Legal Juice

A convenience store clerk in Florida might as well have said "Hey fellas, want some money? Help yourself!" Here's how it went down, as reported by www.wpbf.com:

Boynton Beach police said two men entered the store [the aptly-named E-Z Market] and found the clerk asleep in the back.

Police said one of the men took between $300 and $400 from the register while the other man kept watch to make sure the clerk didn't wake up.

Both men then rode off on a bicycle, police said.

Fellow cyclists? Dagnabbit. Please, don't hold this against The Juice and the ever-increasing number of cyclists out there.

The dumb part? Getting so drunk that he passed out. The lucky part? That he passed out on train tracks. Yes, that is the "lucky" part because this youngster crashed in between the tracks. So when the train ran over him, per The Des Moines Register:

Two railroad engineers for Iowa Interstate Railroad said they saw 17-year-old Christian Latshaw on the railroad tracks as they were moving east and crossing a Des Moines River bridge to East First Street south of Court Avenue about 10:45 p.m., according to a Des Moines police report.

When the engineers, David Good Jr. and John Knutson, realized a person was in front of the train, they applied the emergency brake, but the engine and first car still went over the top of Latshaw before the train stopped.

Latshaw told officers he had been drinking at the 80/35 Music Festival, about a mile away, then blacked out and woke up on the tracks.

Officers said Latshaw had bloodshot, watery eyes and smelled of alcohol. He was taken to Mercy Medical Center for treatment of two lacerations on the back of his head and a bruise on his right thigh.

The charges?

Latshaw was arrested and received a delayed referral to juvenile court on trespassing and public intoxication charges, according to the police report.

You have to admit, it's not the most illogical place to hide some sausage... It would appear, though, that this gent may have overdone it. Per The Cairns Post:

A man hit a snag with police after he stuffed his pants with sausages and a meat pack in an alleged theft at an Innisfail supermarket.

It is the region's second case of shop-stealing involving sausages stashed in trousers in recent months. (You can read about the first one here.)

Police officers were called to the store after the 50-year-old was seen allegedly leaving without paying for the stash on Wednesday.

In a move that surely disappointed the bargain hunters out there ...

It is understood the meat has been disposed of.

Like most cities, Portland has some weird laws still on the books. As reported in the
The Oregonian:

... Then there are the head-scratchers. Publicly scraping clean the skeleton of one's beloved in a cemetery is a criminal act. Chain letters are strictly prohibited. In city parks, it's illegal to climb a tree, sit on a vase or lie upon a picnic table. Sailors fleeing a burning ship may, but are not required to, sound a horn or whistle in blasts of four to six seconds, no more or less. Teens might be breaking the law if they cruise down certain busy streets more than twice in a night.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Moment of Zen - Sanchez Taser
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Except for Rich Sanchez (see video above), nobody wants to get tased. But how far would you go to avoid it? Hopefully there is not another soul out there who would go to this length. As reported by The Macomb Daily:

A judge in Mount Clemens has sentenced a father to a year in jail and parenting classes after he used his 2-year-old daughter as a shield during a confrontation with a Taser-wielding police officer.

27-year-old Joseph Cox of Belleville ... pleaded no contest to misdemeanor child abuse and guilty to home invasion and obstructing an officer.

He was accused in March of breaking into his ex-wife’s Warren home. The child was held in front of a Taser pointed at Cox by an officer. The officer didn’t fire.

Clearly, Mr. Cox is no Rick Sanchez.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a tasering you probably remember ...

When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? No. No. No. No. No. Especially "no" if your "target" is ... the police station! What, you don't believe The Juice? Do you believe The Detroit Free Press?

... in Royal Oak ... at 4:39 p.m. Monday — in broad daylight on a weekday afternoon — [a man] was seen by several witnesses urinating on the side of the Royal Oak police station, according to Lt. Gordon Young. It gets better.

“After urinating, the suspect entered the station in an attempt to file a police report on an undisclosed matter,” Young said today.

But witnesses had quickly informed the police at the front desk, Deputy City Attorney Mark Liss said. The man was issued a citation, and likely will serve no jail time but pay a fine and court costs of $250; the maximum would have been $500 and up to 90 days in jail for public urination, Liss said today.

