Legal Juice

This story is truly wacky. First, you have a Proctor, Minnesota man who took a La-Z-Boy chair and put a lawnmower motor in it, and a steering wheel. Per the Duluth News Tribune, "It has a stereo, cup holders and other custom options, including different power levels." All tricked out and no place to go? Not exactly. Dennis LeRoy Anderson (62!) took his chair out on the town. And got lit. Then he took to the streets - and crashed into a parked car! How drunk was he? Really, really drunk (.29). Oh, and ...

He has one prior DWI conviction.

Doh! In fairness, I should mention that Mr. Anderson offered an explanation for the accident:

Anderson claimed he was driving the chair fine until a woman jumped on it and knocked the chair off course.

Curse you woman! You know the crime (he pleaded guilty). The time?

Judge Heather Sweetland sentenced Anderson to 180 days in the St. Louis County Jail or at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center and fined him $2,000 plus court fees. She stayed the jail time and one-half of the fine for two years of supervised probation. As conditions of his probation, Anderson must submit to a chemical dependency assessment, follow all recommendations, abstain from alcohol and unprescribed drugs, be subject to random testing and undergo 30 days of electronic monitoring.

Here's the source.

It should go without saying that every kid ought to hear "the talk" from his parents. But a 42-year-old British dad apparently wanted to go the extra mile for his 14-year-old son - by hooking him up (sorry) with a prostitute! Alas, the woman dad approached was ... a cop! And, of course, now dad is ashamed.

The father's barrister Matthew Smith said: "There is a thorough sense of shame the defendant feels.

Said the Judge, per the BBC News:

What you were doing that night was to expose your 14-year-old son to a prostitute because you didn't know she was a police officer.

You have a duty of care to your son and that is to look after his moral welfare not, as you might think, to break him into the ways of sex through a prostitute.

So dad pleaded guilty to attempting to solicit a woman to have sex with a minor. Jail time?

Judge Jonathan Teare said he was not sending the father to prison because of his previous excellent character and that he believed he did not mean any harm to his son.

Mr. Smith added that the boy would be allowed to continue to live with his father.

But ...

[dad] will be placed on the sex offenders register for five years.

Go figure. A man of "previous excellent character" who retains custody of his son is put on the sex offenders registry? Huh? Here's the source.

Just what was the condition imposed by Judge Tom Broadmore for granting bail to Mr. Ben Hana (who was charged with cannabis possession and obscene exposure)?

That he wear underwear.

For real. Per The Dominion Post, it seems that Mr. Hana is "... well known around Wellington [New Zealand] as Blanket Man." Unfortunately, that's apparently all he wears - a blanket. As his lawyer described it ...

"He wears high-risk clothing. It's a way of life rather than a deliberate attempt at lewdness."

"High-risk." Nice touch. What did the Judge think?

Judge Tom Broadmore was sceptical of Ms Dixon's explanation: "I was walking down Courtenay Place and I'm sure he was exposing his genitals. It's just not something the public should have to tolerate."

Counselor?

Ms Dixon suggested making the wearing of underwear a bail condition as a "precautionary measure".

Done? Done.

The judge agreed to bail on condition that Hana not enter licensed premises, other than supermarkets, not drink alcohol and that he wear underpants or boxer shorts while in public.

Posted by John Mesirow | Permalink | Email This Post

Posted In: Best Of , Say What? , Yikes

Washington DC Injury Lawyer John B. Mesirow represents injured accident victims in Washington DC, Maryland and Northern Virginia. His practice includes Car Accidents, Bike Accidents, Boating Accidents, Brain Injury cases, Construction Accidents, Dog Bite cases, Medical Malpractice, Motorcycle Accidents, Trucking Accidents and Wrongful Death cases. John Mesirow was named a "Top Lawyer" by Washingtonian magazine and aggressively represents his clients. You can contact him online or by phone at 866-463-0303 or 202-463-0303.

| Share

If you're thinking this Crestview, Florida woman hid the shoes on her person, you're right. In her coat? Nope. Pants? Nope ... As reported by NWFDailyNews.com:

A Nov. 29 video surveillance showed the woman take clothing and pass them to the man, according to an arrest report from the Crestview Police Department. The man rolled each item and passed them back to the woman.

The woman hid a pair of shoes under her breasts. She hid the rest of the items in her purse.

