Legal Juice

British hero policeman Andrew Shovelar is on trial for attacking his former girlfriend, a trial which was only supposed to take 8 days, but had wrapped its third week. What's the problem, you're wondering. Well, you see, several of the jurors have to go on holiday. What's a judge to do? Not cancel the trial after 3 weeks, right? Wrong! HE DITCHED THE TRIAL SO A JUROR COULD GO ON HOLIDAY! Said Judge Heath:

It was made plain that she would be on the plane to Portugal.

It is the only realistic decision I can take in the circumstances.

There is a law in Japan that forbids the importing of photographs showing male genitals. Why would The Juice know this? No, not because of a recent trip to Japan. Because, returning home from a trip abroad, Japanese publisher Takashi Asai was carrying a book of Mapplethorpe photos that he published in Japan in 1994. Under Japanese law, imported genital photos are illegal. So how did he make the book in the first place? When he brought the negatives in years ago, customs did not check them.

Mr. Asai is challenging the ban. Although he lost in the lower court, he is confident that the Supreme Court will rule in his favor. To see some of Maplethorpe's work, click here.

If you or I ever try to pull the shit that Tennessee doctor Robert E. Grindstaff admitted to doing, fuhgeddaboudit. While he was in the hospital, here's what went down, per The Kingsport Times-News:

[from August 3 through September 8] unlicensed personnel at Grindstaff’s Pinecrest Family Practice in Johnson City treated 115 patients by evaluating and questioning them about their needs and calling in refills for prescriptions without consulting a physician.

... during those dates If the patient required a Schedule II controlled substance, a member of Grindstaff’s staff took a note to Grindstaff to have him sign the prescription without his review of the patient’s records.

During the same time period, Grindstaff’s office billed patients for nursing visits despite the fact the doctor was not in the office and there are no nurses or staff members at the practice “with any formal training or experience in any medically related field.”

The board placed Grindstaff’s license on probationary status for two years, during which he must complete an educational seminar on prescribing controlled drugs, a comprehensive physician assessment, and a clinical education program.

The board further ordered Grindstaff to pay up to $1,000 of the cost of the health department’s prosecution of his case.

According to the board, Grindstaff’s actions violated both state statutes and medical practice acts governing gross malpractice, unprofessional conduct, prescribing and dispensing drugs, and medical record keeping.

The Juice suggests that you think again. You are not a "manual scavenger." As described by writer Sunil Kuksal:

The term ‘manual scavenging’ describes the daily work of manually cleaning and removing human feces from dry (non-flush) latrines across India. Workers, mostly women and young boys, are also referred to as ‘night soil workers’, a Victorian euphemism that hides the repugnance of the word ‘shit’... Using a broom, a tin plate and a drum, they clear and carry human excreta from public and private latrines, more often on their heads, to dumping grounds and disposal sites.

The practice is on in almost all states, including Bihar, Maharashtra, Jammu & Kashmir and even Delhi. The Indian railways is one of the largest employers of manual scavengers.

That's probably what Mr. James Dowdy is thinking. Per the Belleville News-Democrat:

In 1993, Dowdy received a three-year-prison sentence for attempted burglary after police caught him with a bag of stolen socks.

[In 1997] ... Dowdy was sentenced to six-years in prison for breaking into another woman's home and stealing socks...

In 2004, Dowdy, received a seven-year prison sentence after he pleaded guilty to walking into a female neighbor's home and taking her socks.

Dowdy ... was charged with residential burglary, a class X felony. He's accused of stealing a pair of socks early Monday morning from a victim's basement.

Yup. Judge John P. Wulle, of the Clark County, Washington Superior Court, was attending a conference entitled "Planning Your Juvenile Drug Court in Los Angeles in July 2006. I know, skip the details - get to the dirt. Here's some of what he said, as set forth in the "Stipulation" entered into by the Judge and the Commission on Judicial Conduct:

During a breakout session, the team's facilitator wrote a star on an assignment the team completed and said jokingly, "Clark County gets a star." Respondent [Judge Wulle] replied, "I don't need a star, I'm not a Jew."

Later in the week, during a break in the conference, other faculty members asked [Judge Wulle] who Clark County's facilitator was, and he answered, "the black gay guy."