Wow. Click here for the source.

If you need a reminder of just how different cultures (and their customs and laws) can be, this ought to do it. As reported by The Times of India:

The incident took place in the tribal dominated Masinda village in Debagarh's Barkote police station area. It houses more than 40 tribal families. Surrounded by thick forests, the village is cut off from main land because of poor communication. The victim, identified as Mani Hanaga (50) became the lone bread earner of the family after her husband Sibio Hanaga became invalid last year.

"She had sown paddy seeds in her filed last month. But in tribal community, sowing seeds is considered a sin for women. It is against their custom. So they warned her and imposed a fine on her as they felt her act could displease the village deity. They asked her to pay Rs.10,000 along with a goat and 10 chickens to appease the village deity," a social activist from Barkote Surendra Guru said on Thursday.

A deity who is appeased by cash?

Guru, who visited the village after the incident, informed that the village body outcast her whole family after she refused to obey their direction. "When women take part in farming everywhere, why should I be stopped from sowing the seeds?", she asked.

Meanwhile, the district collector has taken the matter seriously. He has asked officials to look into the matter and submit a report for further action. "The incident has come to my notice and I have asked the local BDO to prepare a report on the issue. I will take action once I receive the report," Deogarh collector B B Jena said on Thursday.

You go Mr. Jena. Here's the source.

The Juice is a believer in some old-fashioned notions, like men holding the elevator door open for women. Too bad a fellow in Boston, Mohammed Warsame, is not like-minded. Here's why, as reported by The Boston Herald:

A Roxbury man was slopped with a plate of pasta, punched, kicked, spit on and beaten with handbags by two women who told investigators they needed to “teach him a lesson” for not holding an elevator door for them, police said.

Holy crap!

When Boston police arrived at 1050 Tremont St. late Saturday night to break up the lift tiff, they said they found noodles dripping off the back of Mohammed Warsame.

Kenyana McQuay, 27, and Waltia Funches, 28, told officers Warsame “was rude to them” because he didn’t hold the elevator door open as they walked into the building, and so “they had to use their fists, their bags and their feet to teach him a lesson.”

Warsame said he threw water bottles at the two women to try and fend them off.

Certainly etiquette sticklers like these ladies would treat the police with respect, right? Wrong.

Police, who described McQuay and Funches as “extremely agitated,” “uncooperative” and “verbally abusive toward officers,” summonsed both women to Roxbury District Court on assault and battery charges.

Here's the source.

So says Green Tree [Pennsylvania] Council President Mark Sampogna. As reported in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

Green Tree officials said they will not pursue any disciplinary action against police Chief Andrew Lisiecki for his conduct while on prostitution detail last month.

In the letter to Pittsburgh Police Chief Nate Harper and the Allegheny County Chiefs of Police Association, District Attorney Stephen A. Zappala Jr. said the Pennsylvania court determined that it is not necessarily inappropriate for police officers to take off their clothes during such investigations.

Media reports and a criminal complaint revealed that the chief allegedly took off his clothes during an undercover investigation during a sting operation on Sept. 9 at the Radisson Green Tree.

Oh the humanity! The poor man had to get naked in bed with a woman! We already know who to blame for this.

"The fact is that the prostitutes are extremely aware of the laws and know precisely how to avoid arrest" [said Mr. Sampogna].

"What is required for an arrest and conviction is an overt act that unfortunately may require the officer to disrobe. As distasteful as this may seem, the judicial system has created these levels of proof," he said.

What's distasteful is the imposition of one's morals on others. (Yes, of course it should be regulated, for everyone's protection.) But hey, it's the law. So violate it at your peril. The more relevant law though? The law of supply and demand. Here's the source.