Really? Under her breasts? Those were either some really small shoes or ...

The man was also seen selecting items, rolling them and handing them to the woman. He concealed one pair of pants inside his pants.

Quite the pair, no?

The couple was caught outside of the store and escorted to the back until police arrived. With an officer as a witness, the loss prevention officer asked the couple to return the items they took.

They were each charged with retail theft, a misdemeanor.

Click here for the source.

You did. You just jacked that little girl's Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida's nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.

How'd they get caught?

Notified of the theft by an in-law, the victim offered to not go to the police if the thief would return the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep within 24 hours.

A nice offer but ...

The Barbie Power Wheel Jeep had already been sold, according to the police report.

So ...

The victim went to the police.

Here's the source.

Is it just me, or does "Friday" evoke positive thoughts for you too? For most folks, it's the end of the work week, and the beginning of the weekend. Well sir, an Italian court took a different view of "Friday." As reported by the BBC News:

Italy's top court has banned a couple from naming their son Venerdi (Friday), saying such a "ridiculous" name could expose the boy to mockery.

That's not all, though.

The judges also ordered that the boy be renamed Gregorio - after the saint's day on which he was born.

What the hell is going on in Italy? Do you think the parent should appeal? This was the appeal!

The Cassation Court upheld earlier rulings by lower courts that Friday was too reminiscent of the name of Robinson Crusoe's native servant in the classic shipwreck novel.

And what's up with my Italian brethren?

Gian Ettore Gassani of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers backed the ruling.

Not cool. Here's the source.

You can never be sure how someone is going to handle being insulted. No doubt this gent's insulting days are over. As reported in The Daily Herald (Everett, Washington), according to court papers:

[Dallas Amber] Smith [18] and others were gathered at her ex-boyfriend’s home south of Monroe, watching a movie and drinking.

She boasted to party-goers that she was good at doing back flips and that she could do one off anything, court papers said.

A man, 19, challenged her to do a flip off the deck. Smith took off her shoes and attempted the maneuver. She couldn’t do it. That’s when the man laughed at her and told her that her feet smelled, [deputy prosecutor] Albert wrote.

Smith started to playfully wrestle with the man, rubbing her socks in his face. She started hitting him. After several seconds, he pushed her away, Albert wrote.

It's a little weird, right? Check this out.

She grabbed her coat, picked up a steak knife and headed for the door. On the way, Smith walked up to the man and stabbed him in the back, court papers said.

The man and others called 911. A sheriff’s deputy found the man sitting on porch with the knife sticking out of his back, the blade buried a few inches in. His lung had collapsed from the stabbing.

Sticking out of his back! Someone is a wee bit oversensitive. The prognosis?

The man is expected to recover from the injury.

Whew. What did Ms. Smith have to say for her feet ... er, herself?

Police arrested Smith at her parents’ home. She denied knowing about any stabbing and declined to speak with investigators.

Perhaps it's a little late for the denial ...

A witness told police that Smith came to his house that night and told him that she had hurt someone and she was in trouble. She told him someone had taunted her.

Doh! Here's the source.

Tired of the same old billboards? You wouldn't be, if you were in Sweden. Some Swedish legislators were upset by mobile billboard ads for strip joints. Per The Local:

“It’s degrading to continually be confronted with cars whose main purpose is to drive around Stockholm’s streets in the evenings – with naked women as the focal point – serving as advertisements for strip clubs,” wrote Sylvia Lindgren and Veronica Palm ....

“Motor-borne advertisements for strip clubs are definitely not in line with an egalitarian view of people. It’s a degrading view of women and sends the wrong signals, especially to children, young people, tourists, and others who find themselves in the public spaces of our streets and city squares.”

So they "introduced a motion that would have required permits for vehicles used to tow billboards through city streets." What do you think? Did it pass? Nope. And ...

As a result, Stockholm’s strip clubs are free to continue sending trucks and trailers rolling down the city’s streets featuring scantily clad women in seductive poses in an attempt to lure customers to their clubs.

The floodgates are open! Look for more scantily clad women, and an uptick in car accidents ...

Most drunk people give themselves away. It's only a questions of whether or not anyone takes note. Fortunately for this lady's 3 kids, someone took note, and called the cops. What was the first indication that she overindulged? She was driving down the road at 10 mph with her right front tire out of air. Oh, and she was weaving. And just in case that's not enough evidence, as reported by www.cleveland.com, here's what the woman said when the cops pulled her over:

“I need to put gas in my tire.”

