil disobedience.” It’s not working.

After Karkos’ actions were picked up by the media, the library received eight copies of the sexual education book from people around the country, including parents and concerned educators, [Lewiston Public Library Director Rick] Speer said.

So, after she admitted to the Judge that she had the book, but wouldn’t turn it over, what did the Judge do? She gave Karkos a few days to turn it over – after which she will face contempt of court charges.