Everyone - okay almost everyone - knows that Chinese food comes in those little cardboard containers with the little wire handle. So what was Mr. Edward Ridley of Cordele, Georgia thinking when he tried to smuggle some pot to an inmate in Chinese food in a styrofoam container? Needless to say, the guards were suspicious. As reported by the Dothan Eagle (Alabama):

Court records show deputies arrested Edward Ridley, 41, of Cordele, Ga., and charged him Saturday with felony promoting prison contraband. Records show Ridley apparently entered the Pike County Jail with a styrofoam container with Chinese food inside, including rice and shrimp, for inmate Vincent Thomas. A jailer at the facility used a fork to search the food and found a bag of marijuana.

Things went south from there.

If convicted of the class C felony charge, promoting prison contraband, Ridley faces one to 10 years in prison. He was being held in the Pike County Jail on a $7,500 bond.

Doh!

Sure, there have been mistakes made in the "war on drugs" and the "war on terror." But exactly how Australian customs could make such a colossal mistake is hard to fathom. As reported at news.com.au:

Neil Parry was arrested in June last year at Darwin Airport and charged with trafficking 1.6kg of liquid ecstasy in two bottles of Pantene.

After spending three days in jail last year, and having friends' homes searched, Mr Parry was granted bail.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem with the case against Mr. Parry.

Customs later admitted the toiletries contained no illegal drugs and all charges against Mr Parry were dropped.

NO DRUGS!

Today, Mr Parry told ABC Radio he had been given $100,000 in compensation for his ordeal and an apology.

Wow, so it worked out well for him after all? Not exactly.

"It is not worth it, no," Mr Parry said."I would rather it never happened," he said.

He said most of the money would go towards his legal expenses.

Here's the source.

Well, this is one of the most one-way relationships ever. As in, a truckload of money went one way, and "virtually" nothing went the other way ... As reported by The Naperville Sun

A Naperville man is out $200,000 after wiring money to an online girlfriend he didn’t realize was a fake.

NOOOOO! 200,000 clams! And it would have continued, had the scammer not overdone it.

The 48-year-old man called Naperville police at 6:57 p.m. Wednesday to ask for help in rescuing the woman, whom he believed had been kidnapped in London, according to a police report.

He told police he started the relationship online 2 1/2 years ago. During that time, the man wired about $200,000 total to several different bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States, according to the police report.

An identification card the woman provided to the man was a sample driver’s license from Florida, the report said. According to the report, when the officer stated the female did not exist, the man “was in disbelief.”

Hopefully he has some cash left, and stays off the internet ... Here's the source.

Google probably gets sued everyday for some wacky reason. Add this one to the list - in the "Google satellite - underwear" category. As reported by The Mainichi Daily News:

A woman [in Fukuoka] is suing search-engine giant Google Inc., saying her psychological condition worsened after discovering that a search for her address brought up a photo of her underwear hanging out on her veranda.

The woman, who is in her 20s, filed suit against Google at the Fukuoka District Court for 600,000 yen [$7,162 US] in consolation money and other payments.

Opening arguments were held on Dec. 15. The woman said, "I was overwhelmed with anxiety that I might be the target of a sex crime. It caused me to lose my job, and I moved my residence." Google said that it is hurrying to confirm the facts of the case.

According to the suit and other sources, the woman discovered the photograph in spring of this year when she used Google to do a search for the address of her Fukuoka apartment, where she lived alone.

The suit says the woman already had a form of obsessive compulsive disorder before seeing the photograph, and after seeing it her symptoms worsened. She began worrying that her activities were being secretly photographed throughout the day. She was fired from the hospital where she worked, and moved to a new residence.

After the court session, the woman told the Mainichi that around October, the month in which she filed the lawsuit, the image no longer came up when searching for the address in Google.

"I could understand if it was just a picture of the outside of the apartment, but showing a person's underwear hanging outside is absolutely wrong," said the woman.

So, if you have a clothes line up, you might want to ... uh ... gotta run!

If this dude is a sports fan, here's guessing that his favorite cliche is the one about running a successful play over and over until the opposing team stops it. Now, It may be useful in sports, but in crime? Not so much. Especially crimes against property ... As reported in The Spectator [Hamilton, Ontario]:

Police had staked out a Subway restaurant on Lake Street Tuesday that’s been robbed three times before, when a man robbed the Esso gas bar next door at Scott Street.