Case closed. (Can you believe she failed field sobriety tests?) Here's the source.

If this dude decides to remain in the relationship, he would be well-advised to have a pack of cigarettes on hand at all times, and be willing to share them. As reported by The Morning Call (Allentown):

Bethlehem police said a woman went on a rampage Monday night when her boyfriend denied her a cigarette and attacked him with a steak knife.

Linda Sellers, 55, is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, simple assault, reckless endangerment, terroristic threats, harassment and possessing an instrument of crime. Sellers, of 714 Hayes St., is in Northampton County Prison under $750,000 bail.

Yikes. Here's the official police version:

Officers were called to the home for a report of a woman yelling. Sellers answered the door and said, "Oh, good. It's the (expletive) police!"

Police said Sellers pointed to Camilleri, who was sitting on the couch holding a steak knife he had wrestled away from her, and told the officer she was going to kill him.

Camilleri told police he was sleeping on the couch when Sellers awoke him and asked for a cigarette. When he told her to buy her own, police said Sellers threw items around the apartment and overturned a glass coffee table.

Sellers went into the kitchen, grabbed a steak knife and attacked Camilleri, police said. He suffered three cuts on the top of his head and was treated and released from St. Luke's Hospital-Fountain Hill, police said.

Here's the source.

Of all the reasons to fire somebody, this has got to be among the most idiotic. As reported by China Daily:

Two women have been fired from their jobs for refusing to drink at a company party.

No doubt they would have been fired had they gotten shitfaced. Maybe each employee should get a breathalyzer, along with guidelines for the acceptable BAC range...

He, an executive manager of an auto parts company in Hanyang, and her assistant refused to drink alcohol when their boss made a toast at their company's New Year party.

They were fired the next day on grounds of incompetence.

"This is not fair at all," He, who joined the company just a month back, fumed after receiving her termination letter.

Remember the "wet bandits" from the movie "Home Alone"? Their m.o. was to flood a house after burglarizing it. So, caught for one, caught for them all. While this Rhode Island gent did not flood any houses, he had a very revealing clue in his pocket. As reported by WPRI (Pawtucked, Rhode Island):

Police said MCU detectives arrested Jimmy Honeycutt and his girlfriend Stephanie McDole Wednesday.

Detectives pulled over the pair in the city because their car matched the description of a vehicle wanted in connection with a similar robbery at a Getty gas station the day before in Attleboro.

Wait for it ...

Major Martins of the Pawtucket Police Department says Honeycutt was found with evidence linking him to the robberies. In his pocket police discovered torn pages from a phone book, with asterisks next to some of the businesses robbed this month.

Boom! It doesn't get much easier than that.

Police said during two of the earlier robberies, the suspect used a syringe to threaten the clerks.

The charges?

Honeycutt is charged with five counts of first-degree robbery. McDole is charged with two counts of first-degree robbery.

Click here for the source, including a video.

[Sorry if this disappoints anyone, but that there is a costume.]

So wet t-shirt contests might not be your thing, but really, is it something you want to spend time prosecuting? In Mason City, Iowa, that would be a "yes," as reported by RadioIowa.com.

A magistrate court jury in Cerro Gordo County has found the owner of a Clear Lake tavern not guilty of violating that community's adult entertainment ordinance. The six-member panel returned the verdict after Alan Slater was charged last June after allegedly holding a wet t-shirt contest at The Marina.

Slater testified that he was planning to hold a wet t-shirt contest at the bar, but then backed out after thinking that he'd receive a citation from the city. He said he then let the public host the contest at the bar and directed his staff to keep things within the law.

Clever man, that Mr. Slater.

Why is this not your average dog bite case? Well, because a man bit a dog. And not just any dog, but a police dog. Yikes. As reported by NBCConnecticut.com:

West Haven officer Scott Bloom was on patrol with his K-9, Onyx, near the Rite Aid on Elm Street early Thursday morning, when he noticed Roderick Lewis walking toward him.

Lewis yelled out "I need a bag of dust," referring to Angel Dust, according to police.

That's when things went south, for all parties concerned.

Lewis, 23, walked toward the officer and reached into his waistband. The officer grabbed Lewis' arms and told him to stop. That's when Lewis punched officer Bloom in the face, according to police.

