Like everyone else (except the perps), The Juice is pleased when drunk drivers make things easy for the fuzz. As reported by The Beacon-News (Illinois):
A 43-year-old Oswego woman was charged with drunken driving after police responded to calls about a woman throwing up out of her car at 6:40 p.m. Monday near Ashlawn Avenue and Circle Drive West, Oswego police said. Officers found the car driving in the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street. Tessy Callas, of the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street, Oswego, was also charged with illegal transportation of liquor, police said.Other than vomiting, what else do drunk people do? Here's a hint: zzzzzzzzzz.
Selina Nieto, 33, of the 200 block of Abbeywood Lane, North Aurora, was charged with drunken driving last week after police were called for a woman asleep at the gas pumps in the 500 block of Montgomery Road, police said Monday.
Having been ticketed for almost every imaginable violation of the traffic code (parking too close to an intersection, parking too close to an alley, parking too far from the curb, parking at a broken meter [under prior law], along with all the typical violations), the Juice no longer parks illegally. Back in the day, though, say, when he was 28, like Englishman Michael Raphel, he would park just about anywhere.
It would not be a stretch to assume that Mr. Raphel's carefree parking days are behind him too. Why? Because the police blew up his illegally parked car! As reported by The Telegraph:
Michael Raphel, 28, left his £18,000 red Honda Civic Type R on double yellow lines less than a quarter of a mile from Number 10.
But, fearing a potential terrorist attack, the Metropolitan Police carried out two controlled explosions after CCTV footage showed him running from the parked vehicle.
The force of the blast blew the doors off and smashed the windows, leaving the car wrecked.£18,000! ($30,000 US!) Alright, pal, what were you really doing there?
... visiting London to celebrate a friend's birthday ...How did Mr. Raphel react?
''We have laughed about it a bit now but I'm bit gutted to be honest.
''I know in this day and age they have to be suspicious but I didn't feel this was warranted.
''I wasn't treated badly, but they could've been a bit more tactful.
''The car was registered to me, I'm sure there are ways they could have contacted me if they had really tried to.''Agreed. Here's the source.
If you think it's obvious that someone pretending to be blind would know better than to drive, you would be wrong. As reported by ANSA:
An Italian man claiming benefit for blindness was caught driving a car and arrested Monday.
The unnamed man, 67, had claimed some 60,000 euros [$86,000 US] in benefits since 2003, tax police said.
The man was stopped at a spot check near Naples and countersigned a fine for not having his license on him, without realizing he was on a police database of people suspected of invalidity fraud.A careless criminal makes for easy police work. Here's the source.
If you want to be sure you'll be caught and convicted, just commit the crime in a courtroom, in front of the judge. As reported by y100.com:
A Broward woman is hospitalized with a broken nose and broken bones in her cheek after she's allegedly attacked by her husband in divorce court on Friday.
28-year-old Paul Gonzalez of Fort Lauderdale walked out of the hearing, then returned and started punching 23 year old Catherine Ann Scott-Gonzalez, 23, in front of the judge and lawyers.That's a lot of anger right there. And even after the attack ...
BSO [Broward Sheriff's Office] says Gonzalez refused to put his hands out to be cuffed so they tasered the ex-Marine - twice.
He's charged with felony battery, domestic violence and resisting arrest .Here's the source.
If you're serving 15 years in prison, how better to spend your time than trying to get yourself out of prison? This gent came up with an interesting theory that, though it hasn't yet succeeded, it at least passed one court's smell test. As reported in The South Florida Sun-Sentinel:
During trial, the judge's German shepherd whined, barked and put his paws up on the swinging door between her and the rest of the courtroom, a defendant said in his appeal for a new trial.So?
Philip Leigh, 52, argued that because his legs were shackled, the jury may have thought the dog was there to protect Broward Circuit Judge Susan Lebow.
Leigh, now serving a 15-year sentence in a Lake City prison for cocaine trafficking, says his ... attorney should have objected to the shackles and the shepherd during the July 2005 trial.
The Fourth District Court of Appeal on Wednesday [sent] the case back for a hearing. There may still be a new trial, or not.Who would've thought it'd get that far? Here's the source.
North Pole, Alaska (really) resident Wyatt Lewis got an unusual DUI. As reported by the Anchorage Daily News, here's how fellow North Pole resident Anne Sterle described it:
"I was woken at about 1 in the morning by hearing a lawn mower outside my window," Sterle said. "And it scared the heck out of me, because my husband was out of town.
"The first thing that went through my mind was someone was stealing our mower. And then I thought, wait a minute, we don't have a riding mower."Newman! This was bad news for Mr. Lewis, as Ms. Sterle then called 911. What happened when the police arrived?
There was a chase, reaching speeds up to 5 mph.
The trooper followed Lewis for about 200 yards, according to a report in the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner. The trooper turned on his lights and siren. Lewis kept on mowing.
The trooper "was too embarrassed to call it a pursuit over the airwaves," spokeswoman Megan Peters said.Mr. Lewis, coming in at over twice the legal limit, was charged with driving under the influence and failing to stop at the direction of a peace officer. Here's the source.
Pranks are funny. But really, the only person who can prank a cop is ... another cop. Tell it to these folks in Houston. As reported by khou.com ...
Harris County deputies said they were initially called to a home in the 13600 block of Treebank Thursday night after reports of a domestic disturbance.
The deputies said they spoke with a couple who was in the home, resolved the situation and left.
But then, around 7 a.m. Friday, deputies received another call from the home.
When officers responded, they said they found the front door cracked open, so they went inside.You might not want to ...
... as they pushed the door open, a bucket fell on one of the deputies, and the others were splashed with liquid.Alright, where are ya?!
The deputies called for backup, explaining that a bucket full of an unknown substance had fallen on them, and they were unsure if there were other traps in the home.
Other deputies and a bomb squad swarmed the scene. At one point, deputies drew their guns and surrounded the home. The bomb squad checked the home for other traps, but found none.Whoa there. So what happened after all that?
In the end, though, deputies determined that the bucket was just full of water. No one was injured.And the perps?
The occupants of the home were nowhere to be found, and no arrests were made.Here's the source.
How is it possible for a 32-year-old man to get busted for underage drinking? Here's how: Commit the crime [allegedly] when you are underage, then let a few years go by. Doh! As reported by The Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):
Patrolman Tim McGuire stopped on Route 513 by the Route 78 interchange to help with a disabled vehicle Monday around 7:30 p.m.Ummm ... Thanks Officer, but I'm good?
A computer check on the license of driver Philip Rowles, of Ridley Park, Pa., turned up two arrest warrants issued by Camden City Municipal Court and Woolwich Joint Court in Gloucester County, police said. One warrant was for failing to appear on a previous traffic summons for driving without insurance, the other for possession of alcohol by a person while under the legal age.Once again reinforcing the notion that, if you just ignore your troubles, they'll go away! Poof! Here's the source.