The suspect was nabbed with the cash running from the gas bar. Turns out, detectives say the man is the same one who’s hit the Subway so often.

A 38-year-old St. Catharines man has been charged with four counts of robbery and was scheduled to appear in St. Catharines court Wednesday.

Doh!

In almost every jurisdiction, male lawyers must wear a jacket and tie when they appear in court. The idea is to appear dignified and professional – we are, after all, officers of the court. Most attorneys would probably agree that the courtroom is not the place to make a fashion statement.

Tom Cherryhomes, a New Mexico family lawyer, felt otherwise. Per the court,

On September 13, 1991, Cherryhomes appeared in Judge Shuler's courtroom to represent a client in a child abuse/neglect proceeding. Cherryhomes was wearing a short-sleeved, conventional dress shirt with the neck unbuttoned. He had a light blue piece of cloth or bandanna tied around his neck, above his collar, and he was not wearing a jacket.

Judge Schuler reminded Mr. Cherryhomes that ties were required attire in his courtroom. Per the court:

[Cherryhomes] said he was wearing a tie, even if Judge Shuler did not like his choice, and referred to a book on nineteenth century western wear and a dictionary definition of “tie,” which he had brought with him. Judge Shuler disagreed with Cherryhomes's interpretation of the meaning of the local rules requirement of a tie, and found Cherryhomes in contempt, fining him $50.

Cherryhomes requested a hearing, and an opportunity to explain himself. The Judge agreed. Shockingly, the Judge agreed with himself! Based on what you know of this lawyer so far, do you think he appealed? He did. And who do you think won?

Continue reading "Judge And Lawyer Argue Over "Tie." Who Wins?" »

You're probably thinking "oh, like you've never brandished?" A gun? No, The Juice has never brandished a gun. The same cannot be said for Ms. Shiquita D. Reed, whose recent trip to Brandishstan (look it up) involved children at a bus stop! As reported by The Richmond Times-Dispatch:

A Chesterfield County mother with a history of disturbing, anti-social behavior was convicted Thursday of brandishing a gun [a .40-caliber semi-automatic pistol!] in front of three students at her daughter's bus stop and sent to jail for two years.

Declaring Shiquita D. Reed a "danger to society," Judge D. Gregory Carr of Chesterfield Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court convicted the 33-year-old mother of six on three misdemeanor counts of brandishing and sentenced her to a total of 36 months in jail with 12 months suspended.

What about her record?

Carr noted Reed's prior record, including at least three convictions for assault and battery, one for destruction of property and another for brandishing a gun when she was 18, in 1996.

A year ago last month, Reed was charged in Richmond with three counts of brandishing a firearm in the course of six days, including one incident involving a student walking to school. But all three charges eventually were withdrawn because the witnesses either didn't show up in court or refused to testify.

The Richmond commonwealth's attorney's office has dealt with Reed nearly a dozen times in recent years on a variety of charges, but most were dropped because of witness problems.

This may, or may not, explain why there has been such a problem with witnesses:

... Reed ... [said] it wasn't uncommon for her to walk her daughter to the bus stop and she had carried her gun there at least three times before...

"I always carry my gun," Reed testified, adding that she straps it on soon after she wakes up in the morning.

Yikes.

Honestly, sir, get a life. Don't look at it. Move to the mountains. Read the Constitution. But please, don't waste anyone's time with your complaints about this decal!!!!! As reported by Great Falls Tribune (Montana):

Brian Smith is tired of coming home from work to see what he calls pornography [see above] staring him in the face from across the alley.

Smith, who lives on the 1600 block of 1st Avenue North, said the problem began when he noticed a large decal on the back window of a car in the parking lot of Quality Life Concepts. The decal is a white silhouette of a naked woman.

"To me, this has crossed the line," he said.

What does the decal's owner think?

Offensive or not, Shanna Weaver, who owns the car and decal in question, said it's her right to display the picture.

"It's my freedom of speech, which he can't take away," Weaver said. "It's no different than the mud flaps that you see on trucks."

What do you have to say to that, sir [other than that you want all those mud flaps on trucks across the country removed]?