Woof, woof! [Dog-to-English translation: Oh no you din't!]

Onyx, the police dog, jumped from Bloom's cruiser and attacked the suspect, latching onto his leg, according to police.

But then Lewis did his own chomping, biting into the dog's side, police said. Lewis didn't let go until the officer had to physically pull him off the dog, police said.

The charges?

... assault on a police officer, disorderly conduct and cruelty to animals.

Here's the source, which includes a mug shot.

Does marinating a cat really enhance the flavor? Hey, don't shoot the messenger. (And please, PETA folks, no more emails. The Juice truly likes animals, especially cats.) Mr. Gary Korkuc was caught literally marinating his cat. Here's the story, as reported by www.buffalonews.com:

Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.

They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

Very uncool. But why?

Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered.

... he [also] told them he was going to cook Navarro. But they say Korkuc also complained that the neutered male cat got pregnant after he was spayed.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] A pregnant male cat? Anyway, it looks like Navarro will be fine, as he was cleaned up and is awaiting adoption. And Mr. Korkuc?

[He] was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn't listed.

Think he's glad he opted for an unlisted number?

After 6 years of litigation, everything else was settled in this divorce, which began just 4 months after the birth of the child at the heart of the controversy. Just what is the controversy? Whether the birth mother can prohibit her daughter's stepmother from calling the stepmother "Mum" or a variation thereof. Really. This was the only issue left for a Judge in Australia to decide. Per the Australian:

The woman, who cannot be named, argued that her ex-husband was deliberately undermining her role as their child's mother, by encouraging his new wife to answer to the terms "Mum" and "Mummy" and "Mummy-D" (D being the first letter of the stepmother's first name).

Biological mum's argument:

... the stepmother should not be permitted to refer to herself "as a motherly figure".

Biological dad?

By consent, her ex-husband agreed that his new wife should not be "Mum or "Mummy" but thought "Mummy-D" was fine.

Sounds like a reasonable compromise. Mum?

Ms Klement [mum] was "adamant that the child should only call her Mum" or any variation of "Mum".

Judge, please, put an end to this.

The court declined to make an order that the child not refer to her stepmother as "Mummy-D" in part because the judge was concerned that such an order would lead to further litigation "where it would be up to the court to determine whether the father had breached the order in relation to encouraging the child to use the term Mummy-D".

Well done, sir. Here's the source.

The public library is a terrific place for a 92-year-old man to try to ... hook up? So thought Florida resident Herbert Johnson. The library's employees were not flattered. Per nbcmiami.com:

Stuart resident Herbert Johnson, 92, has been ordered to stay out of Martin County public libraries after waging an amorous campaign toward female employees.

His offensive included, for one librarian in particular, a letter left on the front desk "containing sexually explicit language stating what (he) wanted to do to" her.

Authorities say Johnson also sent the woman "innapropriate" gifts and letters, which she either refused or destroyed. A second employee reported Johnson made unwanted advances toward her, as well.

You're really not going to tell us what the "inappropriate" gifts were? Not cool.

A Martin County deputy visited Johnson at home, handing him a trespass warning for all county libraries.

Banned! Here's the source.

Actually, Dayton, Ohio resident Tony Henderson only thought the woman he propositioned was a prostitute. Unfortunately for him, she was a police officer. So what happened that fateful night in April 2006? As reported by the Court of Appeals of Ohio, Dayton Police officer Dyan Briggs was working as a prostitution decoy. She testified that

Mr. Henderson asked me if I was working, to which I replied I was. Mr. Henderson then stated, come on, and motions for me to follow him back across the street ... And I said what do you want. And he said I want to make love. And I said, okay, you want to have sex. What do I get. He said what do you get. I said, yeah, what do I get.

A fair question, but it raised a red flag for Mr. Henderson.

"He's like man, you sound like a cop. [Walk away, dude. Walk away.] I was like I'm not a cop. And he's like, well, I got some candy. [Doh!] And I said you have candy. And he said, yeah, I got candy. And I said what kind of candy do you have. He said bubble gum. I said what flavor. He said bubble gum. I said is it grape or what. And he said it's strawberry. I said is it sugarless.

Mr. Henderson apparently grew tired of the chit-chat.