A team member asked [Judge Wulle] to lower his voice ... and he acknowledged the request by raising his middle finger at the team member.

During a breakout session ... [Judge Wulle] became frustrated with the pace or direction of discussion, and announced it was time for the group to move on to the next topic. A fellow team member spoke up, "No Judge, this is important, we need to work through this," or words to that effect. In response to this seemingly respectful entreaty, [Judge Wulle] angrily yelled, "F_ _ _ you" and threw his pen down on a table and left the room. [Regular Juice readers know that I don't delete expletives. The Commission does, though.]

So this dude had 60 pot plants growing in 2 rooms. As luck would have it [bad luck, that is], there was a fire in his apartment building, leading to the discovery of the weed. How much time do you think he's facing? Zippy. Nada. Squadoosh. Sure he doesn't have a record, but if it happened to you or me, fuhgeddaboutit. We're doing time. But not Mr. Graham McConnell, who actually had a pretty good story, which might even be true. Per The Paisley Daily Express:

[His lawyer said] “He is a man who has been using cannabis for some time and made the foolish decision to cultivate the drug in order to avoid coming into contact with those who traffic in the drug."

“He had decided to grow a lot of the stuff, dry and freeze it and, by doing so, not become involved with those who traffic in drugs on the street.”

You are not going to believe what this formerly respectable couple did to try and avoid a £60 ($88 US) ticket and three points. And it's not like it would have put the wife over the top - her driving record was spotless. So Mrs. Diane Rodger, a lecturer [professor] was doing 40 mph in a 30mph zone when she was nailed by a speeding camera. Instead of just paying the fine, what did she and her husband Michael (a magistrate!) do? As reported in the Mail Online:

After consulting an internet website for tips on challenging speeding tickets, they altered the car's appearance.

They changed the style of the Skoda's number plate and removed stickers from its windscreen in a bizarre attempt to persuade police it had been 'cloned' and that she was not the driver...

Over the next three months Nottinghamshire Central Ticket Office, which deals with speeding fines, received five letters contesting the ticket, all signed by 'Mr Rodger JP'.

They variously claimed he had no knowledge of the offence, that the car was regularly used by others, that the car may have been 'cloned', that the car was parked in Nottingham city centre at the time of the offence and that the captured image was not clear enough to identify the driver.

The letters also claimed that the middle letter on the number plate was indistinct and that his vehicle did not have stickers in the windscreen, unlike the images of the speeding car.

Mrs Rodger stated she had, while Mr Rodger claimed he had signed them without reading them. Thomas Elmer, defending Mr Rodger, said: 'It was his wife who wished to evade the penalty but it was their joint idea how to go about it."

The couple wept as Judge David Brunning told them they had been 'staggeringly stupid' and that he had 'just been persuaded' not to send them to prison. Instead, they were each given six-month jail sentences, suspended for two years.

They were also ordered to carry out 300 hours of unpaid work each and to pay £5,000 costs between them after admitting intending to pervert the course of justice.

For real. Apparently it wasn't the first time Michael Rainey's cat mistook neighbor Joseph Loflin's yard for a litter box. As reported by Click2Houston.com:

"'Your cat has been back there defecating in my back yard,'" [former police officer] Loflin said he told his neighbor. "I used the slang word, the four-letter word to describe what the cat was doing."

Both men agree that Loflin used the "s" word. Rainey said his 13-year-old daughter was nearby.

"I said, 'Look, I've asked you twice. This is the third time. Don't use that language in front of my daughter,'" Rainey said he told Loflin. "That's when he responded, 'There's nothing wrong with the word, and if I want to use the word, I'll use the word.'"

"I didn't call him a filthy name," Loflin said. "I didn't call him … I didn't use any profanity towards him. I used it as a noun, then I used it as an adverb to describe what his cat was doing. I think it was greatly taken out of context." After Loflin threatened to get a trap, Rainey called the police. The police wrote Loflin a ticket for disorderly conduct because of language.

Per the Court, Ken Parks

... attacked his parents‑in‑law, killing one and seriously injuring the other. The incident occurred at their home, some 23 km. [14 miles] from respondent's [Parks'] residence, during the night while they were both asleep in bed. Respondent [Parks] had driven there by car. Immediately after the incident, the respondent went to a nearby police station, again driving his own car, and told them what he had done. Respondent claimed to have been sleepwalking throughout the incident.