Smith feels differently. There are certain parts of the body in that silhouette that neither he nor his wife, Louise, like to look at when they pull into their garage directly across from Quality of Life Concepts, where Weaver works — and parks.

"My upbringing dictates that the human body is a sacred thing, not something that should be put on display," Smith said.

Perhaps your upbringing would have been aided with a dose of tolerance. With such disparate views on the subject, could they work this out?

Smith and Weaver confirmed in separate interviews that Smith talked to Weaver about the decal, telling her that he didn't like looking at it and asking if she could back her car into her parking spot or park it somewhere else where the decal didn't face his house. Weaver initially agreed, honoring Smith's request for one day. The next day, the decal was back in Smith's view.

Although The Juice prefers to back in, good for her! But that wasn't the end of it for Mr. Smith.

That's when Smith wondered if he could take his complaint to the police. Smith's point of view is that the sticker on the back of Weaver's car is pornography, and it should be illegal to display it in public.

A police officer dispatched to check out the decal determined that the illustration didn't fit the city or state's statute defining obscenity. The legal spat between Smith and Weaver never made it past a complaint with the Great Falls Police Department ...

Choppers, choppers, choppers. Eric White, 42, of Edinburgh, Scotland, just can't get enough of the pearlie whites. He roamed the city streets, telling women that he worked for a dental company, and wanted to photograph their teeth. And he didn't just roam the streets in search of worthy teeth. In 2004, he drove alongside a woman, flashing his lights and beeping his horn to get her to pull over. As reported in The Scotsman:

When she did so, he told her about his work for a dental company, commented on her "beautiful teeth" and asked if he could photograph them for a dental magazine. She initially agreed, but became suspicious and left when he told her she had a "sexy mouth" and a "beautiful tongue". He repeatedly approached her until she finally reported him to the police in March 2006 when he reappeared at her new home in Newtongrange.

Although he wasn't prosecuted for that one, there were plenty of others. Mr. White was arrested for breach of the peace by placing three women in a state of fear and alarm. He pleaded guilty ... You can read more by clicking here for The Scotsman article.

Yes, Mr. 9-year bus driver, they are. As reported in The State Register-Journal:

A Springfield Mass Transit District bus driver received a one-day unpaid suspension recently for wearing a pink tie to help raise awareness for breast cancer.

The driver had to serve the suspension, but his action also led to the SMTD agreeing that employees could wear pink on Fridays in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October.

William “Bill” Jones, 46, said he didn’t think wearing a pink tie on the first Friday of the month would be a problem, since National Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a nationally recognized event.

Incredible, no?

You will be not be surprised to learn that Mr. William Ernst (who owns a bunch of convenience stores called QC Mart) was known by some as the "boss from hell." A recent brainstorm to make the case? How about a memo titled “New Contest – Guess The Next Cashier Who Will Be Fired!!!"? As reported by The Des Moines Register, here's what the memo said:

“
To win our game, write on a piece of paper the name of the next cashier you believe will be fired. Write their name [the person who will be fired], today’s date, today’s time, and your name. Seal it in an envelope and give it to the manager to put in my envelope.

“Here’s how the game will work: We are doubling our secret-shopper efforts, and your store will be visited during the day and at night several times a week. Secret shoppers will be looking for cashiers wearing a hat, talking on a cell phone, not wearing a QC Mart shirt, having someone hanging around/behind the counter, and/or a personal car parked by the pumps after 7 p.m., among other things.

“If the name in your envelope has the right answer, you will win $10 CASH. Only one winner per firing unless there are multiple right answers with the exact same name, date, and time. Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes, award the prize, and start the contest again.

“And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cell phone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!”

As a result of this wonderful team-building contest, several workers quit. When they sought unemployment, the boss fought it and ... lost!

Administrative Law Judge Susan D. Ackerman sided with the workers, calling the contest “egregious and deplorable.” Shelsky was awarded unemployment benefits.

“The employer’s actions have clearly created a hostile work environment by suggesting its employees turn on each other for a minimal monetary prize,” Ackerman ruled. “This was an intolerable and detrimental work environment.”

That'll probably be the end of the contests, at least for a little while.