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judge%20court%20courtroom%20picture.jpg In October 2006, as reported in The Montgomery Advertiser:

[Then attorney Stuart] DuBose, pleaded guilty to violating the State Bar’s rules and was suspended from the practice of law for 45 days. But the state Supreme Court ruled that the penalty wasn’t sufficient.

The following month, “attorney Dubose” won the election, and became “Judge Dubose.” So? Well ….

… DuBose took office Jan. 15, 2007, and the next month challenged the State Bar’s disciplinary action, arguing, among other things, that the Bar was “divested of its jurisdiction” to discipline him once he became an incumbent circuit judge.

Ludicrous, right? Wrong!

The [Alabama] Supreme Court ruled that DuBose is entitled to have the disciplinary proceedings initiated against him by the State Bar stayed until he’s no longer serving as a circuit judge.

Wacky. But it’s not over for Judge Dubose because, while the attorney discipline action against him has been stayed,

The Judicial Inquiry Commission made 60 separate allegations against DuBose in January, covering his conduct on the bench and as a private lawyer before he took office in January 2007.

As a result, he is on leave with pay, and could be booted from the bench. And if that happens, here comes the Alabama Bar Association with its disciplinary proceeding.

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student%20sleeping%20class%20desk%20sleep%20at.gif At least, don’t fall asleep in Melissa Nadeau’s class. Why not? Just ask Vinicios Robacher, a 15-year-old student in Danbury, Connecticut. When Vinicios crashed, Ms. Nadeau allegedly awoke him by slamming [the palm of] her hand down on his desk so hard that it injured his left eardrum! The boy’s parents have filed papers with the Danbury town clerk, as the AP reported, which is “a prelude to a lawsuit.”

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judge%20leave%20out%20of%20courtroom%20gavel%20funny.gif For real. As reported in The Kansas City Star:

[Fulton Superior Court Judge Marvin] Arrington asked all white people to leave before he lowered the boom on the defendants, telling them that bad behavior in poor black neighborhoods drags down black advancement.

Why did the judge ask all the white folks to leave?

I wanted to have a fireside chat. And my grandmother said years ago that if you’re going to fuss at black people, you don’t need to do it in front of white people.

Zoinks!

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deposition%20angry%20cussing%20man%20curse%20words%20mad%20pissed%20off.gif Must have been “f-bomb the lawyer day.” Mr. Aaron Wider is the owner and CEO of HTFC Corp. In a lawsuit brought by GMAC Bank against HTFC, Mr. Bodzin (GMAC’s attorney) was attempting to take Mr. Wider’s deposition. To say Mr. Wider was uncooperative would be an incredible understatement. Here are a few excerpts from the deposition:

Q. [By Atty. Bodzin] This is your loan file, what do Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald do for a living?
A. [By Mr. Wider] I don’t know. Open it up and find it.
Q. Look at your loan file and tell me.
A. Open it up and find it. I’m not your fucking bitch.
Q. Take a look at your loan application.
A. Do it yourself. Do it yourself. You want to do this in front of a judge. Would you prefer to
[do] this in front of a judge? Then, shut thefuck up.
Q. Sir, take a look–
A. I’m taking a break. Fuck him. You open up the document. You want me to look at something, you get the document out. Earn your fucking money asshole. Isn’t the law wonderful. Better get used to it. You’ll retire when I’m done.

Q. … We’re going to adjourn this deposition if this happens again because you are offending every single person.
A. Don’t speak for anybody in here except yourself fuck face.
Q. I’m speaking for myself and I’m speaking for the Court Reporter.
A. If she had a problem with me she would say something. She knows it’s [not] directed toward
her. It’s directed to you because you’re a piece of shit and a piece of garbage and I’m the only
person in your life that is fucking up your world and I enjoy it. I enjoy it and when you sit there
and say I’m perpetrating a fraud I’m just better at the law than you are and you can’t get in the
fucking door and it’s pissing you off. Keep trying.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] Just how bad was the rest of the deposition? Per the court:

The above [which includes one more excerpt] are only a few examples of Wider’s hostile, uncivil, and vulgar conduct, which persisted throughout the nearly 12 hours of deposition testimony. In fact, Wider used the word “fuck” and variants thereof no less than 73 times. To put this in perspective–in this commercial case, where GMAC’s claim is for breach of contract and HTFC’s counterclaim is for tortious interference with contract–the word “contract” and variants thereof were used only 14 times.

So what did the court do with this? Click below to find out.