"And he's like, fuck you. And I said, you offered me candy. And at that point Detective St. Clair drove up in his car and I believe he placed Mr. Henderson in a set of handcuffs."

Snap! Busted for soliciting a prostitute by offering a stick of gum! Fast forward: Mr. Henderson is before a Judge, and arresting officer Raymond St. Clair testifies:

I asked Mr. Henderson why he asked her, being Officer Briggs, for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because she's a whore. And I asked why did you offer her bubble gum for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because I have no money."

Click here to find out the judge's decision.

Continue reading "What Happens If You Offer Gum To A Prostitute?" »

Sure, everyone is forgetful occasionally. But some things you just can't forget. Like that you left your baby in the car ... for 40 minutes. It happened in Colorado Springs. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

Incident Date: June 24, 2010 - Time: 1:30:00 PM - Location: Panera Bread Restaurant

Summary: On the above date and time, officers from the Gold Hill Division were dispatched to the Panera Bread Restaurant to investigate the report of a child that had been left in a car. Officers determined that a 9 month old child had inadvertently been left in a locked car in the parking lot for approximately 40 minutes while the parents had gone into the restaurant for a meal. When the parents came out and realized their mistake, they took immediate actions to call the police and medical personnel.

Two questions: 1) HOW DO BOTH PARENTS FORGET ABOUT A CHILD FOR 40 MINUTES? 2) How can it possibly take you 40 minutes to eat at Panera? Back to the report ..

They took first-aid steps for their child's welfare and the child recovered and was responsive on scene. The baby was transported to Memorial Hospital (Central) as a precautionary measure for evaluation. There was no indication of any injury to the child and he was released to the custody of the parents.

So what do you think? Crime or no crime?

After an exhaustive investigation and consultation with appropriate agencies, no criminal charges were filed in this case. This incident serves as a reminder that leaving children unattended in a vehicle is dangerous and potentially fatal.

Really? Perhaps the reminder would be a little more powerful if the parents were punished!

It's not like Ms. McCollister (of Garnerville, Nevada) just gave her son the keys and said "drive." She had him sit on her lap! How drunk was she? .299! To put that in context, having simply read a BAC that high, you should be buzzed. How did Ms. McCollister get to this point? As reported by The Record-Courier:

McCollister told District Judge Dave Gamble on Tuesday that she had been drinking all that weekend. She said she invited an acquaintance to stay at her home because she was in the process of obtaining a temporary restraining order against her husband and she was afraid to be alone.

“He (the houseguest) kept pressuring me to take him home. He drove himself home, and we were in the car. I was pretty much passed out all the way. He pulled into his driveway and just left us there. There was another lady with us, but she didn't have her glasses, so she refused to drive. I had my son get on my lap and drive us,” McCollister said.

Other than lying, there may be nothing judges despise more than the failure to accept responsibility for your actions. Judge Gamble is no exception:

“You just gave me the identities of three or four people whose fault this was, and none of it was yours,” Gamble said. “As long as you think this was anyone else's fault but yours, I have no reason to show any leniency toward you, and you'll get no good out of this.

“All that conspired from your perspective to force you to commit felony child abuse. That's nonsense,” Gamble said. “Next time you're in here, I hope I don't hear a pocketful of excuses for the absolute evilness and irrationality of putting your son on your lap while you're drunk and driving you home.”

And if you're wondering how she got caught, not surprisingly, it turns out a 12-year-old drives a lot like a drunkard.

She was arrested Oct. 17 near the intersection of El Dorado Drive and Village Way in Gardnerville after a Douglas County reserve deputy reported seeing a brown Buick headed north on Highway 395 weaving in and out of the travel lane and varying its speed.

The witness said he passed the vehicle and saw a child in the driver's seat. According to the sheriff's report, he and a deputy contacted McCollister after the vehicle stopped near her residence.

So what is she looking at? ... up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine at her Dec. 14 sentencing [after pleading guilty to attempted child abuse or neglect]. And if the situation wasn't bad enough ...

A woman and a 7-year-old child also were in the vehicle.

And ...

McCollister is to appear Jan. 5 in East Fork Justice Court for sentencing on a second conviction of driving under the influence to which she plead guilty Oct. 20.

It's not that The Juice is unsympathetic to this woman's problem with alcohol. It's just that there is no excuse for putting the lives of your child and others in jeopardy. Here's the source, including a photo.