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You can probably guess where this one is going. Judge Biddle, of Douglas County, Colorado, and prosecutor Laurie Steinman admitted that they had sex in the courthouse, on multiple occasions, in multiple places. Though the affair was apparently the subject of courthouse gossip, it only appeared on the official radar when Judge Biddle’s fourth wife reported it to the Chief Judge. (Honestly, when you marry the “Larry King” of the courts, could this surprise you? Yes, apparently it can. “I’m shocked and thoroughly disgusted,” said wife #4, after reading the complaint.) Per the allegations set forth in the Complaint filed with the Colorado Supreme Court:

The relationship began last spring, with Biddle offering to mentor [!] Steinman in his chambers over morning cups of coffee.

Both admit they had sex a number of times in . . . Judge Biddle’s judicial chamber during the summer of 2006 [including on July 4th @!*^&#!]

On a number of occasions, Judge Biddle would ‘sneak’ into the women’s shower facility in the courthouse early in the morning to shower with Ms. Steinman.

Steinman prosecuted 2 cases before Judge Biddle without disclosing their relationship.

And the remainder of the diddle fallout?

[Thanks to Cindy Hill for steering Legal Juice to this story.]

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George and Maxine Maynard, Jehovah’s witnesses, were going to find out. Obscuring the motto was a misdemeanor. Believing the “Live Free or Die” motto to be repugnant to their moral, religious and political beliefs

in May or June 1974 Mr. Maynard actually snipped the words “or Die” off the license plates, and then covered the resulting hole, as well as the words “Live Free,” with tape. This was done, according to Mr. Maynard, because neighborhood children kept removing the tape.

Mr. Maynard was found guilty on three separate charges and, upon refusing to pay the fines, was sentenced to, and served, 15 days in jail! He then filed suit in federal court, asking the judge to declare the statute unconstitutional. He won! (at least at the trial level.) The judge prohibited further enforcement of the law against Mr. Maynard. Of course, the state appealed, and the United States Supreme Court agreed to hear the case. I’m sure you can guess who won…. Maynard! The Court framed the issue as follows:

whether the State may constitutionally require an individual to participate in the dissemination of an ideological message by displaying it on his private property in a manner and for the express purpose that it be observed and read by the public.

The Court’s answer: “We hold that the State may not do so.”

The juxtaposition of the slogan “Live Free or Die” with the act of trying to force someone to display it is just a little ironic, don’t you think? (On another note, for a number of years, New Hampshire has been the only state that does not have a mandatory seat belt law [though that may change this year] despite the fact that, because of this, they forgo millions of dollars in federal funds.) By Chester, nobody’s going to tell those New Hampshirites they have to buckle up. “Live Free or Die” baby!

The case is Wooley v. Maynard, 430 U.S. 705 (1977) and may be read in its entirety here.

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Per the Court, Ken Parks

attacked his parents‑in‑law, killing one and seriously injuring the other. The incident occurred at their home, some 23 km. [14 miles] from respondent’s [Parks’] residence, during the night while they were both asleep in bed. Respondent [Parks] had driven there by car. Immediately after the incident, the respondent went to a nearby police station, again driving his own car, and told them what he had done. Respondent claimed to have been sleepwalking throughout the incident.

Mr. Parks was charged with first degree murder and attempted murder. So how did the trial go? Per the Court:

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Don Bolles, drummer for the legendary punk rock band The Germs, was on his way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting when he was pulled over by Newport Beach, California’s finest. For whatever reason (they hate punk?), they decide to search his car. I’m sure Bolles now wishes he hadn’t consented. He probably thought he had nothing to hide. Ah, but he forget about ……. the soap! Yes, soap. For some odd reason, the police field-tested Bolles’ bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. Using the handy-dandy Narcopouch 928, the police determined that Bolles had GHB (gamma hydroxyl butyrate – the “date rape” drug) in his soap!
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Never doubting for a second that the results could be erroneous, the Newport Beach police charged Bolles with a felony and took him to jail, where he spent the next 3 1/2 days. The soaps maker came to his defense. Ten days after being bailed out, a confirmation test done by the police crime lab came back negative, and the charges were dropped.