At the trial respondent presented a defence of automatism. The testimony of five expert witnesses called by the defence was not contradicted by the Crown. This evidence was that respondent was sleepwalking and that sleepwalking is not a neurological, psychiatric or other illness. The trial judge put only the defence of automatism to the jury, which acquitted respondent of first degree murder and then of second degree murder. The judge then acquitted the respondent of the charge of attempted murder. The Court of Appeal unanimously upheld the acquittal. At issue here is whether sleepwalking should be classified as non‑insane automatism resulting in an acquittal or as a "disease of the mind" (insane automatism), giving rise to the special verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity.

To read the entire Canadian Supreme Court case, click here.

If you are one of those folks who refuses to carry a cell phone, I seriously doubt that this story will change your mind. But for those who carry them religiously (me?), and feel strange if we don't have them, vindication! Check out this story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

The robber came in the door of the Beverage Mart liquor store in Roswell, waving a big, black hunting knife.

He wanted the money in the knapsack. Now!

He lunged at the clerk, Joseph Wescott, 59, who leaned back to get away from that 10-inch gleaming blade. The knife hit the cell phone in Wescott’s breast pocket instead.

That bought time. Time enough for Wescott to reach for the Glock .40 he kept under the counter.

It was Monday night, about 8:30 p.m., and that’s when accused robber, Carlos Jeanpierre, 24, of Atlanta, realized this might be the end.

He ran for the door, but not before Wescott got off a round, hitting him in the side. The bullet went in the right side and lodged in the left side of the abdomen.

Wescott ... is the father of a Roswell Police officer. The son had bought his dad both the gun and the phone, Wescott said.

Folks in Valentine, Nebraska can now breathe a huge sigh of relief because the Butt Bandit has been arrested. It's not clear why they call him the Butt Bandit since neither his butt, nor any other part of him, ever stole anything. To the contrary, he actually leaves something behind [bad pun, I know], his butt (and/or groin) prints in vaseline or lotion. As reported in The North Platte Bulletin:

The rash of bizarre behavior began in May 2007. Valentine police already had fielded about 20 different reports by this time a year ago.

Rewards offered through Crime Stoppers failed to provide any leads. No physical structure has been damaged, although producing the printings probably involved indecent exposure, officials believe.

Irony? Sixty-one-year-old Janusz Nowak of Sosnowiec, Poland was sick and tired of people vandalizing his bus stop. So, he pasted the following notice on the pavement:

"Dear Vandals - please stop destroying the bus-stop."

A police spokesman said: "Although the man had good intentions and wanted to express his indignation towards hooligans' behaviour in the neighbourhood he unfortunately broke the law himself."

No doubt Dr. Nilon Tallant was incredibly thrilled to be honored as the Texas "Doctor of the Day" on January 12, 2007. He correctly assumed that the Texas House of Representatives did not know that he is a CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER who had his license revoked (by the Texas Medical Board!) for 4 years. Said Lt. Gutierrez, who investigated Dr. Tallant's crime, and described him as extremely exploitative and abusive:

I can’t believe that the Medical Board let him practice again. Why didn’t they talk to us before making that decision?

Representative Leo Berman, who introduced Dr. Tallant, was not pleased.

I don't like the idea that I introduced a sex offender. He should have told whoever selected him to be the Doctor of the Day that he is a registered sex offender and not try to appear before the Texas House of Representatives and make himself look legitimate before the entire state.

And guess what the TV station investigating the matter discovered: The Texas Legislature also honored Dr. Tallant on April 21, 2006!

Kauai has got to be one of the coolest places on earth (especially the north shore). It's definitely the coolest place The Juice ever visited.

But even this totally chill tropical paradise has a few rules. For example, when you visit somebody in the hospital, you can't bring the patient's horse (in the elevator!) to cheer him up. Now it is Kauai, so the hospital does allow pets, like cats and dogs. And they are almost apologetic about this limitation.

"On Kauai, we have a very warm inviting atmosphere at Wilcox [Memorial Hospital]," [hospital spokeswoman] Yukimura said. "We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse."

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