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slot%20machines%20machines%20winner%20big%20winner%20las%20vegas.jpg

So you’re Troy Blackford, and you like to gamble. One day back in 1996, you’re in the Prairie Meadows Racetrack and Casino (owned by the County), and you get ticked at a slot machine. You punch it and yell at it. As a result you are banned from ever returning to the casino. No matter. You keep returning and losing money. A few years go by, and you request that the ban be lifted. Denied. You still keep going back. You even get added to your wife’s account, apparently due to a casino employee’s error.

Then, Blackford’s lucky day came, May 5, 2006 – or so he thought. As reported by the Des Moines Register,

Blackford … sauntered up to Dynamite Jack, a 25-cent machine that showed promise. He bet the maximum amount – 45 quarters, or $11.25 per roll – and pushed the “Spin” button.

Lights flashed. The credit-count soared. Gamblers turned and stared as Dynamite Jack delivered $7,181.25, which boosted his total to nearly $10,000.

A female employee walked over, smiled, and asked for two forms of identification.

Uh-oh. It turns out that

Banned gamblers get flagged when they win more than $1,200, when employees recognize them, or when spouses call the casino …

Police ticketed Blackford, took his winnings, read the trespass warning again, and watched him leave.

So, the casino is delighted to take your money when you lose. But when you win more than $1,200, they’re still delighted to take your money! (So the money goes to a state account to help gambling addicts. A good cause, surely, but it’s not the casino’s money to give!) Now I can see the criminal trespass charge (which was dismissed), but taking his winnings? That’s wrong. So Blackford took the case to court and … lost. He will probably appeal.

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courtroom.gifVietnam veteran and court reporter Ronald Tolkin was in the right place at the right time. That place was a courtroom in Brooklyn, New York. Others present: prosecutor Carolyn Pokorny, defendant Victor Wright, Judge Block, and U.S. Marshal Alvarez. As reported by nymag.com, after lunging at Ms. Pokorny with a contraband razor, “[Wright] was tackled first by … Tolkin, who later reconstructed the incident based on digital recordings. His unofficial transcript, first leaked to AbovetheLaw.com, is excerpted below.”

(Time noted: 3:30 p.m.)

(Whereupon Judge Block takes the bench.)

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picnic%20table%20round%20metal.jpgThis one is just really strange. Per wtol.com:

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table.

Holy shiznit! So what charge is Mr. Price looking at? A felony!

What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

And if all that isn’t bad enough, a neighbor videotaped the latest incident. Said Police Captain Johnson,

Once you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes around.

Here’s the source.

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hello%20hi%20how%20are%20you%20greeting%20sign.jpg

Yup. A 30-year-old Toronto man was riding the bus. After making eye contact with the man next to him, the friendly guy said “hello.” This was too much for the unfriendly guy, who, as reported in The National Post, then asked

Why do you say hello to me? I don’t know you.

Um, er, okay. Nevermind. No such luck for the friendly guy.

The victim apologized on the bus, and again when they got off, but the man pulled out a knife and stabbed him. The victim was taken to hospital and received numerous stitches.

Friendly guy is doing alright. Unfriendly guy remains at large.

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telemarketer.pngRobert Johnson REALLY wanted to be a telemarketer. The only problem? He is missing 18 teeth. But Johnson wasn’t going to let that stop him. He applied for a telemarketing position, went through three days of training, and received generally positive evaluations from the telemarketer. Everything seemed to be going so well… until Johnson was let go because he “mumbled on the phone and was not a ‘good match’ for the job.”
tooth.jpg

So Johnson sued the telemarketer under the American’s with Disabilities Act (the “ADA”). Describing his condition as a “cosmetic disfigurement consisting of some prominently visible absent front teeth,” Johnson claimed that his rejection was a pretext for discrimination. The federal district court didn’t buy the argument, so Johnson appealed.

What happened?

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Ducati800.jpg Dude really wanted the motorcycle, so he came equipped – with a blow torch, gas cannisters, a screwdriver and a claw hammer. Problem was, he was a little bit to loud. The homeowner’s 4-year-old son heard some noise, and woke his dad. So dad chased him down the street, then realized he was buck naked. By then the would-be thief was well on his way – without his tools or the motorcycle, though he had managed to melt the lock on the motorcycle.

Neighbors had seen a man with a dark jacket and gloves (see police artist sketch below) dragging a wheelie bin through the neighborhood, looking around to see if he was being watched. Hmmmmmm. If you have any information on this crime, call the South Wales Police at 029 2022 2111 (collect!). (You can read the entire story here.)
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