But that’s not the end of it. The soap’s manufacturer has been using the Narcopouch 928 GHB test kit to test a variety of products. So far, products from the following companies have produced false-positives: Neutrogena, Tom’s of Maine, Johnson & Johnson, Palmolive! Concerned about all of these false positives, Dr. Bronner’s is calling for police departments across the United States to stop using the Narcopouch 928.

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When I drive, if the conditions don’t meet to my liking (e.g., there are other cars on the road) I am a fountain of profanity. Words and phrases flow from my mouth that I don’t even recognize. And it doesn’t matter who is in the car. That is why I wouldn’t last long in Oklahoma. Here’s the law:

§21-906. If any person shall utter or speak any obscene or lascivious language or word in any public place, or in the presence of females, or in the presence of children under ten (10) years of age, he shall be liable to a fine of not more than One Hundred Dollars ($100.00), or imprisonment for not more than thirty (30) days, or both.

Are you shitting me? I can’t even cuss in front of my wife? One trip through town and I wouldn’t see my kids ’til I’m a grandpappy. You can read the statute here.

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Maybe you were not the best history student? The case of Richard Lance McLaren, and his wife Evelyn, demonstrates why it’s important to pay attention, at least just a little bit.

McLaren and his wife, residents of West Texas, apparently forgot that the Lone Star State was, in fact, a state. After appointing himself “Chief Ambassador and Consul General” of the “Republic of Texas,” Mr. McLaren decided the time was right to strike the final blow for independence.

On April 27, 1997, in the name of the Republic of Texas movement, the McLarens and their followers abducted a West Texas couple and held them hostage as “prisoners of war” for 13 hours in the Republic of Texas “embassy” near Fort Davis, Texas. This kidnapping incident led to a seven-day standoff between the Republic of Texas followers and approximately 300 law enforcement officers, and ended in the surrender of the McLarens and most of the Republic of Texas followers.

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Said the judge: “It seems to me, despite your age and despite your infirmities, you have deliberately, for a period going on for 10 years, made life a misery for your neighbours.” So what exactly did 81 year-old Dorothy Evans do to her neighbors that got her 6 months in jail (a sentence that the judge said would have been much longer had she been younger)? Per the testimony of her neighbor, Angela Casa, Ms. Evans:

Drew a white chalk mark around Mrs Casa’s car, while she was sitting in the vehicle outside her home, and swore at her through the car window before hitting her with her walking stick;

Told their 13-year-old daughter she was a witch and would cast a spell on her family and kill her pet dog;

Dropped her trousers and mooned Mrs. Casa’s mother;

Displayed photographs of the Casa’s home in her garage window alongside a piece of paper with the word “scum” written on it;

Told Mr. Casa to “go back to Italy”

Called Mrs. Casa a prostitute; and

Tried to run Mrs. Casa off the road.

Per the judge, the Casas are “eminently reasonable people,” and “[Ms. Evans] made their lives a misery, as was apparent both at the trial and by the witness impact statements.” He told Ms. Evans that “It’s abundantly clear you will not change.” Well, at least the Casa family will have 6 months of peace and quiet. (You can read more on this story here.)

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Timothy Walker (who, per his lawyer, “developed a bizarre theory that all adult males were smelly”) was admitted to a psychiatric hospital in New South Wales, Australia. He felt that he was not getting the proper medical attention. So, he told the staff he was feeling better, and was discharged. Eleven days later, he was feeling “a mixture of negative things.” He grabbed an extension cord, and climbed a 30-foot tree in his back yard with the intention of hanging himself.

At the top of the tree, “things just didn’t seem as hard as they did before,” said Mr. Walker. “I felt better than I had for a long time, so I started to climb down.” Then tragedy struck. Mr. Walker fell, fractured his spine, and is now a quadriplegic.

Mr. Walker is suing the Wentworth Area Health Service for negligence, claiming that more should have been done for him. As to why he sought no medical treatment in the eleven days after his discharge, he said it was because he “didn’t get any help at the hospital.” The civil suit is currently underway.

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I lack the imagination to make these stories up. Seems that young Ms. Marin (age 18) was recently picked up for trying to pinch a pair of shoes at a London store called Lizard. While the police were detaining her, she managed to secure her weapon – her right breast – and let loose with a stream of milk at the officer. For this, she was charged with assault!

Update: Ms. Marin appeared in court and pleaded “not guilty.” The matter was continued.