What did Canadian elementary school teacher Maria Pantalone do that resulted in her pleading guilty to assaulting a 12-year-old boy? Hint #1: She threw something at him. Hint #2: It was brown. Need another hint? Hint #3: It smells really, really bad. Yes, it was feces! And the kid was not even one of her students! Why did she do it? “I couldn’t take it anymore. It was total, total frustration,” she testified, as reported in the Toronto Star. The punishment? Zippy. No fine or jail time. She was suspended, but with pay. Her future as a teacher remains uncertain. Yes, there are several nagging questions: Where did she get the human feces? What could the kid possibly have done to drive her to do it? We’re unlikely to find out because there is a publication ban to protect the minor’s identity. Damn! Here’s the article.